Need Relationship/Female Advice!!!!

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  • AllNiteThing
    AllNiteThing Posts: 1,115
    cutback wrote:
    i have to ask and maybe i missed it...but she just broke with the bf and you try to "go for the kill" so to speak?....i think you should have "been there" for her and let the friendship you have develop into a more romantic situation....:)


    Yeah, I hear you. It's been boiling away inside me since I met her though, and I felt the need to say something. I even told her it's probably not great timing on my part because of what she's going through. Some friends told me to just wait it out and let it happen. We'll see. Maybe it's selfish, but I'm just happy I let it out. There's no heavier burden than unspoken regrets.
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young
  • edvedder913
    edvedder913 Posts: 1,810
    AllNiteThing wrote:
    Haha now you're talking. :) Thank's a lot, you PJ girls are the best! ;)


    based upon all the props you are getting on here you seem highly marketable ;) so hopefully you can find some nice girl who is not hung up on another guy :) good luck!
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    AllNiteThing wrote:
    Yeah, I hear you. It's been boiling away inside me since I met her though, and I felt the need to say something. I even told her it's probably not great timing on my part because of what she's going through. Some friends told me to just wait it out and let it happen. We'll see. Maybe it's selfish, but I'm just happy I let it out. There's no heavier burden than unspoken regrets.


    gotcha....maybe as time passes she will come around and realize she's into you :)
  • thunderDAN
    thunderDAN Posts: 2,094
    AllNiteThing wrote:
    So I take it all of that chivalrous crap about wooing a girl and winning them over is all Hollywood bullshit? :confused:

    I don't want to speak for all girls, but I think that this girl we are speaking of only wants to be wooed by her ex boyfriend.

    Upon thinking about how my situation relates to yours, I feel that I have alot in common with the girl causing you troubles. I was so caught up on this one girl that dumped me that for 3 years I wasn't able to move on. It wasn't that she was that great or anything, but the fact that she dumped me and wouldn't give me the time of day really bothered me and made me like her more. I knew she was bad for me, I knew things wouldn't work out, but I couldn't get it out of my mind. I met other women, but I would never let myself enter into a relationship in hopes that things might work out with the other girl I wanted. I screwed up 3 prime years of my early life (I'm 24 now), I screwed up my last years of college, everything..all because I was holding out for something that I only wanted because I couldn't have it.

    I say I relate to this girl because I shared the same self esteem issues. I had never been turned down by anyone I asked out or had never been dumped before till this girl. Once it happened I was like 'whats wrong with me that she doesn't want to be with me' ---I think that girl is sharing those same feelings with her relationship with her ex boyfriend. I don't think she is able to turn the page. She confides in you because you guys hit it off, and under normal circumstances things could probably blossom into something more- but these situations aren't normal. She is clinging to anything to gain the attention of her ex because getting his attention will make her feel better about herself.


    I'm no expert, but it just sounds awful familiar. Don't hold yourself back man because of this girl. Actually, to be honest, I think you would make more headway with this girl if you started dating other girls. Don't date them for that sole reason though because it sounds like until this girl gets comfortable with herself, she will never give you what you want in terms of a relationship
  • AmentsChick
    AmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    edvedder913 wrote:
    based upon all the props you are getting on here you seem highly marketable ;) so hopefully you can find some nice girl who is not hung up on another guy :) good luck!


    Indeed. psst...don't tell AllNiteThing this, but if I lived in the same time zone as him, I'd totally be interested.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • PJaddicted
    PJaddicted Posts: 1,432
    AmentsChick wrote:
    Indeed. psst...don't tell AllNiteThing this, but if I lived in the same time zone as him, I'd totally be interested.

    If I wasn't old enough to be his mom....ME TOO! ;)

    oxc
    ~*LIVE~LOVE~LAUGH*~

    *May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*

    He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
    — Unknown
  • edvedder913
    edvedder913 Posts: 1,810
    AmentsChick wrote:
    Indeed. psst...don't tell AllNiteThing this, but if I lived in the same time zone as him, I'd totally be interested.


    this thread is usless without pics ;)
  • rwmartin71
    rwmartin71 Posts: 24
    Dude, listen to me... RUN!
  • AllNiteThing
    AllNiteThing Posts: 1,115
    thunderDAN wrote:


    I'm no expert, but it just sounds awful familiar. Don't hold yourself back man because of this girl. Actually, to be honest, I think you would make more headway with this girl if you started dating other girls. Don't date them for that sole reason though because it sounds like until this girl gets comfortable with herself, she will never give you what you want in terms of a relationship

    Yeah, I'm definitely with you there. I've even told her that in a way. She's said how she doesn't want to be alone and all that and I told her that she needs to be happy with herself and not NEED someone else, otherwise you're just looking for someone to fill the void rather than finding a partner who you're really into for themselves.

    I've thought about the dating other girls thing working, and that is a really good point. Of course the downside is I couldn't do that unless I really like the other girl, and by then that whole scenario is out the door anyways. G-D it all to hell, why does trying to find happiness with someone else require so much stress?
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young
  • AllNiteThing
    AllNiteThing Posts: 1,115
    PJaddicted wrote:
    If I wasn't old enough to be his mom....ME TOO! ;)

    oxc

    Mmmm cougars. :D
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young
  • AllNiteThing
    AllNiteThing Posts: 1,115
    AmentsChick wrote:
    Indeed. psst...don't tell AllNiteThing this, but if I lived in the same time zone as him, I'd totally be interested.


    Aww. ;) We do have the PJ and Lost obsessions down! :D
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young
  • AllNiteThing
    AllNiteThing Posts: 1,115
    rwmartin71 wrote:
    Dude, listen to me... RUN!


    Dude, that doesn't help much. :)
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young
  • edvedder913
    edvedder913 Posts: 1,810
    I forgot to mention.....

    I really give you kudos for fessing up about how you feel. Something I can never bring myself to do, certainly not one of my strong points.
  • PJaddicted
    PJaddicted Posts: 1,432
    AllNiteThing wrote:
    Mmmm cougars. :D

    :p
    ~*LIVE~LOVE~LAUGH*~

    *May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*

    He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
    — Unknown
  • AllNiteThing
    AllNiteThing Posts: 1,115
    edvedder913 wrote:
    I forgot to mention.....

    I really give you kudos for fessing up about how you feel. Something I can never bring myself to do, certainly not one of my strong points.


    You have no idea. Probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do, aside from breaking up with my last girlfriend. Laying your feelings out to someone point blank to their face is a scary thing to think about, no less execute it the way you want. You go through it over and over in your head, but it never quite comes out the way you want it to. It's easy just to let it go, let time take care of it, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

    Thanks too. :)
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young
  • Zoso
    Zoso Posts: 6,425
    I know somone in this situation sort of anyway..

    This reminds me of when jerry and elaine waited out a marriage to 'be there for them' when they just wanted to date them hehe.
    I'm just flying around the other side of the world to say I love you

    Sha la la la i'm in love with a jersey girl

    I love you forever and forever :)

    Adel 03 Melb 1 03 LA 2 06 Santa Barbara 06 Gorge 1 06 Gorge 2 06 Adel 1 06 Adel 2 06 Camden 1 08 Camden 2 08 Washington DC 08 Hartford 08
  • Zoso
    Zoso Posts: 6,425
    I guess you gotta ask yourself: Do you want to lose her as a great friend if you really wanna push this relationship thing further at the chance of losing everything?
    I'm just flying around the other side of the world to say I love you

    Sha la la la i'm in love with a jersey girl

    I love you forever and forever :)

    Adel 03 Melb 1 03 LA 2 06 Santa Barbara 06 Gorge 1 06 Gorge 2 06 Adel 1 06 Adel 2 06 Camden 1 08 Camden 2 08 Washington DC 08 Hartford 08
  • AllNiteThing
    AllNiteThing Posts: 1,115
    Zoso wrote:
    I guess you gotta ask yourself: Do you want to lose her as a great friend if you really wanna push this relationship thing further at the chance of losing everything?


    Absolutely not. In the short time I've known her, she's already become one of my closest friends.

    The weird thing about this, now that I've had a day to absorb the 'shock' so to speak, I feel great. Not only was it so liberating to get that weight off my chest, but I forgot what it was like to really 'feel'. Even though it is painful in a way, I haven't gone through this gamut of emotions in a while and it really makes me feel alive. Sick to say maybe, but this mild hurt is comforting.
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young
  • AmentsChick
    AmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    AllNiteThing wrote:
    Absolutely not. In the short time I've known her, she's already become one of my closest friends.

    The weird thing about this, now that I've had a day to absorb the 'shock' so to speak, I feel great. Not only was it so liberating to get that weight off my chest, but I forgot what it was like to really 'feel'. Even though it is painful in a way, I haven't gone through this gamut of emotions in a while and it really makes me feel alive. Sick to say maybe, but this mild hurt is comforting.

    I could've kicked you in the shins if that would've helped.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • AllNiteThing
    AllNiteThing Posts: 1,115
    AmentsChick wrote:
    I could've kicked you in the shins if that would've helped.


    Ow! :D I feel! I feel!
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young

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