a little contest for a free dvd....signed by mike pic added

joe2468

this past weekend me and a few friends of mine went to the Tres MT show and the McCready event beforehand ...i was one of the Joes (joe2) who dropped an ass load of cash on stuff.....hell it was all for charity ..... one of the things i bid on and won ($100) was the McCReady event poster SIGNED by him .it came with a Shoxbox DVD..little did i know the DVD BOX WAS ALSO SIGNED BY HIM.....

now the kicker ... i already own the DVD ... and dont need another one ..

so write a joke and best one wins a FREE SHOWBOX DVD SIGNED BY the FACE MELTER HIM SELF ..MR Mike McCready



note the box is signed not the dvd...and im assuming the dvd works ...

i will take jokes till friday 6pm ......

ponner1us

Two guys walk into a bar, the third ducks.

bazzer

McCready, but whatever...

Jeremys Spoken

Mushroom walks into a bar and sits all by himself with his head hanging low. Bartender walks over and says "Rough night? Girl problems eh?" Mushroom goes.. "I don't get why she didn't like me, im a Fun-gai."





Thanks I'll be here all week.

pjradio

"How many members of Pearl Jam does it take to change a light bulb?"


"Change?! Change? We're not gonna change for anyone! Do you hear me? Not for anyone."

Firecloud

Nice little contest.

What do you call a monkey in a minefield ?  

A Baboom!


I felt a little weird starting my own thread about it, but we're giving away the Super Deluxe Box Set of the Vs. and Vitalogy reissues:

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/music/article/giveaway-pearl-jam-reissue-vsvitalogy-super-deluxe-box-set-126655

Super Creep

I'm no good with jokes, but a friend told me this once, so he it goes:

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the
difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?"

The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother
if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask
your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars,
and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million
dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."

So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad
Pitt for a million dollars?"

The mother replied, "Of course, I would! We could really use that
money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!"

The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad
Pitt for a million dollars?"

The girl replied, "Oh, good heavens! I LOVE Brad Pitt and I would
sleep with him in a heartbeat. Are you nuts?"

The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with
Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"

"Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million
bucks would buy?"

The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.

His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between
'potentially' and 'realistically'?"

The boy replied, "Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three
million dollars, but 'realistically', we're living with two hookers
and a future congressman."

mervin50

A pair of Irish ditch diggers were repairing some road damage directly
across the street from a whore house.

They witnessed a Protestant Minister lurking about, then ducking into the
house.

"Would ye look at that, Darby!" said Pat. "What a shameful disgrace, those
Protestant Reverends sinning in a house the likes of that place!". They
both shook their heads and continued working.

A short time later they watched as a Rabbi looked around cautiously
and then darted into the house when he was satisfied no one was looking.

"Did ya see that, Darby?" Pat asked in shock and disbelief, "Is nothing
holy to those Jewish Rabbis? I just can't understand what the world is
coming to these days. A man of the cloth indulging himself in sins of the
flesh. 'Tis a shame, I tell ya!".

Not much later a third man, a Catholic Priest, was lurking about the
house, looking around to see if any one was watching, then quietly
sneaking in.

"Oh no, Darby, look!" said Pat, removing his cap, "One of the poor girls
musta died."

thefixer9

Dirty Frank.........

Don't put me in the contest since I have had more then my fair share but thanks for the chance!

sparky_fry

wow, great story, and damn good on ya for giving it away.

Anyway, I remember a good joke that someone told me but couldn't remember it exactly so i had to Google it. Here it is:

For convenience sake, an elderly married couple scheduled their annual physical examinations to take place on the same day. After examining the elderly man, the doctor said, "You appear to be in good health. Are there any medical concerns you would like to discuss with me?" "Yes, doctor, there is one," replied the elderly man. "After I make love to my wife for the first time, I am usually hot and sweaty. And then, after I have sex my wife the second time, I am usually cold and chilly." "That's quite interesting," replied the doctor. "Let me do some research and get back to you." After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said, "Everything appears to be fine. Are there any medical concerns you would like to discuss with me?" The lady assured the doctor that she didn't have any questions or concerns. The doctor then asked, "Your husband had quite an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after making love the first time and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you have any idea why this would be?" "Oh that silly old fool," she replied. "That's because the first time is usually in July and the second time is usually in December!"

thanks for the chance man.

klusterfuk

why is the leper always a hit at parties? everyone uses the back of his neck as a chip dip :P

bazzer

Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick.

deskilla

who's mike mc'cready?

U R A Crazy Breed

Theres a rabbit walking through the woods and he comes upon a skunk rolling a joint. He says "dear skunk, you don't need those drugs! Come with me and let us live in peace deep in the forest!

So they start walking and eventually they come upon a deer doing lines of coke. The rabbit says "my friend deer, you don't need those drugs! Come with me to live in peace deep in the forest with skunk.

So they start walking and eventually they come upon this bear smoking crack. The rabbit says "brother bear you.., Then all the sudden the bear kicks the rabbit in the ass and he goes flying over the trees deep into the forest. The skunk & deer at the very same time yell "what the fuck did ya do that for??!!!"

The bear says "That Fuck'n rabbit! Every time he drops E, he comes around here fucking with my high!!"

StickmanJam

Guy is telling his buddies about his time training as a paratrooper in the military.

"So we were up in the air for our first practice jump, and I was terrified. When it was my turn, the drill sergeant looks to me and says, 'JUMP!' I hesitated. He shouts again, 'Jump now you pussy or I'll shove my cock in your ass!."

Guys friends says, "So did you jump?"

His response. "Only a little at first."

Black73

Thanks for the chance man!

A guy walks into a bar and hears beautiful piano music. He notices a one-foot tall man playing the piano. When he asks the bartender for details, he simply replies, "This is a magic bar." "The bartender then invites the man to visit the back of the bar. "When you enter the back room, simply make a wish and it will be granted."

The man reluctantly enters the back room, and makes his wish. He is immediately swarmed by ducks, so he runs to the bartender and says, "I thought this was a magic bar! I wished for a million bucks!"

The bartender asks, "You really think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?"

BM42909

My wife came home with a new tattoo of a sea-shell on her inner thigh.The shading is impeccable and the coloring is fantastic. I love the placement too. High enough on the thigh that she can still wear shorts and no one is the wiser.

However, the part I like best is the memories that it arouses in my of our time spent down the shore. When I put my head to the shell, I can smell the ocean.

ScottandPearlJam

Def want the DVD gonna try my best

"what did the tired chess player do"?

He took the KINIGHT off......I know its kids-dayish

scott

neilybabes86

just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching.......MY CAR INTO REVERSE AND DRIVING AWAY FROM THE ACCIDENT!!!!!!

molten_toothpaste

What do give a man who has everything?

Antibiotics!



Thanks for the chance!

neilybabes86

molten_toothpaste wrote:

What do give a man who has everything?

Antibiotics!



Thanks for the chance!

DUDE..LETTIG NY DOWN WITH THAT ONE...