Need Relationship/Female Advice!!!!

Heineken Helen · May 2008

Jeremy1012 wrote:

Fact is, and no offence to Helen or the other women here , trying to find rationality in a woman soon after a break up is not always easy. I'm not saying it's the case for all women, that's just sexist and stupid but in my experience, whatever you think is the situation is probably totally different to her take on it.

None taken, and same goes for men... that's why things didn't work with my ex, he wasn't over HIS ex yet.

And that was one of the first things I said to the OP, that it was his only mistake, saying it to her so soon after the break up... NEVER a good idea.

Heineken Helen · May 2008

AllNiteThing wrote:

Awesome advice man...much appreciated. I agree with all of that too, and kind of knew it already. I know she's kind of being clingy with me, definitely more than just a 'casual male friend' and that it's because of the ex bf and her esteem issues. I guess I just needed to get it out on the table for myself more than anything. I'm definitely going to back off, play it cool and not push it anymore. We'll see what happens. At least she knows, which is better than playing games.

Absolutely

and this sounds hard but when you've just broken up with somebody, you really don't care about anyone else... you do what's good for YOU. Your friends might be telling you to go out and get laid or you might fall into the arms of the first sympathetic guy who lends an ear

.

Heineken Helen · May 2008

AllNiteThing wrote:

So I take it all of that chivalrous crap about wooing a girl and winning them over is all Hollywood bullshit?

Nope... if you're going for 17/18 year old girls, yep, it's bullshit. But if you want someone your own age, at that age women have gone through all the bullshit lying and game playing and generally want something straightforward. I like chivalry for what it's worth... and so do plenty of my friends. It depends on how much self esteem you have. I used to have low self esteem and kinda felt like I wasn't worthy of being treated special... but now I'm pretty big headed

and know that's exactly what I deserve

but it's also worth it for him

AllNiteThing · May 2008

Heineken Helen wrote:

Nope... if you're going for 17/18 year old girls, yep, it's bullshit. But if you want someone your own age, at that age women have gone through all the bullshit lying and game playing and generally want something straightforward. I like chivalry for what it's worth... and so do plenty of my friends. It depends on how much self esteem you have. I used to have low self esteem and kinda felt like I wasn't worthy of being treated special... but now I'm pretty big headed and know that's exactly what I deserve but it's also worth it for him

Good to hear some women like a guy who treats them right.

You're spot on about the self worth thing too, I definitely see that in a lot of women for some reason, especially the ones who get into the wrong kinds of relationships.

We're going to see Indy tonite, so hopefully it's not too awkward!

Heineken Helen · May 2008

AllNiteThing wrote:

Good to hear some women like a guy who treats them right. You're spot on about the self worth thing too, I definitely see that in a lot of women for some reason, especially the ones who get into the wrong kinds of relationships.

We're going to see Indy tonite, so hopefully it's not too awkward!

I don't understand it... I know a lot of young people have that problem, cos you still care way too much about what people think about you... but I'm glad I grew out of it. It took a while though to be able to accept compliments and stuff... but now I've NOOOOOO problems whatsoever

. Even when I wasn't so big into chivalry, I still appreciated any attempts at it though. And you're right about the wrong kinds of relationships. I also used to go for the 'assholes' but I think that was cos I wanted excitement in my life and some of the socalled 'nice guys' seemed a little dull... but I soon learned otherwise... that you don't have to get hurt in order to have some excitement.

Ooohh Indy

I'm looking forward to seeing that. The fact that you two are going though says lots. Just relax and be how you always are with her.

AllNiteThing · May 2008

Heineken Helen wrote:

I don't understand it... I know a lot of young people have that problem, cos you still care way too much about what people think about you... but I'm glad I grew out of it. It took a while though to be able to accept compliments and stuff... but now I've NOOOOOO problems whatsoever . Even when I wasn't so big into chivalry, I still appreciated any attempts at it though. And you're right about the wrong kinds of relationships. I also used to go for the 'assholes' but I think that was cos I wanted excitement in my life and some of the socalled 'nice guys' seemed a little dull... but I soon learned otherwise... that you don't have to get hurt in order to have some excitement.

Ooohh Indy I'm looking forward to seeing that. The fact that you two are going though says lots. Just relax and be how you always are with her.

Thanks Helen, you've helped a lot. :cool: Also, I'm really glad to hear you've found someone you're happy with!

Heineken Helen · May 2008

AllNiteThing wrote:

Thanks Helen, you've helped a lot. :cool: Also, I'm really glad to hear you've found someone you're happy with!

thank you

and ya know in a couple of months you'll be able to look back on this and laugh at how you two got together... or because you're with somebody way better than this girl

(although in fairness she doesn't sound like a bitch). And again congrats for biting the bullet

thunderDAN · May 2008

AllNiteThing wrote:

We're going to see Indy tonite, so hopefully it's not too awkward!

here is what you do...deflect any awkwardness that might exist between you 2 because of what you told her by wearing this outfit to the movie. It will cut any tension

http://www.halloweencostumes4u.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=hal&Product_Code=rub888673

AllNiteThing · May 2008

thunderDAN wrote:

here is what you do...deflect any awkwardness that might exist between you 2 because of what you told her by wearing this outfit to the movie. It will cut any tension

http://www.halloweencostumes4u.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=hal&Product_Code=rub888673

Hahaha nice. We actually talked about dressing up. I told her to be the alligator from the end of Temple of Doom. Maybe I'll be Short Round. 'Feels like I step on fortune cookie!'

AmentsChick · May 2008

thunderDAN wrote:

here is what you do...deflect any awkwardness that might exist between you 2 because of what you told her by wearing this outfit to the movie. It will cut any tension

http://www.halloweencostumes4u.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=hal&Product_Code=rub888673

That's hot.

nothingman44 · May 2008

bitches are crazy like that....

Heineken Helen · May 2008

so how was the film?

AllNiteThing · May 2008

Heineken Helen wrote:

so how was the film?

Ehh...a little disappointed in the film. We had a good time talking before the movie though, so no real awkwardness or anything.

We both went out of town this weekend, and of course she was texting me randomly the whole time to say hi, tell me what she was up to, etc. Must not read anything into this...must not read anything into this...must not.....

Heineken Helen · May 2008

AllNiteThing wrote:

Ehh...a little disappointed in the film. We had a good time talking before the movie though, so no real awkwardness or anything.

We both went out of town this weekend, and of course she was texting me randomly the whole time to say hi, tell me what she was up to, etc. Must not read anything into this...must not read anything into this...must not.....

Stop it

*slaps AllNiteThing across the face*

AllNiteThing · May 2008

Heineken Helen wrote:

Stop it *slaps AllNiteThing across the face*

lol thanks.

Almost lost it there....

Need Relationship/Female Advice!!!!

Comments

Categories