Explain something to me, women..

comebackwoman

in_hiding79 wrote:

hehehe

Hey you! Welcome back

LikeAnOcean wrote:

Yeah, but my feelings for her are based on just knowing her for a few hours.. By now I'm sure she is not on the same page. I just thought it was odd the date went so well. If she was expecting more out of me on the first date, I sure wasn't expecting I was supposed to give it to her. I have my urges, but don't expect that out of somebody I barely know.

But like I said above, I'm done thinking about it.

Well if she was expecting more out of you than you were willing to give she may just not be the right person for you. It REALLY sucks when You feel something for someone and they're not on the same page. It's still early days with this girl - so no telling what will happen. A lot of times when you meet something you may not immediately be on the same page - but no saying it can't happen. Hope this works out for you - but if it doesn't, just keep looking. You'll find someone who's a good match

emily18

maybe she's just nervous to call you back
try calling her in a day or so.

norm

i'll be damned....a girl acting flighty.....i'm shocked!

writersu

wow, that is huge. But maybe she has some stuff to take care of before you get in her life.........idk...........

cheeseandrice

God, I hope not for your sake....but could it be possible that she was already dating another guy?

OffHeGoes29

patrickredeyes wrote:

Yea they like that guy for fun but is that what they really want?

No, they want to be the one that turns the bad ass man whore into a sweet guy with a sensitive side........


Then when they're 40 something and realize that they wasted their time and should have picked up good guy that treated them right in the first place, its too late.

xscorcho

LikeAnOcean wrote:

Yeah but If I wasn't into her why would I have called and emailed her right away? She knows I'm shy. She's a professional shrink for christs sakes.

ive always HEARD shrinks are the most mentally messed up!

personally, i wouldnt contact her again.... ball is in her court. good luck with whatever you choose

writersu

OffHeGoes29 wrote:

No, they want to be the one that turns the bad ass man whore into a sweet guy with a sensitive side........


Then when they're 40 something and realize that they wasted their time and should have picked up good guy that treated them right in the first place, its too late.

Or when they are 40 and their husband is using viagra, they may be googling the fun dude to see what ever happened to him........

just a thought..........

melva02

LikeAnOcean wrote:

The assessment doesn't hurt at all. Although she did seem really into me, but you may be right that she had second thoughts the next day and my best chance is laying low..

OK, call me the bad news girl, but I thought of another possibility. Maybe she knew she didn't want to see you again but just wanted to have a good date.

Once I was out with a friend and for some reason he was trying too hard to be funny. I decided to make the best of it and have a good time, so I practiced my charm skills by laughing anyway and trying to be a fun conversation partner. I was honestly making the best of it, not sitting there thinking "this guy sucks!". I don't think that's dishonest, BUT he probably thought that I thought he was really funny. In fact I thought he was way unfunny, but I didn't care because I was focused on enjoying his company.

Never mind, this doesn't apply to your situation, because she would not have invited you back and hung out all night if she were just charming you for the sake of it. Maybe she's just a total dork and couldn't handle sending lukewarm signals your way during the date, so she figured she would just diss you afterward, which is totally inconsiderate.

Maybe she's just lonely and wanted to have a fun time with someone, no matter who it was, which is somewhat inconsiderate since she didn't tell you what she was looking for.

But since you just met her, I say you drop her, now! Go back to match.com and find someone who's worth your time. But wait, she messaged you...what a weirdo. Or fickle, or picky, or just crazy. You should join the Pearl Jam dating service thread instead.

Melissa

melva02

(1) If she's a professional shrink, she is familiar with learning theory and could totally be calculating her actions to get the response she wants from you. Run.

(2) Incidentally, the phrase "I have my urges" is a major turnoff, to me at least. Not in an advice column thread like this, but if you said that in a context where sex was a possibility, I would gag. Not expecting anything on the first date is a major turnon, as is a willingness to install new software.

Melissa

LikeAnOcean

melva02 wrote:

OK, call me the bad news girl, but I thought of another possibility. Maybe she knew she didn't want to see you again but just wanted to have a good date.

Once I was out with a friend and for some reason he was trying too hard to be funny. I decided to make the best of it and have a good time, so I practiced my charm skills by laughing anyway and trying to be a fun conversation partner. I was honestly making the best of it, not sitting there thinking "this guy sucks!". I don't think that's dishonest, BUT he probably thought that I thought he was really funny. In fact I thought he was way unfunny, but I didn't care because I was focused on enjoying his company.

Never mind, this doesn't apply to your situation, because she would not have invited you back and hung out all night if she were just charming you for the sake of it. Maybe she's just a total dork and couldn't handle sending lukewarm signals your way during the date, so she figured she would just diss you afterward, which is totally inconsiderate.

Maybe she's just lonely and wanted to have a fun time with someone, no matter who it was, which is somewhat inconsiderate since she didn't tell you what she was looking for.

But since you just met her, I say you drop her, now! Go back to match.com and find someone who's worth your time. But wait, she messaged you...what a weirdo. Or fickle, or picky, or just crazy. You should join the Pearl Jam dating service thread instead.

Melissa

Pearl Jam dating service??? Count me in!!!


Anyone in Chicago???? *crickets* :cool:

LikeAnOcean

melva02 wrote:

(2) Incidentally, the phrase "I have my urges" is a major turnoff, to me at least. Not in an advice column thread like this, but if you said that in a context where sex was a possibility, I would gag. Not expecting anything on the first date is a major turnon, as is a willingness to install new software.

Melissa

I didn't expect anything on the first date, or second date, or even the third date.. By urges I was just saying, If she started to strip, I wouldn't stop her. :cool:

SENROCK

LikeAnOcean wrote:

Pearl Jam dating service??? Count me in!!!


Anyone in Chicago???? *crickets* :cool:

you should sign up on the site. Im quite the matchmaker, just ask redeyes!!!


about your situation......ive said it MANY times here. NEVER try to figure chicks out.
And.....the look of "passion" as you boys see it is ALOT of times just lustful makin out time. Nothing behind it just plain old lets have a good time and maybe someday i'll call you but ure not the ONLY one in my life.

South of Seattle

OffHeGoes29 wrote:

No, they want to be the one that turns the bad ass man whore into a sweet guy with a sensitive side........


Then when they're 40 something and realize that they wasted their time and should have picked up good guy that treated them right in the first place, its too late.

That's why it's best to be both types of guys in one package.

LikeAnOcean

SENROCK! wrote:

you should sign up on the site. Im quite the matchmaker, just ask redeyes!!!


about your situation......ive said it MANY times here. NEVER try to figure chicks out.
And.....the look of "passion" as you boys see it is ALOT of times just lustful makin out time. Nothing behind it just plain old lets have a good time and maybe someday i'll call you but ure not the ONLY one in my life.

Is there really a site.. and I'd be scared of the girl who wants to date me after reading my 15,000 posts..

SENROCK

LikeAnOcean wrote:

Is there really a site.. and I'd be scared of the girl who wants to date me after reading my 15,000 posts..

http://www.pjsingles.ning.com
I need to hook you up with someone because.......you've been searching for quite a while.

LikeAnOcean

SENROCK! wrote:

http://www.pjsingles.ning.com
I need to hook you up with someone because.......you've been searching for quite a while.

That is AWESOME!.. I'm too tired to sift through it now (it's bedtime here).. but I'll definitely book mark it for tomorrow, and you must keep my identity a secret to whom ever you might match me with.. nobody likes to hear bitchen'. :cool:

SENROCK

LikeAnOcean wrote:

That is AWESOME!.. I'm too tired to sift through it now (it's bedtime here).. but I'll definitely book mark it for tomorrow, and you must keep my identity a secret to whom ever you might match me with.. nobody likes to hear bitchen'. :cool:

No they dont BUT if thats part of you, dont hide it and be fake. THAT is NOT attractive!!!! Say what up to chicago please.......i MISS IT!!!

OffHeGoes29

South of Seattle wrote:

That's why it's best to be both types of guys in one package.

See thats the problem. I think people will be more sucsessfull finding someone when they let go of their fanticy of a perfect man or woman. THEY DON'T EXSIST, no one is perfect. You just need to find someone that will make you happy.

Sorry to not comment on your problem dude. Its rather simple, stop talking to her. Don't waste your time with a person thats not willing to call you back. Move on to the next women.

melva02

Yeah LikeAnOcean, join that singles network and find a girl who's good enough for you!

Melissa