Wife going out of town for Bachelorette Party
Blockhead
Posts: 1,538
As the title states, my wife will be going out of town for her best friends (college roommate) bachelorette party this weekend. So naturally they will be staying in a hotel in the city (Indy). Now originally when I was told about this I was pretty happy for her and didn't really give it any thought or concern. But now that it is fast approaching (this weekend) I am starting to feel nervous/worrisome.
Now I want to establish that I am not insecure and I do trust my wife, that is not the issues. My issue is that she gets a little out of control when she drinks and is not a very good decision maker. Now I have that issue combined with a bunch of mostly single girls who I know for a fact have cheated on their finaces and have no issues justifying their behavior. What I am afraid of is what we call the "group dynamic" or the "Mob mentality" I am afraid with all the day long drinking and girls egging on one another that there is "potential" for a mistake or bad decision on this trip. Not only that but some of the games that they have planned are already toeing the line. One of the games is that they are supposed to wear clothes with candy stuck to it and men get to "suck for a buck"...
I am not really sure how to approach this with my wife...
Like I said, I trust my wife, but I don't trust her soaked in gasoline holding a macth, If you know what I am saying...
Now I want to establish that I am not insecure and I do trust my wife, that is not the issues. My issue is that she gets a little out of control when she drinks and is not a very good decision maker. Now I have that issue combined with a bunch of mostly single girls who I know for a fact have cheated on their finaces and have no issues justifying their behavior. What I am afraid of is what we call the "group dynamic" or the "Mob mentality" I am afraid with all the day long drinking and girls egging on one another that there is "potential" for a mistake or bad decision on this trip. Not only that but some of the games that they have planned are already toeing the line. One of the games is that they are supposed to wear clothes with candy stuck to it and men get to "suck for a buck"...
I am not really sure how to approach this with my wife...
Like I said, I trust my wife, but I don't trust her soaked in gasoline holding a macth, If you know what I am saying...
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments
1. the reality is that you don't trust your wife ... otherwise you wouldn't have these issues ... i'm not saying that you should or shouldn't ... only that you can't say you trust your wife and then throw in a bunch of caveats that basically indicate that you don't ...
2. there is absolutely nothing you can do ...
Well, you beat me to this. Dead-on-balls accurate. (It's an industry term).
But there is something to be said for the group dynamic. Most people wouldn’t throw things at a cop, set a car on fire or break store windows, but get a group together after a major sporting event or protest and weird things happen. Put a bunch of women (most who are lying cheaters) who have been drinking in a situation/games where men are willing to push the envelope… Does this guarantee bad things will happen, no. It does provide a scenario where they can happen rather easily. Thats my worry.
Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
Oh ok you didn't state that they are kids involved forget about the wife for two days have fun with the kids if she's a mature mom she will behave and you can allways get someone to baby sit while you go out and have some man fun
Pizza and Transylvania on Saturday.
I kid!
I wouldn't worry about it. If you have an open and honest relationship and you truly trust her...then you'll have nothing to worry about and you should wish her a good time.
That said, you should to find a babysitter and go out with the guys or something.
And at the very least, get shit drunk and try to bang the babysitter!
soo ... you don't trust her when she is part of a mob or in this case her girlfriends ... it's fairly simple and this really isn't about making you admit something ... it's simply to show you what the issue really is ... we are not saying the mob mentality is false or even that you shouldn't worry ... it's very reasonable for you to have those concerns ... but at the end of the day - it is a trust issue and when it comes to that - there really isn't a whole lot you can do about it ...
you can ask her to be safe but beyond that - you will have to trust that she is going to not do something stupid ...
Gotta say, I tend to agree with Polaris on this point. Either you trust her, or you don't. My girlfriend hangs out with a bunch of girls that are cheaters (I know this for a fact, as I'm friends with the guys they've cheated on).... do I get bent out of shape every time she goes out with them on a girl's night? No, because I trust her. that simple...
And for the record, "mob mentality" is a fucking excuse, and nothing else. People need to own up for their actions and decisions in this world. We give people too many excuses to justify just flat out stupid actions. Own up to your decisions.
I couldn't agree more. No one takes accountability for their actions these days. Always some bullshit excuse.
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
If she goes out, and she does cheat on you - Do you chalk it up to "mob mentality", excuse her for it, and move on with your lives? Or do you just stop trusting her?
btw,this is very intresting topic for a thread,even someone need to open personal to talk about it..thanks the OP
for sharing...
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
There are some fairly solid and repeatable studies that have been done that have shown how little it takes to get a person to go along with a group/and or react with a group.
And I am also not taking it as an excuse for bad behavior, I would still hold the person accountable for their actions.
I was just pointing it out as to why people do stupid things like rape in war zones, rioting, beatings, and looting, that may seem otherwise out of character and add alcohol in the mix and it's a potential recipe for disaster
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
Regarding #1. I never presented that as a excues for her behavior in any of my posts, I am explaining why this bachelorette party does not sit well with me. Because people do increadibly stupid things under the influence of alchol and following a group of people. As I pointed out, not many people will throw things at cops/ bust store windows, but as soon as their in a group of people in a common setting/enviornment people do those things our of character...
And just because someone is influenced by either is not an excuse... explination=/= excuse.
Example:
Alchol slows down your reaction time, especially dangerous while driving (hence why its illegal). If I wrecked my car while drunk, I am responsible because I made that decision to get drunk but the Alchol DID AFFECT my driving though right???
Your daughters are learning from both your examples. Fidelity, loyalty, these
are traits both you and your wife want those little treasures to learn and live.
Plan something fun for the girls, let Mama know whats going on in her absence ...
she will be thinking of you guys and missing you much...
love is grand not a one night stand