and as i said in my post... the part that you cut out ...never said it did. however, for ME...while it may not be 'less' i certainly want 'more'...to me....marriage is the MORE of a relationship. there is no *point* beyond the personal value one prescribes to it, or not.
and i also see how the mind of women work. the MORE you're talking about wanting is our free pass OUT. got it. thanks.
and i also see how the mind of women work. the MORE you're talking about wanting is our free pass OUT. got it. thanks.
maybe i've had too much wine already ....but i am not sure what you're saying?
and btw - don't ever take what *I* say as representative of what ALL women want or how we all think. it just don't work that way. we're ALL individuals. also, quite honestly...while i may seem a bit 'traditional' in that i value marriage so highly...that's about where it ends. so yes, i really doubt most women think like me. vive la differance!
hmmm...must be the wine.......but what are you saying, you give sex freely? is that what you think i mean by more? or oral? ummm...yea, know that. hahaha. none of the above is what i refer to as 'more'...the more is far more intangible...indescribable...in my first post i simply referred to it as *it just is*....b/c i cannot find words for it. it is a level of commitment beyond all else. to ME. it. just. IS.
I'm not married (yet) but I plan to be one day
and my personal reasons (for me personally=nobody yell at me, please, these are my own personal beliefs for my life and not a judgment for anyone else)
my reasons are that I want to make a promise to God to love and honor the person that I will be sharing my life with, and because I also plan to have children and I want to be married. My parents were divorced when I was 2.
So I want to give my children what I never had-parents who are married and love each other and are happy.
That's my plan. When it happens I will make a big thread about it!
"...like a word misplaced, nothing said, what a waste.."
"Sometimes life should be consumed in measured doses"
6-01-06
6/25/08
Free Speedy
and Metsy!
Now that's a refreshing story to hear. Good for both of you.
I'm against having kids as well, for myself. Maybe she just thought if I got married that'd change my mind somehow?
this was the post that stopped me on the 2nd page of the thread. A generalization but *a lot* of younger women get into relationships and marriage to change a guy. Similar reasons as to why girls will date bad boys. Yup, it's exciting but even more exciting if you can tame him into a well behaved husband.
I got married for all the societal pressure reasons, I was 25. Church, reception, honeymoon. Even attempted to start a family that I came to realize I didn't want (a blessing in disguise that we failed at that part) and admitting that to myself was the hardest thing I ever did. I had to wrestle and overcome that not wanting children is perfectly normal; not abnormal as I believed my friends, family, society in general, would think of me.
But I do think many people get married and have children because "that's what you're supposed to do and if you don't, you don't fit in". Many do it because they're afraid to be alone. I applaud all who are married/long term relationship and went into it knowing the work it would take to make it a success, with or without kids. I may joke around when people say they're getting married "poor bastards " but those who are successfully married or in a long term relationship, you are blessed (by what? I have no idea since I'm not religious).
Regardless, I am happily single, completely at ease with myself and where I am in my life. If I met the right guy and I wanted to spend the rest of my days with him? That would be great....but I wouldn't get married again. I am far too independent to be tied to someone like that again.
believe it or not, we don't "need" anything. that is only the spoiled brat in us trying to fill some temporary solution to an emptyness that does not exist.
I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
I'm not married (yet) but I plan to be one day
and my personal reasons (for me personally=nobody yell at me, please, these are my own personal beliefs for my life and not a judgment for anyone else)
my reasons are that I want to make a promise to God to love and honor the person that I will be sharing my life with, and because I also plan to have children and I want to be married. My parents were divorced when I was 2.
So I want to give my children what I never had-parents who are married and love each other and are happy.
That's my plan. When it happens I will make a big thread about it!
And that is truly fantastic. Yes, really. I'm not against marriage in general, it's just not for me.
I might comment in your thread "you poor bastard" but I'd still be happy for you.
believe it or not, we don't "need" anything. that is only the spoiled brat in us trying to fill some temporary solution to an emptyness that does not exist.
I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
First I'll just start by saying this isn't a knock against anyone who is. I'm just wondering what people's reasons are for getting married in today's less traditional age. Congrats to all of you who are married, and I'm happy for you as long as you're happy. However, I'm just a normal, 25 year old guy that's not religious and don't have much tradition in me as far as those good ole days, get married, go to church on sunday, have babies, etc etc. A lot of my friends that I know, that are my age, are basically the same in that aspect...yeeeeeet they still seem rushed to want to get married one day soon and start a family.
So my question is, why does marraige have to come into play?
It wouldn't show my love anymore. If I'm with someone 5+ years, the day I get married doesn't make me love someone more. I've been with her that long, I love her with all I've got already.
It doesn't change anything as far as living conditions...I'll already be living with them. (I don't think you should wait to move in until you're married. How do you know you can marry them if you haven't lived with them first?)
The wedding? Why not just have a kick ass party where you and your other take up 10 minutes to bore everyone really quick, thank them for getting together with you and being there, talk about your times really quick, how you love each other and then move on and just freakin party with everyone.
A honeymoon? Why can't you just take the vacation anyway?
Kids? You can still have those after a long period of time if you're both ready...
Splitting up? You can leave the other person without going through a sloppy court decided divorce where you're giving another person money to argue your case, when you could have just split up and gone your separate way. Sure it's not THAT easy, but it's still easier.
Okay, this is long enough, I'm sure you get my gist, I'm just wanting to start a discussion.
My upbringing? I have a mom and dad who stayed married, and a sister who is married and has three kids. So it's not like I was brought up to hate marraige. Everyone around me believes in it...I just don't see it.
So enlighten me.
You alreddie know MY take on it all cuz we've discussed it before! However, the other day, I was talking with a friend of mine and she asked about marriage. Long story short, I established i USED to want to get married JUST to have the wedding cuz i love planning events and i know my wedding would be pimmmmped out! AS for the marriage? ehhhh u know i agree with what you said up there! who needs a paper to make your love *official*?!
~~~~~~ALWAYS HAVE A GOOD TIME~~~~~~
Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!
"Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95
This is coming from someone who is divorcing after 15 years of marriage...
I still believe strongly in marriage. I married my husband because I loved him and planned on spending the rest of my life with him. And even though we are not together now, it worked for a long time. We made it work. We had good times and bad times where, if we hadn't have had that 'piece of paper', it would have been so easy to walk away. In the end it was not to be. But, in my heart, I know we tried and gave it our best shot.
I'm not saying that you can't get that level of commitment without marriage, but it seems to me that marriage is just putting your money where your mouth is and saying 'We can do this together'.
Maybe it's an old-fashioned view, but it's just the way I see it.
I'm not saying that you can't get that level of commitment without marriage, but it seems to me that marriage is just putting your money where your mouth is and saying 'We can do this together'.
I like that and I agree with it.....but I'm just not a gambling kind of woman.
I said I applaud those who have the successful marriages knowing the work it takes. I applaud you, my friend, for doing all the two of you could to make a go of it, even though it didn't work.
believe it or not, we don't "need" anything. that is only the spoiled brat in us trying to fill some temporary solution to an emptyness that does not exist.
I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
I haven't read the entire thread yet, but I'll say
Health Insurance!!
I'm sure my husband and I would have married anyhow, but we did when we did, 'cause he needed health insurance.
Walking can be a real trip
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
well, I think it can signify a deep committment for two people. For some, it is the necessary, acceptable means for them to start a family together. For others, it is a step they are expected to take from their own family as a sign of maturity. For women, those who have never been married and perhaps those who would fall in this catagory, it is a right of society as in you were "chosen" by a man. None of those reasons are 100% true for everyone nor are they reasons that should be why you get married.
Many people here are young and very intelligent in terms of sensitivity, relationships and love. I really applaud most of you because you seem to respect your others whether they are wives, gfs, husbands or boyfriends.
In my age group, I have seen more people complain constantly about their others as if they are so restrained by these people that they only bitch about. But you know, (think SNL, "da bears") I live in Chicago where I must say very few men are really evolved. (If you live here and are my age group, and also disagree, I apologize because I have not met you so I do not know this about you............)
Other than that, no hurry unless you need to wed before you have kids. Why burn the soup? (what???????)
Baby, You Wouldn't Last a Minute on The Creek......
Together we will float like angels.........
In the moment that you left the room, the album started skipping, goodbye to beauty shared with the ones that you love.........
you get married b/c you need a woman to cook and clean for you
and to do your "warsh"
lol
a wife who will bring you your slippers when you sink into your recliner after a hard day at the office and she'll greet you at the door with a smile on her face and a ribbon in her hair (and she'll keep the kids quiet b/c she knows you had a hard day at work)
9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
you get married b/c you need a woman to cook and clean for you
and to do your "warsh"
lol
a wife who will bring you your slippers when you sink into your recliner after a hard day at the office and she'll greet you at the door with a smile on her face and a ribbon in her hair (and she'll keep the kids quiet b/c she knows you had a hard day at work)
:eek:
Good Housekeeping, circa 1950
believe it or not, we don't "need" anything. that is only the spoiled brat in us trying to fill some temporary solution to an emptyness that does not exist.
I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
Comments
and i also see how the mind of women work. the MORE you're talking about wanting is our free pass OUT. got it. thanks.
maybe i've had too much wine already
and btw - don't ever take what *I* say as representative of what ALL women want or how we all think. it just don't work that way. we're ALL individuals. also, quite honestly...while i may seem a bit 'traditional' in that i value marriage so highly...that's about where it ends. so yes, i really doubt most women think like me. vive la differance!
hmmm...must be the wine.......but what are you saying, you give sex freely? is that what you think i mean by more? or oral? ummm...yea, know that. hahaha. none of the above is what i refer to as 'more'...the more is far more intangible...indescribable...in my first post i simply referred to it as *it just is*....b/c i cannot find words for it. it is a level of commitment beyond all else. to ME. it. just. IS.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
and my personal reasons (for me personally=nobody yell at me, please, these are my own personal beliefs for my life and not a judgment for anyone else)
my reasons are that I want to make a promise to God to love and honor the person that I will be sharing my life with, and because I also plan to have children and I want to be married. My parents were divorced when I was 2.
So I want to give my children what I never had-parents who are married and love each other and are happy.
That's my plan. When it happens I will make a big thread about it!
"Sometimes life should be consumed in measured doses"
6-01-06
6/25/08
Free Speedy
and Metsy!
This is how I feel too.
this was the post that stopped me on the 2nd page of the thread. A generalization but *a lot* of younger women get into relationships and marriage to change a guy. Similar reasons as to why girls will date bad boys. Yup, it's exciting but even more exciting if you can tame him into a well behaved husband.
I got married for all the societal pressure reasons, I was 25. Church, reception, honeymoon. Even attempted to start a family that I came to realize I didn't want (a blessing in disguise that we failed at that part) and admitting that to myself was the hardest thing I ever did. I had to wrestle and overcome that not wanting children is perfectly normal; not abnormal as I believed my friends, family, society in general, would think of me.
But I do think many people get married and have children because "that's what you're supposed to do and if you don't, you don't fit in". Many do it because they're afraid to be alone. I applaud all who are married/long term relationship and went into it knowing the work it would take to make it a success, with or without kids. I may joke around when people say they're getting married "poor bastards
Regardless, I am happily single, completely at ease with myself and where I am in my life. If I met the right guy and I wanted to spend the rest of my days with him? That would be great....but I wouldn't get married again. I am far too independent to be tied to someone like that again.
I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
And that is truly fantastic. Yes, really. I'm not against marriage in general, it's just not for me.
I might comment in your thread "you poor bastard" but I'd still be happy for you.
I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!
"Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95
It takes balls to put out a UKE album!
I still believe strongly in marriage. I married my husband because I loved him and planned on spending the rest of my life with him. And even though we are not together now, it worked for a long time. We made it work. We had good times and bad times where, if we hadn't have had that 'piece of paper', it would have been so easy to walk away. In the end it was not to be. But, in my heart, I know we tried and gave it our best shot.
I'm not saying that you can't get that level of commitment without marriage, but it seems to me that marriage is just putting your money where your mouth is and saying 'We can do this together'.
Maybe it's an old-fashioned view, but it's just the way I see it.
Wembley 18/06/07
If there was a reason, it was you.
O2 Arena 18/09/09
I like that and I agree with it.....but I'm just not a gambling kind of woman.
I said I applaud those who have the successful marriages knowing the work it takes. I applaud you, my friend, for doing all the two of you could to make a go of it, even though it didn't work.
I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
Health Insurance!!
I'm sure my husband and I would have married anyhow, but we did when we did, 'cause he needed health insurance.
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
btw, lyrics??
Many people here are young and very intelligent in terms of sensitivity, relationships and love. I really applaud most of you because you seem to respect your others whether they are wives, gfs, husbands or boyfriends.
In my age group, I have seen more people complain constantly about their others as if they are so restrained by these people that they only bitch about. But you know, (think SNL, "da bears") I live in Chicago where I must say very few men are really evolved. (If you live here and are my age group, and also disagree, I apologize because I have not met you so I do not know this about you............)
Other than that, no hurry unless you need to wed before you have kids. Why burn the soup? (what???????)
Together we will float like angels.........
In the moment that you left the room, the album started skipping, goodbye to beauty shared with the ones that you love.........
you get married b/c you need a woman to cook and clean for you
and to do your "warsh"
lol
a wife who will bring you your slippers when you sink into your recliner after a hard day at the office and she'll greet you at the door with a smile on her face and a ribbon in her hair (and she'll keep the kids quiet b/c she knows you had a hard day at work)
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
:eek:
Good Housekeeping, circa 1950
I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!