a little contest for a free dvd....signed by mike pic added

JonnyPistachio

Two guys just finished their workout at the gym and hit the showers.

James rrealizes that his friend Bob has an orange penis.

Confused and worried, James has been worried about Bob because Bobs girlfriend recently dumped him and he’s been holed up in his house for months doing nothing.

James asks, “Bob, everything ok man? I noticed you have an orange cock. I’m worried about you bro, what have you been doing since the girl dumped you?”

Bob replies, “Nothing man, I’m too depressed to go out really. I just sit around all day, every day watching TV, drinking beer, and eating cheetos.”

PNuttyJam

Two Creed fans were trying to cross Puget Sound to get to downtown Seattle. One Creed fan says to the other:
"Hey, I know, I'll shine this flashlight across the water and you can walk across on the beam!"
The other Creed fan responds:
"I'm not that stupid. I'll get halfway across the water and you'll turn off the flashlight!"

Great contest!

vant0037

Many moons ago, Pony and Eagle walked up to Coyote. Pony said to Coyote, "I am very mad at Eagle. Will you yell at him for me?" Coyote said to Pony, "Why can you not yell yourself?" And Pony replied, "Because I am a little horse." Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

Anyone? Anyone?

strummers

Kilgore_Trout

women's basketball

joe2468

some great ones so far ..... a few really made me laugh .. and creed one is just priceless ..

KEEP THEM COMING

eyejacker

Child: Daddy,, I don't like mommy...
Dad: That's ok, just have the potatoes!

( old skool Greek joke...)

Thanks for the chance!
Fantastic competition!! :-)

pjfan31

What's green and smells like bacon?

Kermits fingers....

Kilgore_Trout

eyejacker wrote:

Child: Daddy,, I don't like mommy...
Dad: That's ok, just have the potatoes!

( old skool Greek joke...)

Thanks for the chance!
Fantastic competition!! :-)

must lose something in translation...

eyejacker

Kilgore_Trout wrote:

eyejacker wrote:

Child: Daddy,, I don't like mommy...
Dad: That's ok, just have the potatoes!

( old skool Greek joke...)

Thanks for the chance!
Fantastic competition!! :-)

must lose something in translation...

Think Silence of the Lambs....

Kilgore_Trout

eyejacker wrote:

Kilgore_Trout wrote:

eyejacker wrote:

Child: Daddy,, I don't like mommy...
Dad: That's ok, just have the potatoes!

( old skool Greek joke...)

Thanks for the chance!
Fantastic competition!! :-)

must lose something in translation...

Think Silence of the Lambs....

oh.... OHHHHHH...

ew.

joe2468

pjfan31 wrote:

What's green and smells like bacon?

Kermits fingers....

Hugh Freaking Dillon

mvluckymike wrote:

What has nine arms and sucks?


Def Leppard

BM42909

Poncier wrote:

Here, submit this one instead:

A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, "give me some Chapstick and put it on my bill".

...same pharmacy. Same duck. Two weeks later.

The duck goes up to the pharmacist and asks for some condoms. The Pharmacist quips, "Do you want me to put them on your bill?"

The duck replies, "Hell NO! What, do you think I'm a dick?!"

RW8297

-My dog's got no nose!
-How does he smell?
-Awful!

U R A Crazy Breed

joe2468 wrote:

pjfan31 wrote:

What's green and smells like bacon?

Kermits fingers....

really? i heard that shit in like....4th grade!

S.O.L.A.T

Two Elephants walk off a cliff...... Boom Boom

My Fave joke of all time but not to be topped

two fish swim into a wall.. one looks at the other and goes ...DAM!!

joe2468

bump

Dead Man Walking

Here's my attempt...It's the cleanest joke I could think of...

Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It's an obscure number, you've probably never heard of it.

Thanks for the great contest.
-DMW

joe2468

.... coming down to the wire folks ..... im going to make even more interesting ....

im going to pick the top 5 jokes ..ask for your addresses then send it out to ONE winner .... you wont know if you won till you open the box ..