Need Relationship/Female Advice!!!!

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Comments

  • AllNiteThingAllNiteThing Posts: 1,115
    Indeed. psst...don't tell AllNiteThing this, but if I lived in the same time zone as him, I'd totally be interested.


    Aww. ;) We do have the PJ and Lost obsessions down! :D
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young
  • AllNiteThingAllNiteThing Posts: 1,115
    rwmartin71 wrote:
    Dude, listen to me... RUN!


    Dude, that doesn't help much. :)
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young
  • edvedder913edvedder913 Posts: 1,810
    I forgot to mention.....

    I really give you kudos for fessing up about how you feel. Something I can never bring myself to do, certainly not one of my strong points.
  • PJaddictedPJaddicted Posts: 1,432
    Mmmm cougars. :D

    :p
    ~*LIVE~LOVE~LAUGH*~

    *May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*

    He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
    — Unknown
  • AllNiteThingAllNiteThing Posts: 1,115
    I forgot to mention.....

    I really give you kudos for fessing up about how you feel. Something I can never bring myself to do, certainly not one of my strong points.


    You have no idea. Probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do, aside from breaking up with my last girlfriend. Laying your feelings out to someone point blank to their face is a scary thing to think about, no less execute it the way you want. You go through it over and over in your head, but it never quite comes out the way you want it to. It's easy just to let it go, let time take care of it, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

    Thanks too. :)
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young
  • ZosoZoso Posts: 6,425
    I know somone in this situation sort of anyway..

    This reminds me of when jerry and elaine waited out a marriage to 'be there for them' when they just wanted to date them hehe.
    I'm just flying around the other side of the world to say I love you

    Sha la la la i'm in love with a jersey girl

    I love you forever and forever :)

    Adel 03 Melb 1 03 LA 2 06 Santa Barbara 06 Gorge 1 06 Gorge 2 06 Adel 1 06 Adel 2 06 Camden 1 08 Camden 2 08 Washington DC 08 Hartford 08
  • ZosoZoso Posts: 6,425
    I guess you gotta ask yourself: Do you want to lose her as a great friend if you really wanna push this relationship thing further at the chance of losing everything?
    I'm just flying around the other side of the world to say I love you

    Sha la la la i'm in love with a jersey girl

    I love you forever and forever :)

    Adel 03 Melb 1 03 LA 2 06 Santa Barbara 06 Gorge 1 06 Gorge 2 06 Adel 1 06 Adel 2 06 Camden 1 08 Camden 2 08 Washington DC 08 Hartford 08
  • AllNiteThingAllNiteThing Posts: 1,115
    Zoso wrote:
    I guess you gotta ask yourself: Do you want to lose her as a great friend if you really wanna push this relationship thing further at the chance of losing everything?


    Absolutely not. In the short time I've known her, she's already become one of my closest friends.

    The weird thing about this, now that I've had a day to absorb the 'shock' so to speak, I feel great. Not only was it so liberating to get that weight off my chest, but I forgot what it was like to really 'feel'. Even though it is painful in a way, I haven't gone through this gamut of emotions in a while and it really makes me feel alive. Sick to say maybe, but this mild hurt is comforting.
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    Absolutely not. In the short time I've known her, she's already become one of my closest friends.

    The weird thing about this, now that I've had a day to absorb the 'shock' so to speak, I feel great. Not only was it so liberating to get that weight off my chest, but I forgot what it was like to really 'feel'. Even though it is painful in a way, I haven't gone through this gamut of emotions in a while and it really makes me feel alive. Sick to say maybe, but this mild hurt is comforting.

    I could've kicked you in the shins if that would've helped.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • AllNiteThingAllNiteThing Posts: 1,115
    I could've kicked you in the shins if that would've helped.


    Ow! :D I feel! I feel!
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young
  • Heineken HelenHeineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    Jeremy1012 wrote:
    Fact is, and no offence to Helen or the other women here :), trying to find rationality in a woman soon after a break up is not always easy. I'm not saying it's the case for all women, that's just sexist and stupid but in my experience, whatever you think is the situation is probably totally different to her take on it.
    None taken, and same goes for men... that's why things didn't work with my ex, he wasn't over HIS ex yet.

    And that was one of the first things I said to the OP, that it was his only mistake, saying it to her so soon after the break up... NEVER a good idea.
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • Heineken HelenHeineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    Awesome advice man...much appreciated. I agree with all of that too, and kind of knew it already. I know she's kind of being clingy with me, definitely more than just a 'casual male friend' and that it's because of the ex bf and her esteem issues. I guess I just needed to get it out on the table for myself more than anything. I'm definitely going to back off, play it cool and not push it anymore. We'll see what happens. At least she knows, which is better than playing games.
    Absolutely :o and this sounds hard but when you've just broken up with somebody, you really don't care about anyone else... you do what's good for YOU. Your friends might be telling you to go out and get laid or you might fall into the arms of the first sympathetic guy who lends an ear :o .
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • Heineken HelenHeineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    So I take it all of that chivalrous crap about wooing a girl and winning them over is all Hollywood bullshit? :confused:
    Nope... if you're going for 17/18 year old girls, yep, it's bullshit. But if you want someone your own age, at that age women have gone through all the bullshit lying and game playing and generally want something straightforward. I like chivalry for what it's worth... and so do plenty of my friends. It depends on how much self esteem you have. I used to have low self esteem and kinda felt like I wasn't worthy of being treated special... but now I'm pretty big headed :D and know that's exactly what I deserve :) but it's also worth it for him ;)
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • AllNiteThingAllNiteThing Posts: 1,115
    Nope... if you're going for 17/18 year old girls, yep, it's bullshit. But if you want someone your own age, at that age women have gone through all the bullshit lying and game playing and generally want something straightforward. I like chivalry for what it's worth... and so do plenty of my friends. It depends on how much self esteem you have. I used to have low self esteem and kinda felt like I wasn't worthy of being treated special... but now I'm pretty big headed :D and know that's exactly what I deserve :) but it's also worth it for him ;)


    Good to hear some women like a guy who treats them right. :) You're spot on about the self worth thing too, I definitely see that in a lot of women for some reason, especially the ones who get into the wrong kinds of relationships.

    We're going to see Indy tonite, so hopefully it's not too awkward! :o
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young
  • Heineken HelenHeineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    Good to hear some women like a guy who treats them right. :) You're spot on about the self worth thing too, I definitely see that in a lot of women for some reason, especially the ones who get into the wrong kinds of relationships.

    We're going to see Indy tonite, so hopefully it's not too awkward! :o
    I don't understand it... I know a lot of young people have that problem, cos you still care way too much about what people think about you... but I'm glad I grew out of it. It took a while though to be able to accept compliments and stuff... but now I've NOOOOOO problems whatsoever :D . Even when I wasn't so big into chivalry, I still appreciated any attempts at it though. And you're right about the wrong kinds of relationships. I also used to go for the 'assholes' but I think that was cos I wanted excitement in my life and some of the socalled 'nice guys' seemed a little dull... but I soon learned otherwise... that you don't have to get hurt in order to have some excitement.


    Ooohh Indy :) I'm looking forward to seeing that. The fact that you two are going though says lots. Just relax and be how you always are with her.
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • AllNiteThingAllNiteThing Posts: 1,115
    I don't understand it... I know a lot of young people have that problem, cos you still care way too much about what people think about you... but I'm glad I grew out of it. It took a while though to be able to accept compliments and stuff... but now I've NOOOOOO problems whatsoever :D . Even when I wasn't so big into chivalry, I still appreciated any attempts at it though. And you're right about the wrong kinds of relationships. I also used to go for the 'assholes' but I think that was cos I wanted excitement in my life and some of the socalled 'nice guys' seemed a little dull... but I soon learned otherwise... that you don't have to get hurt in order to have some excitement.


    Ooohh Indy :) I'm looking forward to seeing that. The fact that you two are going though says lots. Just relax and be how you always are with her.


    Thanks Helen, you've helped a lot. :cool: Also, I'm really glad to hear you've found someone you're happy with! :)
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young
  • Heineken HelenHeineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    Thanks Helen, you've helped a lot. :cool: Also, I'm really glad to hear you've found someone you're happy with! :)
    thank you :) and ya know in a couple of months you'll be able to look back on this and laugh at how you two got together... or because you're with somebody way better than this girl :) (although in fairness she doesn't sound like a bitch). And again congrats for biting the bullet :)
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • thunderDANthunderDAN Posts: 2,094
    We're going to see Indy tonite, so hopefully it's not too awkward! :o

    here is what you do...deflect any awkwardness that might exist between you 2 because of what you told her by wearing this outfit to the movie. It will cut any tension

    http://www.halloweencostumes4u.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=hal&Product_Code=rub888673
  • AllNiteThingAllNiteThing Posts: 1,115
    thunderDAN wrote:
    here is what you do...deflect any awkwardness that might exist between you 2 because of what you told her by wearing this outfit to the movie. It will cut any tension

    http://www.halloweencostumes4u.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=hal&Product_Code=rub888673


    Hahaha nice. We actually talked about dressing up. I told her to be the alligator from the end of Temple of Doom. Maybe I'll be Short Round. 'Feels like I step on fortune cookie!'
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    thunderDAN wrote:
    here is what you do...deflect any awkwardness that might exist between you 2 because of what you told her by wearing this outfit to the movie. It will cut any tension

    http://www.halloweencostumes4u.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=hal&Product_Code=rub888673

    That's hot.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • nothingman44nothingman44 Posts: 1,495
    bitches are crazy like that....
  • Heineken HelenHeineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    so how was the film? :)
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • AllNiteThingAllNiteThing Posts: 1,115
    so how was the film? :)


    Ehh...a little disappointed in the film. We had a good time talking before the movie though, so no real awkwardness or anything.

    We both went out of town this weekend, and of course she was texting me randomly the whole time to say hi, tell me what she was up to, etc. Must not read anything into this...must not read anything into this...must not..... :D
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young
  • Heineken HelenHeineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    Ehh...a little disappointed in the film. We had a good time talking before the movie though, so no real awkwardness or anything.

    We both went out of town this weekend, and of course she was texting me randomly the whole time to say hi, tell me what she was up to, etc. Must not read anything into this...must not read anything into this...must not..... :D
    Stop it :p *slaps AllNiteThing across the face* :D
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • AllNiteThingAllNiteThing Posts: 1,115
    Stop it :p *slaps AllNiteThing across the face* :D


    lol thanks. :) Almost lost it there....
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young
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