what does this saying mean to you?

brain of c

prism wrote:

no shit. in one weekend he had eleven chicks trying to hook up with him...I had to take the phone calls

he's not bad.......his sister is better!

MattCameronKicksButt

I also think that it's easier for people to tread on those that are nice because maybe they think they can get away with it.

I also remember Henry Rollins saying 'they mistake kindness with weakness' which is something worth having a think about.

Heineken Helen

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

I also think that it's easier for people to tread on those that are nice because maybe they think they can get away with it.

I seriously think we need to define 'nice'

There are several self proclaimed nice guys here whose internet personas are anything BUT... sure they can say 'well I'm not like that in REAL life' but hte fact that they can even bring themselves to say or type certain things, whether in jest or not, suggests the thoughts are there anyway.

So yeh... how many GENUINE nice guys finish last? and I mean LONG term last... I think the assholes are the ones who REALLY finish last in the end.

genie

Phantom Pain wrote:

Usually the nice guys are the ones that get shit on

Or the ones that dont get the girl, they'd rather go for the asshole rather then the nice guy

oh, please someone give me a nice guy, i'm serious i want a sweet, caring boyfriend. :(

genie

Phantom Pain wrote:

I think it goes both ways as welll with guys and girls

so true. why do people like to be treated badly, and still lust after that person?????

i always wonder

Heineken Helen

genie wrote:

so true. why do people like to be treated badly, and still lust after that person?????

i always wonder

it's a sign of seriously low self esteem. You go for what you think you deserve

Hinny

If finishing last means being continuously fucked over, then no, it's bollocks.

I would not be close to being anywhere near I am, which is in a happy place, if I set out to be a prick.

MattCameronKicksButt

Heineken Helen wrote:

I seriously think we need to define 'nice'

There are several self proclaimed nice guys here whose internet personas are anything BUT... sure they can say 'well I'm not like that in REAL life' but hte fact that they can even bring themselves to say or type certain things, whether in jest or not, suggests the thoughts are there anyway.

So yeh... how many GENUINE nice guys finish last? and I mean LONG term last... I think the assholes are the ones who REALLY finish last in the end.

I think what you've just said is very true.

I mentioned my mum once before. She's had to struggle and fight for everything in her life. She's only just started to make a good life for herself.

Maybe it's not true. Nice guys don't always finish last.

nothingman44

speaking as someone who just recently got dumped, i understand this statement.

Heineken Helen

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

I think what you've just said is very true.

I mentioned my mum once before. She's had to struggle and fight for everything in her life. She's only just started to make a good life for herself.

Maybe it's not true. Nice guys don't always finish last.

No it's not true... if you're STILL finishing last perhaps you should question the type of girl you're going for... if you go for equally nice girls, they won't treat you like shit... if you're still finishing last perhaps you need to question how nice you REALLY are.

MattCameronKicksButt

Heineken Helen wrote:

No it's not true... if you're STILL finishing last perhaps you should question the type of girl you're going for... if you go for equally nice girls, they won't treat you like shit... if you're still finishing last perhaps you need to question how nice you REALLY are.

Huh? Are you using the word 'you' as a figure of speech? I generally don't go for women but I've had a couple of women hit on me, so I can't be that awful!

Heineken Helen

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

Huh? Are you using the word 'you' as a figure of speech?

Yep sorry, don't worry I know you're a girl... but I'm just addressing the guys posting in this thread.

genie

Heineken Helen wrote:

it's a sign of seriously low self esteem. You go for what you think you deserve

alright, can it also be that this person gets very attached to people?

oh, and Happy Bank holiday!!

i was so looking forward to doing something on Monday until i realised it was holiday for Ireland :(

Heineken Helen

genie wrote:

alright, can it also be that this person gets very attached to people?

oh, and Happy Bank holiday!!

i was so looking forward to doing something on Monday until i realised it was holiday for Ireland :(

what were ya gonna do? Are you IN Ireland? I'm off to Oslo for the weekend and I really can't wait... flying tomorrow

The fact that they get attached to people easily I don't think would be the main cause. It IS self esteem pure and simply. If you attract assholes and STAY with them, why would you unless you don't believe you deserve better?

Also, there's the martyr syndrome too... I really believe some people don't WANT to be happy... or don't know what happiness is. it's the only thing I can think of to explain the behaviour of some people

genie

Heineken Helen wrote:

what were ya gonna do? Are you IN Ireland? I'm off to Oslo for the weekend and I really can't wait... flying tomorrow

The fact that they get attached to people easily I don't think would be the main cause. It IS self esteem pure and simply. If you attract assholes and STAY with them, why would you unless you don't believe you deserve better?

Also, there's the martyr syndrome too... I really believe some people don't WANT to be happy... or don't know what happiness is. it's the only thing I can think of to explain the behaviour of some people

ooohhh Oslo, interesting location! have a fantasticalicious holidays!!!

as for me, i'll be working :( i wish now that i lived in Ireland

harmless_little_f***

Story of my life

soulsinging

gue_barium wrote:

"Nice guys finish last."

I've never really been able to fathom the logic behind this old saying.

it means shy guys have a tougher time getting laid.

soulsinging

justjoshingu wrote:

i once was going after this girl with the usualy way i am. treating her well. i wrote poetry.

general tip for guys: unless you're picking up high schoolers, if you write a poem for a girl you might as well hand her your testicles too, because you are not going to need them.

FinsburyParkCarrots

I always thought it meant, a sensitive and considerate lover will make sure his wummun is raised unfolding skyward into the throbbing peaks of satchitananda and spiritual bliss, before he gets his load off.

dunkman

i took part in a creampie orgy once... all the guys were saying "dunks a nice guy.. let him finish last" ... and i did... it was not nice. :(

audiodave

justjoshingu wrote:

i dont think its a dumb saying.
i think its true.

if two people get bad service at a restaraunt and one is a loud obnoxious jerk and demands it get taken care of and the other person says, "excuse me miss, but i would like this please taken care of"

who gets served first?

Having worked in restaurants for a number of years, I can tell you it's NOT the person who makes a huge fuss out of it. No matter what you do, that person is not going to be satisfied, so why go out your way to TRY and please them when they came out with the intention of complaining in the first place. People do do this, i've seen it a LOT. If someone is nice, and polite and doesn't kick up a fuss, then they will probably get served first, and i'll be more than happy to do it. But maybe that's just me, as i'm not impressed by loud, obnoxious people.

RolandTD20Kdrummer wrote:

It basically means nice guys are boring and usually push overs at times of conflict. Replace finish last with wimpy and boring.

It's a loose association that fits overall due to the fact that women are swayed by alpha type dominant personalities.

Evolutionary trait courtesy of natural selection.

In my opinion...this is complete BS. Certainly, there are a portion of nice guys who are boring and pushovers...but then there are a portion of horrible guys who are boring. And not all nice guys are pushovers. Not everyone feels the need to step on everyone else to stand up for themselves. I think you'll find a lot of people have more respect for nice people than for the horrible ones. Intimidation can only get you so far.

Perhaps evolution would weed out some of the more "wimpy" nice guys, who happen to be nice AND stupid, but while all the horrible guys are walking round bashing eachother over the head with a club, some of the smarter nice guys will be figuring out a way to outsmart them and turn their macho idiocy to their advantage.

Heineken Helen wrote:

EXACTLY! And I also think that many guys who come last automatically place themselves in the 'nice' basket and presume that's why they come last. I also think that some people confuse 'nice' for 'well I've nothing else going for me so I MUST be nice' OR the kinda guy who doesn't know how to act with women... so they may finish 'last' just because he hasn't managed to convey his niceness and the girl's not bloody psychic.

I think I'm nice but I don't blame my single status on the fact that I'm nice :rolleyes: just haven't met the right person yet.

I agree with you on your first point. A lot of people use it as an excuse for failure, and just label themselves as "nice" as if it's a get out of jail free card. You can't always wait for life to come and present you with everything you want, sometimes you have to go out and find it yourself.
Also, a lot of the time, guys who call themselves nice, or girls tend to think are nice, I find to be really slimy and horrible. I don't know how some people don't see it...but like so many have said, I guess it depends how you perceive "nice".


I think Jeanie and Brain Of J. Lo hit the nail on the head with this one. All about how you measure success, and how you define nice. How do you measure success? In terms of money? Relationships? How happy you are? It means something different to everyone. What constitutes success to someone might mean failure to someone else. Bottom line is, you don't have to live up to anyone's expectations, other than your own.

Personally, I think i'm a four letter word beginning with C, but people often tell me that i'm "nice". Am I successful? Probably not in a lot of people's eyes, but in my own eyes I am content with my life.

soulsinging wrote:

general tip for guys: unless you're picking up high schoolers, if you write a poem for a girl you might as well hand her your testicles too, because you are not going to need them.

:rolleyes::D

This made me laugh.

decides2dream

Phantom Pain wrote:

I think it goes both ways as well with guys and girls

exactly.


personally, i think far too many utilize this cliche as a crutch, instead of truly seeing the 'whys' of their own behavior, their choices, their relationships.....isn't it just so much easier to deflect it all with a tired, old phrase? too many prefer not to look within.







oooooooooo...and just a little 'spin' on it.....
truly NICE guys do finish last, b/c they make sure their partners get to it first.

Brain of J.Lo

gue_barium wrote:

Now this kind of makes sense to me.
How do you define "niceness?" How does one defne "success?" Is a nice person "successful" just by being nice?

Most people here are relating to the guy that gets lost in the shuffle of the dating game, and I suppose that's sort of how I think of it, too, in the way I've heard it over the years... On the other hand, there's the nice guy who's been with over 200 women sexually... how does one say that's he's really a nice guy?

Or is that a different category of "nice?"

My definition of nice is: looks at other people with compassion and empathy, is kind, doesn't try to take advantage of someone for their own benefit...

As far as success...everyone defines it differently. In this case, I just mean that success is getting what you want.

So...I don't want to compromise my own kindness and/or hurt someone else in order to get something I want...whatever that may be. And, I think that "nice guys finish last" when they do the same...because often, if you aren't the one being an asshole to get ahead, some other guy will happily step up and do it for you....and you might be left behind.

AmentsChick

I think it's a bunch of blarney! I always go for the nice guy. Wouldn't have it any other way!

prism

these days it takes a nice guy to get on my track to the finish


in my opinion if a person isn't nice then I don't see them as being successful. it's kindness and what's in their heart (even if that just means sharing a smile or laugh) that says that they're a success.
I don't give a shit how much $ they make, how big their house is or what material things they possess....if they think that those things make them successful well then goody for them i guess....to me those things don't define a person as being successful

Anon

gue_barium wrote:

Is that true, though, or is that just coming from somebody's bitterness?

I'd say it's true most of the time...

Ahnimus

You can't tell which way the train went by staring at the tracks.

Spunkie

He who laughs last, laughs hardest.

Tizoffthechain

I've never heard this b4 but it made me think that nice guys will have an orgasm after the girl, so they finish last! Sorry!

Jeremy1012

gue_barium wrote:

Is that true, though, or is that just coming from somebody's bitterness?

I would say it's entirely true. It is most definitely true when dealing with the opposite sex. how many girls have told you that you're so sweet and not like other guys but really, when it comes down to it, it's the other guys who are sharing their bed?

Nice guys finish last fer sure.