Submit your favorite Chuck Norris facts

24

Comments

  • patrickredeyes
    patrickredeyes Posts: 8,834
    Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
  • blackredyellow
    blackredyellow Posts: 5,889
    Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

    Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

    Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

    Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

    Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

    It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

    Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
    My whole life
    was like a picture
    of a sunny day
    “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
    ― Abraham Lincoln
  • PaperPlates
    PaperPlates Posts: 1,745
    Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. EVER

    If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.

    The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.

    Guns don't kill people, Chuck Norris kills people.

    Chuck Norris' calender goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. Noone fools Chuck Norris.

    They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

    Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
    Why go home

    www.myspace.com/jensvad
  • PJSerf
    PJSerf Posts: 637
    The original title for the Bible was "Chuck Norris and Friends"
    "If you love someone, set them free... if someone loves you, don't fuck up" - EV
  • pjfan31
    pjfan31 Posts: 7,335
    chuck norris's toilets flush whatever fucking direction he tells it to flush.

    Great thread, it is funny
    Sydney 11/02/2003
    Sydney 14/02/2003
    Sydney 07/11/2006
    Sydney 18/11/2006
    Sydney 22/11/2009
    EV Sydney 18/03/2011
    EV Sydney 19/03/2011
    EV Sydney 20/03/2011
    Melbourne 24/01/2014
    Sydney 26/01/2014
    EV Sydney 13/02/2014
  • pjsteelerfan
    pjsteelerfan Maryland Posts: 9,905
    chuck norris counted to infinity. twice.
    ...got a mind full of questions and a teacher in my soul...
  • rhinomagic
    rhinomagic Charlottesville, VA Posts: 2,553
    Chuck Norris shot the sheriff. Then he roundhouse-kicked the deputy.

    .
    Memphis 1994
    New Orleans 1995
    Fort Lauderdale 1996
    Atlanta & Birmingham 1998
    New Orleans 2000
    Tampa 2003
    Kissimmee 2004
    New York City (x 2) 2008
    East Troy (x 2) 2011
    Chicago & New Orleans 2013
    Hampton, Raleigh, Boston 2016
    Baltimore 2020
    Louisville 2022
    Philadelphia & Baltimore 2024
  • AllIAm
    AllIAm Posts: 1,309
    Chuck Norris CAN talk about Fight Club
  • robbyblaylock
    robbyblaylock Posts: 428
    chuck norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his rage

    chuck norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

    when urinating, chuck norris is capable of welding titanium.

    chuck norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. at night.

    chuck norris doesnt stub his toes. he accidently destroys chairs, bedframes and sidewalks.



    i could do this all day!!! great thread!!!
  • Vedderlution_Baby
    Vedderlution_Baby Posts: 2,535
    Chuck Norris is a douche bag.



    That's my favorite!
  • mole1985
    mole1985 Posts: 1,119
    Lizard wrote:
    - There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.

    God i love family guy...
    Dublin 2006
    Katowice 2007
    London 2007
  • pearljamjen
    pearljamjen Posts: 13,578
    Bump for Suns Rival ;)
  • RolandTD20Kdrummer
    RolandTD20Kdrummer Posts: 13,066
    He never shits...nor does he need to.
    Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
    and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
    over specific principles, goals, and policies.

    http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg

    (\__/)
    ( o.O)
    (")_(")
  • LoveBoatAdmiral
    LoveBoatAdmiral Posts: 1,191
    Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird
    2006- Boston I
    2008- Boston I+II
    2009- Toronto, Philly III+IV
    2010- Bristow, Hartford, Boston, Newark
  • mnicole22
    mnicole22 Posts: 417
    Chuck Norris can win a game of Tic Tac Toe in one move.
    AKA Cinnamon Girl :(

    05-10-06
    08-05-07
    06-14-08
    08-12-08 (EV)
  • LoveBoatAdmiral
    LoveBoatAdmiral Posts: 1,191
    Chuck Norris once dialed a wrong number, even though the guy on the other line wouldn't admit it.



    Chuck Norris created the earth in 6 days. Unlike God, he needs no rest.
    2006- Boston I
    2008- Boston I+II
    2009- Toronto, Philly III+IV
    2010- Bristow, Hartford, Boston, Newark
  • Cocaine_Nosejob
    Cocaine_Nosejob Posts: 1,744
    Chuck Norris does not wear condoms, there is no protection from Chuck Norris.
    "The customer...is always...an ASSHOLE"

    "The world fascinates me."

    "Doesn't mean that much to me, to mean that much to you"

  • aspoonfulweighsaton
    aspoonfulweighsaton Posts: 2,067
    Jesus turned water into wine, but Chuck Norris turned the wine into beer.
  • Cocaine_Nosejob
    Cocaine_Nosejob Posts: 1,744
    There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer...Chuck Norris is always in control.

    Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table of elements, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
    "The customer...is always...an ASSHOLE"

    "The world fascinates me."

    "Doesn't mean that much to me, to mean that much to you"

  • suns rival
    suns rival Posts: 15,926
    pearljamjen wrote:
    Bump for Suns Rival ;)

    yaiks!!!
    scratching my butt...
    kinakamot ang aking puwit...
    me rascando pompis...
    krap mijn reet...
    boku no ketsuoana o kizu...
    bahrosh teezy...

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