Submit your favorite Chuck Norris facts
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Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse, horses are hung like Chuck Norris0
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Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather, roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
Chuck Norris is the only one able to email a roundhouse kick.0 -
Chuck Norris urine is an alternative fuel souce0
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*Marker in the Sand Fanclub * HNIC
Philly- 2005, 2013, 2016, 2024
Camden 2000, 2003, 2006, 2008, 2022, 2023
Philly Spectrum 2009 x4 - We closed that MFER Down Proper
Baltimore- 2024
Pittsburgh- 2025
DC- 2006, 2008
New York- 2008, 2010
Boston - Fenway 2016 (night 2) , 2024 (night1)
East Rutherford, New Jersey- 2006
Chicago - Lollapalooza 2007
Seattle- Gorge 2005
EV Solo- DC x2, Baltimore x2 , Newark NJ x2, Tower Theater x2
- Given To Fly0 -
Chuck Norris makes hamburgers by throwing cows at a chain link fence.Chicago 2000 : Chicago 2003 : Chicago 2006 : Summerfest 2006 : Lollapalooza 2007 : Chicago 2009 : Noblesville (Indy) 2010 : PJ20 (East Troy) 2011 : Wrigley Field 2013 : Milwaukee (Yield) 2014 : Wrigley Field 20160
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Chuck Norris makes onions cry0
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.
Those aren't credits that roll at the end of Walker, Texas Ranger...they are a list of fatalities that occured during filming."The customer...is always...an ASSHOLE"
"The world fascinates me."
"Doesn't mean that much to me, to mean that much to you"0 -
Didn't read through them all, but my favorite....
Chuck Norris is not hung like horse...horses are hung like Chuck Norris.Columbia 96/98;Randall's Island 96;Tibetan Freedom 97;Late Show 98;Camden 98/00/03/06/08;E Rutherford 98/06;MSG 98/03/08;VF Choice (DC) 98;Uniondale 03;State College 03;Holmdel 03;VF Change (Reading) 04;AC 05;Philly 05; Lolla 07.....[EV Newark 08]0 -
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.Nashville-00
Nashville-03
Chicago-07
E.V. Milwaukee-08
Chicago 1 & 2-09
Alpine Valley 1 & 2-11
Wrigley-13
St. Paul-14
Milwaukee-14
Denver-22
St. Paul 1 & 2 - 230 -
There is no such things as lesbians, just women who haven't met Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.Take me for a ride before we leave...0 -
One day on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a baby lamb being used for a shot dies. Chuck Norris revives the lamb and then gives it a round house kick to the face killing it instantly, just to prove that Chuck giveth and Chuck taketh away.Nathan0
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chuck norris is pearljamjen's #1 man of her dreams.scratching my butt...
kinakamot ang aking puwit...
me rascando pompis...
krap mijn reet...
boku no ketsuoana o kizu...
bahrosh teezy...0 -
Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.0
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Chuck Norris was one of the original fighters in the video game Street Fighter, but every button pressed caused him to perform a roundhouse kick.
When asked about the glitch, Chuck replied "that's no glitch."0 -
dunkman wrote:Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
nice dunk!I love to turn you on0 -
Chuck Norris can play the violin....
on the piano.~*~*~*~*PROUD EVENFLOW PSYCHO #0026~*~*~*~*
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^RED MOSQUITO #2^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
Dublin 08/06
Katowice 06/07 London 06/07 Dusseldorf 06/07 Nijgemen 06/070 -
Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives."The customer...is always...an ASSHOLE"
"The world fascinates me."
"Doesn't mean that much to me, to mean that much to you"0 -
The only ass Chuck Norris can't kick is Chuck Norris's_____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '140
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