Should I ask her out?

81 · January 2013

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

PJ_Soul wrote:

Yeah, I agree you should try asking her out alone again instead of waiting for movie night.
As for not being a good conversationalist... why not? Is it that you can't think of anything to say at the moment, feel uncomfortable saying what you're thinking about, or you don't have anything going on in your brain? If it's the former two, sounds like you just need to be comfortable and relax.... if the latter... well... you might want to give up.

Yeah I can't think of what to say.

when you run out of things to say, it's time to bang.

PJ_Soul · January 2013

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

She invited me to the movie night before our date.
I already know these people going to the movie night and I don't have anything in common with them. Add to that I don't particularly like some of these people they are immature tools. Not keen on going.

She is nice and talkative but I wasn't 100% sold on her because:
* admitted to me during the date she never cooks and cannot cook, I need someone I can settle down with and I won't have to do all the cooking.
* Not to sound mean but she isn't as articulate as me and I don't feel she is on the same level intellectually, not saying she is stupid but I just felt more mature during conversation.
* I don't like her friends and her uncle and cousins (we had a fall out over some lies they spread about me and my family)
* I am friends with her brother but we haven't seen each other in a long time.

Don't know what to do, feel like keeping it as friends only even though she is attractive and probably likes me.

:shock: Those complaints are pretty substantial. Forget anything I may have said earlier. Don't bother going to the movies or on another date. You don't respect this person or her friends and famy very much and find her intellectually inferior. Why bother? Unless you think you can just get laid and move on I guess...

Thoughts_Arrive · January 2013

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

She invited me to the movie night before our date.
I already know these people going to the movie night and I don't have anything in common with them. Add to that I don't particularly like some of these people they are immature tools. Not keen on going.

She is nice and talkative but I wasn't 100% sold on her because:
* admitted to me during the date she never cooks and cannot cook, I need someone I can settle down with and I won't have to do all the cooking.
* Not to sound mean but she isn't as articulate as me and I don't feel she is on the same level intellectually, not saying she is stupid but I just felt more mature during conversation.
* I don't like her friends and her uncle and cousins (we had a fall out over some lies they spread about me and my family)
* I am friends with her brother but we haven't seen each other in a long time.

Don't know what to do, feel like keeping it as friends only even though she is attractive and probably likes me.

Regarding the above post I made. Am I being too picky?
I think I need a smart PJ girl from here lol

PJ_Soul · January 2013

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

She invited me to the movie night before our date.
I already know these people going to the movie night and I don't have anything in common with them. Add to that I don't particularly like some of these people they are immature tools. Not keen on going.

She is nice and talkative but I wasn't 100% sold on her because:
* admitted to me during the date she never cooks and cannot cook, I need someone I can settle down with and I won't have to do all the cooking.
* Not to sound mean but she isn't as articulate as me and I don't feel she is on the same level intellectually, not saying she is stupid but I just felt more mature during conversation.
* I don't like her friends and her uncle and cousins (we had a fall out over some lies they spread about me and my family)
* I am friends with her brother but we haven't seen each other in a long time.

Don't know what to do, feel like keeping it as friends only even though she is attractive and probably likes me.

Regarding the above post I made. Am I being too picky?
I think I need a smart PJ girl from here lol

I don't think that wanting to find someone who you feel is your intellectual equal or whose family and friends you at least respect isn't being too picky. The cooking thing might be... I mean, you're not getting married, so who cares if she can cook? You could use her as practice and sowing some oats. But I don't mean USE her. If you feel like she's not a match as far as intelligence goes, I don't see why you'd date her. It's important to feel like you're well suited on that level. And maybe you're wrong. Maybe doubt is clouding your judgement. Try one more date if you're not sure, and then decide.

There are a lot of great 10c girls!!

PJ_Soul · January 2013

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

PJ_Soul wrote:

Yeah, I agree you should try asking her out alone again instead of waiting for movie night.
As for not being a good conversationalist... why not? Is it that you can't think of anything to say at the moment, feel uncomfortable saying what you're thinking about, or you don't have anything going on in your brain? If it's the former two, sounds like you just need to be comfortable and relax.... if the latter... well... you might want to give up.

Yeah I can't think of what to say.

Why's that do you think? Because you have a lot to say here! You seem pretty open and express yourself fully.

When someone you feel naturally comfortable with comes along you'll know it because you won't struggle to think of things to say, and silences won't be uncomfortable.

MayDay10 · January 2013

RKCNDY wrote:

maybe she invited him to movie night with "her" friends to see if they like him, or to see how well he gets along with her friends.

Secret Girl Tip: we like to 'test' you out to see if our friends like you, if they do...you are golden.

i thought he said it was a bunch of people she never gets to see

polaris_x · January 2013

go out ... have fun ... do kids like to have fun these days? ... forget about settling down and stuff ... i am pretty sure you are still young ... if you meet a girl you absolutely feel like is your soulmate ... sure ... but just enjoy what comes your way ... be honest about what you want and all will be good ...

Thoughts_Arrive · January 2013

PJ_Soul wrote:

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

PJ_Soul wrote:

Yeah, I agree you should try asking her out alone again instead of waiting for movie night.
As for not being a good conversationalist... why not? Is it that you can't think of anything to say at the moment, feel uncomfortable saying what you're thinking about, or you don't have anything going on in your brain? If it's the former two, sounds like you just need to be comfortable and relax.... if the latter... well... you might want to give up.

Yeah I can't think of what to say.

Why's that do you think? Because you have a lot to say here! You seem pretty open and express yourself fully.

Online chat is different. People take me as loud and confident until they meet me in person.

Thoughts_Arrive · January 2013

polaris_x wrote:

go out ... have fun ... do kids like to have fun these days? ... forget about settling down and stuff ... i am pretty sure you are still young ... if you meet a girl you absolutely feel like is your soulmate ... sure ... but just enjoy what comes your way ... be honest about what you want and all will be good ...

Turning 29 this year. Not exactly young and I have grey hairs. Tick tock time is running out for me.

PJ_Soul · January 2013

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

polaris_x wrote:

go out ... have fun ... do kids like to have fun these days? ... forget about settling down and stuff ... i am pretty sure you are still young ... if you meet a girl you absolutely feel like is your soulmate ... sure ... but just enjoy what comes your way ... be honest about what you want and all will be good ...

Turning 29 this year. Not exactly young and I have grey hairs. Tick tock time is running out for me.

No it's not - not even close. Many men aren't getting married until their mid to late 30s these days, if that. Don't worry about it. Plus, time is running out for what exactly?? It's not like you have to worry about not being able to get pregnant if you wait too long.

polaris_x · January 2013

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

Turning 29 this year. Not exactly young and I have grey hairs. Tick tock time is running out for me.

you're still young ... you're still maturing and growing as a person ... something that is much better achieved through life experiences of which relationships are important ... it's not really about being too picky as it is not being open to possibilities ... maybe she is smarter than you think? ... maybe she can't cook but she's got a big heart ... there is no perfect combination ... it's really about how you two connect and in what ways ... worst case scenario is it doesn't last but you find out more about yourself as it relates to experiences ...

PJ_Soul · January 2013

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

PJ_Soul wrote:

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

Yeah I can't think of what to say.

Why's that do you think? Because you have a lot to say here! You seem pretty open and express yourself fully.

Online chat is different. People take me as loud and confident until they meet me in person.

I guess... though I don't quite understand. If the thoughts are available to you in your head, why not just say them out loud? Is it because you're self-conscious about what others will think about what comes put of your mouth? ... Obviously I just can't relate to this one (I know that many people struggle with it). Sometimes I have to remind myself to shut up - a different struggle, but a struggle all the same.

But one fail-safe trick: if yoibcan't think of anything to say, just ask her questions about herself, and then ask questions about her answers.

mickeyrat · January 2013

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

polaris_x wrote:

go out ... have fun ... do kids like to have fun these days? ... forget about settling down and stuff ... i am pretty sure you are still young ... if you meet a girl you absolutely feel like is your soulmate ... sure ... but just enjoy what comes your way ... be honest about what you want and all will be good ...

Turning 29 this year. Not exactly young and I have grey hairs. Tick tock time is running out for me.

bullshit , puppy. You sir are reaching for any little inconsequential excuse to stay in your shell, where FOR A FACT you will wind up alone. There is ZERO reward without equal risk. Take a chance. If it doesnt work out, learn from it and press on.

RKCNDY · January 2013

fine dude, you don't sound so keen on her except for the fact that she is a female and she likes you.

Go out with her a few times, hell I dated guys I didn't think I would like, but at least it helped me figure out what I truly didn't want in a potential mate.

You are not going to go out on one date and fall madly in love and that's that, you gotta test the waters a little. Date a snobby girl, date a hippie girl, date a nerdy girl.

pjfan31 · January 2013

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

She invited me to the movie night before our date.
I already know these people going to the movie night and I don't have anything in common with them. Add to that I don't particularly like some of these people they are immature tools. Not keen on going.

She is nice and talkative but I wasn't 100% sold on her because:
* admitted to me during the date she never cooks and cannot cook, I need someone I can settle down with and I won't have to do all the cooking.
* Not to sound mean but she isn't as articulate as me and I don't feel she is on the same level intellectually, not saying she is stupid but I just felt more mature during conversation.
* I don't like her friends and her uncle and cousins (we had a fall out over some lies they spread about me and my family)
* I am friends with her brother but we haven't seen each other in a long time.

Don't know what to do, feel like keeping it as friends only even though she is attractive and probably likes me.

Regarding the above post I made. Am I being too picky?
I think I need a smart PJ girl from here lol

Yes you are being too picky....

I am seeing a girl atm who doesn't cook and doesn't clean... I cook, so that's alright.. I told her if ever we move out together that she is on cleaning and I will cook...

But what she lacks in that department is that her family are ridiculously rich... so, who knows, we might get a cleaner...

One thing I learnt in my years is this... Nobody is perfect. We all have our faults. You have yours, she has hers. Just man up, go on a few more dates. And worst comes to worst, use it as practice for further dating. Dude, if you do not go on another date with her because you are too picky, I will reach my hand through this computer screen, through yours and wring your neck...

81 · January 2013

am i the only one here that wants to shag this girl already?

we need pic

Thoughts_Arrive · January 2013

PJ_Soul wrote:

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

polaris_x wrote:

go out ... have fun ... do kids like to have fun these days? ... forget about settling down and stuff ... i am pretty sure you are still young ... if you meet a girl you absolutely feel like is your soulmate ... sure ... but just enjoy what comes your way ... be honest about what you want and all will be good ...

Turning 29 this year. Not exactly young and I have grey hairs. Tick tock time is running out for me.

No it's not - not even close. Many men aren't getting married until their mid to late 30s these days, if that. Don't worry about it. Plus, time is running out for what exactly?? It's not like you have to worry about not being able to get pregnant if you wait too long.

When I am all grey hairs and wrinkly noone will want me.
I am under pressure from family to get married, it is a cultural thing as well.

Thoughts_Arrive · January 2013

PJ_Soul wrote:

I guess... though I don't quite understand. If the thoughts are available to you in your head, why not just say them out loud? Is it because you're self-conscious about what others will think about what comes put of your mouth? ... Obviously I just can't relate to this one (I know that many people struggle with it). Sometimes I have to remind myself to shut up - a different struggle, but a struggle all the same. But one fail-safe trick: if yoibcan't think of anything to say, just ask her questions about herself, and then ask questions about her answers.

The problem is I often have no thoughts in my when in the presence of others, I have no idea what to say.
Quite contrary to my username here, well then again, only negative thoughts arrive like butterflies.

Thoughts_Arrive · January 2013

pjfan31 wrote:

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

She invited me to the movie night before our date.
I already know these people going to the movie night and I don't have anything in common with them. Add to that I don't particularly like some of these people they are immature tools. Not keen on going.

She is nice and talkative but I wasn't 100% sold on her because:
* admitted to me during the date she never cooks and cannot cook, I need someone I can settle down with and I won't have to do all the cooking.
* Not to sound mean but she isn't as articulate as me and I don't feel she is on the same level intellectually, not saying she is stupid but I just felt more mature during conversation.
* I don't like her friends and her uncle and cousins (we had a fall out over some lies they spread about me and my family)
* I am friends with her brother but we haven't seen each other in a long time.

Don't know what to do, feel like keeping it as friends only even though she is attractive and probably likes me.

Regarding the above post I made. Am I being too picky?
I think I need a smart PJ girl from here lol

Yes you are being too picky....

I am seeing a girl atm who doesn't cook and doesn't clean... I cook, so that's alright.. I told her if ever we move out together that she is on cleaning and I will cook...

But what she lacks in that department is that her family are ridiculously rich... so, who knows, we might get a cleaner...

One thing I learnt in my years is this... Nobody is perfect. We all have our faults. You have yours, she has hers. Just man up, go on a few more dates. And worst comes to worst, use it as practice for further dating. Dude, if you do not go on another date with her because you are too picky, I will reach my hand through this computer screen, through yours and wring your neck...

Shoot me instead.

The Juggler · January 2013

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

She invited me to the movie night before our date.
I already know these people going to the movie night and I don't have anything in common with them. Add to that I don't particularly like some of these people they are immature tools. Not keen on going.

She is nice and talkative but I wasn't 100% sold on her because:
* admitted to me during the date she never cooks and cannot cook, I need someone I can settle down with and I won't have to do all the cooking.
* Not to sound mean but she isn't as articulate as me and I don't feel she is on the same level intellectually, not saying she is stupid but I just felt more mature during conversation.
* I don't like her friends and her uncle and cousins (we had a fall out over some lies they spread about me and my family)
* I am friends with her brother but we haven't seen each other in a long time.

Don't know what to do, feel like keeping it as friends only even though she is attractive and probably likes me.

Regarding the above post I made. Am I being too picky?
I think I need a smart PJ girl from here lol

yup.

and you're successfully talking yourself out of even a chance of having a good time with this chick.

29 is not old.

this thread is now making me angry. :x

Should I ask her out?

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