Two guys just finished their workout at the gym and hit the showers.
James rrealizes that his friend Bob has an orange penis.
Confused and worried, James has been worried about Bob because Bobs girlfriend recently dumped him and he’s been holed up in his house for months doing nothing.
James asks, “Bob, everything ok man? I noticed you have an orange cock. I’m worried about you bro, what have you been doing since the girl dumped you?”
Bob replies, “Nothing man, I’m too depressed to go out really. I just sit around all day, every day watching TV, drinking beer, and eating cheetos.”
Two Creed fans were trying to cross Puget Sound to get to downtown Seattle. One Creed fan says to the other:
"Hey, I know, I'll shine this flashlight across the water and you can walk across on the beam!"
The other Creed fan responds:
"I'm not that stupid. I'll get halfway across the water and you'll turn off the flashlight!"
Great contest!
Mesa I - 11/93 * Toledo - 9/96 * Chicago - 6/98 * St Louis - 7/98 * Indy - 8/98 * St Louis & San Diego - 10/00 * Mt View II - 10/01 * Irvine I & II, San Diego - 6/03 * Chicago I - 5/06 * San Diego & SF III - 7/06 * Lolla - 8/07 * EV Chicago - 8/08 * Chicago I & II - 8/09 * Kansas City & Indy - 5/10 * PJ20 X2 - 9/11 * Atlanta 9/12 * Wrigley Field 7/13 * Moline & Milwaukee 10/14 * Wrigley Field I & II 8/16 * Wrigley Field I & II 8/18 * Ohana Encore I & II 10/21 * EV & The Earthlings Chicago II 2/22
Won the lottery PJ20 Night 1 - Front Row in front of Jeff - Forever grateful to Ten Club
***I wanna live my life with the volume full***
Many moons ago, Pony and Eagle walked up to Coyote. Pony said to Coyote, "I am very mad at Eagle. Will you yell at him for me?" Coyote said to Pony, "Why can you not yell yourself?" And Pony replied, "Because I am a little horse." Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!
Anyone? Anyone?
1998-06-30 Minneapolis
2003-06-16 St. Paul
2006-06-26 St. Paul
2007-08-05 Chicago
2009-08-23 Chicago
2009-08-28 San Francisco
2010-05-01 NOLA (Jazz Fest)
2011-07-02 EV Minneapolis
2011-09-03 PJ20
2011-09-04 PJ20
2011-09-17 Winnipeg
2012-06-26 Amsterdam
2012-06-27 Amsterdam
2013-07-19 Wrigley
2013-11-21 San Diego
2013-11-23 Los Angeles
2013-11-24 Los Angeles
2014-07-08 Leeds, UK
2014-07-11 Milton Keynes, UK
2014-10-09 Lincoln
2014-10-19 St. Paul
2014-10-20 Milwaukee
2016-08-20 Wrigley 1
2016-08-22 Wrigley 2 2018-06-18 London 1 2018-08-18 Wrigley 1 2018-08-20 Wrigley 2 2022-09-16 Nashville 2023-08-31 St. Paul 2023-09-02 St. Paul 2023-09-05 Chicago 1
Sydney 11/02/2003
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
.... coming down to the wire folks ..... im going to make even more interesting ....
im going to pick the top 5 jokes ..ask for your addresses then send it out to ONE winner .... you wont know if you won till you open the box ..
I love it! This is a lot of fun - thanks again for doing this
www.RLMcDaniel.com
1996: Ft Lauderdale
1998: Birmingham
2000: Charlotte, Tampa
2003: Tampa, Atlanta, Phoenix
2004: Kissimmee
2008: West Palm Beach, Bonnaroo, Columbia
2010: MSG2
2012: Music Midtown
2014: Memphis
2016: Ft. Lauderdale, Miami, Jacksonville, JazzFest 2018: Wrigley 1, Fenway 1 2022: Nashville 2023: Ft. Worth II
A guy from Canada & a guy from USA are arguing about who can do things better.
The Canadian goes "We are better at hockey"
The American goes "We have better basketball players"
This goes on & on until the American says "We are better skydivers"
So they agree to have a contest.
So the American jumps out of the plane 1st. Pulls his cord & opens his chute no problems.
The Canadian jumps next. Pulls his cord but nothing happens. He pulls the emergency cord. Still nothing.
As the American is coasting down, the Canadian goes flying past him very fast.
The American looks down & says "So, you want to race?" And removed his parachute.
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”
Comments
James rrealizes that his friend Bob has an orange penis.
Confused and worried, James has been worried about Bob because Bobs girlfriend recently dumped him and he’s been holed up in his house for months doing nothing.
James asks, “Bob, everything ok man? I noticed you have an orange cock. I’m worried about you bro, what have you been doing since the girl dumped you?”
Bob replies, “Nothing man, I’m too depressed to go out really. I just sit around all day, every day watching TV, drinking beer, and eating cheetos.”
"Hey, I know, I'll shine this flashlight across the water and you can walk across on the beam!"
The other Creed fan responds:
"I'm not that stupid. I'll get halfway across the water and you'll turn off the flashlight!"
Great contest!
Won the lottery PJ20 Night 1 - Front Row in front of Jeff - Forever grateful to Ten Club
***I wanna live my life with the volume full***
Anyone? Anyone?
2003-06-16 St. Paul
2006-06-26 St. Paul
2007-08-05 Chicago
2009-08-23 Chicago
2009-08-28 San Francisco
2010-05-01 NOLA (Jazz Fest)
2011-07-02 EV Minneapolis
2011-09-03 PJ20
2011-09-04 PJ20
2011-09-17 Winnipeg
2012-06-26 Amsterdam
2012-06-27 Amsterdam
2013-07-19 Wrigley
2013-11-21 San Diego
2013-11-23 Los Angeles
2013-11-24 Los Angeles
2014-07-08 Leeds, UK
2014-07-11 Milton Keynes, UK
2014-10-09 Lincoln
2014-10-19 St. Paul
2014-10-20 Milwaukee
2016-08-20 Wrigley 1
2016-08-22 Wrigley 2
2018-06-18 London 1
2018-08-18 Wrigley 1
2018-08-20 Wrigley 2
2022-09-16 Nashville
2023-08-31 St. Paul
2023-09-02 St. Paul
2023-09-05 Chicago 1
http://www.strummersphotography.com
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http://seanbriceart.com/
KEEP THEM COMING
Dad: That's ok, just have the potatoes!
(
Thanks for the chance!
Fantastic competition!! :-)
Kermits fingers....
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
must lose something in translation...
http://seanbriceart.com/
Think Silence of the Lambs....
ew.
http://seanbriceart.com/
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
...same pharmacy. Same duck. Two weeks later.
The duck goes up to the pharmacist and asks for some condoms. The Pharmacist quips, "Do you want me to put them on your bill?"
The duck replies, "Hell NO! What, do you think I'm a dick?!"
-How does he smell?
-Awful!
really? i heard that shit in like....4th grade!
My Fave joke of all time but not to be topped
two fish swim into a wall.. one looks at the other and goes ...DAM!!
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It's an obscure number, you've probably never heard of it.
Thanks for the great contest.
-DMW
im going to pick the top 5 jokes ..ask for your addresses then send it out to ONE winner .... you wont know if you won till you open the box ..
Hmmm, what date does this contest end? :twisted:
PJ: 2011-09-03 2011-09-04
1996: Ft Lauderdale
1998: Birmingham
2000: Charlotte, Tampa
2003: Tampa, Atlanta, Phoenix
2004: Kissimmee
2008: West Palm Beach, Bonnaroo, Columbia
2010: MSG2
2012: Music Midtown
2014: Memphis
2018: Wrigley 1, Fenway 1
2022: Nashville
2023: Ft. Worth II
Enough to kill 2 and a half men!!!!!!!!!!!!
Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
The Canadian goes "We are better at hockey"
The American goes "We have better basketball players"
This goes on & on until the American says "We are better skydivers"
So they agree to have a contest.
So the American jumps out of the plane 1st. Pulls his cord & opens his chute no problems.
The Canadian jumps next. Pulls his cord but nothing happens. He pulls the emergency cord. Still nothing.
As the American is coasting down, the Canadian goes flying past him very fast.
The American looks down & says "So, you want to race?" And removed his parachute.
Nobody will run with me either.
Signed,
Sarah Palin
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”
Key Arena - Nov 05, 2000
Gorge Amphitheater - Sep 01, 2005, Jul 22,23, 2006
Key Arena - Sept 21,22, 2009
Alpine Valley - Sept 3, 4 2011
A: Drugs are much cheaper!
fade away...
I am at peace with my lust.....for Eddie.