Need Relationship/Female Advice!!!!

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Comments

  • AllNiteThing
    AllNiteThing Posts: 1,115
    Heineken Helen wrote:
    That's good :o . You seem to be on top of this without our advice :p . I can imagine how you're feeling right now... but it's better now than in ten years posting a thread about how she emailed you out of the blue and asking us if you should propose to her ;)


    haha! Nice one. :cool: I love cross-thread references.
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young
  • AllNiteThing
    AllNiteThing Posts: 1,115
    thunderDAN wrote:
    I was in a similar situation once but it was actually more sexual, but I'll give you some advice for what I think might be going on and hopefully it turns out better for you than it did for me..

    I really think that women seek attachment elsewhere when they arn't getting it from the person they seek it from. It sounds like with all her griping about her ex that deep down she knows he is no good for her, but she still wants it because it has been evading her. This might explain why she has self esteem issues. She gets bummed about her ex not paying attention to her, and not having emotion towards her and she isn't able to move on from it. Now I know you don't want to hear this because I was in the same boat you were in- but she is using you for the emotional aspects she doesn't get from her ex and she is trying to fill that void through you. Now I know that sucks that she says you guys are 'just friends' because you both know you arn't, but she isn't comfortable with herself because of the situation her BF put her in which limits her ability to move on. By her telling you things and complimenting you she is indeed flirting, but I think its just for attention. Women want the guys that don't pay attention to them to pay attention to them, and the guys that do pay attention to them they take for granted. I just think she is keeping herself ready hoping he will comeback to her, and that by dating you she loses that chance and your friendship that is more than a normal friendship

    I don't know, see I did the wrong thing when I was in this situation- I was unable to look outside the situation and get away from my feelings I had for a girl and it screwed everything up. I would suggest playing it cool and just doing your best to still talk and all that because she knows your feelings now, so if something happens it happens.

    Good luck to you though

    Awesome advice man...much appreciated. I agree with all of that too, and kind of knew it already. I know she's kind of being clingy with me, definitely more than just a 'casual male friend' and that it's because of the ex bf and her esteem issues. I guess I just needed to get it out on the table for myself more than anything. I'm definitely going to back off, play it cool and not push it anymore. We'll see what happens. At least she knows, which is better than playing games.
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young
  • AllNiteThing
    AllNiteThing Posts: 1,115
    AmentsChick wrote:
    I think it's ALWAYS a good thing to tell someone that you like them (well, if they're not married, otherwise that could get messy). I have a friend who was crazy about a girl and never ever ever told her, despite the advice from all of his friends.

    And, for the record, this chick is NUTS if she doesn't go for you. You're honestly one of the funniest, most down-to-earth guys I know, plus you're cute!


    Awwww :D

    Thanks, but I'm starting to realize I need to be more of an asshole! :)
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young
  • AllNiteThing
    AllNiteThing Posts: 1,115
    So I take it all of that chivalrous crap about wooing a girl and winning them over is all Hollywood bullshit? :confused:
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young
  • edvedder913
    edvedder913 Posts: 1,810
    AllNiteThing wrote:
    So I take it all of that chivalrous crap about wooing a girl and winning them over is all Hollywood bullshit? :confused:


    not necessarily....just a little :)

    I think the 'nice' guys just seem to go for the bitches, and not the nice girls who appreciate that crap ;)
  • xavier mcdaniel
    xavier mcdaniel Somewhere in NYC Posts: 9,443
    edvedder913 wrote:
    not necessarily....just a little :)

    I think the 'nice' guys just seem to go for the bitches, and not the nice girls who appreciate that crap ;)

    I don't why they go for the bitches (I personally don't), but hey i'm no dating expert...
    Reading 2004
    Albany 2006 Camden 2006 E. Rutherford 2, 2006 Inglewood 2006,
    Chicago 2007
    Camden 2008 MSG 2008 MSG 2008 Hartford 2008.
    Seattle 2009 Seattle 2009 Philadelphia 2009,Philadelphia 2009 Philadelphia 2009
    Hartford 2010 MSG 2010 MSG 2010
    Toronto 2011,Toronto 2011
    Wrigley Field 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Philadelphia 2, 2013
    Philadelphia 1, 2016 Philadelphia 2 2016 New York 2016 New York 2016 Fenway 1, 2016
    Fenway 2, 2018
    MSG 2022
    St. Paul, 1, St. Paul 2 2023
    MSG 2024, MSG 2024
    Philadelphia 2024
    "I play good, hard-nosed basketball.
    Things happen in the game. Nothing you
    can do. I don't go and say,
    "I'm gonna beat this guy up."
  • edvedder913
    edvedder913 Posts: 1,810
    xavier mcdaniel wrote:
    I don't why they go for the bitches (I personally don't), but hey i'm no dating expert...


    haha believe you me, nor am I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    just bored at work and blabbing ;)

    *edit

    although I could probably write a book on how to date (and marry) all the wrong people! lots of material....
  • xavier mcdaniel
    xavier mcdaniel Somewhere in NYC Posts: 9,443
    edvedder913 wrote:
    haha believe you me, nor am I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    just bored at work and blabbing ;)

    well if we all were, we'd be chatting with significant others instead of being on here..
    Reading 2004
    Albany 2006 Camden 2006 E. Rutherford 2, 2006 Inglewood 2006,
    Chicago 2007
    Camden 2008 MSG 2008 MSG 2008 Hartford 2008.
    Seattle 2009 Seattle 2009 Philadelphia 2009,Philadelphia 2009 Philadelphia 2009
    Hartford 2010 MSG 2010 MSG 2010
    Toronto 2011,Toronto 2011
    Wrigley Field 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Philadelphia 2, 2013
    Philadelphia 1, 2016 Philadelphia 2 2016 New York 2016 New York 2016 Fenway 1, 2016
    Fenway 2, 2018
    MSG 2022
    St. Paul, 1, St. Paul 2 2023
    MSG 2024, MSG 2024
    Philadelphia 2024
    "I play good, hard-nosed basketball.
    Things happen in the game. Nothing you
    can do. I don't go and say,
    "I'm gonna beat this guy up."
  • Pauk
    Pauk Posts: 1,084
    xavier mcdaniel wrote:
    well if we all were, we'd be chatting with significant others instead of being on here..
    Depressing, ain't it? :p
    Paul
    '06 - London, Dublin, Reading
    '07 - Katowice, Wembley, Dusseldorf, Copenhagen, Nijmegen
    '09 - London, Manchester, London
    '12 - Manchester, Manchester, Berlin, Stockholm, Copenhagen
  • xavier mcdaniel
    xavier mcdaniel Somewhere in NYC Posts: 9,443
    fowls wrote:
    Depressing, ain't it? :p

    not really.
    Reading 2004
    Albany 2006 Camden 2006 E. Rutherford 2, 2006 Inglewood 2006,
    Chicago 2007
    Camden 2008 MSG 2008 MSG 2008 Hartford 2008.
    Seattle 2009 Seattle 2009 Philadelphia 2009,Philadelphia 2009 Philadelphia 2009
    Hartford 2010 MSG 2010 MSG 2010
    Toronto 2011,Toronto 2011
    Wrigley Field 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Philadelphia 2, 2013
    Philadelphia 1, 2016 Philadelphia 2 2016 New York 2016 New York 2016 Fenway 1, 2016
    Fenway 2, 2018
    MSG 2022
    St. Paul, 1, St. Paul 2 2023
    MSG 2024, MSG 2024
    Philadelphia 2024
    "I play good, hard-nosed basketball.
    Things happen in the game. Nothing you
    can do. I don't go and say,
    "I'm gonna beat this guy up."
  • edvedder913
    edvedder913 Posts: 1,810
    xavier mcdaniel wrote:
    not really.


    for some reason, i totally knew you were going to say that! lol....

    hey, there are tons of married people on here too. shitloads going through a divorce though ;)

    whatever. it's all good. i like this place.
  • xavier mcdaniel
    xavier mcdaniel Somewhere in NYC Posts: 9,443
    edvedder913 wrote:
    for some reason, i totally knew you were going to say that! lol....

    hey, there are tons of married people on here too. shitloads going through a divorce though ;)

    whatever. it's all good. i like this place.

    I'm that predictable?
    Reading 2004
    Albany 2006 Camden 2006 E. Rutherford 2, 2006 Inglewood 2006,
    Chicago 2007
    Camden 2008 MSG 2008 MSG 2008 Hartford 2008.
    Seattle 2009 Seattle 2009 Philadelphia 2009,Philadelphia 2009 Philadelphia 2009
    Hartford 2010 MSG 2010 MSG 2010
    Toronto 2011,Toronto 2011
    Wrigley Field 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Philadelphia 2, 2013
    Philadelphia 1, 2016 Philadelphia 2 2016 New York 2016 New York 2016 Fenway 1, 2016
    Fenway 2, 2018
    MSG 2022
    St. Paul, 1, St. Paul 2 2023
    MSG 2024, MSG 2024
    Philadelphia 2024
    "I play good, hard-nosed basketball.
    Things happen in the game. Nothing you
    can do. I don't go and say,
    "I'm gonna beat this guy up."
  • edvedder913
    edvedder913 Posts: 1,810
    xavier mcdaniel wrote:
    I'm that predictable?


    I guess so.....:o
  • AmentsChick
    AmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    AllNiteThing wrote:
    So I take it all of that chivalrous crap about wooing a girl and winning them over is all Hollywood bullshit? :confused:

    Uh, NO! That's the stuff that makes us swoon.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • AmentsChick
    AmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    AllNiteThing wrote:
    Awwww :D

    Thanks, but I'm starting to realize I need to be more of an asshole! :)

    You're too cool to be an asshole.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • PJaddicted
    PJaddicted Posts: 1,432
    Many of the best relationships that I have known about, including my own....started out as close friendships!

    You are a sweetheart...she should dump the BF and hook up with YOU!

    oxc
    ~*LIVE~LOVE~LAUGH*~

    *May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*

    He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
    — Unknown
  • AmentsChick
    AmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    PJaddicted wrote:
    Many of the best relationships that I have known about, including my own....started out as close friendships!

    You are a sweetheart...she should dump the BF and hook up with YOU!

    oxc

    Agreed! Mikey is truly one of the good ones!
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • xavier mcdaniel
    xavier mcdaniel Somewhere in NYC Posts: 9,443
    PJaddicted wrote:
    Many of the best relationships that I have known about, including my own....started out as close friendships!

    You are a sweetheart...she should dump the BF and hook up with YOU!

    oxc

    that's the best way to do it in my opinion because you get comfortable with each other, although it can get dicey if one person's feelings are not shared by the other person.
    Reading 2004
    Albany 2006 Camden 2006 E. Rutherford 2, 2006 Inglewood 2006,
    Chicago 2007
    Camden 2008 MSG 2008 MSG 2008 Hartford 2008.
    Seattle 2009 Seattle 2009 Philadelphia 2009,Philadelphia 2009 Philadelphia 2009
    Hartford 2010 MSG 2010 MSG 2010
    Toronto 2011,Toronto 2011
    Wrigley Field 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Philadelphia 2, 2013
    Philadelphia 1, 2016 Philadelphia 2 2016 New York 2016 New York 2016 Fenway 1, 2016
    Fenway 2, 2018
    MSG 2022
    St. Paul, 1, St. Paul 2 2023
    MSG 2024, MSG 2024
    Philadelphia 2024
    "I play good, hard-nosed basketball.
    Things happen in the game. Nothing you
    can do. I don't go and say,
    "I'm gonna beat this guy up."
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    i have to ask and maybe i missed it...but she just broke with the bf and you try to "go for the kill" so to speak?....i think you should have "been there" for her and let the friendship you have develop into a more romantic situation....:)
  • AllNiteThing
    AllNiteThing Posts: 1,115
    PJaddicted wrote:
    Many of the best relationships that I have known about, including my own....started out as close friendships!

    You are a sweetheart...she should dump the BF and hook up with YOU!

    oxc


    Haha now you're talking. :) Thank's a lot, you PJ girls are the best! ;)
    24 years old, mid-life crisis
    nowadays hits you when you're young

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