Prostitution

unifiedscene

polaris wrote:

i'm gonna speculate that if you are fantasizing about having sex with your gf for the purpose of having a mutually beneficial experience that is as much about the connection and feelings you have for each other - then NO ... but if your sole purpose is to have sex with her so you can get off and you just are using her because she's available - then YES ...

You've never had wild passionate animal sex with a partner that's based solely on physical pleasure? It's always got some deep, soul-gazing, spiritual component? You're missing out...

angelica

polaris wrote:

i'm gonna speculate that if you are fantasizing about having sex with your gf for the purpose of having a mutually beneficial experience that is as much about the connection and feelings you have for each other - then NO ... but if your sole purpose is to have sex with her so you can get off and you just are using her because she's available - then YES ...

I'm not exactly sure how...but your post, due to it's awareness, is highlighting how men can cheat themselves out of really, really Amazing sex...on levels that they can't even begin to imagine....

lalalalaaaaaaaa

unifiedscene wrote:

And the response is... what's so wrong about imagining having sex with someone? Since when did fantasy become evil? Unless one takes it to the extent that we approach that person and attempt to get them to fulfill that fantasy with no regard to their opinion on the matter, what's the big deal? Are you saying it is impossible to ever fantasize about having sex with someone while still treating them with respect and dignity? That's absurd.

Jesus, you people must lead dull lives. I can't imagine a life without the joy of using my imagination.

Fantasy definitely isn't evil at all. And it's surely not impossible to fantasize without objectifying.

angelica

And let's just say, that in terms of having more "mind" (as opposed to groin) -boggling sex, or enLightened sex, or sex that is beyond your wildest dreams, 'vibes' is everything. And vibes aren't these vague intangible things...they are how we unconsciously show our intentions to people all the time, outside our own awareness. Some people read/hear these vibes unconsciously, and come to their assessments, and others are well aware of what signals we put out, and what they say about us. Hence, natural selection.....

Those who understand do. Those who do not, do not.

mammasan

polaris wrote:

i'm gonna speculate that if you are fantasizing about having sex with your gf for the purpose of having a mutually beneficial experience that is as much about the connection and feelings you have for each other - then NO ... but if your sole purpose is to have sex with her so you can get off and you just are using her because she's available - then YES ...

For the most part it's for the benefits of both of us, but sometimes I want to have sex just so I can get my rocks off and sometimes she just wants to have sex to get her jollies.

angelica

Saturnal wrote:

Fantasy definitely isn't evil at all. And it's surely not impossible to fantasize without objectifying.

I'm in total agreement.

mammasan

angelica wrote:

And let's just say, that in terms of having more "mind" (as opposed to groin) -boggling sex, or enLightened sex, or sex that is beyond your wildest dreams, 'vibes' is everything. And vibes aren't these vague intangible things...they are how we unconsciously show our intentions to people all the time, outside our own awareness. Some people read/hear these vibes unconsciously, and come to their assessments, and others are well aware of what signals we put out, and what they say about us. Hence, natural selection.....

Those who understand do. Those who do not, do not.

See these are the posts that irk me because you come off as having some higher enlightenment than other, which is certainly not the case. I don't have to spend my time off huddled in the self help section of my local Barnes & Noble to reach some form of enlightenment.

unifiedscene

angelica wrote:

I'm not exactly sure how...but your post, due to it's awareness, is highlighting how men can cheat themselves out of really, really Amazing sex...on levels that they can't even begin to imagine....

Only men eh?

unifiedscene

Saturnal wrote:

Fantasy definitely isn't evil at all. And it's surely not impossible to fantasize without objectifying.

As long as the fantasy involved a bed of roses and scented candles and a setting from a harlequin romance novel I presume.

polaris

unifiedscene wrote:

You've never had wild passionate animal sex with a partner that's based solely on physical pleasure? It's always got some deep, soul-gazing, spiritual component? You're missing out...

uhhh ... i'm not sure how you got that from my response ...

mammasan

unifiedscene wrote:

Only men eh?

I guess most of us just don't get it.

decides2dream

angelica wrote:

Advancement is advancement. What I did say is that the only difference between levels of evolution is the person's level of subjective pain. So, for example, one at a holistic level lives with a lot of joy and bliss. One on other levels, more "good"/"bad".



Attraction is the natural response. Objectification, as I am using the term, what we do with that attraction... when you look at someone like an object, without regard for who they are as a person (thoughts/feelings/intuitions), and in this context, further, when one tunes the humanity out, and chooses to seek sexual gratification for themselves, with this "object", on whatever level one does so, whether physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually.

wow...i am very holistic i live with a LOT of joy and bliss. i just never found the need to label it as holistic. seems just different labels from 'good' and 'bad'...but still a label.


and i guess it really comes down to one's definition of objectification, but i still fail to see how one can do anything else with the 'attraction' to a total stranger in a picture, on the bus, on the train...than objectify. obviously, i am well aware of this 'person'.....and that they possess thoughts/feelings/intuitions.....but if all i am doing is looking at them, the only information i can garner is physical.

polaris

angelica wrote:

I'm not exactly sure how...but your post, due to it's awareness, is highlighting how men can cheat themselves out of really, really Amazing sex...on levels that they can't even begin to imagine....

feel free to enlighten me ... i'm all ears ...

decides2dream

unifiedscene wrote:

Only men eh?

my thoughts exactly. seems some bias presented in that statement. of course, my own inference.
i believe ANYone is capable of doing so.


however, i don't think of it as 'cheating oneself' per se. some may, some may not reach the highest levels of sexual/spiritual statisfaction, but what they don't know...they really won't miss. however, even those who 'know'.......even just sex for the sake of the phsycial is pretty damn specatular, so i don't really see it as not so fun to engage in on occasion. it's fun ti mix it up?

unifiedscene

angelica wrote:

And let's just say, that in terms of having more "mind" (as opposed to groin) -boggling sex, or enLightened sex, or sex that is beyond your wildest dreams, 'vibes' is everything. And vibes aren't these vague intangible things...they are how we unconsciously show our intentions to people all the time, outside our own awareness. Some people read/hear these vibes unconsciously, and come to their assessments, and others are well aware of what signals we put out, and what they say about us. Hence, natural selection.....

Those who understand do. Those who do not, do not.

I won't deny that can be good. I had such a connection with the last girl I dated and there were many nights of very passionate, emotional sex. But it all started because I noticed her at work and thought she was smoking hot and I wanted to screw her brains out. So I approached her and started chatting and found other connections. Even so, there were times where I fantasized about nothing more than raw, physical sex without emotion. And there were times I simply threw her on the bed and had my way. She enjoyed that as well. Variety is the spice of life and sometimes throwing feelings out the window and just allowing ourselves to be the hedonistic animals we are can be every bit as fulfilling as any deep, spiritual experience. And the fact that I sometimes thought about nothing more than how physically attractive she was did not in any way inhibit my ability to love her and treat her as a human being that I cared about. The two are not mutually exclusive.

angelica

unifiedscene wrote:

Only men eh?

reading in again??

in that context, in that post, we were talking about a man fantasizing about having sex with his girlfriend...would you like to talk about the vast majority of women who do the same thing? They exist! As a majority!

Women as a majority, though, tend to be conditioned more emotionally and intuitively (source: MBTI personality typing). and therefore are more predisposed to taking things to less physical levels and more to emotional/spiritual o nes. And at the same time, since women are pursuing "equality" they are also changing their brain chemistry, and losing some of their natural "feminine" strengths in terms of the more traditionally "feminine" brain-preferences.(source: Mona Lisa Schulz, neuropsychiatrist, in her book: "The New Feminine Brain")...So, there are no hard/fast rules...but you can assess situation to situation, for sure..... just like with men....

Back to what polaris and Saturnal are expressing...this increased consciousness for males, into sexual matters....the results of an increased consciousness, awareness, and sensitivity to sexual matters pays off.

lalalalaaaaaaaa

unifiedscene wrote:

sometimes throwing feelings out the window and just allowing ourselves to be the hedonistic animals we are can be every bit as fulfilling as any deep, spiritual experience.

If you define yourself as a hedonistic animal, then of course that kinda sex can be totally fulfilling

decides2dream

unifiedscene wrote:

I won't deny that can be good. I had such a connection with the last girl I dated and there were many nights of very passionate, emotional sex. But it all started because I noticed her at work and thought she was smoking hot and I wanted to screw her brains out. So I approached her and started chatting and found other connections. Even so, there were times where I fantasized about nothing more than raw, physical sex without emotion. And there were times I simply threw her on the bed and had my way. She enjoyed that as well. Variety is the spice of life and sometimes throwing feelings out the window and just allowing ourselves to be the hedonistic animals we are can be every bit as fulfilling as any deep, spiritual experience. And the fact that I sometimes thought about nothing more than how physically attractive she was did not in any way inhibit my ability to love her and treat her as a human being that I cared about. The two are not mutually exclusive.

well said.

and absolutely fitting with

those who understand, do. those who do not do not. there is no *one* way to true fulfillment in life and in all things.

unifiedscene

Saturnal wrote:

If you define yourself as a hedonistic animal, then of course that kinda sex can be totally fulfilling

It's evolution baby. But no matter how evolved we are, we're still animals amigo. Gotta feed the Id sometimes.

decides2dream

Saturnal wrote:

If you define yourself as a hedonistic animal, then of course that kinda sex can be totally fulfilling

ANYthing can be 'totally fulfilling' if you choose to find it totally fulfilling. one does not need to *grade* every experience in life, put it on a sliding scale....and just appreciate things for what they are, as is....enjoy them.


so 'that kinda sex' can absolutely be totally fulfilling if you want it to be...and if you don't, it won't be. even this higher plane emotional sex can be absolutely fulfilling...or not. it really is what we choose it to be.



amazing how the topic of legalized prostitution has morphed. i love this board.