I am so proud of everyone...I have laughed at every joke on here.
Turd in your pocket...:p
How about if you fart (not me of course) and you look around and say "Did you see that mouse on a motorcycle just drive by?"
Gold.
Oh and most Seinfeld jokes...especially the pure gold Jerry and the chocolate babka and the parking in the handicap spot.
"Cinnamon takes a backseat to no babka! Time and time again, when people ask "what makes this so delicious?", the answer invariantly comes back: CINNAMON!"
Ok, I really gotta go home now...thanks to y'all for keeping me occupied @ werk for a bit.
Did you hear they're remaking the exorcist? Yea...they're changing the story a bit though. A woman calls satan to get the catholic priest outta her son.
Knock knock jokes never get old with me either.
Like the one that goes:
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
ad naseum until finally they say orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
Knock knock jokes never get old with me either.
Like the one that goes:
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
ad naseum until finally they say orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
That's terrible
How about the one where you say to someone..." I have a joke for you, say knock knock." and they go "knock knock", and you go..."who's there?" then they just look all puzzled.......try it on someone.
"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
That joke never ceases to make you laugh?
Because that is the purpose of the thread.
I have an incredibly high shock threshold. Certain things are so ridiculously offensive that I can't do anything but laugh at them. I think it keeps me sane. Rest assured, I'm the first person to take a person to task if they are genuinely sexist and abusive to women.
"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
I have an incredibly high shock threshold. Certain things are so ridiculously offensive that I can't do anything but laugh at them. I think it keeps me sane. Rest assured, I'm the first person to take a person to task if they are genuinely sexist and abusive to women.
I'm glad there's still someone here who doesn't now think I'm a girl-beating sicko
"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
Ya, but why can we still make jokes about treating women poorly, but racism and prejudice is taboo?
I never get tired of kid jokes, clean, simple ones, like:
What's green but smells like red paint?
green paint
I don't think a joke is any more offensive than the intent and mentality of the person that uses it. A joke for the sake of the joke isn't offensive. I also find some racist jokes absolutely hilarious out of context but would headbutt someone if they used it to degrade and demean a person, my best friend for instance, who is a pakistani muslim. On the other hand, I could tell him a racist joke and he'd find it hilarious too because he knows it's the actual composition of the joke that I find funny, not the content of it.
I'll give an example. In my class at school a few years back there was one black kid who was the butt of a load of jokes that I felt were tantamount to bullying, even from his so-called friends. He went along with them and it came off as friendly ribbing but perhaps indicative of an inherent ignorance amongst the people at the school. One time a classmate of mine who was, by all accounts, a racist and a total wanker, said to this guy "Ernie, you're "straight outta compton" aren't you? FENNY COMPTON!" (Fenny Compton being a little rural village in Britain). I thought the comment was both the single most perfectly thought out joke this racist twat had ever said and also one of the most offensive since it drew from all kinds of snide jabs about the fact that this guy was black. I didn't know whether to laugh or punch the guy. I think the joke itself was very funny but I don't think his reason for saying it was. I was very glad when he was told to get the fuck out of the room but I found myself impressed that the guy even had the sense of humour to put together a comment like that.
"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
Comments
"Cinnamon takes a backseat to no babka! Time and time again, when people ask "what makes this so delicious?", the answer invariantly comes back: CINNAMON!"
Ok, I really gotta go home now...thanks to y'all for keeping me occupied @ werk for a bit.
"That's it for me! Goodnight everybody!!"
(showmanship^)
Everyone knows he is a Fun GI (fun guy)
Yeah i know pretty lame, but i like it.
Charlotte 03
Asheville 04
Atlanta 12
Greenville 16, Columbia 16
Seattle 18
Nashville 22
Ohana Festival 24 x2
Funny, in so very many ways.
And you are doing something weird with your arm.
And the Doc says, "Then don't do that"
In stitches everytime....lol
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
Push him down the alps
I am still laughing.
It is great because it is not just regular funny, but it has the physical comedy aspect as well.
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
A horse goes into a pub and orders a drink, barman says to him..." Allright, why the long face?"
really, you shouldn't encourage me
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
what's the last thing to go through a bugs mind when it hits the windshield?
his asshole
me too, and I am laughing that you call them 'grapes'
"I'd like to buy a wasp please"
"I'm sorry sir, but we don't sell wasps"
"well, you have one in the window"
She says, "how ya gonna make that feel good for me?"
I say, "When I blow my load I'll stop punching you in the face"
That's a joke right?
I don't really see it.
Like the one that goes:
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
ad naseum until finally they say orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
That's terrible
How about the one where you say to someone..." I have a joke for you, say knock knock." and they go "knock knock", and you go..."who's there?"
Kick her in the face.
...
Because that is the purpose of the thread.
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
well, I didn't have you tagged for that style of humour buddy.
I like this one....
"I see that new Indoor yachting company is doing well......yeah, their sales are through the roof"
sales=sails....geddit?
Brother....is that you? How's mother?
We have got to be fucking related.
I never get tired of kid jokes, clean, simple ones, like:
What's green but smells like red paint?
green paint
"Little Susie, what does your daddy do for a living"
"My daddys a firefighter! He puts out fires and saves people!"
"Little Susie, that's wonderful! Little Bobby, what does your daddy do"
"My daddy is a policeman. He puts bad people in jail!"
"That wonderful Little Bobby"
Then she gets to Little Johnny...
"Little Johnny, what does your daddy do for a living?"
"Oh, my daddys dead"
"Oh, I'm sorry. What did he do before he died?"
"Turn blue and shit on the carpet."
I stole that punchline from somewhere but I can't recall.
I'll give an example. In my class at school a few years back there was one black kid who was the butt of a load of jokes that I felt were tantamount to bullying, even from his so-called friends. He went along with them and it came off as friendly ribbing but perhaps indicative of an inherent ignorance amongst the people at the school. One time a classmate of mine who was, by all accounts, a racist and a total wanker, said to this guy "Ernie, you're "straight outta compton" aren't you? FENNY COMPTON!" (Fenny Compton being a little rural village in Britain). I thought the comment was both the single most perfectly thought out joke this racist twat had ever said and also one of the most offensive since it drew from all kinds of snide jabs about the fact that this guy was black. I didn't know whether to laugh or punch the guy. I think the joke itself was very funny but I don't think his reason for saying it was. I was very glad when he was told to get the fuck out of the room but I found myself impressed that the guy even had the sense of humour to put together a comment like that.
If you don't like that one, I've got a better one for ya.
Here ya go:
My dad used to wash out my mouth with soap...
To get rid of the evidence.
Corroding and foreboding.