I think you should pick an amount that is reasonable for your budget and go out WITH HER to pick it out.
She has to wear it and it won't do anyone any good if you buy an expensive ring she doesn't like!
That's what I did. I asked her to marry me first, and then we went and bought the ring together. Of course, that's a good way to end up spending more than you intended
The only people we should try to get even with...
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
That's what I did. I asked her to marry me first, and then we went and bought the ring together. Of course, that's a good way to end up spending more than you intended
Yeah, but at least she was happy with it (and you!)
Before you buy the ring, do some research into what you are buying. Know the 4 C's (Cut, Carat, Clarity, Color) before you commit to buying. There are certain tradeoffs with each one. If you think your girl wants a big rock, then concern yourself mainly with cut and carat size. If she wants a better quality ring, you can go down on the carat size, but get better clarity and color. Rings that are good in clarity and color tend to look bigger than they are because they are better quality diamonds. For my wife's ring, I sacrificed a little on the carat size, but you really can't beat the clarity and color. You can see that ring sparkling across the room.
With regards to price, if you can afford it then it's not too expensive. It all depends on if you can justify spending that much money on the ring. If you're on a tighter budget, maybe buy a less expensive ring and the upgrade it later? Just make sure you know exactly what you're buying so that the jeweler isn't pulling a fast one on you buy trying to get you to buy an overpriced ring. Finally, my last and most important piece of advice is to get insurance on the ring. Insurance is usually $10 per $1000 the ring is worth and worth the investment imo.
Before you buy the ring, do some research into what you are buying. Know the 4 C's (Cut, Carat, Clarity, Color) before you commit to buying. There are certain tradeoffs with each one. If you think your girl wants a big rock, then concern yourself mainly with cut and carat size. If she wants a better quality ring, you can go down on the carat size, but get better clarity and color. Rings that are good in clarity and color tend to look bigger than they are because they are better quality diamonds. For my wife's ring, I sacrificed a little on the carat size, but you really can't beat the clarity and color. You can see that ring sparkling across the room.
With regards to price, if you can afford it then it's not too expensive. It all depends on if you can justify spending that much money on the ring. If you're on a tighter budget, maybe buy a less expensive ring and the upgrade it later? Just make sure you know exactly what you're buying so that the jeweler isn't pulling a fast one on you buy trying to get you to buy an overpriced ring. Finally, my last and most important piece of advice is to get insurance on the ring. Insurance is usually $10 per $1000 the ring is worth and worth the investment imo.
I would like to make a slight correction...Before you buy the ring, do some research into what you are getting yourself into!
no engagement ring. save it for nice wedding rings for both of you. engagement rings are meaningless- they were invented as a marketing campaign for debeers in the 1940s. Plus diamonds are a screwed up business. You never really know for sure where they are coming from or if anyone hands were chopped off in the process. They are overpriced bits of rock, and the people who mine them-the citizens of the countries that own this resource-are in extreme poverty even though the amount of wealth exploited from the resource is crazy. I'm sure if your gf is any type of socially conscious person, she will appreciate not getting a ring. Really, think about how much money it is too. is that really worth it? If you invest that $5000, think of what it get the two of you and any kids you might have in the future. I know people who don't even wear their engagement rings- they just sit in a box somewhere.
and 5,000 is way too much. my super nice watch wasn't even a fraction of that and it tells time. what does a ring do?
not if it's what you want to spend AND can afford it. overall, i would say how much you spend really is sooo unimportant to most women. it is what the ring symbolizes more than anything that matters. i know my husband and i went looking at rings together and what i had picked out was relatively inexpensive, and HE chose something 3X the price b/c he loved it and thought it would be wonderful....and it was/is....beautiful. not a traditional engagement ring either. however, exactly what i had wanted so it's all good.
know your future wife, her tastes and style.....and buy something beautiful and affordable. every woman wants a man who yes, knows her tastes and is willing to spurge a bit on her....but most importantly, aman with good sense who does not get himself in debt for something frivilous.
so girls dont like to compare their rings with their friends?
ha! maybe extremely SHALLOW girls who have extremely SHALLOW friends. like you know, the ones you can't believe anyone would even date in the first place.
My fiance' and I went together looking at rings (before I popped the question) and she picked out the ring she wanted. And I got that exact ring....and she loves it! We each picked out our wedding rings, too...and again she got what she picked and I got what I picked. We're both thrilled with our rings.
The danger to this method is if you have a high-maintenance woman that equates super-high-end to what she "deserves." You may end up spending more than you can afford. In that case, I will say that while I feel sorry for you, you know what you're getting before you say "I do" and don't expect her high maintenance tendencies to change.
It all depends on what she likes...and what you can afford. If $5000 puts you in debt, go lower. She'll understand, trust me. It's better to start a life together with a small(er) diamond and less debt than a huge rock and in the hole.
That's what I did. I asked her to marry me first, and then we went and bought the ring together. Of course, that's a good way to end up spending more than you intended
ugh, I never want a ring (at least not a diamond. some other cheaper ring I probably wouldn't mind but I digress), but if I did get one it would mean SO MUCH MORE if he picked it out himself. To me it's supposed to be a gift, and being asked to pick out your own gift is just tacky. if a person wants to *marry* me I'm sure he'd know by then what my preferences are, and even if not, who cares, it's just a ring.
Also, I forgot to add in my post above, engagement rings are incredibly tacky to me for a huge reason- MEN DON'T WEAR THEM. It's like sticking a "SOLD" sign on a woman. Gross.
The danger to this method is if you have a high-maintenance woman that equates super-high-end to what she "deserves." You may end up spending more than you can afford.
I think there is more "danger" in this than just spending more than you can afford...
I'm sure if your gf is any type of socially conscious person, she will appreciate not getting a ring.
And I've got a GREAT oceanfront property to sell you in Omaha. If his soon-to-be wife was any sort of activist on this thing, I'm sure he'd already know about it and wouldn't be posting here about rings in the first place. So if he goes to her with that socially conscious rap, she'll be pissed.
My advice is, take her with you to see what sort of ring she's into (don't have to buy the ring with her, just gauge the style/cut she likes)... get what you can afford. Going into debt on a ring is asinine... I dropped almost $4500 on a ring (I thought it was a bit much but the old lady picked it out and loves it so I figured I'd just drop the dough and shut my mouth).
ugh, I never want a ring (at least not a diamond. some other cheaper ring I probably wouldn't mind but I digress), but if I did get one it would mean SO MUCH MORE if he picked it out himself. To me it's supposed to be a gift, and being asked to pick out your own gift is just tacky. if a person wants to *marry* me I'm sure he'd know by then what my preferences are, and even if not, who cares, it's just a ring.
Also, I forgot to add in my post above, engagement rings are incredibly tacky to me for a huge reason- MEN DON'T WEAR THEM. It's like sticking a "SOLD" sign on a woman. Gross.
Lucky I wasn't asking you to marry me, then! She seems to like the fact she picked it out herself.
The only people we should try to get even with...
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
honestly, I have no idea how women like that even get married in the first place. They must have equally shallow and annoying husbands.
Usually, it's a case of the man trying trying trying, and then it's just never enough. Maximum effort met with nagging, complaining, & lack of respect. It's sad. I know some gentlemen in this situation.
But back on topic, it's a personal thing. What works varies form couple to couple. Hopefully she'll appreciate a genuine effort because she loves you. I think it's a self-check if you're concerned about taking her with you to pick her ring.
honestly, I have no idea how women like that even get married in the first place. They must have equally shallow and annoying husbands.
Well, honestly...in some circles the ring (the size, the cost, etc...) is as much of a status symbol for the man who buys it as it is for the woman who wears it. So the assholes just marry each other.
You always hear about how women are awful for demanding expensive rings....but there are a lot of dudes out there that feel the need to show off with the ring that they purchase.
but if I did get one it would mean SO MUCH MORE if he picked it out himself. To me it's supposed to be a gift, and being asked to pick out your own gift is just tacky.
I looked at it like this: I don't know SHIT about jewelry/rings and didn't really care to learn. If I start grilling the GF about rings and what she likes/dislikes, she knows I'm looking anyway. Plus, if I get something that she doesn't like, she'll never tell me but she'll be stuck with a ring that she really doesn't care for all in the name of sparing my feelings. If I'm going to spend that kind of money on a gift for her, you'd better be damn sure that I'm going to make sure she likes it.
I looked at it like this: I don't know SHIT about jewelry/rings and didn't really care to learn. If I start grilling the GF about rings and what she likes/dislikes, she knows I'm looking anyway. Plus, if I get something that she doesn't like, she'll never tell me but she'll be stuck with a ring that she really doesn't care for all in the name of sparing my feelings. If I'm going to spend that kind of money on a gift for her, you'd better be damn sure that I'm going to make sure she likes it.
If that's tacky, so be it.
what is there to know though? look at her fingers and her ears and see if her other jewelery is silver or gold. if it's silver, get white gold or platnum. if it's gold, get yellow gold. if her other jewelery is big and flashy, get something big and flashy. if it's more subdued, get something more subdued. what else would you need to know? honestly I've looked through those fancy jewelery stores and they all look the same to me. I wouldn't know anymore than the guy. Who cares about cut and clarity and all that? if the ring is pretty, that's the one you get. I would think that a guy who was going to marry me would know that I like hand-crafted artisan jewelery and I don't like diamonds or engagement rings at all really, so I would hope that he either would a) not get a ring or b) get something non-traditional. I think those are pretty easy things to know about someone you've been with for a while.
Well, honestly...in some circles the ring (the size, the cost, etc...) is as much of a status symbol for the man who buys it as it is for the woman who wears it. So the assholes just marry each other.
You always hear about how women are awful for demanding expensive rings....but there are a lot of dudes out there that feel the need to show off with the ring that they purchase.
I know a couple where the girl comes from a wealthy family and the guy is kind of struggling with student loans and whatnot. he won't propose until he's saved enough for a ring to impress both her and her family. he's just saving and saving like crazy, and then he's going to blow it all on a ring. it makes me sad. and it makes me more sad that they are holding back on where they want to be in their relationship all over some stupid ring.
what is there to know though? look at her fingers and her ears and see if her other jewelery is silver or gold. if it's silver, get white gold or platnum. if it's gold, get yellow gold. if her other jewelery is big and flashy, get something big and flashy. if it's more subdued, get something more subdued. what else would you need to know? honestly I've looked through those fancy jewelery stores and they all look the same to me. I wouldn't know anymore than the guy. Who cares about cut and clarity and all that? if the ring is pretty, that's the one you get.
if i'm putting down a huge chunk of change for this trinket i'm gonna make damn sure she gets the ring she wants....
I looked at it like this: I don't know SHIT about jewelry/rings and didn't really care to learn. If I start grilling the GF about rings and what she likes/dislikes, she knows I'm looking anyway. Plus, if I get something that she doesn't like, she'll never tell me but she'll be stuck with a ring that she really doesn't care for all in the name of sparing my feelings. If I'm going to spend that kind of money on a gift for her, you'd better be damn sure that I'm going to make sure she likes it.
If that's tacky, so be it.
Those were my sentiments.
The only people we should try to get even with...
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
what is there to know though? look at her fingers and her ears and see if her other jewelery is silver or gold. if it's silver, get white gold or platnum. if it's gold, get yellow gold. if her other jewelery is big and flashy, get something big and flashy. if it's more subdued, get something more subdued. what else would you need to know? honestly I've looked through those fancy jewelery stores and they all look the same to me. I wouldn't know anymore than the guy. Who cares about cut and clarity and all that? if the ring is pretty, that's the one you get. I would think that a guy who was going to marry me would know that I like hand-crafted artisan jewelery and I don't like diamonds or engagement rings at all really, so I would hope that he either would a) not get a ring or b) get something non-traditional. I think those are pretty easy things to know about someone you've been with for a while.
My fiance didn't wear a ring before the engagement. I did know that she likes silver, though.
Also, she was more concerned with cut and clarity than she was about the carat size.
The only people we should try to get even with...
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
if i'm putting down a huge chunk of change for this trinket i'm gonna make damn sure she gets the ring she wants....
That was my husband's thought. He figured i have to wear it for the rest of my life so i'd better like it. We had looked at rings in the past so he knew what kind of rings i liked and which ones i thought were ugly.
Comments
That's what I did. I asked her to marry me first, and then we went and bought the ring together. Of course, that's a good way to end up spending more than you intended
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
Yeah, but at least she was happy with it (and you!)
With regards to price, if you can afford it then it's not too expensive. It all depends on if you can justify spending that much money on the ring. If you're on a tighter budget, maybe buy a less expensive ring and the upgrade it later? Just make sure you know exactly what you're buying so that the jeweler isn't pulling a fast one on you buy trying to get you to buy an overpriced ring. Finally, my last and most important piece of advice is to get insurance on the ring. Insurance is usually $10 per $1000 the ring is worth and worth the investment imo.
I would like to make a slight correction...Before you buy the ring, do some research into what you are getting yourself into!
well, I'm sure if he's in the process of buying the ring, he's already weighed the pros and cons of what he's about to do....
I was merely trying to make him a better consumer
Oh, ok... I apologize...
Sometimes my disillusionment of the fine institution of marriage makes it into a message board posting.
no engagement ring. save it for nice wedding rings for both of you. engagement rings are meaningless- they were invented as a marketing campaign for debeers in the 1940s. Plus diamonds are a screwed up business. You never really know for sure where they are coming from or if anyone hands were chopped off in the process. They are overpriced bits of rock, and the people who mine them-the citizens of the countries that own this resource-are in extreme poverty even though the amount of wealth exploited from the resource is crazy. I'm sure if your gf is any type of socially conscious person, she will appreciate not getting a ring. Really, think about how much money it is too. is that really worth it? If you invest that $5000, think of what it get the two of you and any kids you might have in the future. I know people who don't even wear their engagement rings- they just sit in a box somewhere.
and 5,000 is way too much. my super nice watch wasn't even a fraction of that and it tells time. what does a ring do?
not if it's what you want to spend AND can afford it. overall, i would say how much you spend really is sooo unimportant to most women. it is what the ring symbolizes more than anything that matters.
know your future wife, her tastes and style.....and buy something beautiful and affordable. every woman wants a man who yes, knows her tastes and is willing to spurge a bit on her....but most importantly, aman with good sense who does not get himself in debt for something frivilous.
good luck and congratulations!
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
ha! maybe extremely SHALLOW girls who have extremely SHALLOW friends. like you know, the ones you can't believe anyone would even date in the first place.
5K is not a lot
The danger to this method is if you have a high-maintenance woman that equates super-high-end to what she "deserves." You may end up spending more than you can afford. In that case, I will say that while I feel sorry for you, you know what you're getting before you say "I do" and don't expect her high maintenance tendencies to change.
"To is a preposition.
Come is a verb"
Maybe not in Manhattan.
What is "a lot" is kind of a personal thing.
ugh, I never want a ring (at least not a diamond. some other cheaper ring I probably wouldn't mind but I digress), but if I did get one it would mean SO MUCH MORE if he picked it out himself. To me it's supposed to be a gift, and being asked to pick out your own gift is just tacky. if a person wants to *marry* me I'm sure he'd know by then what my preferences are, and even if not, who cares, it's just a ring.
Also, I forgot to add in my post above, engagement rings are incredibly tacky to me for a huge reason- MEN DON'T WEAR THEM. It's like sticking a "SOLD" sign on a woman. Gross.
I think there is more "danger" in this than just spending more than you can afford...
I agree. The ring is just the tip of that deep iceburg.
And I've got a GREAT oceanfront property to sell you in Omaha.
My advice is, take her with you to see what sort of ring she's into (don't have to buy the ring with her, just gauge the style/cut she likes)... get what you can afford. Going into debt on a ring is asinine... I dropped almost $4500 on a ring (I thought it was a bit much but the old lady picked it out and loves it so I figured I'd just drop the dough and shut my mouth).
Lucky I wasn't asking you to marry me, then! She seems to like the fact she picked it out herself.
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
honestly, I have no idea how women like that even get married in the first place. They must have equally shallow and annoying husbands.
Usually, it's a case of the man trying trying trying, and then it's just never enough. Maximum effort met with nagging, complaining, & lack of respect. It's sad. I know some gentlemen in this situation.
But back on topic, it's a personal thing. What works varies form couple to couple. Hopefully she'll appreciate a genuine effort because she loves you. I think it's a self-check if you're concerned about taking her with you to pick her ring.
Well, honestly...in some circles the ring (the size, the cost, etc...) is as much of a status symbol for the man who buys it as it is for the woman who wears it. So the assholes just marry each other.
You always hear about how women are awful for demanding expensive rings....but there are a lot of dudes out there that feel the need to show off with the ring that they purchase.
I looked at it like this: I don't know SHIT about jewelry/rings and didn't really care to learn. If I start grilling the GF about rings and what she likes/dislikes, she knows I'm looking anyway. Plus, if I get something that she doesn't like, she'll never tell me but she'll be stuck with a ring that she really doesn't care for all in the name of sparing my feelings. If I'm going to spend that kind of money on a gift for her, you'd better be damn sure that I'm going to make sure she likes it.
If that's tacky, so be it.
what is there to know though? look at her fingers and her ears and see if her other jewelery is silver or gold. if it's silver, get white gold or platnum. if it's gold, get yellow gold. if her other jewelery is big and flashy, get something big and flashy. if it's more subdued, get something more subdued. what else would you need to know? honestly I've looked through those fancy jewelery stores and they all look the same to me. I wouldn't know anymore than the guy. Who cares about cut and clarity and all that? if the ring is pretty, that's the one you get. I would think that a guy who was going to marry me would know that I like hand-crafted artisan jewelery and I don't like diamonds or engagement rings at all really, so I would hope that he either would a) not get a ring or b) get something non-traditional. I think those are pretty easy things to know about someone you've been with for a while.
I know a couple where the girl comes from a wealthy family and the guy is kind of struggling with student loans and whatnot. he won't propose until he's saved enough for a ring to impress both her and her family. he's just saving and saving like crazy, and then he's going to blow it all on a ring. it makes me sad. and it makes me more sad that they are holding back on where they want to be in their relationship all over some stupid ring.
if i'm putting down a huge chunk of change for this trinket i'm gonna make damn sure she gets the ring she wants....
Dont do it.
Those were my sentiments.
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
My fiance didn't wear a ring before the engagement. I did know that she likes silver, though.
Also, she was more concerned with cut and clarity than she was about the carat size.
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
That was my husband's thought. He figured i have to wear it for the rest of my life so i'd better like it. We had looked at rings in the past so he knew what kind of rings i liked and which ones i thought were ugly.
"To is a preposition.
Come is a verb"