Acquaintance Rape

Jeanie

redrock wrote:

There was plenty of that going on. This thread needs to end. It is getting more and more personal and nasty (if that was at all possible!)

No! No! It was genuine concern red! Did you miss that??
You must be a laboring under that victim mentality. :rolleyes: Poor girl!

redrock

Oops Jeanie... I misunderstood everything

chadwick

I'm pritty sure I said this before.
I'll say it again.
This thread is out of control.
Now people are fighting amongst themselves
because of different opinions.
Wouldn't it be a nice to give each other
a little bit more compassion & respect.
I dunno, that's just me.

AllNiteThing

The Champ wrote:

I took it for granted that no one in their right mind thought that she would invite a man she just met at the bus stop over. I don't think anyone would invite a total stranger over like that, would they? By stranger, I presumed most thought like me, was someone other than an established friend. Someone she's been flirting and chatting with casually but doesn't know that well. Someone one would invite over on a cold Winter romantic evening to see where the relationship may or may not lead..

Sounds about right.

Rygar

chadwick wrote:

I'm pritty sure I said this before.
I'll say it again.
This thread is out of control.
Now people are fighting amongst themselves
because of different opinions.
Wouldn't it be a nice to give each other
a little bit more compassion & respect.
I dunno, that's just me.

Merry Christmas asshole!

Jeanie

redrock wrote:

Oops Jeanie... I misunderstood everything

Yeah, I know! We're a dumb lot us girls!

Must make it sooo hard for the poor fellas ya know?

AllNiteThing

Heineken Helen wrote:

And I'm the patronising one... yet you say I'm not looking at it clearly cos of personal experiences... insinuating that because you haven't experienced anything like this you therefore know more about it than me?

No. I'm insinuating that because you are equating Tish's situation with the assault that happened with you that you aren't looking at it clearly. Most here are looking at it from an unbiased 3rd person point of view. You're defending Tish as though you are defending what happened to you. You do that and this discussion has turned into HH's experience vs. everyone else, rather than everyone talking about the OP's story, which it should be.

Jeanie

chadwick wrote:

I'm pritty sure I said this before.
I'll say it again.
This thread is out of control.
Now people are fighting amongst themselves
because of different opinions.
Wouldn't it be a nice to give each other
a little bit more compassion & respect.
I dunno, that's just me.

Well my dear, I'm all for compassion and respect for those that believe in mutual respect and compassion. It's not so hard to find them. See? There you are!

AllNiteThing

redrock wrote:

Just an example. This makes it sound like she picked up the guy somewhere...

Anyway, continuing this is completely useless. Tish had been chatting to a guy for over a year, he seemed a nice guy, misjudged it as he turned out to be a sod, she had a scare and she was lucky it finished well for her. End of story. People have made enough fun of her and put her down enough too.

I wasn't necessarily referring to her there. The discussion had devolved into some people defending a hypothetical woman for inviting strange men over to their house and expecting everything to be fine.

AllNiteThing

soulsinging wrote:

you may want to cut your losses here. it is completely impossible to have any sort of intelligent or rational discussion with helen on the topic of sex relations. if you say anything other than that men are scum and the man is at fault and the woman is angel, then she will call you a controlling sexist pig who wants women to be kept in their place via fear of rape... as you have discovered in this thread.

That's pretty much what I've deduced from this discussion and some of the pm's I've gotten.

The Champ

chadwick wrote:

I'm pritty sure I said this before.
I'll say it again.
This thread is out of control.
Now people are fighting amongst themselves
because of different opinions.
Wouldn't it be a nice to give each other
a little bit more compassion & respect.
I dunno, that's just me.

Me says compassion is apparent
in this erratically controlled thread
opinions are like assholes
as some wise man once said

AllNiteThing

Jeanie wrote:

Well I don't know about the rest of you ladies, but I feel like throwing up.

What have we learned?


TELL NO ONE!

Is that what you've learned?? Yikes!

How about:

1) If you've been raped or assaulted, you are the victim and should report it. The perpetrator should be punished.

2) You are sorely lacking judgement if as a woman you invite a man you barely know over to your house and act like the world turned upside down when he tries to make a move on you.

3) Common sense can keep you out of trouble and curtail many a bad situation.

But that's just me and my wild and crazy logic!!!

AllNiteThing

Heineken Helen wrote:

Hmm... so we can't use our own experiences to offer up advice or to try and help others? Or to even offer our opinion? When did this new rule come into effect? You seem to be another of the few who I piss off with everything I say just by judging your comments in this and the other thread.

You don't piss me off with EVERYTHING you say. It's just that the extreme narcissism that's sometimes injected into these discussions makes it very frustrating to get anywhere.

Heineken Helen

soulsinging wrote:

perhaps becos despite your fervent desire to believe that we all think she should have expected and deserved to be raped, we are all aware that this was a scary experience for her and we do not want to grill her about it and humiliate her.

but if you really want me to cross examine her, i'll be happy to. after all, you being proved right is probably far more important than how it affects her.

See... why can't you just leave it at the first paragraph? That's the way this whole thread has been... paragraph one makes sense and then paragraph two bitches at the person they're replying to.

AllNiteThing

soulsinging wrote:

perhaps becos despite your fervent desire to believe that we all think she should have expected and deserved to be raped, we are all aware that this was a scary experience for her and we do not want to grill her about it and humiliate her. but if you really want me to cross examine her, i'll be happy to. after all, you being proved right is probably far more important than how it affects her.

Zing.

Can we reiterate that the overdramatization of this ridiculous thread and OP is a slap in the face to REAL victims? Please. It's really getting sick how people are equating this with rape and insinuating SOME people here have no problem with that.

Heineken Helen

soulsinging wrote:

look guys, now helen is also a victim on the same level as tish with respect to being persecuted and harassed by the evil misogynists. i feel for helen so much... it's got to be tough being a martyr for the female sex :(

stop making assumptions... I meant I thought it was just me who picked UP on that. But yeh you know best

The Champ

in_hiding79 wrote:

You must toss and turn all night just itching to come online at your work and give us your useless opinions!! USELESS!!

My intelligent input to your whining responses. Your posts get old and now I won't be reading them and hopefully you will skip mine as well since you think I say only what guys want to hear...WEIRD!

I have my own mind and I really don't care what guys think..I just happen to agree with most of them at times.


Goodbye boring person..:)

hehe

I'm a guy and you have said plenty of shit that I didn't want to hear/read ..

Heineken Helen

Jeanie wrote:

What's the matter? Is she stealing your limelight?

Shite, awww Conor you shoulda told me to stop and I woulda!

Jeanie

AllNiteThing wrote:

Is that what you've learned?? Yikes!

How about:

1) If you've been raped or assaulted, you are the victim and should report it. The perpetrator should be punished.

2) You are sorely lacking judgement if as a woman you invite a man you barely know over to your house and act like the world turned upside down when he tries to make a move on you.

3) Common sense can keep you out of trouble and curtail many a bad situation.

But that's just me and my wild and crazy logic!!!

I've read enough of your opinions on how everybody else should conduct their life thank you very much. I really don't see any point to taking anything you've said on board. AND I might add that it's attitudes like the ones you've been spewing forth here that lead me to the conclusion that if you are raped or even almost raped that you would be well advised NOT TELLING ANYONE because WHO in their right mind would want to have to put up with all this crap ON TOP of the attack? But thanks for your input.

soulsinging

redrock wrote:

There was plenty of that going on. This thread needs to end. It is getting more and more personal and nasty (if that was at all possible!)

nobody has grilled tish. she was gone for most of it while people debated the various possible scenarios. then she came back and posted how she knew she was foolish and would be more careful and how humiliating it was. and helen was the one who acted like we all should have pounced on her to demand answers, which did not happen. becos nobody wants that. we want to discuss what happened (not a rape or a sex assault) and why (he doesn't understand no and she doesn't understand what a booty call is apparently).