Why do gay people think they can say whatever they want?

Heineken Helen

And it not be offensive? I was in the pub Saturday night and we were chatting to a gay couple (she kinda knows one of them) and my friend went to the toilet, came back and sat down and one of them said 'no honey, YOU look better standing up' :eek:

If he said it to me I would have thought it was open season to say whatever I want but she took it well and laughed and that was the end of it. But I've seen it so much with gay friends. They really CAN get away with saying absolutely anything and people just laugh... but actually listen too I don't get it.

harmless_little_f***

That's true of any people who are members of a marginalised group: black people, Asian, disabled, gay... the list goes on. They can give themselves permission to say things and other people will take it with a pinch of salt because it is their right as the marginalised group. Which makes it difficult to tell someone of such a group when they're actually just being a twat and talking out their ass...

Heineken Helen

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

That's true of any people who are members of a marginalised group: black people, Asian, disabled, gay... the list goes on. They can give themselves permission to say things and other people will take it with a pinch of salt because it is their right as the marginalised group. Which makes it difficult to tell someone of such a group when they're actually just being a twat and talking out their ass...

hmm... but that's not difficult at all

I give myself the right to say whatever anyone else thinks they can say and get away with what makes them so feckin special?

know1

Heineken Helen wrote:

And it not be offensive? I was in the pub Saturday night and we were chatting to a gay couple (she kinda knows one of them) and my friend went to the toilet, came back and sat down and one of them said 'no honey, YOU look better standing up' :eek:

If he said it to me I would have thought it was open season to say whatever I want but she took it well and laughed and that was the end of it. But I've seen it so much with gay friends. They really CAN get away with saying absolutely anything and people just laugh... but actually listen too I don't get it.

They're all the same.

Heineken Helen

know1 wrote:

They're all the same.

well no, they're not. But it's just been pretty much any gay friend I've had has been more outspoken than my straight friends. And they're (the gay friends I've had) more likely to say what is ordinarily considered offensive... but it's not when it comes from them. I'm just wondering why people are more accepting of an insult when it comes from a gay person?

yosi1

Maybe because those people are homophobic and try and overcompensate for their homophobia by allowing gay people to get away with being insulting.

Heineken Helen

yosi wrote:

Maybe because those people are homophobic and try and overcompensate for their homophobia by allowing gay people to get away with being insulting.

oh dear! Ya reckon? :eek:

dunkman

Heineken Helen wrote:

I'm just wondering why people are more accepting of an insult when it comes from a gay person?

and this is what your thread should be called... gay people say what they want and yet the person takes the insult... and the reason is that the only insult they can quickly think of back is "hey jobbyjabber, go suck a pink one" and this is deemed unlawful... if she had shat in his face then the police would have laughed and gave her a certificate.. take the piss out of him being gay and she'd be put into Auswitch knitting socks for the policemen.


theres a gay guy who works with my wife and on night out he becomes more bitchy and loud with every drink... he once ruffled my hair and told me i should get it seen to BY A PROFESSIONAL... i grabbed his nuts and said "technically you dont need these..."

yosi1

Heineken Helen wrote:

oh dear! Ya reckon? :eek:

Well, I think its definitely possible, and even if someone isn't a flaming homophobe ( ), they still may have some homophobic tendencies and feel embarrassed by it, thus trying to overcompensate.

Heineken Helen

dunkman wrote:

and this is what your thread should be called... gay people say what they want and yet the person takes the insult... and the reason is that the only insult they can quickly think of back is "hey jobbyjabber, go suck a pink one" and this is deemed unlawful... if she had shat in his face then the police would have laughed and gave her a certificate.. take the piss out of him being gay and she'd be put into Auswitch knitting socks for the policemen.


theres a gay guy who works with my wife and on night out he becomes more bitchy and loud with every drink... he once ruffled my hair and told me i should get it seen to BY A PROFESSIONAL... i grabbed his nuts and said "technically you dont need these..."

I was really really hoping he'd insult me... but he didn't. He pretty much insulted everyone else in the pub. Was shouting out about all the 'fucking Polish people' (and there would be a few in that pub) and nobody said anything. If he was straight (he's very very very camp), without a doubt, he'd have been kicked out of the pub within minutes.

Don't get me wrong, he was funnny! But if I said half the things he said, well it just doesn't bear thinking about really :eek:

Heineken Helen

yosi wrote:

Well, I think its definitely possible, and even if someone isn't a flaming homophobe ( ), they still may have some homophobic tendencies and feel embarrassed by it, thus trying to overcompensate.

I dunno, I think that may be looking a little TOO far into it

I'm trying to get my head around that one... I don't think I see it though.

yosi1

Heineken Helen wrote:

I dunno, I think that may be looking a little TOO far into it

I'm trying to get my head around that one... I don't think I see it though.

I don't know, I think a lot more people have issues with homosexuality than they will admit (I don't know why, just the way it is). I can't think of any other reason.

Heineken Helen

yosi wrote:

I don't know, I think a lot more people have issues with homosexuality than they will admit (I don't know why, just the way it is). I can't think of any other reason.

I dunno a HUGE part of me is wondering if you're fucking serious but there's a nagging little bit of me that's thinking you could be on to something

Heineken Helen

and for the record I LOVE homosexuality

I think it's great and there's something about gay friends... perhaps it IS that brutal honesty that only they can get away with. But I'm just wondering WHY they get away with it? And yep dunk, I titled it wrong

It's just the friend he offended wouldn't have a huge amount of self esteem and something like that would often piss her off for the night... I was surprised how quickly she shrugged it off and laughed

nuffingman

yosi wrote:

Maybe because those people are homophobic and try and overcompensate for their homophobia by allowing gay people to get away with being insulting.

It's possible that they also know what they'll be accused of if they make a comment. I once had words with a gay who was part of our social group. He was nauseating, opinionated and insulting. I was instantly accused of being homophobic. By his logic if I had a disagreement with a hetrosexual I'd be gay.

Plain and simple he was a twat!

Heineken Helen

nuffingman wrote:

It's possible that they also know what they'll be accused of if they make a comment. I once had words with a gay who was part of our social group. He was nauseating, opinionated and insulting. I was instantly accused of being homophobic. By his logic if I had a disagreement with a hetrosexual I'd be gay.

Plain and simple he was a twat!

well there is always that too I suppose. Although why are people so bloody afraid? Seriously if he had insulted me, I just had so much I could have said to him. Although perhaps it's because I'd already made fun of his sunglasses in the pub and his fake tan that he thought it best to just leave it well enough alone Hmm... perhaps I'M gay? :eek:

yosi1

Heineken Helen wrote:

I dunno a HUGE part of me is wondering if you're fucking serious but there's a nagging little bit of me that's thinking you could be on to something

Definitely being serious. Its sad, but I definitely think it could be the case.

nuffingman wrote:

It's possible that they also know what they'll be accused of if they make a comment. I once had words with a gay who was part of our social group. He was nauseating, opinionated and insulting. I was instantly accused of being homophobic. By his logic if I had a disagreement with a hetrosexual I'd be gay.

Plain and simple he was a twat!

Definitely also possible. I was thinking something along those lines, but couldn't formulate it clearly in my head, so I let it go. But that is definitely possible.

Just to clarify, not accusing anyone here of homophobia, just theorizing on the situation Helen brought up.

stu gee

yosi wrote:

I don't know, I think a lot more people have issues with homosexuality than they will admit (I don't know why, just the way it is). I can't think of any other reason.

I agree. I dont have a problem with gay people personally, but the idea of it naturally makes me feel sick, i cant help that. People are sometimes outraged when you speak like that as they try to demonstrate how accepting and righteous they are but im just being honest. I cant help my natural reactions.

dunkman

nuffingman wrote:

It's possible that they also know what they'll be accused of if they make a comment. I once had words with a gay who was part of our social group. He was nauseating, opinionated and insulting. I was instantly accused of being homophobic. By his logic if I had a disagreement with a hetrosexual I'd be gay.

Plain and simple he was a twat!

this is my point exactly... gay people say what they want cos they know if someone stands up against they can say you're homophobic..

*in best Bernard Manning voice*
how the fuck can i be homophobic.. i fucking love me house.


Ali G used to show up that defensive strategy very well when he said "is it cos I is black" whenever someone went against him.

Heineken Helen

yosi wrote:

Definitely being serious. Its sad, but I definitely think it could be the case.



Definitely also possible. I was thinking something along those lines, but couldn't formulate it clearly in my head, so I let it go. But that is definitely possible.

Just to clarify, not accusing anyone here of homophobia, just theorizing on the situation Helen brought up.

well it COULD be the case I suppose... but I think nuffingman's on to something also. Actually more I think of it, the more I think he might be right . Hmmmmmmm

soulsinging

1. what the hell does that even mean?

2. it's the lisp. it makes any words spoken sound so fucking ridiculous nobody can possibly be offended becos inside they're laughing at what a fop the speaker sounds like.

nuffingman

Heineken Helen wrote:

Although perhaps it's because I'd already made fun of his sunglasses in the pub and his fake tan that he thought it best to just leave it well enough alone Hmm... perhaps I'M gay? :eek:

Wearing sunglasses in a pub deserves derision in great quantities.... but taking the piss of his false tan...your heartless.

yosi1

dunkman wrote:

Ali G used to show up that defensive strategy very well when he said "is it cos I is black" whenever someone went against him.

Well, we all know that it is the case that people only disagreed with him because he's black.

Heineken Helen

stu gee wrote:

I agree. I dont have a problem with gay people personally, but the idea of it naturally makes me feel sick, i cant help that. People are sometimes outraged when you speak like that as they try to demonstrate how accepting and righteous they are but im just being honest. I cant help my natural reactions.

I think it's better to be honest, no matter how bad the honesty is, than to keep something bottled up or deny your true feelings . Yeh, a lot of people may give you shit for it. I don't agree with ya but I appreciate your honesty and fuck those who think you should just think what they think anyway.

AND while quite a few men are extremely comfortable with their sexuality... I think it's funny if you even talk about going to a gay bar and some of them think they won't get out of there walking straight :eek: . I always look at them and think 'don't bloody flatter yourself'

Heineken Helen

soulsinging wrote:

1. what the hell does that even mean?

2. it's the lisp. it makes any words spoken sound so fucking ridiculous nobody can possibly be offended becos inside they're laughing at what a fop the speaker sounds like.

what does what mean?

and yeh, he did have a bit of a lisp

Heineken Helen

nuffingman wrote:

Wearing sunglasses in a pub deserves derision in great quantities.... but taking the piss of his false tan...your heartless.

I'll take the piss out of anyone and I normally do and I'm normally in situations where people just take the piss out of eachother which is why I think I noticed the other night cos nobody would take the piss back... and it was just HIM taking the piss

yosi1

Heineken Helen wrote:

I'll take the piss out of anyone and I normally do and I'm normally in situations where people just take the piss out of eachother which is why I think I noticed the other night cos nobody would take the piss back... and it was just HIM taking the piss

I think you should just admit it Helen, you hate gays.

soulsinging

Heineken Helen wrote:

what does what mean?

and yeh, he did have a bit of a lisp

the "insult?" you look better standing up? how is that an insult? what does it even mean?

dunkman

Heineken Helen wrote:

well it COULD be the case I suppose... but I think nuffingman's on to something also. Actually more I think of it, the more I think he might be right . Hmmmmmmm

oh so he's right.. i said the same as him in my first post!!!!!!


fucking hell

*storms off in huff*

stu gee

Heineken Helen wrote:

I think it's better to be honest, no matter how bad the honesty is, than to keep something bottled up or deny your true feelings . Yeh, a lot of people may give you shit for it. I don't agree with ya but I appreciate your honesty and fuck those who think you should just think what they think anyway.

AND while quite a few men are extremely comfortable with their sexuality... I think it's funny if you even talk about going to a gay bar and some of them think they won't get out of there walking straight :eek: . I always look at them and think 'don't bloody flatter yourself'

I dont have a problem talking, or to be more honest and accurate, joking, about it with my friends, but just the physical thought of it makes me feel less than comfortable.

yosi1

Heineken Helen wrote:

I'll take the piss out of anyone and I normally do and I'm normally in situations where people just take the piss out of eachother which is why I think I noticed the other night cos nobody would take the piss back... and it was just HIM taking the piss

Just thought I'd point out that you said "take the pis" four times in about 3 sentences.