I'm thinking about buying a cannon

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Comments

  • tybird
    tybird Posts: 17,388
    cutback wrote:
    you do mean this, right? :p:D
    Zing!!!!!!
    All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a thousand enemies, and whenever they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you, digger, listener, runner, prince with the swift warning. Be cunning and full of tricks and your people shall never be destroyed.
  • harmless_little_f***
    harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    OK... so from now on, the rest of the thread is dedicated to jokes about pistol whipping with a cannon. Get it out of your fucking systems. :D
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • MattCameronKicksButt
    MattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    Noooo don't be silly, you can't put a cannon in a drawer. :rolleyes:

    I'm gonna put it on my wheelchair.

    Now THAT'S a good idea! I'm sorry I misunderstood. ;)
  • Vedderlution_Baby
    Vedderlution_Baby Posts: 2,535
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    Noooo don't be silly, you can't put a cannon in a drawer. :rolleyes:

    I'm gonna put it on my wheelchair.


    Dude, if you put that fucking cannon on your wheelchair that would the most badass fucking thing fucking ever. You could get around to place is NO TIME. just aim the cannon the opposite direction you want to go, put on your helmet and earplugs (if you're a pussy) and FIRE! Bam! You're fucking there!
  • urbanhippie
    urbanhippie Posts: 3,007
    Vedderlution_Baby! wrote:
    Dude, if you put that fucking cannon on your wheelchair that would the most badass fucking thing fucking ever. You could get around to place is NO TIME. just aim the cannon the opposite direction you want to go, put on your helmet and earplugs (if you're a pussy) and FIRE! Bam! You're fucking there!
    LMFAO :D
    A human being that was given to fly.

    Wembley 18/06/07

    If there was a reason, it was you.

    O2 Arena 18/09/09
  • harmless_little_f***
    harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    My new advertising slogan:

    Harmless: the most badass fucking thing fucking ever
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • tybird
    tybird Posts: 17,388
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    My new advertising slogan:

    Harmless: the most badass fucking thing fucking ever
    Shouldn't you add ", bitch!!" to the end of the slogan????
    All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a thousand enemies, and whenever they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you, digger, listener, runner, prince with the swift warning. Be cunning and full of tricks and your people shall never be destroyed.
  • Vedderlution_Baby
    Vedderlution_Baby Posts: 2,535
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    My new advertising slogan:

    Harmless: the most badass fucking thing fucking ever


    I swear I'm adding that to my sig right now.
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    Humpty Dumpty was a cannon used to defend St Mary's at the Wall, a Cavalier stronghold, from the Roundhead siege of Colchester. The Roundheads blasted the Wall sometime in July 1648, and the cannon fell. All the King's horses and all the King's men couldn't put humpty together again.

    What do you want one of those fakkers for? They break like dogshit in a heatwave.
    this made me laugh.

    thank you.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • eyedclaar
    eyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    My new advertising slogan:

    Harmless: the most badass fucking thing fucking ever

    Ha! You may want to adopt a song my band wrote for your theme music. It was called, "Fuck All You MotherFuckin' Fuckers." Yeah, it was written for the children of the world, but you are welcome to it.
    Idaho's Premier Outdoor Writer

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  • harmless_little_f***
    harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    eyedclaar wrote:
    Ha! You may want to adopt a song my band wrote for your theme music. It was called, "Fuck All You MotherFuckin' Fuckers." Yeah, it was written for the children of the world, but you are welcome to it.

    Do I have to make a donation?
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • Vedderlution_Baby
    Vedderlution_Baby Posts: 2,535
    eyedclaar wrote:
    Ha! You may want to adopt a song my band wrote for your theme music. It was called, "Fuck All You MotherFuckin' Fuckers." Yeah, it was written for the children of the world, but you are welcome to it.


    Sounds pretty folksy.
  • Jeremy1012
    Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    I'm going to buy a howitzer.

    And some petrol and polystyrene. Then the next mo'fucka who crosses me, I'm gonna embrace his face with napalm.
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • harmless_little_f***
    harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    Jeremy1012 wrote:
    I'm going to buy a howitzer.

    And some petrol and polystyrene. Then the next mo'fucka who crosses me, I'm gonna embrace his face with napalm.

    hahaha 'embrace his face' is quite romantic in a homo erotic way, and then you put 'with napalm' at the end.
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • MattCameronKicksButt
    MattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    hahaha 'embrace his face' is quite romantic in a homo erotic way, and then you put 'with napalm' at the end.

    Yeah. It sounds like some kind of gay, sadomasochist thing, Jamie.

    (I wish I never wrote that). :D
  • dunkman
    dunkman Posts: 19,646
    GraySaturday wrote:
    I love a man with a cannon.. ;)

    Even better when its a massive cannon.. get a massive cannon to make the ladies swoon


    Castle Fuckula has 16 cannons... and i have giant one in the bedroom i only let off on special occasions... Blissmas i call it ;)
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • Vedderlution_Baby
    Vedderlution_Baby Posts: 2,535
    dunkman wrote:
    Castle Fuckula has 16 cannons... and i have giant one in the bedroom i only let off on special occasions... Blissmas i call it ;)


    I can't believe it took this long for a sexual cannon joke.
  • harmless_little_f***
    harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    Vedderlution_Baby! wrote:
    I can't believe it took this long for a sexual cannon joke.

    I think you'll find Urbanhippie got there first...
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • MattCameronKicksButt
    MattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    Vedderlution_Baby! wrote:
    I can't believe it took this long for a sexual cannon joke.

    No, it was originally near the beginning. He was just *inverted commas* tweaking *inverted commas* it a bit.
  • Vedderlution_Baby
    Vedderlution_Baby Posts: 2,535
    aaaaahhhhhh, i see it. Well, dunkman is back to sucking.

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