Wife going out of town for Bachelorette Party

Blockhead wrote:

PillowPants wrote:

ofthegirl99 wrote:

Dude, this is you wife you're talking about. You have kids, you share a life, if you can't trust your wife by now........I really don't know what to tell you.

yeah i don't get how he keeps saying "people do things because....."

we're talking about 1 specific person ... not some kid throwing rocks at cops?


either she's trustworthy or she's not... either she can control herself drunk or she can't

her hanging around with loose chicks is not exactly a vote of confidence but typically groups are made up of all types so just because she's watching others take some filthy guy into the bathroom doesn't mean she'll be up next

and mob mentality goes out the window once it's just her and The Situation in the back of his rented Escalade

I though it was pretty evident in the first post when I said she does not make good decisions when she drinks.
None of her choices have been sexual related, but they have proved her to be a very, very sloppy drunk.

guess my reading comprehension sucks

but you've been around her all the other times during these sloppy decisions?

Blockhead wrote:

josevolution wrote:

And don't show her this thread ok
[inappropriate link removed by admin]

You have nothing to worry about if this is the only thing she might do

Is that link safe for work?

jhc it's not... i think it's also got a virus... easy there jose!! yikes

trust

Blockhead wrote:

Again, just because I don't like the situation doest not make it a trust issue. This is also a 2 way street here. Not that I need to be asked for approval or set any boundries for her, but in my view this is a thing of mutual respect. If your partner willingly puts his or herself in a situation involving partying/drugs/alcohol/people of the opposite sex, while being in a relationship, it speaks volumes to what they really think of their partner.
When I go out, which is rare, its usually camping/sports bar/activity. Before I do something I put my self in my wifes shoes and look at things from her perspective. Is this behavior something would disrespect her or our relationship.

you're assuming what her behavior will be

going out is not disrespectful

Blockhead wrote:

You asked a condisending question... I was replying with your same tone.
Again, your reading comprehension skills are not fine, You just proved my point that YES alcohol does have an effect on your ability to drive. Just like the social psych of herd mentality has an effect on peoples behavior. I still have yet to figure out where you think I proposed that as an excuse for behavior, I simply was pointing out how certin enviornments can change your actions of something your normally wouldn't do, all while being intoxicated. Would anything happen, I would still hold her accountable for her actions weather driven by alcohol or environment. Those choices are her responsibility...
I am asking for advice, not someone to dismiss a proven social psychology with sarcastic undertones...

oh.... lol...

Obviously you're reading comprehension skills are just as inept as mine, because my question was not meant to be condescending at all.

In your original post, you are already defending whatever action your wife may or may not take on her night out. To me, basically, the post says, "my wife is a good wholesome person who would never normally cheat on me, but she's going out Saturday night and it may happen because of herd mentality".

You're giving an excuse for her potential actions before anything has actually been done. Which several people in this thread, including myself, have indicated seems indicative of trust issues. Either this has happened to you, or someone else before, or you've seen one too many movies (please don't take that as condescending, just trying to lighten the mood).

So my question was meant to make think about what you would do if the supposed event did happen and she used the excuse you've already constructed in your mind. It wasn't meant to be condescending, i legitimately want to know what you would do out of curosity. I have a girlfriend who regularly gets too far ahead of herself and comes up with completely absurd, illogical results to ordinary every day situations, and when I get her mind thinking about how crazy this stuff seems sometimes, she relaxes and continues on with normal life... and I am thinking that you might be headed down the same course... maybe that's foolish of me, but anyway...

I guess I just don't understand your situation. If i was in a predicament like what you described in the original post, I would be out the door, because I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone I don't completely trust. That's all.

Several people have pointed out that you appear to have trust issues... now i'm not a psychologist, but you seem to be unwilling to listen to this point, so it's obvious to me that you came into the discussion with a pre-disposed opinion of how you should act and what all of us are saying isn't making any difference anyway... so again I question why I typed all this out....

Black Diamond wrote:

My wife has a baby shower this weekend :think:

post of the thread.

Blockhead wrote:

pandora wrote:

Trust is built over time, love ebb and flows, partners have weak times
and trust is tested by conduct and faith.

Looking back over lifetime love, putting oneself in positions
of great temptation is really not a very smart move, most especially when alcohol
lowers inhibitions, but it happens for both husband and wife.

Now a lifetime later, taking ahold of loves hand...
free from betrayal, it feels like lucky stars surround.

So carry the big picture of life in your love, never let it down, work
to make it last and most of all believe.

Keep the faith Blockhead and let your lovely wife know you believe in her....
people often do what is expected of them.

It is very naive to think that even the strongest of us cannot be seduced when we are vulnerable. It usually takes a fall to realize that.

That is not true.

pandora wrote:

"Keep the faith Blockhead and let your lovely wife know you believe in her....
people often do what is expected of them.

This is true. What you believe will happen usually does. Think positive and positive will come to you. All the worrying and questioning will only bring negativity. Let it go.

Seriously? You are freaking out about a Bachelorette Party?

I'd say you better keep this to yourself and figure out how to get past it. Being a controlling, non-trusting person is not very attractive.

rick1zoo2 wrote:

what exactly were you looking for when you made this thread?

a hug?