Stone Gossard...

Stone Gossard test drives reindeer.

stone gossard took the bite out of steve jobs' apple

Stone Gossard just asked me..."Did Dunk say something?"

Stone was first to write the bible, this was his first draft:-

So then…. First god created the world or universe in 7 days… 7 days of no sleeping and fusing plates together…. Mountain here… valley there… I’ll glue the plates together later… too fuckin busy… put all these big earthy bits together and… its like a big jigsaw this… but whats a jigsaw… I haven’t invented jigsaws yet…. Add to list – no137 invent jigsaws and photomosaics

it was a xmas present from gods mum…. "Here you are son, an earth photomosaic – that should keep you busy for a few weeks” 7 days later and gods pulling at his mothers big white beard… “mum… mum I finished the photomosaics” In 7 days? “yeah… well 6 days really… I had a lie in yesterday..anyway it was easy…. I just threw in all the crusts together… have we got any sellotape?… the left hand side of America is looking a bit shakey… and I created Japan right on top of one of the big joins… the hot stuff underneath was a bugger though… but it comes with a warranty… so I’m just gonna sellotape it for now.

Then after his 7 days were up he smoked a pipe and put on his slippers… he was on continental shift systems with Allah and Jehovah and Marky Marky from the Funky Bunch… but the other gods weren’t bothered and decided not to turn up for their shifts and went snowboarding instead…

So god waited another few thousand years and then invented Adam, as he was bored of playing on the Playstation by himself… and so Adam was created… but then they both got bored of each other and would fight endlessly over who was best at Tekken I…. So Adam gave names to all the animals in his garden and was still lonely… but if god had made Adam a welshman and Adam had met the sheep… end of story… no Eve??

he got Adam to eat tiny mushrooms so he wouldn’t feel any pain and god ripped out an ankle or a thorax or something and made Eve, … and Adam and Eve lived in this garden that god had especially designed by the same guy who did Babylon.....but god wasn’t doing any weeding… noooo that was Adams job... that and making spice racks… Eve, for you, I have invented a washing machine and you may hoover up the lawn and bake cherry scones…. But don’t eat any of the apples that I have made so gloriously juicy and colourful… eat lychees and coconuts instead… "but god the coconuts are so hard to get into and the lychees don’t have the correct consistency for cooking"… well Eve there are other fruits in here.... go search for them…. Just don’t take those apples as I’m…. ehhh… keeping them for …eh…..bring an Apple to School Day…

So Eve really wants apples… "I must have apples to make my apple crumble…. I need the pips from the apple…. that Gladys Knight is gonna get them first....must get seeds..... I’m sure of it!! That bitch can wait her turn."

Then a snake comes out of the tree and tells Eve to eat one of the apples and Eve’s saying “that fuckin Adam has been putting those mushrooms into my cocoa again hasn’t he… and the snake says “noooo I'm real... i just have the ability to speak".... and so the serpent becomes the worlds first drugs pusher "go on Eve.... you know you want to... one bite won't do you any harm..... you can give it up easily...... i have apples every day.... look at me, no doctors and clean fangs" so Eve takes a bite of the apple... yummy.... and Adam take a bite also... and gods annoyed now because his apple project has been fucked up and now he'll have to take a cherry scone or a coconut.....and zeus always takes coconuts....bastard.... so Adam and Eve are driven out of the garden... in a limo, big white limo... cos god didn't want to appear too cruel..... aaaarrggghhh you ate one of my apples.... i sentence you to die a horrible death and I curse this earth that you walk on and... well get out of my landscaped garden.... and Adams like "wait up there daddio... death and an eternal curse for biting an apple.... bit harsh isn't it".... mmmmm is a bit but I have to go with it you understand.. gods will n'all..... Adam says fair enough......so then they are driven out in the limo by an angel with a flaming sword...and thats it.

dunkman wrote:

Stone was first to write the bible, this was his first draft:-

So then…. First god created the world or universe in 7 days… 7 days of no sleeping and fusing plates together…. Mountain here… valley there… I’ll glue the plates together later… too fuckin busy… put all these big earthy bits together and… its like a big jigsaw this… but whats a jigsaw… I haven’t invented jigsaws yet…. Add to list – no137 invent jigsaws and photomosaics

it was a xmas present from gods mum…. "Here you are son, an earth photomosaic – that should keep you busy for a few weeks” 7 days later and gods pulling at his mothers big white beard… “mum… mum I finished the photomosaics” In 7 days? “yeah… well 6 days really… I had a lie in yesterday..anyway it was easy…. I just threw in all the crusts together… have we got any sellotape?… the left hand side of America is looking a bit shakey… and I created Japan right on top of one of the big joins… the hot stuff underneath was a bugger though… but it comes with a warranty… so I’m just gonna sellotape it for now.

Then after his 7 days were up he smoked a pipe and put on his slippers… he was on continental shift systems with Allah and Jehovah and Marky Marky from the Funky Bunch… but the other gods weren’t bothered and decided not to turn up for their shifts and went snowboarding instead…

So god waited another few thousand years and then invented Adam, as he was bored of playing on the Playstation by himself… and so Adam was created… but then they both got bored of each other and would fight endlessly over who was best at Tekken I…. So Adam gave names to all the animals in his garden and was still lonely… but if god had made Adam a welshman and Adam had met the sheep… end of story… no Eve??

he got Adam to eat tiny mushrooms so he wouldn’t feel any pain and god ripped out an ankle or a thorax or something and made Eve, … and Adam and Eve lived in this garden that god had especially designed by the same guy who did Babylon.....but god wasn’t doing any weeding… noooo that was Adams job... that and making spice racks… Eve, for you, I have invented a washing machine and you may hoover up the lawn and bake cherry scones…. But don’t eat any of the apples that I have made so gloriously juicy and colourful… eat lychees and coconuts instead… "but god the coconuts are so hard to get into and the lychees don’t have the correct consistency for cooking"… well Eve there are other fruits in here.... go search for them…. Just don’t take those apples as I’m…. ehhh… keeping them for …eh…..bring an Apple to School Day…

So Eve really wants apples… "I must have apples to make my apple crumble…. I need the pips from the apple…. that Gladys Knight is gonna get them first....must get seeds..... I’m sure of it!! That bitch can wait her turn."

Then a snake comes out of the tree and tells Eve to eat one of the apples and Eve’s saying “that fuckin Adam has been putting those mushrooms into my cocoa again hasn’t he… and the snake says “noooo I'm real... i just have the ability to speak".... and so the serpent becomes the worlds first drugs pusher "go on Eve.... you know you want to... one bite won't do you any harm..... you can give it up easily...... i have apples every day.... look at me, no doctors and clean fangs" so Eve takes a bite of the apple... yummy.... and Adam take a bite also... and gods annoyed now because his apple project has been fucked up and now he'll have to take a cherry scone or a coconut.....and zeus always takes coconuts....bastard.... so Adam and Eve are driven out of the garden... in a limo, big white limo... cos god didn't want to appear too cruel..... aaaarrggghhh you ate one of my apples.... i sentence you to die a horrible death and I curse this earth that you walk on and... well get out of my landscaped garden.... and Adams like "wait up there daddio... death and an eternal curse for biting an apple.... bit harsh isn't it".... mmmmm is a bit but I have to go with it you understand.. gods will n'all..... Adam says fair enough......so then they are driven out in the limo by an angel with a flaming sword...and thats it.

Jesus fookin' Christ Dunk! Took me a full Harp to get through that one! Well done my friend!

I remember when this was a brand new thread.



















I thought it would never last.

stone gossard will be the 3rd base umpire in tonight's world series game

Stone Gossard... ate my fucking dog!!!

(for all the Braindead fans out there )

Stone Gossard is pissed that no one else has posted on his thread

:mad:

^^See look at this picture of him ^^