a little contest for a free dvd....signed by mike pic added

AzWicker

joe2468 wrote:

.... coming down to the wire folks ..... im going to make even more interesting ....

im going to pick the top 5 jokes ..ask for your addresses then send it out to ONE winner .... you wont know if you won till you open the box ..

Hmmm, what date does this contest end? :twisted:

LukinFan

joe2468 wrote:

.... coming down to the wire folks ..... im going to make even more interesting ....

im going to pick the top 5 jokes ..ask for your addresses then send it out to ONE winner .... you wont know if you won till you open the box ..

I love it! This is a lot of fun - thanks again for doing this

Lizard

how much coke did Charlie Sheen snort?



Enough to kill 2 and a half men!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gibson72

A guy from Canada & a guy from USA are arguing about who can do things better.
The Canadian goes "We are better at hockey"
The American goes "We have better basketball players"
This goes on & on until the American says "We are better skydivers"
So they agree to have a contest.

So the American jumps out of the plane 1st. Pulls his cord & opens his chute no problems.
The Canadian jumps next. Pulls his cord but nothing happens. He pulls the emergency cord. Still nothing.

As the American is coasting down, the Canadian goes flying past him very fast.
The American looks down & says "So, you want to race?" And removed his parachute.

weekapaug19

Dear Scissors,

Nobody will run with me either.

Signed,
Sarah Palin

snow_board_rider

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”

demetrios

Q: What is the difference between Pearl Jam & Drugs?

A: Drugs are much cheaper!

joe2468

Lizard wrote:

how much coke did Charlie Sheen snort?



Enough to kill 2 and a half men!!!!!!!!!!!!

cant go wrong with a sheen joke

Cradles Broken Glass

1st through 10th rows at all Ed solo shows will be Ten C seats.

BSully

Did you pick a winner yet?

joe2468

im going to go through them tonight .... been busy the last few days .. and any after friday wont count .....

joe2468

so this is what my girlfriend and i agree are the top 5 best jokes ......IN NO PARTICULAR order ...

ed243421 » Tue Mar 29, 2011 10:27 am

a bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods

the bear looks down at the rabbit and says

"do you have any trouble with shit sticking to your fur?"

the rabbit says "no"

so the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit

BrokenGlass » Tue Mar 29, 2011 10:30 am

An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed
by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls
that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde
stepped out. The father said quietly to his son..."Go get your mother."

Ledbetterdays » Mon Mar 28, 2011 11:11 pm

Two guys are out playing golf. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

dwhite76 » Tue Mar 29, 2011 4:44 am

A guy lies hung over on a beach after a party. lying next to him in the sand is a genie bottle. He says "what the hell ill rub it" a genie appears. Genie says "you get but 1 wish." The man thinking he's still drunk says as a wise ass "I wish I could piss vodka."

Later that evening while taking a piss he notices it stings while he pisses. He then remembers the Genie dream and says "nah that couldnt happen" His curiosity gets the best of him and he decides to taste it sure enough its vodka. He pisses in a glass and brings it to his wife. She drinks and he tells her the story. She's in disbalief. But being a lush she loves the idea.

The next day she comes home from work and her husband has 2 glasses ready for them. This goes on for 3 days.
The 4th day there are no glasses on the table. She says "Whats wrong?" He replies to her " Tonight you drink straight from the bottle"

neilybabes86 » Mon Mar 28, 2011 8:46 pm

just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching.......MY CAR INTO REVERSE AND DRIVING AWAY FROM THE ACCIDENT!!!!!!

U R A Crazy Breed

dude.....this is bullshit...my joke was wayyyy better than most of these! :evil:

and the bear/rabbit joke?! i heard that in like 4th grade!!! holy shit!! :wtf:


but........whatever man!!

good luck to the final 5!

BSully

Yeah, good luck final 5.

I knew mine wouldn't win because it is a notoriously bad joke, but I was hoping for the pity factor

BM42909

If I knew his girl would help pick the finalist, I wouldn't have made fun of my girl in my post.

joe2468

im going to need the addresses to the five finalist ......

ed243421
BrokenGlass
Ledbetterdays
dwhite76
neilybabes86

kevinbeetle

im late to the party, but i heard this today

How does Lady Gaga like her steak?

RAW, RAW, RAW RAW RAW

kevinbeetle

meh, one more

a 40 year old man and an 8 year old boy are walking through the woods at night. the boy says to the man. 'mister, I'm scared. the man says, 'you're scared? i gotta walk out of here alone!'

BrokenGlass

joe2468 wrote:

im going to need the addresses to the five finalist ......

ed243421
BrokenGlass
Ledbetterdays
dwhite76
neilybabes86

PM sent, fingers crossed! Thanks, and glad you guys liked the joke!

dwhite76

You have to pick my joke, Joe. See it could be fun for you and ur girlfriend. Just tell her you woke up on the beach this morning. Hey it worked for me Maybe not :x