Feelings for a best friend.

pjhawks

petrocs wrote:

My 3 best friends are the most beautiful women I have ever been around...and I havent slept with one of them

Can I then?

I've said this on here before - at some point all men think about sleeping with any cute or hot girl they know. why can't women understand this?

saveuplife

genie wrote:

i've got a very dear friend of mine who comes into that 1% category he is really cool, i'm glad that i met a guy who i can only be friends with .....forever i hope. let's look at it this way all my boyfriends came and went he stayed with me, having him as my friend gives me a peace of mind.

1. Are you 100% positive he would not like to sleep with you?

My advice... give it some time, if you answer "yes".

2. Are you sure he's not gay?

3. Are you reasonably attractive?

These are all important questions to figure this cat out.

genie

pjhawks wrote:

Can I then?

I've said this on here before - at some point all men think about sleeping with any cute or hot girl they know. why can't women understand this?

oh, i do. that's why once i had to walk away from the entire group of people i met only to avoid two guys who were hitting on me, and i didn't know how to tell them i wasn't interested. and i regret walking away now, cause those people were interesting

saveuplife

pjhawks wrote:

Can I then?

I've said this on here before - at some point all men think about sleeping with any cute or hot girl they know. why can't women understand this?

They are delusional.

It actually has gotten to the point where it really bothers me. I have no real reason why, but it does. It's not that hard to figure out!

pjhawks

saveuplife wrote:

They are delusional.

It actually has gotten to the point where it really bothers me. I have no real reason why, but it does. It's not that hard to figure out!

i actually think they are all completely nuts but that probably explains why I am still single.

OffHeGoes29

See women....this is why you can't have guy friends....

genie

saveuplife wrote:

1. Are you 100% positive he would not like to sleep with you?

My advice... give it some time, if you answer "yes".

2. Are you sure he's not gay?

3. Are you reasonably attractive?

These are all important questions to figure this cat out.

3 years ago i met him, he asked me out i said no because i just started seeing one of his friend's. then later on he was in relationship and i was in and out of few flings here and there.

he may want to sleep with me, but i know he wouldn't want to break our friendship because of that, plus relationship wise we are after different things i think.

he is definitely not gay, and i'm reasonably attractive. i love him but in such a way that i don't have to see him each week, because i know he is going to be there for me. lets put it this way i wouldn't mind being with him now, but knowing how fucking difficult relationships can be i'd rather leave him to be my friend forever.

lalalalaaaaaaaa

Jeremy's Spoken wrote:

I feel it would be TOTALLY awkward and ruin the friendship we have, if I asked her or tried anything.

I think you gotta remain honest with her and with yourself...if the friendship isn't based on honesty, then why would it be worth saving?

And if she's known how you feel for this long and still kept you really close, that's kinda crummy imo.

polaris

anyone see young people fucking!? ... the best friend couple was the best ...

at the end of the day - people are CRAZY not to try and forge a relationship with a best friend ... only dishonesty and lack of respect would cause that friendship to end ... if two people are open and honest about everything - then the friend relationship never has to end ...

the hardest part in developing a meaningful relationship is developing the kind of love that stems from respect and belief in the other person ... why not take advantage of that?

genie

in a way he is better off, because i respect him, everyone else who's been my boyfriend i don't.

anyways, what do you all want from a girl who can't make friends easily amongst women? i don't think my female "friends" know what bonding means.
i have to be extra fucking nice to my female friends, and if i piss them off only once they don't wanna sort it out they just ignore me. bitches, sorry

saveuplife

genie wrote:

3 years ago i met him, he asked me out i said no because i just started seeing one of his friend's. then later on he was in relationship and i was in and out of few flings here and there..

He asked you out while you were in a relationship with one of HIS friends? That's messed up.

he may want to sleep with me, but i know he wouldn't want to break our friendship because of that, plus relationship wise we are after different things i think.

genie wrote:

he is definitely not gay, and i'm reasonably attractive. i love him but in such a way that i don't have to see him each week, because i know he is going to be there for me. lets put it this way i wouldn't mind being with him now, but knowing how fucking difficult relationships can be i'd rather leave him to be my friend forever.

Well, here's the thing. He already showed he "was" interested in you. That doesn't fade. It's only been 3 years. Report back in 3 more years. Remember when it does happen.... "saveuplife told me so".

genie

saveuplife wrote:

He asked you out while you were in a relationship with one of HIS friends? That's messed up.

he may want to sleep with me, but i know he wouldn't want to break our friendship because of that, plus relationship wise we are after different things i think.



Well, here's the thing. He already showed he "was" interested in you. That doesn't fade. It's only been 3 years. Report back in 3 more years. Remember when it does happen.... "saveuplife told me so".

i was single when he saw me and then when he spoke to me again i was erm... dating. so he didn't know.

Sian-of-the-dead

I used to have a friend I told everything, he was one of the best friends I ever had and I KNEW had feelings for me, he'd told me. I still told him about meeting someone and going to see them, I used to text him everyday... I wasn't rubbing it in, I was just telling my friend about my life and feelings. Except I hid my real feelings for him, from him and myself.

That friend has been my boyfriend now for over 10 months. His patience paid off. He's the most incredible person in the world and still my best friend... I just fell in love with him.

I'm not saying your outcome will be the same but don't lose hope. Sometime's it just takes time.. Sometimes it doesn't. I'm not saying it will end how you want it to, for now you should just be happy that you have such a wonderful person in your life. What will be, will be.

polaris

genie wrote:

in a way he is better off, because i respect him, everyone else who's been my boyfriend i don't.

anyways, what do you all want from a girl who can't make friends easily amongst women? i don't think my female "friends" know what bonding means.
i have to be extra fucking nice to my female friends, and if i piss them off only once they don't wanna sort it out they just ignore me. bitches, sorry

you are definitely not the only woman that has that problem ... i think you should give your friend a try ... when all is said and done - we want to be with someone who accepts us for who we are ... he knows all your faults and your strengths ... that stuff is priceless

StrummingGnome

I will never allow a woman to be my "close friend" because what is happening to you JS is what happens to all of us men at some point in our lives and it can happen more than once (if you allow it to happen again).

A similar incident happened to me a few years ago. Me and a girl met when we were eleven years old. She was my first female friend, (I am more of a man's man than a ladies man). It was platonic for around five years until I began to fall for her and gradually over a year I had fallen for her. As she went through her teenage years she flourished into a beautiful, gentle and intelligent women with a love for adventure and life. The problem is she had a boyfriend at the time and she had been dating him for two years by then. The following year was obsolete and hellish to the extremes, high moods met with low moods to create all the magnitude of an atomic bomb landing on Hiroshima such was the feelings of frustration, hopelessness and gloom that I endured.

Two years had past since I had fallen for this girl, I was still her closest friend and I was still there for her and never once abused my position as her friend and then a further six months before passed before she broke up with her boyfriend. He had been cheating on her for three months prior to their break up and my friend found out when she went snooping through his MSN message history! I was there for her, I comforted her through the rough times that lasted for about three months and during that time the chemistry between us began to become stronger, she became more responsive to wards me and one night in October we kissed for the first time, I remember it well, it was shortly after we met up with all our friends to go and watch a band performance in a music club in Camden Town. A few days later we went bowling together and spent the day and night together in her empty house (her parents had gone to visit her mother's sister). Yeah, we had sex and she was my first and my last! We even held hands and talked about getting together. We never got together because in the midst of our courtship, her ex boyfriend came back onto the scene and she chose him over me, because she loved him and she loved me as a friend and nothing more. She broke my heart and I felt lied to and cheated on. I took me a long time to get over what happened and to move on, because I had rebuild everything, my self esteem, my confidence, my enjoyment of life and my trust in people.

I don't blame her for what happened to me, I blame myself for what happened, because I should have prevented my feelings for her growing and flourishing into a false dawn. I learnt a lot from this experience! I learnt that I was nothing more than rebound and it is not wise to get involved with someone who is fresh out of a long term commitment and I learnt that having women as a close friend has more negative connotations than it does positive ones.

Make sure a similar incident doesn't happen to you, because believe me it's absolute torture and I wouldn't wish what happened to me on anyone else! I still have emotional scars from the experience.

saveuplife

genie wrote:

in a way he is better off, because i respect him, everyone else who's been my boyfriend i don't.


anyways, what do you all want from a girl who can't make friends easily amongst women? i don't think my female "friends" know what bonding means.
i have to be extra fucking nice to my female friends, and if i piss them off only once they don't wanna sort it out they just ignore me. bitches, sorry

See here's my opinion, and yes, it's just one person's opinion:

Guys who have female friends are typically passive aggressive. TYPICALLY (not all the time), they want the girl, but don't have the balls to say so. So, they sit and wait (procrastinate) until the "right" time comes. They rarely ever act on the right time, because the right time has already passed.

Girls who have only male friends are typically in need of some sort of male-approval and typically don't have much confidence. They want to be around guys because they know guys will consistently flirt with anything that has boobs and is around. This makes them feel good about themselves, but ironically it completely hurts their chances at meeting a "new" guy. These girls end up getting upset when the guys all end up in relationships and they are left alone.

I've never understood either.

genie

polaris wrote:

you are definitely not the only woman that has that problem ... i think you should give your friend a try ... when all is said and done - we want to be with someone who accepts us for who we are ... he knows all your faults and your strengths ... that stuff is priceless

whatever, i'm going to talk nonsense now, but i wish one day i can find a masculine woman with a male outlook on life with whom i will connect and be friends till death

polaris

genie wrote:

whatever, i'm going to talk nonsense now, but i wish one day i can find a masculine woman with a male outlook on life with whom i will connect and be friends till death

i know lots ... but no one in london ...

genie

polaris wrote:

i know lots ... but no one in london ...

don't be greedy send few of them over here!

locked

greaticedtea wrote:

my roommate last year told me that permanently being in the friend zone is like a company interviewing you and then hiring a less-qualified employee. however, the company will use you as a model example and will keep complaining to you about the employee they hired over you. and i find it scary how true this is. !

nailed it...

I find too many women want a "gay male friend" type.. to tell all their troubles..

Its like a rest stop between boyfriends..

As Oprah-fied as woman in america profess to be ..
they will always divide men into two categories..
1) Men they will have sex with..
2) Men they won't have sex with..

ask yourself this questions..
if you are not getting any..
which line are you go stand in?

I want to be the guy who gets the dirty side of a girl..