Why I will never go to Australia!

Heineken Helen

I like Australians, I love the Ozzies on the board here, I'm sure it's a wonderful beautiful country full of all things... great! But here's the thing, I hate spiders, little ones, big ones, whatever! But here they can't kill ya

I watched a documentary last night called 'backyard killers' about all the stuff in Oz that can kill ya funnel web spiders, snakes, crocodiles, even BEES :eek: and I didn't watch the rest. Anyway those spiders fucking freaked me out. It was like watching a horror film as the woman took the clothes off the line, put them in the basket, then it showed the spider crawl down into the clothes, she brought the basket into the house and threw the clothes on the floor as most people don't do. It then showed the spider crawl out of the clothes and into the little girls boot :eek: . Then she put her foot in and I'm screaming at the telly 'somebody tell her' :eek: . But it's ok, they called someone to sort it out: a spider expert whose job it is to remove the venom... so it zoomed in on the spider as he prodded it with tweezers to get it angry... and it JUMPED up with its fangs in the air :eek: FANGS :eek: .

Any country where the spiders have fangs, I'm sorry, but it's just not for me

dunkman

*whole of Oz breathes collective sigh of relief*

gaz

dunkman wrote:

*whole of Oz breathes collective sigh of relief*

You are so mean!!Ha Ha!

Heineken Helen

dunkman wrote:

*whole of Oz breathes collective sigh of relief*

probably!

Nah, it's strange, when I tell people I want to travel, they nearly always say 'oh you're going to Australia for a few months?' and I'm like 'eh... nope'. I just couldn't do it. I had a friend who lived there for a year and she told me she'd have to check all her clothes in the morning before putting them on... :eek: I do that anyway but still if I found one of those big fuckers, I'd probably drop dead where I'm standing.

illegal pants

i didn't realise we had a spider problem? :eek:

< terrified of spiders

but i'm surviving well get your ass here Helen!

catefrances

well if you're not tough enough helen we don't want ya anyway.
and here am i thinking the irish are made of tougher stuff. what was i thinking?

Heineken Helen

illegal_pants wrote:

i didn't realise we had a spider problem? :eek:

< terrified of spiders

but i'm surviving well get your ass here Helen!

Trust me... you do! :eek:

Cate, I don't mind admitting I'm a big chicken!!! Not at all... I'm not going NEAR those spiders :eek: . I always thought it would be nice to get in the pool when it's that hot... but then you have killer snakes waiting for ya :eek: although I'm not afraid of snakes but they can kill

catefrances

don't forget thsoe killer stingrays. plus dingoes will eat your baby if you leave it lying around.

Heineken Helen

catefrances wrote:

don't forget thsoe killer stingrays. plus dingoes will eat your baby if you leave it lying around.

:eek: Shite, I forgot about those



Ooohh yeh, you got great whites too although I like them... but seen enough episodes of home & away to know they kill

DinghyDog

-

harmless_little_f***

Heineken Helen wrote:

Any country where the spiders have fangs, I'm sorry, but it's just not for me

I'm not aware of any spider in any country which doesn't have fangs.

Maybe you're not safe ANYWHERE Helen! :eek:

Heineken Helen

DinghyDog wrote:

watch out for the DROP BEARS.

they get you when you walk under trees. when you LEAST expect it.

But they sound so cute like you could eat them!

HLF REALLY??? I've never allowed myself to study them too closely before... even looking at pictures freaks me out. Here's the closest I may have ever got to one... I posted this on the art thread before. It's one I saw in South Africa which I actually walked my face into because I was walking between the bushes to get to the lagoon the other side and didn't see it :eek:

http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i78/HeinekenHelen/South%20Africa/3.jpg

bostonlou

i wouldn't go because of that toilet flushing thing


that's a sure sign that you should stay away

Jeanie

bostonlou wrote:

i wouldn't go because of that toilet flushing thing


that's a sure sign that you should stay away

Ok, I'll bite.

What toilet flushing thing??

Heineken Helen

Jeanie wrote:

Ok, I'll bite.

What toilet flushing thing??

the water goes the wrong way... below the equator. I've seen it with my own eyes in South Africa and it's actually pathetically cool

Jeanie

Heineken Helen wrote:

I like Australians, I love the Ozzies on the board here, I'm sure it's a wonderful beautiful country full of all things... great! But here's the thing, I hate spiders, little ones, big ones, whatever! But here they can't kill ya

I watched a documentary last night called 'backyard killers' about all the stuff in Oz that can kill ya funnel web spiders, snakes, crocodiles, even BEES :eek: and I didn't watch the rest. Anyway those spiders fucking freaked me out. It was like watching a horror film as the woman took the clothes off the line, put them in the basket, then it showed the spider crawl down into the clothes, she brought the basket into the house and threw the clothes on the floor as most people don't do. It then showed the spider crawl out of the clothes and into the little girls boot :eek: . Then she put her foot in and I'm screaming at the telly 'somebody tell her' :eek: . But it's ok, they called someone to sort it out: a spider expert whose job it is to remove the venom... so it zoomed in on the spider as he prodded it with tweezers to get it angry... and it JUMPED up with its fangs in the air :eek: FANGS :eek: .

Any country where the spiders have fangs, I'm sorry, but it's just not for me

Seriously Helen, do you really think I could stay here in this country if the spiders and snakes and other assorted horrors where about on a daily basis?

The only place I've seen half the snakes and spiders that seem to terrify the rest of the world, is on the tele!
And I lived in the bush!!!

They don't hunt you down you know.

It's perfectly safe here girl, trust me.

Well there's boys down the pub, but otherwise the place is perfectly harmless.

eMMI

Heineken Helen wrote:

the water goes the wrong way... below the equator. I've seen it with my own eyes in South Africa and it's actually pathetically cool

:rolleyes:




well, at some point in my life.. I'm actually going to HAVE to go to Australia. :eek: even though there are killer spiders (not to mention other killer things!) and giant moths. cause I've promised so many people I'd get my arse over. :rolleyes: :D

so I'm trying not to think about the nasty stuff.

bostonlou

Heineken Helen wrote:

the water goes the wrong way... below the equator. I've seen it with my own eyes in South Africa and it's actually pathetically cool

i've seen it go the other way after a long night of drinking .... i hated it

Jeanie

eMMI wrote:

:rolleyes:




well, at some point in my life.. I'm actually going to HAVE to go to Australia. :eek: even though there are killer spiders (not to mention other killer things!) and giant moths. cause I've promised so many people I'd get my arse over. :rolleyes: :D

so I'm trying not to think about the nasty stuff.

DO NOT PANIC eMMI!!!

We'll protect you!!!

Not that there's anything to protect you from.

Heineken Helen

Jeanie wrote:

It's perfectly safe here girl, trust me.

Hmm... why did that sound like famous last words?

Emmi??? :eek: GIANT MOTHS???????? :eek: Nobody told me about that :eek: Nope... that's that then!

Lol BL try it sober... below the equator sometime

eMMI

Heineken Helen wrote:

Emmi??? :eek: GIANT MOTHS???????? :eek: Nobody told me about that :eek: Nope... that's that then!

that's what I've been told at least. haven't looked into it though.

eMMI

Jeanie wrote:

DO NOT PANIC eMMI!!!

We'll protect you!!!

Not that there's anything to protect you from.

I'm not panicking.

aww, thankies lady.

Jeanie

Heineken Helen wrote:

the water goes the wrong way... below the equator. I've seen it with my own eyes in South Africa and it's actually pathetically cool

Oh!! I remember now!

You mean the toilet swirls the right way here, and swirls the wrong way there???

I can't believe you went to South Africa, but you're frightened of little old Oz!
Isn't somewhere in South Africa the murder capital of the world???
Seriously Helen, I'd love to know what this bloody tv show is. A few other people have mentioned they watched it the last few weeks and completely freaked out about all the scary shit we supposedly have here.

I don't do creepy crawlies, I don't play with sharks, or stingrays, or dingoes, or any other icky scary thing. I never see them.

The scariest thing we got going on here is the PM's evil head flashing on the tv too often!!

Heineken Helen

Jeanie wrote:

Oh!! I remember now!

You mean the toilet swirls the right way here, and swirls the wrong way there???

I can't believe you went to South Africa, but you're frightened of little old Oz!
Isn't somewhere in South Africa the murder capital of the world???
Seriously Helen, I'd love to know what this bloody tv show is. A few other people have mentioned they watched it the last few weeks and completely freaked out about all the scary shit we supposedly have here.

I don't do creepy crawlies, I don't play with sharks, or stingrays, or dingoes, or any other icky scary thing. I never see them.

The scariest thing we got going on here is the PM's evil head flashing on the tv too often!!

Well for some reason I never thought about it at ALL when I went to SA . I dunno, my head just associates deadly crawly stuff with Australia and that's it. I know there's stuff all over the place (apart from Ireland which is why I'm happy here ) that can kill but I dunno, I think of deadly spiders, I think of Oz.

Yep, Johannesburg's the murder capital of the world... or Mexico city or something! But I can handle people they don't scare me

It was called 'backyard killers' but I think it had an Irish voiceover. I've seen a few documentaries of the likes though

markymark550

The only thing I would really worry about in Australia is the Fierce snake, the most poisonous snake on the planet. They are native to Australia, but tend to stay away from cities I believe. So I think you'd be safe from them unless you went to the outback or whatever it's called.

Just step on the spiders if they freak you out....or get some spider spray to take with you.

norm

Heineken Helen wrote:

I like Australians, I love the Ozzies on the board here, I'm sure it's a wonderful beautiful country full of all things... great! But here's the thing, I hate spiders, little ones, big ones, whatever! But here they can't kill ya

I watched a documentary last night called 'backyard killers' about all the stuff in Oz that can kill ya funnel web spiders, snakes, crocodiles, even BEES :eek: and I didn't watch the rest. Anyway those spiders fucking freaked me out. It was like watching a horror film as the woman took the clothes off the line, put them in the basket, then it showed the spider crawl down into the clothes, she brought the basket into the house and threw the clothes on the floor as most people don't do. It then showed the spider crawl out of the clothes and into the little girls boot :eek: . Then she put her foot in and I'm screaming at the telly 'somebody tell her' :eek: . But it's ok, they called someone to sort it out: a spider expert whose job it is to remove the venom... so it zoomed in on the spider as he prodded it with tweezers to get it angry... and it JUMPED up with its fangs in the air :eek: FANGS :eek: .

Any country where the spiders have fangs, I'm sorry, but it's just not for me

stop watching docs about things that kill..............prob solved........:D:D

Heineken Helen

markymark550 wrote:

The only thing I would really worry about in Australia is the Fierce snake, the most poisonous snake on the planet. They are native to Australia, but tend to stay away from cities I believe. So I think you'd be safe from them unless you went to the outback or whatever it's called.

Just step on the spiders if they freak you out....or get some spider spray to take with you.

But that's only if you see them :eek: I heard 8 out of the 10 deadliest spiders live in Oz

markymark550

Heineken Helen wrote:

But that's only if you see them :eek: I heard 8 out of the 10 deadliest spiders live in Oz

Didn't know that it was 8 of the top 10. :eek:

In that case, check your shoes before putting them on and double the amount of spider spray

libragirl

Yeah spiders are scary but I think I'd be willing to brave it out. Austraila looks beautiful I would like to visit someday.

Heineken Helen

cutback wrote:

stop watching docs about things that kill..............prob solved........:D:D

yah, but then I wouldn't know what could kill me

Jeanie

Heineken Helen wrote:

Well for some reason I never thought about it at ALL when I went to SA . I dunno, my head just associates deadly crawly stuff with Australia and that's it. I know there's stuff all over the place (apart from Ireland which is why I'm happy here ) that can kill but I dunno, I think of deadly spiders, I think of Oz.

Yep, Johannesburg's the murder capital of the world... or Mexico city or something! But I can handle people they don't scare me

It was called 'backyard killers' but I think it had an Irish voiceover. I've seen a few documentaries of the likes though

Well it's a shame girl. Because we'd love you to come visit, and bring eMMI with you!

I think I know the doco you mean, and I refuse to watch it!
It's hideous!! :eek:

I reckon the insects I see the most here in suburbia are snails and flies.
And in the Summer mozzies.

Otherwise, it's all pretty mundane love. Perfectly safe.