a little contest for a free dvd....signed by mike pic added

1246

Comments

  • JonnyPistachio
    JonnyPistachio Florida Posts: 10,219
    Two guys just finished their workout at the gym and hit the showers.

    James rrealizes that his friend Bob has an orange penis.

    Confused and worried, James has been worried about Bob because Bobs girlfriend recently dumped him and he’s been holed up in his house for months doing nothing.

    James asks, “Bob, everything ok man? I noticed you have an orange cock. I’m worried about you bro, what have you been doing since the girl dumped you?”

    Bob replies, “Nothing man, I’m too depressed to go out really. I just sit around all day, every day watching TV, drinking beer, and eating cheetos.”

    :D
    Pick up my debut novel here on amazon: Jonny Bails Floatin (in paperback) (also available on Kindle for $2.99)
  • PNuttyJam
    PNuttyJam Posts: 837
    Two Creed fans were trying to cross Puget Sound to get to downtown Seattle. One Creed fan says to the other:
    "Hey, I know, I'll shine this flashlight across the water and you can walk across on the beam!"
    The other Creed fan responds:
    "I'm not that stupid. I'll get halfway across the water and you'll turn off the flashlight!"

    Great contest!
    Mesa I - 11/93 * Toledo - 9/96 * Chicago - 6/98 * St Louis - 7/98 * Indy - 8/98 * St Louis & San Diego - 10/00 * Mt View II - 10/01 * Irvine I & II, San Diego - 6/03 * Chicago I - 5/06 * San Diego & SF III - 7/06 * Lolla - 8/07 * EV Chicago - 8/08 * Chicago I & II - 8/09 * Kansas City & Indy - 5/10 * PJ20 X2 - 9/11 * Atlanta 9/12 * Wrigley Field 7/13 * Moline & Milwaukee 10/14 * Wrigley Field I & II 8/16 * Wrigley Field I & II 8/18 * Ohana Encore I & II 10/21 * EV & The Earthlings Chicago II 2/22
    Won the lottery PJ20 Night 1 - Front Row in front of Jeff - Forever grateful to Ten Club
    ***I wanna live my life with the volume full***
  • vant0037
    vant0037 Posts: 6,170
    Many moons ago, Pony and Eagle walked up to Coyote. Pony said to Coyote, "I am very mad at Eagle. Will you yell at him for me?" Coyote said to Pony, "Why can you not yell yourself?" And Pony replied, "Because I am a little horse." Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

    Anyone? Anyone?
    1998-06-30 Minneapolis
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    2006-06-26 St. Paul
    2007-08-05 Chicago
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    2009-08-28 San Francisco
    2010-05-01 NOLA (Jazz Fest)
    2011-07-02 EV Minneapolis
    2011-09-03 PJ20
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    2011-09-17 Winnipeg
    2012-06-26 Amsterdam
    2012-06-27 Amsterdam
    2013-07-19 Wrigley
    2013-11-21 San Diego
    2013-11-23 Los Angeles
    2013-11-24 Los Angeles
    2014-07-08 Leeds, UK
    2014-07-11 Milton Keynes, UK
    2014-10-09 Lincoln
    2014-10-19 St. Paul
    2014-10-20 Milwaukee
    2016-08-20 Wrigley 1
    2016-08-22 Wrigley 2
    2018-06-18 London 1
    2018-08-18 Wrigley 1
    2018-08-20 Wrigley 2
    2022-09-16 Nashville
    2023-08-31 St. Paul
    2023-09-02 St. Paul
    2023-09-05 Chicago 1
    2024-08-31 Wrigley 2
    2024-09-15 Fenway 1
    2024-09-27 Ohana 1
    2024-09-29 Ohana 2
    2025-05-03 NOLA (Jazz Fest)
  • strummers
    strummers Posts: 2,611
    Charlie-Sheen-Winning-Poster.jpg
    http://www.wishlistfoundation.org
    http://www.strummersphotography.com

    <object width="360" height="300"><param name="movie" value="http://www.redbubble.com/swf/redbubble.swf"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><PARAM NAME=FlashVars VALUE="url=http://www.redbubble.com/people/strummers/works/visual.atom?campaign=sales_widget&mode=slideshow"><embed src="http://www.redbubble.com/swf/redbubble.swf&quot; FlashVars="url=http://www.redbubble.com/people/strummers/works/visual.atom?campaign=sales_widget&mode=slideshow&quot; type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="360" height="300"></embed></object>
  • Kilgore_Trout
    Kilgore_Trout Posts: 7,334
    women's basketball
    "Senza speme vivemo in disio"

    http://seanbriceart.com/
  • joe2468
    joe2468 Posts: 3,049
    some great ones so far ..... a few really made me laugh .. and creed one is just priceless .. :lol::lol::lol:

    KEEP THEM COMING
    have you seen the colors of my fathers eyes
  • eyejacker
    eyejacker Posts: 1,282
    Child: Daddy,, I don't like mommy...
    Dad: That's ok, just have the potatoes!

    ( :mrgreen: old skool Greek joke...)

    Thanks for the chance!
    Fantastic competition!! :-)
  • pjfan31
    pjfan31 Posts: 7,335
    What's green and smells like bacon?

    Kermits fingers....
    Sydney 11/02/2003
    Sydney 14/02/2003
    Sydney 07/11/2006
    Sydney 18/11/2006
    Sydney 22/11/2009
    EV Sydney 18/03/2011
    EV Sydney 19/03/2011
    EV Sydney 20/03/2011
    Melbourne 24/01/2014
    Sydney 26/01/2014
    EV Sydney 13/02/2014
  • Kilgore_Trout
    Kilgore_Trout Posts: 7,334
    eyejacker wrote:
    Child: Daddy,, I don't like mommy...
    Dad: That's ok, just have the potatoes!

    ( :mrgreen: old skool Greek joke...)

    Thanks for the chance!
    Fantastic competition!! :-)
    :|

    must lose something in translation...
    "Senza speme vivemo in disio"

    http://seanbriceart.com/
  • eyejacker
    eyejacker Posts: 1,282
    Kilgore_Trout wrote:
    eyejacker wrote:
    Child: Daddy,, I don't like mommy...
    Dad: That's ok, just have the potatoes!

    ( :mrgreen: old skool Greek joke...)

    Thanks for the chance!
    Fantastic competition!! :-)
    :|

    must lose something in translation...

    Think Silence of the Lambs....
  • Kilgore_Trout
    Kilgore_Trout Posts: 7,334
    eyejacker wrote:
    Kilgore_Trout wrote:
    eyejacker wrote:
    Child: Daddy,, I don't like mommy...
    Dad: That's ok, just have the potatoes!

    ( :mrgreen: old skool Greek joke...)

    Thanks for the chance!
    Fantastic competition!! :-)
    :|

    must lose something in translation...

    Think Silence of the Lambs....
    oh.... OHHHHHH...

    ew.
    "Senza speme vivemo in disio"

    http://seanbriceart.com/
  • joe2468
    joe2468 Posts: 3,049
    pjfan31 wrote:
    What's green and smells like bacon?

    Kermits fingers....
    :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
    have you seen the colors of my fathers eyes
  • Hugh Freaking Dillon
    Hugh Freaking Dillon Posts: 14,010
    mvluckymike wrote:
    What has nine arms and sucks?


    Def Leppard

    :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
    Gimli 1993
    Fargo 2003
    Winnipeg 2005
    Winnipeg 2011
    St. Paul 2014
  • BM42909
    BM42909 Posts: 143
    Poncier wrote:
    Here, submit this one instead:

    A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, "give me some Chapstick and put it on my bill".

    ...same pharmacy. Same duck. Two weeks later.

    The duck goes up to the pharmacist and asks for some condoms. The Pharmacist quips, "Do you want me to put them on your bill?"

    The duck replies, "Hell NO! What, do you think I'm a dick?!"
  • RW8297
    RW8297 Posts: 1,618
    -My dog's got no nose!
    -How does he smell?
    -Awful!
  • U R A Crazy Breed
    U R A Crazy Breed Posts: 8,370
    joe2468 wrote:
    pjfan31 wrote:
    What's green and smells like bacon?

    Kermits fingers....
    :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

    really? i heard that shit in like....4th grade!
  • S.O.L.A.T
    S.O.L.A.T Posts: 56
    Two Elephants walk off a cliff...... Boom Boom

    My Fave joke of all time but not to be topped

    two fish swim into a wall.. one looks at the other and goes ...DAM!!
  • joe2468
    joe2468 Posts: 3,049
    bump
    have you seen the colors of my fathers eyes
  • Dead Man Walking
    Dead Man Walking Toronto-ish Posts: 2,762
    Here's my attempt...It's the cleanest joke I could think of...

    Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: It's an obscure number, you've probably never heard of it.

    Thanks for the great contest.
    -DMW
  • joe2468
    joe2468 Posts: 3,049
    .... coming down to the wire folks ..... im going to make even more interesting ....

    im going to pick the top 5 jokes ..ask for your addresses then send it out to ONE winner .... you wont know if you won till you open the box ..
    have you seen the colors of my fathers eyes

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