That's good . You seem to be on top of this without our advice . I can imagine how you're feeling right now... but it's better now than in ten years posting a thread about how she emailed you out of the blue and asking us if you should propose to her
haha! Nice one. :cool: I love cross-thread references.
24 years old, mid-life crisis
nowadays hits you when you're young
I was in a similar situation once but it was actually more sexual, but I'll give you some advice for what I think might be going on and hopefully it turns out better for you than it did for me..
I really think that women seek attachment elsewhere when they arn't getting it from the person they seek it from. It sounds like with all her griping about her ex that deep down she knows he is no good for her, but she still wants it because it has been evading her. This might explain why she has self esteem issues. She gets bummed about her ex not paying attention to her, and not having emotion towards her and she isn't able to move on from it. Now I know you don't want to hear this because I was in the same boat you were in- but she is using you for the emotional aspects she doesn't get from her ex and she is trying to fill that void through you. Now I know that sucks that she says you guys are 'just friends' because you both know you arn't, but she isn't comfortable with herself because of the situation her BF put her in which limits her ability to move on. By her telling you things and complimenting you she is indeed flirting, but I think its just for attention. Women want the guys that don't pay attention to them to pay attention to them, and the guys that do pay attention to them they take for granted. I just think she is keeping herself ready hoping he will comeback to her, and that by dating you she loses that chance and your friendship that is more than a normal friendship
I don't know, see I did the wrong thing when I was in this situation- I was unable to look outside the situation and get away from my feelings I had for a girl and it screwed everything up. I would suggest playing it cool and just doing your best to still talk and all that because she knows your feelings now, so if something happens it happens.
Good luck to you though
Awesome advice man...much appreciated. I agree with all of that too, and kind of knew it already. I know she's kind of being clingy with me, definitely more than just a 'casual male friend' and that it's because of the ex bf and her esteem issues. I guess I just needed to get it out on the table for myself more than anything. I'm definitely going to back off, play it cool and not push it anymore. We'll see what happens. At least she knows, which is better than playing games.
24 years old, mid-life crisis
nowadays hits you when you're young
I think it's ALWAYS a good thing to tell someone that you like them (well, if they're not married, otherwise that could get messy). I have a friend who was crazy about a girl and never ever ever told her, despite the advice from all of his friends.
And, for the record, this chick is NUTS if she doesn't go for you. You're honestly one of the funniest, most down-to-earth guys I know, plus you're cute!
Awwww
Thanks, but I'm starting to realize I need to be more of an asshole!
24 years old, mid-life crisis
nowadays hits you when you're young
I think the 'nice' guys just seem to go for the bitches, and not the nice girls who appreciate that crap
I don't why they go for the bitches (I personally don't), but hey i'm no dating expert...
Reading 2004
Albany 2006 Camden 2006 E. Rutherford 2, 2006 Inglewood 2006,
Chicago 2007
Camden 2008 MSG 2008 MSG 2008 Hartford 2008.
Seattle 2009 Seattle 2009 Philadelphia 2009,Philadelphia 2009 Philadelphia 2009
Hartford 2010 MSG 2010 MSG 2010
Toronto 2011,Toronto 2011
Wrigley Field 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Philadelphia 2, 2013
Philadelphia 1, 2016 Philadelphia 2 2016 New York 2016 New York 2016 Fenway 1, 2016 Fenway 2, 2018 MSG 2022 St. Paul, 1, St. Paul 2 2023 MSG 2024, MSG 2024 Philadelphia 2024
"I play good, hard-nosed basketball.
Things happen in the game. Nothing you
can do. I don't go and say,
"I'm gonna beat this guy up."
well if we all were, we'd be chatting with significant others instead of being on here..
Reading 2004
Albany 2006 Camden 2006 E. Rutherford 2, 2006 Inglewood 2006,
Chicago 2007
Camden 2008 MSG 2008 MSG 2008 Hartford 2008.
Seattle 2009 Seattle 2009 Philadelphia 2009,Philadelphia 2009 Philadelphia 2009
Hartford 2010 MSG 2010 MSG 2010
Toronto 2011,Toronto 2011
Wrigley Field 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Philadelphia 2, 2013
Philadelphia 1, 2016 Philadelphia 2 2016 New York 2016 New York 2016 Fenway 1, 2016 Fenway 2, 2018 MSG 2022 St. Paul, 1, St. Paul 2 2023 MSG 2024, MSG 2024 Philadelphia 2024
"I play good, hard-nosed basketball.
Things happen in the game. Nothing you
can do. I don't go and say,
"I'm gonna beat this guy up."
Reading 2004
Albany 2006 Camden 2006 E. Rutherford 2, 2006 Inglewood 2006,
Chicago 2007
Camden 2008 MSG 2008 MSG 2008 Hartford 2008.
Seattle 2009 Seattle 2009 Philadelphia 2009,Philadelphia 2009 Philadelphia 2009
Hartford 2010 MSG 2010 MSG 2010
Toronto 2011,Toronto 2011
Wrigley Field 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Philadelphia 2, 2013
Philadelphia 1, 2016 Philadelphia 2 2016 New York 2016 New York 2016 Fenway 1, 2016 Fenway 2, 2018 MSG 2022 St. Paul, 1, St. Paul 2 2023 MSG 2024, MSG 2024 Philadelphia 2024
"I play good, hard-nosed basketball.
Things happen in the game. Nothing you
can do. I don't go and say,
"I'm gonna beat this guy up."
for some reason, i totally knew you were going to say that! lol....
hey, there are tons of married people on here too. shitloads going through a divorce though
whatever. it's all good. i like this place.
I'm that predictable?
Reading 2004
Albany 2006 Camden 2006 E. Rutherford 2, 2006 Inglewood 2006,
Chicago 2007
Camden 2008 MSG 2008 MSG 2008 Hartford 2008.
Seattle 2009 Seattle 2009 Philadelphia 2009,Philadelphia 2009 Philadelphia 2009
Hartford 2010 MSG 2010 MSG 2010
Toronto 2011,Toronto 2011
Wrigley Field 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Philadelphia 2, 2013
Philadelphia 1, 2016 Philadelphia 2 2016 New York 2016 New York 2016 Fenway 1, 2016 Fenway 2, 2018 MSG 2022 St. Paul, 1, St. Paul 2 2023 MSG 2024, MSG 2024 Philadelphia 2024
"I play good, hard-nosed basketball.
Things happen in the game. Nothing you
can do. I don't go and say,
"I'm gonna beat this guy up."
Many of the best relationships that I have known about, including my own....started out as close friendships!
You are a sweetheart...she should dump the BF and hook up with YOU!
oxc
~*LIVE~LOVE~LAUGH*~
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
Many of the best relationships that I have known about, including my own....started out as close friendships!
You are a sweetheart...she should dump the BF and hook up with YOU!
oxc
that's the best way to do it in my opinion because you get comfortable with each other, although it can get dicey if one person's feelings are not shared by the other person.
Reading 2004
Albany 2006 Camden 2006 E. Rutherford 2, 2006 Inglewood 2006,
Chicago 2007
Camden 2008 MSG 2008 MSG 2008 Hartford 2008.
Seattle 2009 Seattle 2009 Philadelphia 2009,Philadelphia 2009 Philadelphia 2009
Hartford 2010 MSG 2010 MSG 2010
Toronto 2011,Toronto 2011
Wrigley Field 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Philadelphia 2, 2013
Philadelphia 1, 2016 Philadelphia 2 2016 New York 2016 New York 2016 Fenway 1, 2016 Fenway 2, 2018 MSG 2022 St. Paul, 1, St. Paul 2 2023 MSG 2024, MSG 2024 Philadelphia 2024
"I play good, hard-nosed basketball.
Things happen in the game. Nothing you
can do. I don't go and say,
"I'm gonna beat this guy up."
i have to ask and maybe i missed it...but she just broke with the bf and you try to "go for the kill" so to speak?....i think you should have "been there" for her and let the friendship you have develop into a more romantic situation....:)
i have to ask and maybe i missed it...but she just broke with the bf and you try to "go for the kill" so to speak?....i think you should have "been there" for her and let the friendship you have develop into a more romantic situation....:)
Yeah, I hear you. It's been boiling away inside me since I met her though, and I felt the need to say something. I even told her it's probably not great timing on my part because of what she's going through. Some friends told me to just wait it out and let it happen. We'll see. Maybe it's selfish, but I'm just happy I let it out. There's no heavier burden than unspoken regrets.
24 years old, mid-life crisis
nowadays hits you when you're young
Haha now you're talking. Thank's a lot, you PJ girls are the best!
based upon all the props you are getting on here you seem highly marketable so hopefully you can find some nice girl who is not hung up on another guy good luck!
Yeah, I hear you. It's been boiling away inside me since I met her though, and I felt the need to say something. I even told her it's probably not great timing on my part because of what she's going through. Some friends told me to just wait it out and let it happen. We'll see. Maybe it's selfish, but I'm just happy I let it out. There's no heavier burden than unspoken regrets.
gotcha....maybe as time passes she will come around and realize she's into you
So I take it all of that chivalrous crap about wooing a girl and winning them over is all Hollywood bullshit?
I don't want to speak for all girls, but I think that this girl we are speaking of only wants to be wooed by her ex boyfriend.
Upon thinking about how my situation relates to yours, I feel that I have alot in common with the girl causing you troubles. I was so caught up on this one girl that dumped me that for 3 years I wasn't able to move on. It wasn't that she was that great or anything, but the fact that she dumped me and wouldn't give me the time of day really bothered me and made me like her more. I knew she was bad for me, I knew things wouldn't work out, but I couldn't get it out of my mind. I met other women, but I would never let myself enter into a relationship in hopes that things might work out with the other girl I wanted. I screwed up 3 prime years of my early life (I'm 24 now), I screwed up my last years of college, everything..all because I was holding out for something that I only wanted because I couldn't have it.
I say I relate to this girl because I shared the same self esteem issues. I had never been turned down by anyone I asked out or had never been dumped before till this girl. Once it happened I was like 'whats wrong with me that she doesn't want to be with me' ---I think that girl is sharing those same feelings with her relationship with her ex boyfriend. I don't think she is able to turn the page. She confides in you because you guys hit it off, and under normal circumstances things could probably blossom into something more- but these situations aren't normal. She is clinging to anything to gain the attention of her ex because getting his attention will make her feel better about herself.
I'm no expert, but it just sounds awful familiar. Don't hold yourself back man because of this girl. Actually, to be honest, I think you would make more headway with this girl if you started dating other girls. Don't date them for that sole reason though because it sounds like until this girl gets comfortable with herself, she will never give you what you want in terms of a relationship
based upon all the props you are getting on here you seem highly marketable so hopefully you can find some nice girl who is not hung up on another guy good luck!
Indeed. psst...don't tell AllNiteThing this, but if I lived in the same time zone as him, I'd totally be interested.
This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper
Indeed. psst...don't tell AllNiteThing this, but if I lived in the same time zone as him, I'd totally be interested.
If I wasn't old enough to be his mom....ME TOO!
oxc
~*LIVE~LOVE~LAUGH*~
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
I'm no expert, but it just sounds awful familiar. Don't hold yourself back man because of this girl. Actually, to be honest, I think you would make more headway with this girl if you started dating other girls. Don't date them for that sole reason though because it sounds like until this girl gets comfortable with herself, she will never give you what you want in terms of a relationship
Yeah, I'm definitely with you there. I've even told her that in a way. She's said how she doesn't want to be alone and all that and I told her that she needs to be happy with herself and not NEED someone else, otherwise you're just looking for someone to fill the void rather than finding a partner who you're really into for themselves.
I've thought about the dating other girls thing working, and that is a really good point. Of course the downside is I couldn't do that unless I really like the other girl, and by then that whole scenario is out the door anyways. G-D it all to hell, why does trying to find happiness with someone else require so much stress?
24 years old, mid-life crisis
nowadays hits you when you're young
Comments
haha! Nice one. :cool: I love cross-thread references.
nowadays hits you when you're young
Awesome advice man...much appreciated. I agree with all of that too, and kind of knew it already. I know she's kind of being clingy with me, definitely more than just a 'casual male friend' and that it's because of the ex bf and her esteem issues. I guess I just needed to get it out on the table for myself more than anything. I'm definitely going to back off, play it cool and not push it anymore. We'll see what happens. At least she knows, which is better than playing games.
nowadays hits you when you're young
Awwww
Thanks, but I'm starting to realize I need to be more of an asshole!
nowadays hits you when you're young
nowadays hits you when you're young
not necessarily....just a little
I think the 'nice' guys just seem to go for the bitches, and not the nice girls who appreciate that crap
I don't why they go for the bitches (I personally don't), but hey i'm no dating expert...
Albany 2006 Camden 2006 E. Rutherford 2, 2006 Inglewood 2006,
Chicago 2007
Camden 2008 MSG 2008 MSG 2008 Hartford 2008.
Seattle 2009 Seattle 2009 Philadelphia 2009,Philadelphia 2009 Philadelphia 2009
Hartford 2010 MSG 2010 MSG 2010
Toronto 2011,Toronto 2011
Wrigley Field 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Philadelphia 2, 2013
Philadelphia 1, 2016 Philadelphia 2 2016 New York 2016 New York 2016 Fenway 1, 2016
Fenway 2, 2018
MSG 2022
St. Paul, 1, St. Paul 2 2023
MSG 2024, MSG 2024
Philadelphia 2024
"I play good, hard-nosed basketball.
Things happen in the game. Nothing you
can do. I don't go and say,
"I'm gonna beat this guy up."
haha believe you me, nor am I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
just bored at work and blabbing
*edit
although I could probably write a book on how to date (and marry) all the wrong people! lots of material....
well if we all were, we'd be chatting with significant others instead of being on here..
Albany 2006 Camden 2006 E. Rutherford 2, 2006 Inglewood 2006,
Chicago 2007
Camden 2008 MSG 2008 MSG 2008 Hartford 2008.
Seattle 2009 Seattle 2009 Philadelphia 2009,Philadelphia 2009 Philadelphia 2009
Hartford 2010 MSG 2010 MSG 2010
Toronto 2011,Toronto 2011
Wrigley Field 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Philadelphia 2, 2013
Philadelphia 1, 2016 Philadelphia 2 2016 New York 2016 New York 2016 Fenway 1, 2016
Fenway 2, 2018
MSG 2022
St. Paul, 1, St. Paul 2 2023
MSG 2024, MSG 2024
Philadelphia 2024
"I play good, hard-nosed basketball.
Things happen in the game. Nothing you
can do. I don't go and say,
"I'm gonna beat this guy up."
'06 - London, Dublin, Reading
'07 - Katowice, Wembley, Dusseldorf, Copenhagen, Nijmegen
'09 - London, Manchester, London
'12 - Manchester, Manchester, Berlin, Stockholm, Copenhagen
not really.
Albany 2006 Camden 2006 E. Rutherford 2, 2006 Inglewood 2006,
Chicago 2007
Camden 2008 MSG 2008 MSG 2008 Hartford 2008.
Seattle 2009 Seattle 2009 Philadelphia 2009,Philadelphia 2009 Philadelphia 2009
Hartford 2010 MSG 2010 MSG 2010
Toronto 2011,Toronto 2011
Wrigley Field 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Philadelphia 2, 2013
Philadelphia 1, 2016 Philadelphia 2 2016 New York 2016 New York 2016 Fenway 1, 2016
Fenway 2, 2018
MSG 2022
St. Paul, 1, St. Paul 2 2023
MSG 2024, MSG 2024
Philadelphia 2024
"I play good, hard-nosed basketball.
Things happen in the game. Nothing you
can do. I don't go and say,
"I'm gonna beat this guy up."
for some reason, i totally knew you were going to say that! lol....
hey, there are tons of married people on here too. shitloads going through a divorce though
whatever. it's all good. i like this place.
I'm that predictable?
Albany 2006 Camden 2006 E. Rutherford 2, 2006 Inglewood 2006,
Chicago 2007
Camden 2008 MSG 2008 MSG 2008 Hartford 2008.
Seattle 2009 Seattle 2009 Philadelphia 2009,Philadelphia 2009 Philadelphia 2009
Hartford 2010 MSG 2010 MSG 2010
Toronto 2011,Toronto 2011
Wrigley Field 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Philadelphia 2, 2013
Philadelphia 1, 2016 Philadelphia 2 2016 New York 2016 New York 2016 Fenway 1, 2016
Fenway 2, 2018
MSG 2022
St. Paul, 1, St. Paul 2 2023
MSG 2024, MSG 2024
Philadelphia 2024
"I play good, hard-nosed basketball.
Things happen in the game. Nothing you
can do. I don't go and say,
"I'm gonna beat this guy up."
I guess so.....:o
Uh, NO! That's the stuff that makes us swoon.
You're too cool to be an asshole.
You are a sweetheart...she should dump the BF and hook up with YOU!
oxc
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
Agreed! Mikey is truly one of the good ones!
that's the best way to do it in my opinion because you get comfortable with each other, although it can get dicey if one person's feelings are not shared by the other person.
Albany 2006 Camden 2006 E. Rutherford 2, 2006 Inglewood 2006,
Chicago 2007
Camden 2008 MSG 2008 MSG 2008 Hartford 2008.
Seattle 2009 Seattle 2009 Philadelphia 2009,Philadelphia 2009 Philadelphia 2009
Hartford 2010 MSG 2010 MSG 2010
Toronto 2011,Toronto 2011
Wrigley Field 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Philadelphia 2, 2013
Philadelphia 1, 2016 Philadelphia 2 2016 New York 2016 New York 2016 Fenway 1, 2016
Fenway 2, 2018
MSG 2022
St. Paul, 1, St. Paul 2 2023
MSG 2024, MSG 2024
Philadelphia 2024
"I play good, hard-nosed basketball.
Things happen in the game. Nothing you
can do. I don't go and say,
"I'm gonna beat this guy up."
Haha now you're talking.
nowadays hits you when you're young
Yeah, I hear you. It's been boiling away inside me since I met her though, and I felt the need to say something. I even told her it's probably not great timing on my part because of what she's going through. Some friends told me to just wait it out and let it happen. We'll see. Maybe it's selfish, but I'm just happy I let it out. There's no heavier burden than unspoken regrets.
nowadays hits you when you're young
based upon all the props you are getting on here you seem highly marketable
gotcha....maybe as time passes she will come around and realize she's into you
I don't want to speak for all girls, but I think that this girl we are speaking of only wants to be wooed by her ex boyfriend.
Upon thinking about how my situation relates to yours, I feel that I have alot in common with the girl causing you troubles. I was so caught up on this one girl that dumped me that for 3 years I wasn't able to move on. It wasn't that she was that great or anything, but the fact that she dumped me and wouldn't give me the time of day really bothered me and made me like her more. I knew she was bad for me, I knew things wouldn't work out, but I couldn't get it out of my mind. I met other women, but I would never let myself enter into a relationship in hopes that things might work out with the other girl I wanted. I screwed up 3 prime years of my early life (I'm 24 now), I screwed up my last years of college, everything..all because I was holding out for something that I only wanted because I couldn't have it.
I say I relate to this girl because I shared the same self esteem issues. I had never been turned down by anyone I asked out or had never been dumped before till this girl. Once it happened I was like 'whats wrong with me that she doesn't want to be with me' ---I think that girl is sharing those same feelings with her relationship with her ex boyfriend. I don't think she is able to turn the page. She confides in you because you guys hit it off, and under normal circumstances things could probably blossom into something more- but these situations aren't normal. She is clinging to anything to gain the attention of her ex because getting his attention will make her feel better about herself.
I'm no expert, but it just sounds awful familiar. Don't hold yourself back man because of this girl. Actually, to be honest, I think you would make more headway with this girl if you started dating other girls. Don't date them for that sole reason though because it sounds like until this girl gets comfortable with herself, she will never give you what you want in terms of a relationship
Indeed. psst...don't tell AllNiteThing this, but if I lived in the same time zone as him, I'd totally be interested.
If I wasn't old enough to be his mom....ME TOO!
oxc
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
this thread is usless without pics
Yeah, I'm definitely with you there. I've even told her that in a way. She's said how she doesn't want to be alone and all that and I told her that she needs to be happy with herself and not NEED someone else, otherwise you're just looking for someone to fill the void rather than finding a partner who you're really into for themselves.
I've thought about the dating other girls thing working, and that is a really good point. Of course the downside is I couldn't do that unless I really like the other girl, and by then that whole scenario is out the door anyways. G-D it all to hell, why does trying to find happiness with someone else require so much stress?
nowadays hits you when you're young
Mmmm cougars.
nowadays hits you when you're young