Engagement Rings.

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  • fanch75
    fanch75 Posts: 3,734
    My fiance' and I went together looking at rings (before I popped the question) and she picked out the ring she wanted. And I got that exact ring....and she loves it! We each picked out our wedding rings, too...and again she got what she picked and I got what I picked. We're both thrilled with our rings.

    The danger to this method is if you have a high-maintenance woman that equates super-high-end to what she "deserves." You may end up spending more than you can afford. In that case, I will say that while I feel sorry for you, you know what you're getting before you say "I do" and don't expect her high maintenance tendencies to change.
    Do you remember Rock & Roll Radio?
  • TransplantedNewf
    TransplantedNewf Posts: 805
    It all depends on what she likes...and what you can afford. If $5000 puts you in debt, go lower. She'll understand, trust me. It's better to start a life together with a small(er) diamond and less debt than a huge rock and in the hole.
    <a href="http://www.last.fm/user/Krisdababe/?chartstyle=Krisdababe"><img src="http://imagegen.last.fm/Krisdababe/recenttracks/Krisdababe.gif&quot; border="0" /></a>

    "To is a preposition.
    Come is a verb"

  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    Get_Right wrote:
    you talking solitaire diamond engagement ring?
    5K is not a lot

    Maybe not in Manhattan. ;)

    What is "a lot" is kind of a personal thing.
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    know1 wrote:
    That's what I did. I asked her to marry me first, and then we went and bought the ring together. Of course, that's a good way to end up spending more than you intended :D

    ugh, I never want a ring (at least not a diamond. some other cheaper ring I probably wouldn't mind but I digress), but if I did get one it would mean SO MUCH MORE if he picked it out himself. To me it's supposed to be a gift, and being asked to pick out your own gift is just tacky. if a person wants to *marry* me I'm sure he'd know by then what my preferences are, and even if not, who cares, it's just a ring.

    Also, I forgot to add in my post above, engagement rings are incredibly tacky to me for a huge reason- MEN DON'T WEAR THEM. It's like sticking a "SOLD" sign on a woman. Gross.
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    fanch75 wrote:
    The danger to this method is if you have a high-maintenance woman that equates super-high-end to what she "deserves." You may end up spending more than you can afford.

    I think there is more "danger" in this than just spending more than you can afford...
  • fanch75
    fanch75 Posts: 3,734
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    I think there is more "danger" in this than just spending more than you can afford...

    I agree. The ring is just the tip of that deep iceburg.
    Do you remember Rock & Roll Radio?
  • Motown322
    Motown322 Posts: 465
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    I'm sure if your gf is any type of socially conscious person, she will appreciate not getting a ring.

    And I've got a GREAT oceanfront property to sell you in Omaha. :) If his soon-to-be wife was any sort of activist on this thing, I'm sure he'd already know about it and wouldn't be posting here about rings in the first place. So if he goes to her with that socially conscious rap, she'll be pissed.

    My advice is, take her with you to see what sort of ring she's into (don't have to buy the ring with her, just gauge the style/cut she likes)... get what you can afford. Going into debt on a ring is asinine... I dropped almost $4500 on a ring (I thought it was a bit much but the old lady picked it out and loves it so I figured I'd just drop the dough and shut my mouth).
  • know1
    know1 Posts: 6,801
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    ugh, I never want a ring (at least not a diamond. some other cheaper ring I probably wouldn't mind but I digress), but if I did get one it would mean SO MUCH MORE if he picked it out himself. To me it's supposed to be a gift, and being asked to pick out your own gift is just tacky. if a person wants to *marry* me I'm sure he'd know by then what my preferences are, and even if not, who cares, it's just a ring.

    Also, I forgot to add in my post above, engagement rings are incredibly tacky to me for a huge reason- MEN DON'T WEAR THEM. It's like sticking a "SOLD" sign on a woman. Gross.

    Lucky I wasn't asking you to marry me, then! She seems to like the fact she picked it out herself.
    The only people we should try to get even with...
    ...are those who've helped us.

    Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    fanch75 wrote:
    I agree. The ring is just the tip of that deep iceburg.

    honestly, I have no idea how women like that even get married in the first place. They must have equally shallow and annoying husbands.
  • fanch75
    fanch75 Posts: 3,734
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    honestly, I have no idea how women like that even get married in the first place. They must have equally shallow and annoying husbands.

    Usually, it's a case of the man trying trying trying, and then it's just never enough. Maximum effort met with nagging, complaining, & lack of respect. It's sad. I know some gentlemen in this situation.

    But back on topic, it's a personal thing. What works varies form couple to couple. Hopefully she'll appreciate a genuine effort because she loves you. I think it's a self-check if you're concerned about taking her with you to pick her ring.
    Do you remember Rock & Roll Radio?
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    honestly, I have no idea how women like that even get married in the first place. They must have equally shallow and annoying husbands.

    Well, honestly...in some circles the ring (the size, the cost, etc...) is as much of a status symbol for the man who buys it as it is for the woman who wears it. So the assholes just marry each other. ;)

    You always hear about how women are awful for demanding expensive rings....but there are a lot of dudes out there that feel the need to show off with the ring that they purchase.
  • Motown322
    Motown322 Posts: 465
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    but if I did get one it would mean SO MUCH MORE if he picked it out himself. To me it's supposed to be a gift, and being asked to pick out your own gift is just tacky.

    I looked at it like this: I don't know SHIT about jewelry/rings and didn't really care to learn. If I start grilling the GF about rings and what she likes/dislikes, she knows I'm looking anyway. Plus, if I get something that she doesn't like, she'll never tell me but she'll be stuck with a ring that she really doesn't care for all in the name of sparing my feelings. If I'm going to spend that kind of money on a gift for her, you'd better be damn sure that I'm going to make sure she likes it.

    If that's tacky, so be it.
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    Motown322 wrote:
    I looked at it like this: I don't know SHIT about jewelry/rings and didn't really care to learn. If I start grilling the GF about rings and what she likes/dislikes, she knows I'm looking anyway. Plus, if I get something that she doesn't like, she'll never tell me but she'll be stuck with a ring that she really doesn't care for all in the name of sparing my feelings. If I'm going to spend that kind of money on a gift for her, you'd better be damn sure that I'm going to make sure she likes it.

    If that's tacky, so be it.

    what is there to know though? look at her fingers and her ears and see if her other jewelery is silver or gold. if it's silver, get white gold or platnum. if it's gold, get yellow gold. if her other jewelery is big and flashy, get something big and flashy. if it's more subdued, get something more subdued. what else would you need to know? honestly I've looked through those fancy jewelery stores and they all look the same to me. I wouldn't know anymore than the guy. Who cares about cut and clarity and all that? if the ring is pretty, that's the one you get. I would think that a guy who was going to marry me would know that I like hand-crafted artisan jewelery and I don't like diamonds or engagement rings at all really, so I would hope that he either would a) not get a ring or b) get something non-traditional. I think those are pretty easy things to know about someone you've been with for a while.
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    Well, honestly...in some circles the ring (the size, the cost, etc...) is as much of a status symbol for the man who buys it as it is for the woman who wears it. So the assholes just marry each other. ;)

    You always hear about how women are awful for demanding expensive rings....but there are a lot of dudes out there that feel the need to show off with the ring that they purchase.

    I know a couple where the girl comes from a wealthy family and the guy is kind of struggling with student loans and whatnot. he won't propose until he's saved enough for a ring to impress both her and her family. he's just saving and saving like crazy, and then he's going to blow it all on a ring. it makes me sad. and it makes me more sad that they are holding back on where they want to be in their relationship all over some stupid ring.
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    what is there to know though? look at her fingers and her ears and see if her other jewelery is silver or gold. if it's silver, get white gold or platnum. if it's gold, get yellow gold. if her other jewelery is big and flashy, get something big and flashy. if it's more subdued, get something more subdued. what else would you need to know? honestly I've looked through those fancy jewelery stores and they all look the same to me. I wouldn't know anymore than the guy. Who cares about cut and clarity and all that? if the ring is pretty, that's the one you get.

    if i'm putting down a huge chunk of change for this trinket i'm gonna make damn sure she gets the ring she wants.... :)
  • HOOKER
    HOOKER Posts: 1,443
    macgyver06 wrote:
    5000 to much?

    i dont know what im doing


    pearl jam girls? any ideas

    Dont do it.
    Nice to know you.
  • know1
    know1 Posts: 6,801
    Motown322 wrote:
    I looked at it like this: I don't know SHIT about jewelry/rings and didn't really care to learn. If I start grilling the GF about rings and what she likes/dislikes, she knows I'm looking anyway. Plus, if I get something that she doesn't like, she'll never tell me but she'll be stuck with a ring that she really doesn't care for all in the name of sparing my feelings. If I'm going to spend that kind of money on a gift for her, you'd better be damn sure that I'm going to make sure she likes it.

    If that's tacky, so be it.

    Those were my sentiments.
    The only people we should try to get even with...
    ...are those who've helped us.

    Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
  • know1
    know1 Posts: 6,801
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    what is there to know though? look at her fingers and her ears and see if her other jewelery is silver or gold. if it's silver, get white gold or platnum. if it's gold, get yellow gold. if her other jewelery is big and flashy, get something big and flashy. if it's more subdued, get something more subdued. what else would you need to know? honestly I've looked through those fancy jewelery stores and they all look the same to me. I wouldn't know anymore than the guy. Who cares about cut and clarity and all that? if the ring is pretty, that's the one you get. I would think that a guy who was going to marry me would know that I like hand-crafted artisan jewelery and I don't like diamonds or engagement rings at all really, so I would hope that he either would a) not get a ring or b) get something non-traditional. I think those are pretty easy things to know about someone you've been with for a while.

    My fiance didn't wear a ring before the engagement. I did know that she likes silver, though.

    Also, she was more concerned with cut and clarity than she was about the carat size.
    The only people we should try to get even with...
    ...are those who've helped us.

    Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
  • TransplantedNewf
    TransplantedNewf Posts: 805
    cutback wrote:
    if i'm putting down a huge chunk of change for this trinket i'm gonna make damn sure she gets the ring she wants.... :)

    That was my husband's thought. He figured i have to wear it for the rest of my life so i'd better like it. We had looked at rings in the past so he knew what kind of rings i liked and which ones i thought were ugly.
    <a href="http://www.last.fm/user/Krisdababe/?chartstyle=Krisdababe"><img src="http://imagegen.last.fm/Krisdababe/recenttracks/Krisdababe.gif&quot; border="0" /></a>

    "To is a preposition.
    Come is a verb"

  • fanch75
    fanch75 Posts: 3,734
    bytchez styll ain't shyt
    Do you remember Rock & Roll Radio?

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