Before each game, Devin Hester will climb a flight of stairs he had built that goes into outer space. He will then race, and beat, a comet. Afterwards, he will come back down to earth, catch a New York City sewer rat by hand, rape it, and then run across country at 1.67 times the speed of light to the stadium. He then groans from the depths of his bowels, takes the world's largest dump, and then assaults record books. This is an average Sunday.
(depths of the bowels comment taken from failedpersephone)
thanks cory - I avoided the hell out of this thread because the premise was lame...had i known to look here for some of your comedic majesty rest assured I would have been chortling...
daytime...doesnt find you funny. hmmn, too bad.
I do.
IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
thanks cory - I avoided the hell out of this thread because the premise was lame...had i known to look here for some of your comedic majesty rest assured I would have been chortling...
daytime...doesnt find you funny. hmmn, too bad.
I do.
So sad that some fail to see the point of my existence on here. I'm sure when the time is right, and I'm no longer wanted here, I'll get the message when I attempt to log in and see that dirty little rectangle explaining why I can't:)
So sad that some fail to see the point of my existence on here. I'm sure when the time is right, and I'm no longer wanted here, I'll get the message when I attempt to log in and see that dirty little rectangle explaining why I can't:)
:eek: dirty little rectangles...
they have creams, and vinegar based solutions that can take care of that.
IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
So sad that some fail to see the point of my existence on here. I'm sure when the time is right, and I'm no longer wanted here, I'll get the message when I attempt to log in and see that dirty little rectangle explaining why I can't:)
Wah wah wah. You're getting whiny, dude. Not everyone is going to find you funny. Big deal. I got a chuckle out of the stuff but he didn't. Move on.
Before each game, Devin Hester will climb a flight of stairs he had built that goes into outer space. He will then race, and beat, a comet. Afterwards, he will come back down to earth, catch a New York City sewer rat by hand, rape it, and then run across country at 1.67 times the speed of light to the stadium. He then groans from the depths of his bowels, takes the world's largest dump, and then assaults record books. This is an average Sunday.
(depths of the bowels comment taken from failedpersephone)
Sounds like a Family Guy flashback, except even more lame.
9 times out of 10 Hester burns that clown, like he has plenty of times. Brown made a good angle and got him. This clip should not encourage other kickers to try and make an open field tackle on him. As it will result, most of the time, in what Todd Sauerbraun experienced.
is what this guy is doing to the record books comparable to what BABE RUTH DID????
Babe Ruth when he first showed up was hitting more home runs than ENTIRE TEAMS were hitting....He made a fucking joke of the record books....
Isnt what Devin Hester is doing the same thing??? Actually isnt it even MORE IMPRESSIVE????
Hester's awesome but you can't compare him to Ruth or Chamberlain simply because a kick returner doesn't touch the ball as often as Chamberlain did in basketball or bat as often as Ruth in baseball. he sure as hell makes the most of it when he has the ball though. He'll probably end up going down as the best kick returner ever....but that's it.
That wasn't even that impressive. I was thinking Hester was going to get jacked up.
It was great to watch! I'm just proud of our kicker...how many NFL teams/fans can say that?
I mean really, a kicker making a picture-perfect tackle like that on a superstar like Hester? Not really common.
Plus, he had already put the pressure on Hester earlier in the game--Brown hit him and forced him out of bounds. I don't think it will rile up all the kickers in the league but it was fun to watch.
His own reaction: "It was Devin Hester, are you kidding me? It was cool."
Great posts by EvilMerlin and eddievedder1977 (who doesn't love Cold Hard Football Facts?). I would just like to reiterate the point on how fleeting this sort of thing is these days. Guys like Desmond Howard, Chad Morton, and Dante Hall tend to flame out pretty quickly. They seem to have a season or two where it all comes together and then shoot right back down to Earth. Huge mistake for the Bears if they sign Hester to a big deal based solely on his kick return prowess.
Hester's awesome but you can't compare him to Ruth or Chamberlain simply because a kick returner doesn't touch the ball as often as Chamberlain did in basketball or bat as often as Ruth in baseball. he sure as hell makes the most of it when he has the ball though. He'll probably end up going down as the best kick returner ever....but that's it.
Actually a guy who returns both kickoffs and punts will touch the ball more in an average game than a baseball player will bat.
i dont even like da bears but watching this guy is sometimes my favorite part of sunday.
i cant remember what team it was but there was one team this year that kicked to him and actually shut him down. their special team was pretty impressive with tackling in that game.
but for the most part why do teams kick to him, seriously? not that im complaining i like watching him return kicks.
Great posts by EvilMerlin and eddievedder1977 (who doesn't love Cold Hard Football Facts?). I would just like to reiterate the point on how fleeting this sort of thing is these days. Guys like Desmond Howard, Chad Morton, and Dante Hall tend to flame out pretty quickly. They seem to have a season or two where it all comes together and then shoot right back down to Earth. Huge mistake for the Bears if they sign Hester to a big deal based solely on his kick return prowess.
Thanks for reading, before I knew it the post was pretty long haha.
Yeah, I don't see them giving him a big contract. Unless they figure out things with him offensively, there's just no reason to waste money on it. It'd be a huge gamble if they did. Or maybe fit back into the defense with all the injuries they've had. His original plans were to be a CB. But now they're just trying to figure out how to get his big play ability into the offense. So unless they settle on something, his window of opportunity might close because of constant shifting and he'll never get to settle into an impact position. Still, he's a ton of fun to watch he has the ball.
i cant remember what team it was but there was one team this year that kicked to him and actually shut him down. their special team was pretty impressive with tackling in that game.
but for the most part why do teams kick to him, seriously? not that im complaining i like watching him return kicks.
I think you're talking about Oakland. They did a really good job of boxing him in and preventing and returns for touchdowns. He did get about a 68 yard return but it was nullified by a penalty
Teams are still going to kick to him. There is a lot of pride at stake for those special teams players. They dont want to hear from their coordinator he doesn't trust them to stop #23. Eventually a team will find a way to contain him and everyone else will follow suit.
I think you're talking about Oakland. They did a really good job of boxing him in and preventing and returns for touchdowns. He did get about a 68 yard return but it was nullified by a penalty
Teams are still going to kick to him. There is a lot of pride at stake for those special teams players. They dont want to hear from their coordinator he doesn't trust them to stop #23. Eventually a team will find a way to contain him and everyone else will follow suit.
I thought Dallas shut him down as well? I kind of remember them kicking to him, and Hester not even bringing kickoffs out past the 10-15yrd line.
I was at the Bears-Cowboys game. Honestly, I don't remember what Hester did. It's not that I was drunk, I just tried my hardest to block out any memort of the game as it was an utter embarrasment.
Comments
(depths of the bowels comment taken from failedpersephone)
Why would you start was has no end?
daytime...doesnt find you funny. hmmn, too bad.
I do.
Probably.
I'm gonna miss you (again) Jose;)
Why would you start was has no end?
So sad that some fail to see the point of my existence on here. I'm sure when the time is right, and I'm no longer wanted here, I'll get the message when I attempt to log in and see that dirty little rectangle explaining why I can't:)
Why would you start was has no end?
:eek: dirty little rectangles...
they have creams, and vinegar based solutions that can take care of that.
nah you aint
going nowhere fast ,how is that for hick talk ..:D
That's all I was saying. He keeps attacking me for whatever reason. It's actually flattering.
Why would you start was has no end?
HAHAHA...pile of rocks...HAHAHA....that's a classic!
Sounds like a Family Guy flashback, except even more lame.
Hester's awesome but you can't compare him to Ruth or Chamberlain simply because a kick returner doesn't touch the ball as often as Chamberlain did in basketball or bat as often as Ruth in baseball. he sure as hell makes the most of it when he has the ball though. He'll probably end up going down as the best kick returner ever....but that's it.
Pearl Jam bootlegs:
http://wegotshit.blogspot.com
That wasn't even that impressive. I was thinking Hester was going to get jacked up.
It was great to watch! I'm just proud of our kicker...how many NFL teams/fans can say that?
I mean really, a kicker making a picture-perfect tackle like that on a superstar like Hester? Not really common.
Plus, he had already put the pressure on Hester earlier in the game--Brown hit him and forced him out of bounds. I don't think it will rile up all the kickers in the league but it was fun to watch.
His own reaction: "It was Devin Hester, are you kidding me? It was cool."
myspace.com/shaggy10680
i cant remember what team it was but there was one team this year that kicked to him and actually shut him down. their special team was pretty impressive with tackling in that game.
but for the most part why do teams kick to him, seriously? not that im complaining i like watching him return kicks.
Thanks for reading, before I knew it the post was pretty long haha.
Yeah, I don't see them giving him a big contract. Unless they figure out things with him offensively, there's just no reason to waste money on it. It'd be a huge gamble if they did. Or maybe fit back into the defense with all the injuries they've had. His original plans were to be a CB. But now they're just trying to figure out how to get his big play ability into the offense. So unless they settle on something, his window of opportunity might close because of constant shifting and he'll never get to settle into an impact position. Still, he's a ton of fun to watch he has the ball.
Teams are still going to kick to him. There is a lot of pride at stake for those special teams players. They dont want to hear from their coordinator he doesn't trust them to stop #23. Eventually a team will find a way to contain him and everyone else will follow suit.
I thought Dallas shut him down as well? I kind of remember them kicking to him, and Hester not even bringing kickoffs out past the 10-15yrd line.
2 punt returns for 1 yrd (0.5 avg)
5 kick returns for 86 yrds (17.2 avg)
2 fumbles
Here to die.
Scared alive.
my favorite jacked up moment http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PULVwe73LM
Yeah, I love that hit, just awesome!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1vCZ6zt4Es&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzL0piLtwJ8&feature=related
damn