The "I'm Actually in a Fucking Healthy and Happy Relationship/Marriage." Thread

GreenTeaDisease

geez, there are a freaking lot of married people on this board.

_Crazy_Mary_

Sure I complain about my husband, but we are happy and healthy. We're not technically married, but we've been together 10 years. He's a great guy, he stays home with the kids while I work 6 days a week. I cannot imagine life without him, my sweet baboo.

SENROCK

The Champ wrote:

Well for starters, when you're in a relationship, I'd recommend for you not to type 'already' as 'alreddie' because it might not go over as well as it does here ..

pffffft who's to say it wont be someone from here OR a bigger fan than me huh? and dont be a chump-i come here to not worry about my typing skills. just like some people dont care about their attitudes!!!

dunkman

i'm happpier now than i've ever been... i'm also getting lots of action... no this is not a co-incidence... i just wanted to say it

it'll be 9 years of marriage on 15th May...


edit: the people on this board who i thought would be happy in life, are... and strangely enough the board moaners (you all know who you are ) are the ones who live on their own with the obligatory cat/dog/pet and are generally miserable...

this scientific study was sponsored by Sweeping Generalisations Inc. .. for all your sweeping generalisation needs

Heineken Helen

Jennytree wrote:

I'm in a happy relationship. We only moved in together about 3 weeks ago and its better than I ever could have imagined (especially during the li'l hick up a few months ago), and still a li'l scary. And he better have the dinner ready when I get home from work

congrats and good luck Jenny... that's excellent.

As for the original post... yep, I am Doesn't get any healthier than long distance, eh?

Heineken Helen

decides2dream wrote:

i'm not really a superstitious person, tho my husband might say otherwise ...but yes, sometimes i am a wee bit *nervous* when i think, man, i am soooo happy....life is going well....we made it over that hurdle, better than ever, etc....b/c then.....well, who knows?

there are NO guarantees eh?
that's the scary part....and the beautiful part too.

It is pretty terrifying to realise your entire happiness rests in somebody elses hands :eek: but terrifying in a good way... especially when you trust the person will invest your happiness well and double it

Chazz

Heineken Helen wrote:

It is pretty terrifying to realise your entire happiness rests in somebody elses hands :eek: but terrifying in a good way... especially when you trust the person will invest your happiness well and double it

Have been married for nearly 3 years and have never been happier

myhook

my_small_self wrote:

Have been married for nearly 3 years and have never been happier

Same here, well July will be 3 years but still happier than I ever thought I would be.

Jennytree

Heineken Helen wrote:

congrats and good luck Jenny... that's excellent.

As for the original post... yep, I am Doesn't get any healthier than long distance, eh?

Cheers Helen And congrats to you too, the Irish Sea isn't that big

Rhinocerous Surprise

Heineken Helen wrote:

congrats and good luck Jenny... that's excellent.

As for the original post... yep, I am Doesn't get any healthier than long distance, eh?

I'll drink to that. Atlantic Ocean be damned - this is love!

decides2dream

Heineken Helen wrote:

It is pretty terrifying to realise your entire happiness rests in somebody elses hands :eek: but terrifying in a good way... especially when you trust the person will invest your happiness well and double it

well i don't believe that to be true. i do NOT think my entire happiness lies within my husband's hands, not at all. if we ended would i be devestated, heartbroken? you betcha. he has been a part of my life for the last 21 years. i don't know HOW i would get over it....but i KNOW i would. i am a strong person, and i also know that MY happiness lies solely within ME. my husband adds immeasurably to my life, both good and bad .......and he is THE most important person to me, etc......but yes, happiness lies within you.


i think when people start thinking their happiness is dependent or lies within the hands of someone else, is where there may be trouble. do i love and trust my husband implicitly? absolutely. but as a few have already said, no matter what, there are NO guarantees. on this board alone, people together/married....5....10.....15+ years....split. i am SURE when most, if not all, married they thought *forever*...and felt all the same love, etc. life is bizarre like that. we all can think we're *different* or that *our* relationship is immune.....and it may be, but it may be not either.


i believe this:

releaselauren wrote:

It takes two people to make a relationship survive and thrive. Sometimes you have to go through the lows to find the highs.

and to take it further, even sometimes it may only be one 'holding it together' for a while, at least...but it absolutely takes TWO for it to last and be happy long-term. no matter how well you *know* someone...you just...never......know. that's why i say, i cherish every moment of happiness in life, in my love....b/c who knows what tomorrow will bring?


all i DO know is MY happiness is my choice, and lies within ME.


oooooo, i 100% agree with this post too:

dunkman wrote:

i'm happpier now than i've ever been... i'm also getting lots of action... no this is not a co-incidence... i just wanted to say it

i agree, it is NOT a coincidence.
it's not *everything*...but it IS damn important. to me, anyway.

fanch75

decides2dream wrote:

all i DO know is MY happiness is my choice, and lies within ME.

This is absolutely true. That whole "you have to love yourself first" thing. Many put self-love in the fate of someone else. You can't really do that, it's too helpless and doesn't come from within.

Another person (in of itself) can't make you happy, but another person sure can make you miserable. It's sort of the other side of having money won't make you happy, but it'll remove the stress of having to worry about money.

decides2dream

fanch75 wrote:

This is absolutely true. That whole "you have to love yourself first" thing. Many put self-love in the fate of someone else. You can't really do that, it's too helpless and doesn't come from within.

Another person (in of itself) can't make you happy, but another person sure can make you miserable. It's sort of the other side of having money won't make you happy, but it'll remove the stress of having to worry about money.

yes...so true!

i think too, many people unconsciously choose to 'lose themselves' in a relationship and then if it does end, they are that much more unhappy....b/c somewhere along the way, they lost the essence of themselves. also, i think it's dangerous b/c if you link your personal happiness to tightly to that one person, may actually put more pressure on the relationship down the road, and let's face it...'needy' is never attractive. so when you try to be 'too close'...more than likely, you push the person away.


and hey, really......even being miserable, IS a choice in it's own way. sure, it's difficult to decide when enough is enough, but until you do, you are allowing yourself to be miserable. btw - not *you*...but the collective you, ya know?

comebackwoman

decides2dream wrote:

well i don't believe that to be true. i do NOT think my entire happiness lies within my husband's hands, not at all. if we ended would i be devestated, heartbroken? you betcha. he has been a part of my life for the last 21 years. i don't know HOW i would get over it....but i KNOW i would. i am a strong person, and i also know that MY happiness lies solely within ME. my husband adds immeasurably to my life, both good and bad .......and he is THE most important person to me, etc......but yes, happiness lies within you.


i think when people start thinking their happiness is dependent or lies within the hands of someone else, is where there may be trouble. do i love and trust my husband implicitly? absolutely. but as a few have already said, no matter what, there are NO guarantees. on this board alone, people together/married....5....10.....15+ years....split. i am SURE when most, if not all, married they thought *forever*...and felt all the same love, etc. life is bizarre like that. we all can think we're *different* or that *our* relationship is immune.....and it may be, but it may be not either.


i believe this:




and to take it further, even sometimes it may only be one 'holding it together' for a while, at least...but it absolutely takes TWO for it to last and be happy long-term. no matter how well you *know* someone...you just...never......know. that's why i say, i cherish every moment of happiness in life, in my love....b/c who knows what tomorrow will bring?


all i DO know is MY happiness is my choice, and lies within ME.


oooooo, i 100% agree with this post too:






i agree, it is NOT a coincidence.
it's not *everything*...but it IS damn important. to me, anyway.

I agree with all of this. When you're happy and content in your relationship it's hard to imagine ever not feeling that way...or to envision how you would handle it if things ever changed...but you just do...and the reason you do is cause your happiness really is YOUR happiness...other people may add to it...intensify it, etc...but they don't create it for you.

Sian-of-the-dead

Woo! over here! **waves**

In a healthy, normal relationship and the happiest I've ever been

audiodave

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Woo! over here! **waves**

In a healthy, normal relationship and the happiest I've ever been

We're healthy and normal?

Awesome.

Heineken Helen

decides2dream wrote:

well i don't believe that to be true. i do NOT think my entire happiness lies within my husband's hands, not at all. if we ended would i be devestated, heartbroken? you betcha. he has been a part of my life for the last 21 years. i don't know HOW i would get over it....but i KNOW i would. i am a strong person, and i also know that MY happiness lies solely within ME. my husband adds immeasurably to my life, both good and bad .......and he is THE most important person to me, etc......but yes, happiness lies within you.


i think when people start thinking their happiness is dependent or lies within the hands of someone else, is where there may be trouble. do i love and trust my husband implicitly? absolutely. but as a few have already said, no matter what, there are NO guarantees. on this board alone, people together/married....5....10.....15+ years....split. i am SURE when most, if not all, married they thought *forever*...and felt all the same love, etc. life is bizarre like that. we all can think we're *different* or that *our* relationship is immune.....and it may be, but it may be not either.


i believe this:




and to take it further, even sometimes it may only be one 'holding it together' for a while, at least...but it absolutely takes TWO for it to last and be happy long-term. no matter how well you *know* someone...you just...never......know. that's why i say, i cherish every moment of happiness in life, in my love....b/c who knows what tomorrow will bring?


all i DO know is MY happiness is my choice, and lies within ME.


oooooo, i 100% agree with this post too:






i agree, it is NOT a coincidence.
it's not *everything*...but it IS damn important. to me, anyway.

but you agreed that you'd be devestated and you don't know how you'd get over it. Even though you would, I know you would and I know I would what I mean is that person has the capability of destroying your world until you figure out how to fix it. You can argue the wording of this til the cows come home... but it's true! If we're as much in love as we think we are and for some reason the other person may at some stage decide to end it, no matter how much happiness is inside us it's gonna take you a while to find it again.

PJaddicted

fanch75 wrote:

This is absolutely true. That whole "you have to love yourself first" thing. Many put self-love in the fate of someone else. You can't really do that, it's too helpless and doesn't come from within.

Another person (in of itself) can't make you happy, but another person sure can make you miserable. It's sort of the other side of having money won't make you happy, but it'll remove the stress of having to worry about money.

This is totally true....you got it Fanch!!!

Not to say you wouldn't be sad or devastated if the relationship ends or your spouse dies....you WILL have to pick yourself up and find your happiness again, and it can be done, you won't ever be the same person as you were before...but you can be happy again. My mom was devastated when my Dad died suddenly 3 years ago....she was with him for 53 years, since she was 15 years old, we thought she would die soon after him. Well she didn't....far from it...although she still can't talk about dad with out crying....she is HAPPY again and moving in with her boyfriend. my mom likes to be happy...so she is. You can miss what was and still live and be happy...it truly is with in you.

oxc

decides2dream

Heineken Helen wrote:

but you agreed that you'd be devestated and you don't know how you'd get over it. Even though you would, I know you would and I know I would what I mean is that person has the capability of destroying your world until you figure out how to fix it. You can argue the wording of this til the cows come home... but it's true! If we're as much in love as we think we are and for some reason the other person may at some stage decide to end it, no matter how much happiness is inside us it's gonna take you a while to find it again.

sorry, again, i disagree. it's NOT true for me.
just b/c i would be unhappy for however long does NOT make my happiness DEPENDENT on one person, alone....b/c i CAN and WILL feel happy again. obviously then, MY happiness is NOT dependent on that one person.


of course i would be devastated....but imo that is NOT the same as my happiness being in the hands of someone else.

you want to say it's semantics, fine.....but i simply see it differently. personally, i think that's a-ok.


hopefully, i will NEVEr have to find that out first-hand.
but i say with absolute certainly for myself, my happiness is MY OWN.


getting back to the heart of this thread:
hail hail the lucky ones
i refer to those in love

PJaddicted wrote:

You can miss what was and still live and be happy...it truly is with in you.

The Champ

SENROCK! wrote:

pffffft who's to say it wont be someone from here OR a bigger fan than me huh? and dont be a chump-i come here to not worry about my typing skills. just like some people dont care about their attitudes!!!

Typing skills? You mean when you write 'alreddie' instead of 'already' it's a typo? I thought you were doing some kind of clever play on words..If this is the case, my bad ..