Acquaintance Rape

Heineken Helen

AllNiteThing wrote:

Damn, such hostility and personal attacks. Again, don't know why you're taking this so personally. Like I said, I don't think you're looking at this clearly because of that, but I digress...

where did I personally attack you?

And I'm the patronising one... yet you say I'm not looking at it clearly cos of personal experiences... insinuating that because you haven't experienced anything like this you therefore know more about it than me?

Rygar

Heineken Helen wrote:

Huh? They were calling him a STRANGER to dramatise their points... sounds like she knew him better than the guy I considered to be a friend.

It did? Didn't sound like she knew him very well at all to me...like the person you'd buy your coffee from every morning on the way to work or something...

Rygar

The Champ wrote:

I took it for granted that no one in their right mind thought that she would invite a man she just met at the bus stop over. I don't think anyone would invite a total stranger over like that, would they? By stranger, I presumed most thought like me, was someone other than an established friend. Someone she's been flirting and chatting with casually but doesn't know that well. Someone one would invite over on a cold Winter romantic evening to see where the relationship may or may not lead..

This seems pretty accurate to me.

soulsinging

tish wrote:

Yes, I demonstrated poor judgement inviting the man (that I have had small-talk with for a year) over without making my get-to-know him better intentions crystal clear. I won't put my self in that predicament again.

His behaviour truly disgusted me. His solicitations made me want to jump in the shower and scrub myself after he left. (Insert shudder here.)

I very much appreciated tips on keeping safe while dating. I'm usually in long-term relationships.

Trespassing, hey. Who knew?

was he the hot neighbor you mentioned in your other thread?

redrock

The Champ wrote:

I took it for granted that no one in their right mind thought that she would invite a man she just met at the bus stop over. I don't think anyone would invite a total stranger over like that, would they? By stranger, I presumed most thought like me, was someone other than an established friend. Someone she's been flirting and chatting with casually but doesn't know that well. Someone one would invite over on a cold Winter romantic evening to see where the relationship may or may not lead..

AllNiteThing wrote:

If you as a woman want to invite complete strangers over to your house

Just an example. This makes it sound like she picked up the guy somewhere...

Anyway, continuing this is completely useless. Tish had been chatting to a guy for over a year, he seemed a nice guy, misjudged it as he turned out to be a sod, she had a scare and she was lucky it finished well for her. End of story. People have made enough fun of her and put her down enough too.

soulsinging

AllNiteThing wrote:

It means some of you (ahem) are projecting crimes and assaults in places where none occurred. Why is that? Because you are quick to point a finger? Because you secretly distrust all men and already presume that he is at fault or did something wrong? I don't know, you tell me, but it certainly comes off as overdramatic and victimization syndrome.

you may want to cut your losses here. it is completely impossible to have any sort of intelligent or rational discussion with helen on the topic of sex relations. if you say anything other than that men are scum and the man is at fault and the woman is angel, then she will call you a controlling sexist pig who wants women to be kept in their place via fear of rape... as you have discovered in this thread.

The Champ

Rygar wrote:

This seems pretty accurate to me.

Common sense..

The Champ

redrock wrote:

Just an example. This makes it sound like she picked up the guy somewhere...

Anyway, continuing this is completely useless. Tish had been chatting to a guy for over a year, he seemed a nice guy, misjudged it as he turned out to be a sod, she had a scare and she was lucky it finished well for her. End of story. People have made enough fun of her and put her down enough too.

Right, but common sense would tell you that the guy obviously wasn't a complete 'stranger' by definition. A 'complete' stranger could be a person you chit-chat with but don't know very well, as described by tish and in this thread ....A 'stranger' by definition is not the issue here..

The Champ

soulsinging wrote:

you may want to cut your losses here. it is completely impossible to have any sort of intelligent or rational discussion with helen

I don't know about the rest of you, but clearly there is nothing left to discuss. I'm just determined to get the last word in on this one, just to spite Helen ..

Jeanie

Well I don't know about the rest of you ladies, but I feel like throwing up.

What have we learned?


TELL NO ONE!

lalalalaaaaaaaa

For any late-comers, here are the Cliff Notes for this thread:

People are obsessed with tish.




that's about it...

Heineken Helen

AllNiteThing wrote:

It means some of you (ahem) are projecting crimes and assaults in places where none occurred. Why is that? Because you are quick to point a finger? Because you secretly distrust all men and already presume that he is at fault or did something wrong? I don't know, you tell me, but it certainly comes off as overdramatic and victimization syndrome.



Excuse me for being concerned for the safety of women. :rolleyes: Apparently you have a rosier outlook on the world, but I've seen enough of the news and know enough people who have been in dangerous situations. REAL victims. I know that women are assaulted by men much more than the other way around and it doesn't usually occur when they are surrounded by friends. Excuse me for thinking inviting a strange man to your place sounds like poor judgement. Apparently my logic is faulty. :rolleyes:



A strange man? Yes. A man you're interested in? Yes. A longtime friend or family member? No. Wow, that logic was tough to type out, you think you got it? Regardless of what you want or expect, if you invite a STRANGE man or romantic interest over, YES, you should EXPECT him to make a move. This way you are on guard. If he doesn't, oh well. You would be stupid to be naive about it.




Wow, that's out of left field. Thanks for the demonizing attempt at minimizing my opinions. This in no way reflects anything that I've said.




Your ENTIRE argument revolves around projecting your personal victim story onto the OP's shady situation. Not EVERY thread is about you, HH.



Wow, thanks for presuming what my life experiences are. I'm sure you just summed it up. :rolleyes: (that one was deserved)



Yea, sure. :rolleyes:

Hmm... so we can't use our own experiences to offer up advice or to try and help others? Or to even offer our opinion? When did this new rule come into effect? You seem to be another of the few who I piss off with everything I say just by judging your comments in this and the other thread.

Heineken Helen

soulsinging wrote:

you may want to cut your losses here. it is completely impossible to have any sort of intelligent or rational discussion with helen on the topic of sex relations. if you say anything other than that men are scum and the man is at fault and the woman is angel, then she will call you a controlling sexist pig who wants women to be kept in their place via fear of rape... as you have discovered in this thread.

Huh? What's with all the fucking personal attacks here? And for YOU to say it's impossible to have a rational discussion with ME aboutu sex relations? Classic! :rolleyes:

Heineken Helen

Jeanie wrote:

Well I don't know about the rest of you ladies, but I feel like throwing up.

What have we learned?


TELL NO ONE!

I thought it was just me

I'm guessing there are a few others who don't wanna post cos of the personal attack first on Tish and then on me... fucking ridiculous!

soulsinging

Heineken Helen wrote:

thanks for the update tish... funny that there's no reply from the lads on that one... oh and they wanna know what you were wearing

Sorry you felt like that.

perhaps becos despite your fervent desire to believe that we all think she should have expected and deserved to be raped, we are all aware that this was a scary experience for her and we do not want to grill her about it and humiliate her. but if you really want me to cross examine her, i'll be happy to. after all, you being proved right is probably far more important than how it affects her.

in_hiding79

Heineken Helen wrote:

Hehehehehe indeed :rolleyes: thanks for your intelligent input

You must toss and turn all night just itching to come online at your work and give us your useless opinions!! USELESS!!

My intelligent input to your whining responses. Your posts get old and now I won't be reading them and hopefully you will skip mine as well since you think I say only what guys want to hear...WEIRD!

I have my own mind and I really don't care what guys think..I just happen to agree with most of them at times.


Goodbye boring person..:)

hehe

Jeanie

Heineken Helen wrote:

I thought it was just me

I'm guessing there are a few others who don't wanna post cos of the personal attack first on Tish and then on me... fucking ridiculous!

Oh NEVER think that love! It's not you trust me.

I'm quite sure that there are more than a few people that don't want to post because of the appalling behaviour thats gone on.

soulsinging

Heineken Helen wrote:

I thought it was just me

I'm guessing there are a few others who don't wanna post cos of the personal attack first on Tish and then on me... fucking ridiculous!

look guys, now helen is also a victim on the same level as tish with respect to being persecuted and harassed by the evil misogynists. i feel for helen so much... it's got to be tough being a martyr for the female sex :(

Jeanie

soulsinging wrote:

look guys, now helen is also a victim on the same level as tish with respect to being persecuted and harassed by the evil misogynists. i feel for helen so much... it's got to be tough being a martyr for the female sex :(

What's the matter? Is she stealing your limelight?

redrock

soulsinging wrote:

and we do not want to grill her about it and humiliate her.

There was plenty of that going on. This thread needs to end. It is getting more and more personal and nasty (if that was at all possible!)