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Submit your favorite Chuck Norris facts

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  • mole1985mole1985 Posts: 1,119
    Lizard wrote:
    - There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.

    God i love family guy...
    Dublin 2006
    Katowice 2007
    London 2007
  • pearljamjenpearljamjen Posts: 13,578
    Bump for Suns Rival ;)
  • RolandTD20KdrummerRolandTD20Kdrummer Posts: 13,066
    He never shits...nor does he need to.
    Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
    and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
    over specific principles, goals, and policies.

    http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg

    (\__/)
    ( o.O)
    (")_(")
  • LoveBoatAdmiralLoveBoatAdmiral Posts: 1,191
    Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird
    2006- Boston I
    2008- Boston I+II
    2009- Toronto, Philly III+IV
    2010- Bristow, Hartford, Boston, Newark
  • mnicole22mnicole22 Posts: 417
    Chuck Norris can win a game of Tic Tac Toe in one move.
    AKA Cinnamon Girl :(

    05-10-06
    08-05-07
    06-14-08
    08-12-08 (EV)
  • LoveBoatAdmiralLoveBoatAdmiral Posts: 1,191
    Chuck Norris once dialed a wrong number, even though the guy on the other line wouldn't admit it.



    Chuck Norris created the earth in 6 days. Unlike God, he needs no rest.
    2006- Boston I
    2008- Boston I+II
    2009- Toronto, Philly III+IV
    2010- Bristow, Hartford, Boston, Newark
  • Cocaine_NosejobCocaine_Nosejob Posts: 1,744
    Chuck Norris does not wear condoms, there is no protection from Chuck Norris.
    "The customer...is always...an ASSHOLE"

    "The world fascinates me."

    "Doesn't mean that much to me, to mean that much to you"

  • aspoonfulweighsatonaspoonfulweighsaton Posts: 2,055
    Jesus turned water into wine, but Chuck Norris turned the wine into beer.
  • Cocaine_NosejobCocaine_Nosejob Posts: 1,744
    There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer...Chuck Norris is always in control.

    Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table of elements, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
    "The customer...is always...an ASSHOLE"

    "The world fascinates me."

    "Doesn't mean that much to me, to mean that much to you"

  • suns rivalsuns rival Posts: 15,926
    pearljamjen wrote:
    Bump for Suns Rival ;)

    yaiks!!!
    scratching my butt...
    kinakamot ang aking puwit...
    me rascando pompis...
    krap mijn reet...
    boku no ketsuoana o kizu...
    bahrosh teezy...
  • Black DiamondBlack Diamond Posts: 25,107
    Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse, horses are hung like Chuck Norris
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • LineOneMightyFineLineOneMightyFine Posts: 347
    Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

    Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

    Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.

    Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.

    When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather, roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

    Chuck Norris is the only one able to email a roundhouse kick.
  • Black DiamondBlack Diamond Posts: 25,107
    Chuck Norris urine is an alternative fuel souce
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • TrailerTrailer Posts: 1,431
    gabers wrote:
    When the Boogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

    This is still my favorite one.
    Whoa, chill bro... you know you can't raise your voice like that when the lion's here.
  • satansbedbugssatansbedbugs On Tour Posts: 2,412
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=regvpiyYu0I


    THANK YOU , CHUCK NORRIS !!
    *Marker in the Sand Fanclub * HNIC

    Philly- 2005, 2013, 2016, 2024
    Camden 2000, 2003, 2006, 2008, 2022, 2023
    Philly Spectrum 2009 x4 - We closed that MFER Down Proper
    Baltimore- 2024
    DC- 2006, 2008
    New York- 2008, 2010
    Boston - Fenway 2016 (night 2) , 2024 (night1)
    East Rutherford, New Jersey- 2006
    Chicago - Lollapalooza 2007
    Seattle- Gorge 2005
    EV Solo- DC x2, Baltimore x2 , Newark NJ x2,  Tower Theater x2 

    - Given To Fly
  • iamicaiamica Chicago Posts: 2,628
    Chuck Norris makes hamburgers by throwing cows at a chain link fence.
    Chicago 2000 : Chicago 2003 : Chicago 2006 : Summerfest 2006 : Lollapalooza 2007 : Chicago 2009 : Noblesville (Indy) 2010 : PJ20 (East Troy) 2011 : Wrigley Field 2013 : Milwaukee (Yield) 2014 : Wrigley Field 2016
  • dmm34dmm34 Posts: 10
    Chuck Norris makes onions cry
  • Cocaine_NosejobCocaine_Nosejob Posts: 1,744
    Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a salesman. Over the phone.

    The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.

    Those aren't credits that roll at the end of Walker, Texas Ranger...they are a list of fatalities that occured during filming.
    "The customer...is always...an ASSHOLE"

    "The world fascinates me."

    "Doesn't mean that much to me, to mean that much to you"

  • jked3jked3 Posts: 171
    Didn't read through them all, but my favorite....

    Chuck Norris is not hung like horse...horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
    Columbia 96/98;Randall's Island 96;Tibetan Freedom 97;Late Show 98;Camden 98/00/03/06/08;E Rutherford 98/06;MSG 98/03/08;VF Choice (DC) 98;Uniondale 03;State College 03;Holmdel 03;VF Change (Reading) 04;AC 05;Philly 05; Lolla 07.....[EV Newark 08]
  • madtowndavemadtowndave Minneapolis, MN Posts: 4,013
    Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
    Nashville-00
    Nashville-03
    Chicago-07
    E.V. Milwaukee-08
    Chicago 1 & 2-09
    Alpine Valley 1 & 2-11
    Wrigley-13
    St. Paul-14
    Milwaukee-14
    Denver-22
    St. Paul 1 & 2 - 23
  • Red_DotRed_Dot Posts: 1,454
    There is no such things as lesbians, just women who haven't met Chuck Norris

    Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

    Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
    Take me for a ride before we leave...
  • not for me?not for me? Posts: 501
    One day on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a baby lamb being used for a shot dies. Chuck Norris revives the lamb and then gives it a round house kick to the face killing it instantly, just to prove that Chuck giveth and Chuck taketh away.
    Nathan
  • suns rivalsuns rival Posts: 15,926
    chuck norris is pearljamjen's #1 man of her dreams.
    scratching my butt...
    kinakamot ang aking puwit...
    me rascando pompis...
    krap mijn reet...
    boku no ketsuoana o kizu...
    bahrosh teezy...
  • Black DiamondBlack Diamond Posts: 25,107
    Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • RygarRygar Posts: 8,689
    Chuck Norris was one of the original fighters in the video game Street Fighter, but every button pressed caused him to perform a roundhouse kick.
    When asked about the glitch, Chuck replied "that's no glitch."
  • Steve DunneSteve Dunne Posts: 4,965
    dunkman wrote:
    Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

    nice dunk!
    I love to turn you on
  • BinauralBinaural Posts: 1,046
    Chuck Norris can play the violin....
    on the piano.
    ~*~*~*~*PROUD EVENFLOW PSYCHO #0026~*~*~*~*

    *^*^*^*^*^*^*^RED MOSQUITO #2^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

    Dublin 08/06
    Katowice 06/07 London 06/07 Dusseldorf 06/07 Nijgemen 06/07
  • RygarRygar Posts: 8,689
    Binaural wrote:
    Chuck Norris can play the violin....
    on the piano.
    haha, that was pretty good
  • Cocaine_NosejobCocaine_Nosejob Posts: 1,744
    Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.
    "The customer...is always...an ASSHOLE"

    "The world fascinates me."

    "Doesn't mean that much to me, to mean that much to you"

  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 40,408
    The only ass Chuck Norris can't kick is Chuck Norris's
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
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