Anger is the default emotion ...........

onelongsong

melodious wrote:

maybe you aren't giving these children credit for a unique sense of reasoning skills...

i do agree that sometimes atmosphere at p/j is a bit aggressive, but what i love about pj is that kat and sea will let threads evolve as far as they can within their capacity.

yes..we can all learn to take a breath, but sometimes the forceful ness of anothers ire can cause good food for thought.

i agree with you on one point. reasoned debate is great. i lock horns with a lot of people because i'll take a point to extreemes just to get the debate moving. that is agressive debate and it's not only educational; it's fun. we're talking about personal attacks and anger directed at one person.

you argue with your friends. let's face it; you really can't argue with strangers (in real life). when you argue with your friends you keep it civil.
so in short; we're saying that it is possible to have heated debates while being civil and respectful to eachother.

melodious

onelongsong wrote:

i agree with you on one point. reasoned debate is great. i lock horns with a lot of people because i'll take a point to extreemes just to get the debate moving. that is agressive debate and it's not only educational; it's fun. we're talking about personal attacks and anger directed at one person.

you argue with your friends. let's face it; you really can't argue with strangers (in real life). when you argue with your friends you keep it civil.
so in short; we're saying that it is possible to have heated debates while being civil and respectful to eachother.

and with what do you disagree? i have found that learning to talk to complete strangers and to open myslef up to public eye has given me a great tool for self inventory...

and, i will say that this reasoned debate always gives me a chance to look at both sides of a topic.

but the greatest gift i have extracted from participation is that some of the techniques i have learned or even the eating of humble pie has created a better melody...in fact, when i first came here, i was pretty conservative in my thinking; i was one of those emotional reactors, and as i have allowed myself to get to know some of the "hard batters", i have realized that i couldn't understand even myself....when i had a bunch of anger interference surrounding me.. so, i say that this debating topic is not for me...and for that i apologize for my actions in the past...

the truth about anger, is it is our inner reflection where we are not paying attention to our rhythms and is reactionary...

when we are using energy resources for anger, we are missing out on the best and most easiest part of life and that is joy and love and even marvelling at yourself...

i not want to argue with anyone anymore....but we have choices to make for ourselves...and we have our mirrors to look in and this mirror is the path to your happiness, your prosperity, and your entire postitioning in the universe.

we are interconnected cosmic beings and each of us has an opportunity...

onelongsong

melodious wrote:

and with what do you disagree? i have found that learning to talk to complete strangers and to open myslef up to public eye has given me a great tool for self inventory...

and, i will say that this reasoned debate always gives me a chance to look at both sides of a topic.

but the greatest gift i have extracted from participation is that some of the techniques i have learned or even the eating of humble pie has created a better melody...in fact, when i first came here, i was pretty conservative in my thinking; i was one of those emotional reactors, and as i have allowed myself to get to know some of the "hard batters", i have realized that i couldn't understand even myself....when i had a bunch of anger interference surrounding me.. so, i say that this debating topic is not for me...and for that i apologize for my actions in the past...

the truth about anger, is it is our inner reflection where we are not paying attention to our rhythms and is reactionary...

when we are using energy resources for anger, we are missing out on the best and most easiest part of life and that is joy and love and even marvelling at yourself...

i not want to argue with anyone anymore....but we have choices to make for ourselves...and we have our mirrors to look in and this mirror is the path to your happiness, your prosperity, and your entire postitioning in the universe.

we are interconnected cosmic beings and each of us has an opportunity...

that's where i made my mistake. i opened up. if you saved all my posts you'd have a book about my entire life. the problem is; i had a very eventful life. i've had some of the worst things that can happen to a person happen to me. on the other hand; i've had some incredable things happen to me. i found that if i bring something good out of the bad things; i've got a good life. happiness isn't getting what you want; it's wanting what you have. i want what i have. i haven't been in a fight since 6th grade and i'm 51. if i get angry it only hurts me. from the rise in blood pressure to the stress on the body. so i fully understand what you're saying. but opening up isn't the answer here. for example; i had my identity stolen by a criminal. someone started the rumor that i stole someones identity. now what is that? i think jealousy because i can't think of any other reason. this is why my position is that jealousy breeds anger too.

melodious

onelongsong wrote:

that's where i made my mistake. i opened up. if you saved all my posts you'd have a book about my entire life. the problem is; i had a very eventful life. i've had some of the worst things that can happen to a person happen to me. on the other hand; i've had some incredable things happen to me. i found that if i bring something good out of the bad things; i've got a good life. happiness isn't getting what you want; it's wanting what you have. i want what i have. i haven't been in a fight since 6th grade and i'm 51. if i get angry it only hurts me. from the rise in blood pressure to the stress on the body. so i fully understand what you're saying. but opening up isn't the answer here.

i beg to differ with you, but not to say that opening up should be if in a public forum at a place where it's safe to do so, and audience extends an open ear to whatever the woe...most people who have charity in thier hearts, will either listen to your plea or help you by saying a kind word or two, but it can be so rare to find a real friend who is willing to walk a distance with you..a real person who sees the goodness in another person when that person may not even understand their beauty within..

most people don't really care enough to take out the time to violate others, most people are busy trying to understand themselves or follow their own legend..

how do i know this? well, i once danced around a dangerous pole...and i thought in my head that i was so ego centric, to think that someone else found me so impporatnat that they would want to erradicate my existence..i was so scared of this person, i moved to another town and then guess what! those people never even called me or really wanted to hurt me, they just found another naive soul to seduce..and it's been 25 years now...!!!!

i will always subscribe to being candid and open, but i think that the main point is to be able to articulate and to express one's grievences without assaulting another person's feelings...humans are like orchids, we can be very beautiful but the soul can be bruised so easiy..we are like an evolving resource to ourselves, we just have to want to make the changes in our hearts and once we do, each day is evoluitionary and fruitful..but we also have to understand that processes happen over time...

i remember a long while back, that a person here would just attack and attack and atttack and what good did it do for the energy..while on the other hand, yes there are a lot of insecure people, but if we can, we should always try to love and to serve others..

for example; i had my identity stolen by a criminal. someone started the rumor that i stole someones identity. now what is that? i think jealousy because i can't think of any other reason. this is why my position is that jealousy breeds anger too.

i guess i just come from the angle that i have nothing to take that i won't give willingly and freely...i too have had some mental issues surrounding the boards i participate at, but i found out, that even when another is trying to seduce me or manipulate me d questionablity that all this energy ; ie anxiety doubt, etc,...still and always will be my own reflection..that comes from within...

jealousy...i think that it's really more about seeking self approval...and i am the most guiltiest person who has exerted a lot of negative energy, even in the name of fun and even in and under certain themes of the board..again, i continue to learn..


i can tell you are one of the hard hitters i speak of becasue you speak of your positon as opposed to perspective....i guess both can be changed...thanks have a great day...be loving to who ever you encounter and it might make this universe a more postive place..

* i guess the reason i think making positive impact is so important is becasue nature and other variables will always throw us a curve ball...we need to have as much cushioning around us to exist and to maintain a healthy heart..

our minds and perspectives and love are the keys to make ourselves a bit more stable in a universe of correlation....

onelongsong

melodious wrote:

i beg to differ with you, but not to say that opening up should be if in a public forum at a place where it's safe to do so, and audience extends an open ear to whatever the woe...most people who have charity in thier hearts, will either listen to your plea or help you by saying a kind word or two, but it can be so rare to find a real friend who is willing to walk a distance with you..a real person who sees the goodness in another person when that person may not even understand their beauty within..

most people don't really care enough to take out the time to violate others, most people are busy trying to understand themselves or follow their own legend..

how do i know this? well, i once danced around a dangerous pole...and i thought in my head that i was so ego centric, to think that someone else found me so impporatnat that they would want to erradicate my existence..i was so scared of this person, i moved to another town and then guess what! those people never even called me or really wanted to hurt me, they just found another naive soul to seduce..and it's been 25 years now...!!!!

i will always subscribe to being candid and open, but i think that the main point is to be able to articulate and to express one's grievences without assaulting another person's feelings...humans are like orchids, we can be very beautiful but the soul can be bruised so easiy..we are like an evolving resource to ourselves, we just have to want to make the changes in our hearts and once we do, each day is evoluitionary and fruitful..but we also have to understand that processes happen over time...

i remember a long while back, that a person here would just attack and attack and atttack and what good did it do for the energy..while on the other hand, yes there are a lot of insecure people, but if we can, we should always try to love and to serve others..

i guess i just come from the angle that i have nothing to take that i won't give willingly and freely...i too have had some mental issues surrounding the boards i participate at, but i found out, that even when another is trying to seduce me or manipulate me d questionablity that all this energy ; ie anxiety doubt, etc,...still and always will be my own reflection..that comes from within...

jealousy...i think that it's really more about seeking self approval...and i am the most guiltiest person who has exerted a lot of negative energy, even in the name of fun and even in and under certain themes of the board..again, i continue to learn..


i can tell you are one of the hard hitters i speak of becasue you speak of your positon as opposed to perspective....i guess both can be changed...thanks have a great day...be loving to who ever you encounter and it might make this universe a more postive place..

* i guess the reason i think making positive impact is so important is becasue nature and other variables will always throw us a curve ball...we need to have as much cushioning around us to exist and to maintain a healthy heart..

our minds and perspectives and love are the keys to make ourselves a bit more stable in a universe of correlation....

you are really a nice person. thank you for the education and perspective too. see; this is how it should be. you have a great day too.

ols

duffy

lucylespian wrote:

.......... that humans go to whnever they are stressed or confronted in any way.
Anger is hard-wired. It does not need to be taught, or learnt, or conditioned in any way. It is the quickest emotion to arise, and the quickest to be transferred from one individual to another. It is trans-cultural and trans-species. MAke an angry face at a dog and it will display anger in return

Anger requires no thought, in fact it is the emotion of no thought. It is a primitve emotion, the one that protects against threat of all sorts.
It takes intelligence and thought and active effort to respond with a different emotion when you feel threatened.

So, here's the test.

If you disagree with me, how do you express that ????

i never liked it when people would equate anger with hurt all the time. anger is not always a derivative of hurt. times when i've said "that makes me mad" or "i'm angry" - i've had people say "no, you're hurt". arg! that'd make me....angry.
i think they are 2 separate and distinct sets of feelings most of the time. anger might be a result of being attempted to be "hurt" too many times, but by the time it's anger - that's what it is then! anger! it ain't hurt no more.

melodious

duffy wrote:

i think they are 2 separate and distinct sets of feelings most of the time. anger might be a result of being attempted to be "hurt" too many times, but by the time it's anger - that's what it is then! anger! it ain't hurt no more.

this could be equated with seeing red!!!!!

ols: it's always nice to talk to you, very nice indeed...!!!!