Yeah, it's funny but I can feel the difference between fear or anger sometimes. In terms of the response from my body.
Suppressed anger is a real downward spiral to depression so I can see how finding your "happy face" is so hard when that starts.
Not giving a shit is a really bad place to be luce. Hope your able to find some happy stuff soon.
but nobody has talked about jealousy. successful people here tend to draw a lot of anger and i suspect it's because of jealousy; which then is directed as anger.
great thread luce!
but nobody has talked about jealousy. successful people here tend to draw a lot of anger and i suspect it's because of jealousy; which then is directed as anger.
great thread luce!
Think what happens around here is that people get bored and some of them like to agitate. Makes them feel better. Maybe they even use it as a stress relief? Who knows? But I'm quite sure that like everywhere else, there are people who come here purely to pick fights with others for what ever they get out of it. Sad really.
Disagreements and arguing I understand, it's human nature and is also the nature of human interaction. And it's easy enough done when the only representation of a person is their online "persona" and their words. Easily misinterpreted when you don't have the luxury of being able to pick up visual and auditory cues.
But some of the other stuff that goes on, well it's all a bit tragic really. But I guess those folk sleep well enough at night, as do I and I'm sure you do too.
And yes, I really must agree! EXCELLENT thread lucy girl!
Think what happens around here is that people get bored and some of them like to agitate. Makes them feel better. Maybe they even use it as a stress relief? Who knows? But I'm quite sure that like everywhere else, there are people who come here purely to pick fights with others for what ever they get out of it. Sad really.
Disagreements and arguing I understand, it's human nature and is also the nature of human interaction. And it's easy enough done when the only representation of a person is their online "persona" and their words. Easily misinterpreted when you don't have the luxury of being able to pick up visual and auditory cues.
But some of the other stuff that goes on, well it's all a bit tragic really. But I guess those folk sleep well enough at night, as do I and I'm sure you do too.
And yes, I really must agree! EXCELLENT thread lucy girl!
i should have checked out how long you've been here. years ago we were one big family. this was a great place and i made many friends. sure we argued and debated but we always left as friends. i miss that. i miss it alot. it seems most of the people from years ago got fed up and left. it's really a shame. there is still a lot of good people here so don't get me wrong. many i wouldn't want to live without. i guess like everywhere else; a few can ruin a good thing for the many.
i should have checked out how long you've been here. years ago we were one big family. this was a great place and i made many friends. sure we argued and debated but we always left as friends. i miss that. i miss it alot. it seems most of the people from years ago got fed up and left. it's really a shame. there is still a lot of good people here so don't get me wrong. many i wouldn't want to live without. i guess like everywhere else; a few can ruin a good thing for the many.
Yeah, I missed all that OLS. Well I might have read about it but I wasn't attempting to interact at that point. And some days, with some people, I really wonder why I bother now. I can see why you would miss it and I can see why people would get sick of some of the nastiness and leave. But the only way to stop people from ruining your enjoyment of something is to not reward bad behaviour by even engaging or acknowledging it. Well certainly that seems the only feasible option in this circumstance anyway. Oh! And by continuing to live your truth. Don't let the bastards grind you down!!
I think people do get bored. I post when I'm at work, to relieve boredom and to chat to peeps with at least one common interest, being music in general and PJ in particular.
Some days the chat is great, other times, it seems everyone's lives are ful of angst, and it all leaks out here.
Too much information is goign to be an increasing problem for kids I think.
I think people do get bored. I post when I'm at work, to relieve boredom and to chat to peeps with at least one common interest, being music in general and PJ in particular.
Some days the chat is great, other times, it seems every one's lives are full of angst, and it all leaks out here.
Too much information is going to be an increasing problem for kids I think.
Yes, that was my rationale for coming here too luce. To chat with peeps who had a very important thing in common with me. And it sure beats endless Days of Our Lives and Oprah!!! I think humans crave interaction even when they're over people!
And I've been blessed really, if that's the right word, to have made many very fine friends. And I'm grateful for that. Very.
But certainly like everywhere else, this isn't a perfect little community, things change and change again here, like everywhere and I suppose we do need to remember that as best we can. It's all cause and effect really. So spreading venom, will only make things venomous, just like spreading love can only make more love right?
I really wish that we could all do a little better on reasoned debate and discussion (myself included of course! ), but even reasonable people mud sling when they're frustrated. And tools, well they're exactly that, tools. So the only real option we have for dealing with them is ignoring them. I know that there are people here that don't like me, just as there are people here I don't like. We can't all like everyone all of the time.
I guess, because this is a community of sorts, that some days people are angst ridden and looking for support, and I figure that a good community will do that, support the weak, tired, sick and angst ridden when they need it.
I think parents and teachers have a really valuable contribution to make when it comes to kids becoming more susceptible to too much information. A well adjusted child that is familiar with good communication skills that has a healthy self esteem, would be able to discuss situations where this occurs for them. And they should be confident and comfortable enough with their parents to ask questions in order to process when this happens. And being protected from it is also really important. Something that some parents don't seem to realize. Unfortunately, the media and marketing has no problem with subjecting kids to tmi and while that is still being sanctioned, at the very least tacitly agreed to, then I too, fear like you that it will become an increasing problem.
So spreading venom, will only make things venomous, just like spreading love can only make more love right?
This is a great quote , girlie !!
Lately I've found this place a microcosm of teh real world.
I'm actually wondering where my place is for teh rest of my life.
I've always been a peaceful person, but teh world has ramped up it's level of speed and aggression to the point where I am unwilling to cope with participating in it.
Mentally, I dropped out some time ago, and visit teh real world to work, tehn retraeat to my own littel la la land, but lately the world but wants to barge it's flabby arse in there too.
I'm not really as glum as I've sounded the last few days, just feeling though I always have to work at maintaining my equilibrium, instead of just being able to hang there undisturbed.
That;'s it I think, not that I have lost balance, just that I keep getting knoked off balance, adn have to come back again.
Lately I've found this place a microcosm of teh real world.
I'm actually wondering where my place is for teh rest of my life.
I've always been a peaceful person, but teh world has ramped up it's level of speed and aggression to the point where I am unwilling to cope with participating in it.
Mentally, I dropped out some time ago, and visit teh real world to work, tehn retraeat to my own littel la la land, but lately the world but wants to barge it's flabby arse in there too.
I'm not really as glum as I've sounded the last few days, just feeling though I always have to work at maintaining my equilibrium, instead of just being able to hang there undisturbed.
That;'s it I think, not that I have lost balance, just that I keep getting knoked off balance, adn have to come back again.
Three things that motivate a man.........
Food
Sex (of course)
Peace and quiet
Yeah, I think it's systemic of the world we are living in luce, sad to say.
Seems that all the anger that is going around, just keeps getting passed on, from one another and building up too I think. For everyone.
And not being able to constantly protect oneself from the onslaught can be very upsetting. Losing one's equilibrium, or even having to fight to maintain it can be such an exhausting game.
I think you're right to focus on the important stuff where you can, like food and sex (of course ) and peace and quiet. Bit of all three can be a marvelous anecdote for living in the hustle and bustle of the world. And of course because all three are such prime examples of love, well if you can get em and get em often, then I reckon sooner or later they have to pay dividends against the anger and the negativity. Well one can only hope right?
so i cant just be going mental? my anger cant be caused by some chemical imbalance?
cate, I think you'll find that it's the system, your system as a whole entity.
I mean, can you remember the thing that caused you to first get angry? the very first time? Which would then lead to you producing the chemicals in the first place? Coz I know I sure as hell can't. And I doubt a scientist could pin point the exact moment either. I have to wonder that it's all one way or another anyway. Most likely a few contributing factors, like hormones and chemicals in the body, AND how the brain functions, AND outside influences all combine to produce anger as a response in the body as well as observing others be angry, as well as stress, depression, learned behaviours. I mean let's face it, sometimes people do things that any reasonable person, even the most mild mannered person, would get angry with. It's what you do with the anger.
I really think this whole thing is like the chicken and the egg.
cate, I think you'll find that it's the system, your system as a whole entity.
I mean, can you remember the thing that caused you to first get angry? the very first time? Which would then lead to you producing the chemicals in the first place? Coz I know I sure as hell can't. And I doubt a scientist could pin point the exact moment either. I have to wonder that it's all one way or another anyway. Most likely a few contributing factors, like hormones and chemicals in the body, AND how the brain functions, AND outside influences all combine to produce anger as a response in the body as well as observing others be angry, as well as stress, depression, learned behaviours. I mean let's face it, sometimes people do things that any reasonable person, even the most mild mannered person, would get angry with. It's what you do with the anger.
I really think this whole thing is like the chicken and the egg.
its me. its no outside influence. that much i do know.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
its me. its no outside influence. that much i do know.
Ok, so I don't think there's anything wrong with you myself. You've always been highly refreshing and in tune with your emotions to me.
In that you recognize when you're feeling angry, you warn people that you are, you state what you think the likely consequences will be if someone keeps poking at you with the stick and then you release your anger if they persist. Well that's what I've observed anyway. And it seems perfectly reasonable behaviour. But if you are feeling that you want to understand that side of yourself better then why not experiment a little? Do your own little scientific study on yourself? Keep a feelings journal purely for monitoring your emotions particularly anger? And mark down how you feel on a day 1 to 10. And maybe add any other pertinent stuff like menstrual cycle, sleep cycle, things that may be stressing you, things that you may have reacted to? I don't know if it's the kinda thing that would appeal to you but I had to do something similar a few years ago and I was surprised at what I learned.
Sorry , my two bobs worth, just thought it might help if that's what you're needing.
Ok, so I don't think there's anything wrong with you myself. You've always been highly refreshing and in tune with your emotions to me.
In that you recognize when you're feeling angry, you warn people that you are, you state what you think the likely consequences will be if someone keeps poking at you with the stick and then you release your anger if they persist. Well that's what I've observed anyway. And it seems perfectly reasonable behaviour. But if you are feeling that you want to understand that side of yourself better then why not experiment a little? Do your own little scientific study on yourself? Keep a feelings journal purely for monitoring your emotions particularly anger? And mark down how you feel on a day 1 to 10. And maybe add any other pertinent stuff like menstrual cycle, sleep cycle, things that may be stressing you, things that you may have reacted to? I don't know if it's the kinda thing that would appeal to you but I had to do something similar a few years ago and I was surprised at what I learned.
Sorry , my two bobs worth, just thought it might help if that's what you're needing.
yes well the fact that i am able to warn people of my anger isn't really something i am proud of. it's the times i fly off the deep end that freak people out teh most and i can't warn them of those. i truly scare myself at times. and the methods i use to cope are just that. some are destructive and some are creative. some ive replaced by other methods. and what stresses me is the anger. i tell myself its normal(whatever that means). that there is nothing wrong with me. i can fake the happy thing well. i do it all the time.
at the moment i feel contented. but only in relation to a specific part of my life. all the rest is the same as its always been. i can separate the two feelings. which quite frankly i think is progress for me.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
so i cant just be going mental? my anger cant be caused by some chemical imbalance?
I don't want to analyse you, cos that's impolite, but if I might repeat an earlier statement that seemd to slide past, but was actually intended as an important clue for anybody..........
Anger is the predominant symptom of depression in men and teenageers, less so in women, but ceratinly happens there too.
Talking about chemical imbalances is not helpful for people to under stand their mental state and what produced it.
Interferon treatment is a specific exception, causing a predictable drug-induced depression. MJ/alcohol/benzos are also chemical depressants, esp in women.
Bipolar afffective disorder seems to run in families and csues mood disorder in poeople without needs an external trigger.
Apart from that, all depression and "mood disorder" is caused by stuff that happens in our life, and is most commonly related to unresolved grief issues.
I can't stress enough how much emotional trauma unresolved grief causes.
I don't want to analyse you, cos that's impolite, but if I might repeat an earlier statement that seemd to slide past, but was actually intended as an important clue for anybody..........
Anger is the predominant symptom of depression in men and teenageers, less so in women, but ceratinly happens there too.
Talking about chemical imbalances is not helpful for people to under stand their mental state and what produced it.
Interferon treatment is a specific exception, causing a predictable drug-induced depression. MJ/alcohol/benzos are also chemical depressants, esp in women.
Bipolar afffective disorder seems to run in families and csues mood disorder in poeople without needs an external trigger.
Apart from that, all depression and "mood disorder" is caused by stuff that happens in our life, and is most commonly related to unresolved grief issues.
I can't stress enough how much emotional trauma unresolved grief causes.
it didn't slide by lucy.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
A hormone like cortisol can't really cause "damage". What does happen is changes in receptor populations and down or up regulation of receptor senstivity. It's a commonly taught mistake that hormones are "messengers". The message is in the receptor, not the hormone.
These changes are caused by things like depression, not the pther way around. With a few sprcific exceptions, "changes in brain chemistry" are a result of depression etc, not a cause.
ie, all a hormone does is activate a receptor, it's what teh receptor is connected to that determines the response.
Last time I looked, which was some years ago, there had been some 150 neuropeptides described within synaptic clefts which modulate neurotransmitter activity. I doubt even God knows how many there are now, since he has been busy making stars in the Cone Nebula.
lol @ God.
Ok, what about animals? I'm sure you are familiar with the craze over Priaire vs Montane Voles and the correlation of Oxytocin/Vasopressin receptors and Promescuity. Do you believe that these receptors, their sensitivity and the production of the neuropeptides are all caused by the Vole's decision to be promescuous? And why is it that almost all prairie voles are monogomous while the montane voles are promiscuous?
I would imagine the chain of causality as such; environmental factors cause the placement, receptivity and so on of neuroreceptors, which then cause a phenomenalogical mental state such as depression. But you are saying that the phenomenalogical mental state of depression comes before the brain? Or something else?
I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
why don't ya all try love to manage anger? most of you who know me, have witnessed that see-saw effect about me presence, but i tell you, i have been doing some of these classes via email that has give me a guide to be my onw answer.
i have discovered that i have looked at other perople for my own solice and that gave me free gratis to the blame game..
truth is is humans stop look and listend to theri hearts, no body really wants anger to be their driving force. would we all love to be in harmony with our selves..??
this is a great thread; and so much better to worry about what lies within our souls..this is where real change begins from within."..locally..."
someone very wise told me this and where most people might interpret locally as their surrounding municipality, local means within......
I think people do get bored. I post when I'm at work, to relieve boredom and to chat to peeps with at least one common interest, being music in general and PJ in particular.
Some days the chat is great, other times, it seems everyone's lives are ful of angst, and it all leaks out here.
Too much information is goign to be an increasing problem for kids I think.
i came here when i became permanently disabled. i was housebound and needed contact with the outside world. it's hard to go from seeing over 100 people a day to seeing no one for weeks. a good percentage of the board are here for the same reason. when i got better i stayed about for the friendships i developed. it seems that people are angrier now than a few years ago. not just here but in general. because of that i think the board should be more compassionate more than ever because we should be supportive of eachother. as you said; we share a common interest.
as far as too much information; this is an all ages board and some of the talk here is inappropriate. i know of 2 13 yr old girls that frequent the board and i can't believe how some people will talk in front of children. especially now during summer break.
Yeah, I missed all that OLS. Well I might have read about it but I wasn't attempting to interact at that point. And some days, with some people, I really wonder why I bother now. I can see why you would miss it and I can see why people would get sick of some of the nastiness and leave. But the only way to stop people from ruining your enjoyment of something is to not reward bad behaviour by even engaging or acknowledging it. Well certainly that seems the only feasible option in this circumstance anyway. Oh! And by continuing to live your truth. Don't let the bastards grind you down!!
the few offenders won't get a rise out of me. the people that know me know the truth and most of the others know they are twisting the facts so it only makes them look bad.
what ruins the enjoyment is seeing that there are people like that. their anger is like a cancer that spreads throughout the board.
now don't get me wrong; we have a lot of great people here. i met a lot of my best friends on the board. we're discussing anger and i'm giving my opinions about anger; not about the board in general.
maybe you aren't giving these children credit for a unique sense of reasoning skills...
i do agree that sometimes atmosphere at p/j is a bit aggressive, but what i love about pj is that kat and sea will let threads evolve as far as they can within their capacity.
yes..we can all learn to take a breath, but sometimes the forceful ness of anothers ire can cause good food for thought.
all insanity:
a derivitive of nature.
nature is god
god is love
love is light
maybe you aren't giving these children credit for a unique sense of reasoning skills...
i do agree that sometimes atmosphere at p/j is a bit aggressive, but what i love about pj is that kat and sea will let threads evolve as far as they can within their capacity.
yes..we can all learn to take a breath, but sometimes the forceful ness of anothers ire can cause good food for thought.
i agree with you on one point. reasoned debate is great. i lock horns with a lot of people because i'll take a point to extreemes just to get the debate moving. that is agressive debate and it's not only educational; it's fun. we're talking about personal attacks and anger directed at one person.
you argue with your friends. let's face it; you really can't argue with strangers (in real life). when you argue with your friends you keep it civil.
so in short; we're saying that it is possible to have heated debates while being civil and respectful to eachother.
i agree with you on one point. reasoned debate is great. i lock horns with a lot of people because i'll take a point to extreemes just to get the debate moving. that is agressive debate and it's not only educational; it's fun. we're talking about personal attacks and anger directed at one person.
you argue with your friends. let's face it; you really can't argue with strangers (in real life). when you argue with your friends you keep it civil.
so in short; we're saying that it is possible to have heated debates while being civil and respectful to eachother.
and with what do you disagree? i have found that learning to talk to complete strangers and to open myslef up to public eye has given me a great tool for self inventory...
and, i will say that this reasoned debate always gives me a chance to look at both sides of a topic.
but the greatest gift i have extracted from participation is that some of the techniques i have learned or even the eating of humble pie has created a better melody...in fact, when i first came here, i was pretty conservative in my thinking; i was one of those emotional reactors, and as i have allowed myself to get to know some of the "hard batters", i have realized that i couldn't understand even myself....when i had a bunch of anger interference surrounding me.. so, i say that this debating topic is not for me...and for that i apologize for my actions in the past...
the truth about anger, is it is our inner reflection where we are not paying attention to our rhythms and is reactionary...
when we are using energy resources for anger, we are missing out on the best and most easiest part of life and that is joy and love and even marvelling at yourself...
i not want to argue with anyone anymore....but we have choices to make for ourselves...and we have our mirrors to look in and this mirror is the path to your happiness, your prosperity, and your entire postitioning in the universe.
we are interconnected cosmic beings and each of us has an opportunity...
all insanity:
a derivitive of nature.
nature is god
god is love
love is light
and with what do you disagree? i have found that learning to talk to complete strangers and to open myslef up to public eye has given me a great tool for self inventory...
and, i will say that this reasoned debate always gives me a chance to look at both sides of a topic.
but the greatest gift i have extracted from participation is that some of the techniques i have learned or even the eating of humble pie has created a better melody...in fact, when i first came here, i was pretty conservative in my thinking; i was one of those emotional reactors, and as i have allowed myself to get to know some of the "hard batters", i have realized that i couldn't understand even myself....when i had a bunch of anger interference surrounding me.. so, i say that this debating topic is not for me...and for that i apologize for my actions in the past...
the truth about anger, is it is our inner reflection where we are not paying attention to our rhythms and is reactionary...
when we are using energy resources for anger, we are missing out on the best and most easiest part of life and that is joy and love and even marvelling at yourself...
i not want to argue with anyone anymore....but we have choices to make for ourselves...and we have our mirrors to look in and this mirror is the path to your happiness, your prosperity, and your entire postitioning in the universe.
we are interconnected cosmic beings and each of us has an opportunity...
that's where i made my mistake. i opened up. if you saved all my posts you'd have a book about my entire life. the problem is; i had a very eventful life. i've had some of the worst things that can happen to a person happen to me. on the other hand; i've had some incredable things happen to me. i found that if i bring something good out of the bad things; i've got a good life. happiness isn't getting what you want; it's wanting what you have. i want what i have. i haven't been in a fight since 6th grade and i'm 51. if i get angry it only hurts me. from the rise in blood pressure to the stress on the body. so i fully understand what you're saying. but opening up isn't the answer here. for example; i had my identity stolen by a criminal. someone started the rumor that i stole someones identity. now what is that? i think jealousy because i can't think of any other reason. this is why my position is that jealousy breeds anger too.
that's where i made my mistake. i opened up. if you saved all my posts you'd have a book about my entire life. the problem is; i had a very eventful life. i've had some of the worst things that can happen to a person happen to me. on the other hand; i've had some incredable things happen to me. i found that if i bring something good out of the bad things; i've got a good life. happiness isn't getting what you want; it's wanting what you have. i want what i have. i haven't been in a fight since 6th grade and i'm 51. if i get angry it only hurts me. from the rise in blood pressure to the stress on the body. so i fully understand what you're saying. but opening up isn't the answer here.
i beg to differ with you, but not to say that opening up should be if in a public forum at a place where it's safe to do so, and audience extends an open ear to whatever the woe...most people who have charity in thier hearts, will either listen to your plea or help you by saying a kind word or two, but it can be so rare to find a real friend who is willing to walk a distance with you..a real person who sees the goodness in another person when that person may not even understand their beauty within..
most people don't really care enough to take out the time to violate others, most people are busy trying to understand themselves or follow their own legend..
how do i know this? well, i once danced around a dangerous pole...and i thought in my head that i was so ego centric, to think that someone else found me so impporatnat that they would want to erradicate my existence..i was so scared of this person, i moved to another town and then guess what! those people never even called me or really wanted to hurt me, they just found another naive soul to seduce..and it's been 25 years now...!!!!
i will always subscribe to being candid and open, but i think that the main point is to be able to articulate and to express one's grievences without assaulting another person's feelings...humans are like orchids, we can be very beautiful but the soul can be bruised so easiy..we are like an evolving resource to ourselves, we just have to want to make the changes in our hearts and once we do, each day is evoluitionary and fruitful..but we also have to understand that processes happen over time...
i remember a long while back, that a person here would just attack and attack and atttack and what good did it do for the energy..while on the other hand, yes there are a lot of insecure people, but if we can, we should always try to love and to serve others..
for example; i had my identity stolen by a criminal. someone started the rumor that i stole someones identity. now what is that? i think jealousy because i can't think of any other reason. this is why my position is that jealousy breeds anger too.
i guess i just come from the angle that i have nothing to take that i won't give willingly and freely...i too have had some mental issues surrounding the boards i participate at, but i found out, that even when another is trying to seduce me or manipulate me d questionablity that all this energy ; ie anxiety doubt, etc,...still and always will be my own reflection..that comes from within...
jealousy...i think that it's really more about seeking self approval...and i am the most guiltiest person who has exerted a lot of negative energy, even in the name of fun and even in and under certain themes of the board..again, i continue to learn..
i can tell you are one of the hard hitters i speak of becasue you speak of your positon as opposed to perspective....i guess both can be changed...thanks have a great day...be loving to who ever you encounter and it might make this universe a more postive place..
* i guess the reason i think making positive impact is so important is becasue nature and other variables will always throw us a curve ball...we need to have as much cushioning around us to exist and to maintain a healthy heart..
our minds and perspectives and love are the keys to make ourselves a bit more stable in a universe of correlation....
all insanity:
a derivitive of nature.
nature is god
god is love
love is light
i beg to differ with you, but not to say that opening up should be if in a public forum at a place where it's safe to do so, and audience extends an open ear to whatever the woe...most people who have charity in thier hearts, will either listen to your plea or help you by saying a kind word or two, but it can be so rare to find a real friend who is willing to walk a distance with you..a real person who sees the goodness in another person when that person may not even understand their beauty within..
most people don't really care enough to take out the time to violate others, most people are busy trying to understand themselves or follow their own legend..
how do i know this? well, i once danced around a dangerous pole...and i thought in my head that i was so ego centric, to think that someone else found me so impporatnat that they would want to erradicate my existence..i was so scared of this person, i moved to another town and then guess what! those people never even called me or really wanted to hurt me, they just found another naive soul to seduce..and it's been 25 years now...!!!!
i will always subscribe to being candid and open, but i think that the main point is to be able to articulate and to express one's grievences without assaulting another person's feelings...humans are like orchids, we can be very beautiful but the soul can be bruised so easiy..we are like an evolving resource to ourselves, we just have to want to make the changes in our hearts and once we do, each day is evoluitionary and fruitful..but we also have to understand that processes happen over time...
i remember a long while back, that a person here would just attack and attack and atttack and what good did it do for the energy..while on the other hand, yes there are a lot of insecure people, but if we can, we should always try to love and to serve others..
i guess i just come from the angle that i have nothing to take that i won't give willingly and freely...i too have had some mental issues surrounding the boards i participate at, but i found out, that even when another is trying to seduce me or manipulate me d questionablity that all this energy ; ie anxiety doubt, etc,...still and always will be my own reflection..that comes from within...
jealousy...i think that it's really more about seeking self approval...and i am the most guiltiest person who has exerted a lot of negative energy, even in the name of fun and even in and under certain themes of the board..again, i continue to learn..
i can tell you are one of the hard hitters i speak of becasue you speak of your positon as opposed to perspective....i guess both can be changed...thanks have a great day...be loving to who ever you encounter and it might make this universe a more postive place..
* i guess the reason i think making positive impact is so important is becasue nature and other variables will always throw us a curve ball...we need to have as much cushioning around us to exist and to maintain a healthy heart..
our minds and perspectives and love are the keys to make ourselves a bit more stable in a universe of correlation....
you are really a nice person. thank you for the education and perspective too. see; this is how it should be. you have a great day too.
.......... that humans go to whnever they are stressed or confronted in any way.
Anger is hard-wired. It does not need to be taught, or learnt, or conditioned in any way. It is the quickest emotion to arise, and the quickest to be transferred from one individual to another. It is trans-cultural and trans-species. MAke an angry face at a dog and it will display anger in return
Anger requires no thought, in fact it is the emotion of no thought. It is a primitve emotion, the one that protects against threat of all sorts.
It takes intelligence and thought and active effort to respond with a different emotion when you feel threatened.
So, here's the test.
If you disagree with me, how do you express that ????
i never liked it when people would equate anger with hurt all the time. anger is not always a derivative of hurt. times when i've said "that makes me mad" or "i'm angry" - i've had people say "no, you're hurt". arg! that'd make me....angry.
i think they are 2 separate and distinct sets of feelings most of the time. anger might be a result of being attempted to be "hurt" too many times, but by the time it's anger - that's what it is then! anger! it ain't hurt no more.
i think they are 2 separate and distinct sets of feelings most of the time. anger might be a result of being attempted to be "hurt" too many times, but by the time it's anger - that's what it is then! anger! it ain't hurt no more.
this could be equated with seeing red!!!!!
ols: it's always nice to talk to you, very nice indeed...!!!!
all insanity:
a derivitive of nature.
nature is god
god is love
love is light
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but nobody has talked about jealousy. successful people here tend to draw a lot of anger and i suspect it's because of jealousy; which then is directed as anger.
great thread luce!
Think what happens around here is that people get bored and some of them like to agitate. Makes them feel better. Maybe they even use it as a stress relief? Who knows? But I'm quite sure that like everywhere else, there are people who come here purely to pick fights with others for what ever they get out of it. Sad really.
Disagreements and arguing I understand, it's human nature and is also the nature of human interaction. And it's easy enough done when the only representation of a person is their online "persona" and their words. Easily misinterpreted when you don't have the luxury of being able to pick up visual and auditory cues.
But some of the other stuff that goes on, well it's all a bit tragic really. But I guess those folk sleep well enough at night, as do I and I'm sure you do too.
And yes, I really must agree! EXCELLENT thread lucy girl!
*~You're IT Bert!~*
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i should have checked out how long you've been here. years ago we were one big family. this was a great place and i made many friends. sure we argued and debated but we always left as friends. i miss that. i miss it alot. it seems most of the people from years ago got fed up and left. it's really a shame. there is still a lot of good people here so don't get me wrong. many i wouldn't want to live without. i guess like everywhere else; a few can ruin a good thing for the many.
Yeah, I missed all that OLS. Well I might have read about it but I wasn't attempting to interact at that point. And some days, with some people, I really wonder why I bother now. I can see why you would miss it and I can see why people would get sick of some of the nastiness and leave. But the only way to stop people from ruining your enjoyment of something is to not reward bad behaviour by even engaging or acknowledging it. Well certainly that seems the only feasible option in this circumstance anyway. Oh! And by continuing to live your truth.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
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Some days the chat is great, other times, it seems everyone's lives are ful of angst, and it all leaks out here.
Too much information is goign to be an increasing problem for kids I think.
Yes, that was my rationale for coming here too luce. To chat with peeps who had a very important thing in common with me.
And I've been blessed really, if that's the right word, to have made many very fine friends. And I'm grateful for that. Very.
But certainly like everywhere else, this isn't a perfect little community, things change and change again here, like everywhere and I suppose we do need to remember that as best we can. It's all cause and effect really. So spreading venom, will only make things venomous, just like spreading love can only make more love right?
I really wish that we could all do a little better on reasoned debate and discussion (myself included of course!
I guess, because this is a community of sorts, that some days people are angst ridden and looking for support, and I figure that a good community will do that, support the weak, tired, sick and angst ridden when they need it.
I think parents and teachers have a really valuable contribution to make when it comes to kids becoming more susceptible to too much information. A well adjusted child that is familiar with good communication skills that has a healthy self esteem, would be able to discuss situations where this occurs for them. And they should be confident and comfortable enough with their parents to ask questions in order to process when this happens. And being protected from it is also really important. Something that some parents don't seem to realize. Unfortunately, the media and marketing has no problem with subjecting kids to tmi and while that is still being sanctioned, at the very least tacitly agreed to, then I too, fear like you that it will become an increasing problem.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
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The currents will shift
This is a great quote , girlie !!
Lately I've found this place a microcosm of teh real world.
I'm actually wondering where my place is for teh rest of my life.
I've always been a peaceful person, but teh world has ramped up it's level of speed and aggression to the point where I am unwilling to cope with participating in it.
Mentally, I dropped out some time ago, and visit teh real world to work, tehn retraeat to my own littel la la land, but lately the world but wants to barge it's flabby arse in there too.
I'm not really as glum as I've sounded the last few days, just feeling though I always have to work at maintaining my equilibrium, instead of just being able to hang there undisturbed.
That;'s it I think, not that I have lost balance, just that I keep getting knoked off balance, adn have to come back again.
Three things that motivate a man.........
Food
Sex (of course)
Peace and quiet
Yeah, I think it's systemic of the world we are living in luce, sad to say.
Seems that all the anger that is going around, just keeps getting passed on, from one another and building up too I think. For everyone.
And not being able to constantly protect oneself from the onslaught can be very upsetting. Losing one's equilibrium, or even having to fight to maintain it can be such an exhausting game.
I think you're right to focus on the important stuff where you can, like food and sex (of course
*~You're IT Bert!~*
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take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
cate, I think you'll find that it's the system, your system as a whole entity.
I mean, can you remember the thing that caused you to first get angry? the very first time? Which would then lead to you producing the chemicals in the first place? Coz I know I sure as hell can't. And I doubt a scientist could pin point the exact moment either. I have to wonder that it's all one way or another anyway. Most likely a few contributing factors, like hormones and chemicals in the body, AND how the brain functions, AND outside influences all combine to produce anger as a response in the body as well as observing others be angry, as well as stress, depression, learned behaviours. I mean let's face it, sometimes people do things that any reasonable person, even the most mild mannered person, would get angry with. It's what you do with the anger.
I really think this whole thing is like the chicken and the egg.
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its me. its no outside influence. that much i do know.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
Ok, so I don't think there's anything wrong with you myself. You've always been highly refreshing and in tune with your emotions to me.
In that you recognize when you're feeling angry, you warn people that you are, you state what you think the likely consequences will be if someone keeps poking at you with the stick and then you release your anger if they persist. Well that's what I've observed anyway. And it seems perfectly reasonable behaviour. But if you are feeling that you want to understand that side of yourself better then why not experiment a little? Do your own little scientific study on yourself? Keep a feelings journal purely for monitoring your emotions particularly anger? And mark down how you feel on a day 1 to 10. And maybe add any other pertinent stuff like menstrual cycle, sleep cycle, things that may be stressing you, things that you may have reacted to? I don't know if it's the kinda thing that would appeal to you but I had to do something similar a few years ago and I was surprised at what I learned.
Sorry
*~You're IT Bert!~*
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yes well the fact that i am able to warn people of my anger isn't really something i am proud of. it's the times i fly off the deep end that freak people out teh most and i can't warn them of those. i truly scare myself at times. and the methods i use to cope are just that. some are destructive and some are creative. some ive replaced by other methods. and what stresses me is the anger. i tell myself its normal(whatever that means). that there is nothing wrong with me. i can fake the happy thing well. i do it all the time.
at the moment i feel contented. but only in relation to a specific part of my life. all the rest is the same as its always been. i can separate the two feelings. which quite frankly i think is progress for me.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
I don't want to analyse you, cos that's impolite, but if I might repeat an earlier statement that seemd to slide past, but was actually intended as an important clue for anybody..........
Anger is the predominant symptom of depression in men and teenageers, less so in women, but ceratinly happens there too.
Talking about chemical imbalances is not helpful for people to under stand their mental state and what produced it.
Interferon treatment is a specific exception, causing a predictable drug-induced depression. MJ/alcohol/benzos are also chemical depressants, esp in women.
Bipolar afffective disorder seems to run in families and csues mood disorder in poeople without needs an external trigger.
Apart from that, all depression and "mood disorder" is caused by stuff that happens in our life, and is most commonly related to unresolved grief issues.
I can't stress enough how much emotional trauma unresolved grief causes.
it didn't slide by lucy.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
lol @ God.
Ok, what about animals? I'm sure you are familiar with the craze over Priaire vs Montane Voles and the correlation of Oxytocin/Vasopressin receptors and Promescuity. Do you believe that these receptors, their sensitivity and the production of the neuropeptides are all caused by the Vole's decision to be promescuous? And why is it that almost all prairie voles are monogomous while the montane voles are promiscuous?
I would imagine the chain of causality as such; environmental factors cause the placement, receptivity and so on of neuroreceptors, which then cause a phenomenalogical mental state such as depression. But you are saying that the phenomenalogical mental state of depression comes before the brain? Or something else?
i have discovered that i have looked at other perople for my own solice and that gave me free gratis to the blame game..
truth is is humans stop look and listend to theri hearts, no body really wants anger to be their driving force. would we all love to be in harmony with our selves..??
this is a great thread; and so much better to worry about what lies within our souls..this is where real change begins from within."..locally..."
someone very wise told me this and where most people might interpret locally as their surrounding municipality, local means within......
http://www.iiwp.org/
excellent insights!!!!
a derivitive of nature.
nature is god
god is love
love is light
i came here when i became permanently disabled. i was housebound and needed contact with the outside world. it's hard to go from seeing over 100 people a day to seeing no one for weeks. a good percentage of the board are here for the same reason. when i got better i stayed about for the friendships i developed. it seems that people are angrier now than a few years ago. not just here but in general. because of that i think the board should be more compassionate more than ever because we should be supportive of eachother. as you said; we share a common interest.
as far as too much information; this is an all ages board and some of the talk here is inappropriate. i know of 2 13 yr old girls that frequent the board and i can't believe how some people will talk in front of children. especially now during summer break.
the few offenders won't get a rise out of me. the people that know me know the truth and most of the others know they are twisting the facts so it only makes them look bad.
what ruins the enjoyment is seeing that there are people like that. their anger is like a cancer that spreads throughout the board.
now don't get me wrong; we have a lot of great people here. i met a lot of my best friends on the board. we're discussing anger and i'm giving my opinions about anger; not about the board in general.
i do agree that sometimes atmosphere at p/j is a bit aggressive, but what i love about pj is that kat and sea will let threads evolve as far as they can within their capacity.
yes..we can all learn to take a breath, but sometimes the forceful ness of anothers ire can cause good food for thought.
a derivitive of nature.
nature is god
god is love
love is light
i agree with you on one point. reasoned debate is great. i lock horns with a lot of people because i'll take a point to extreemes just to get the debate moving. that is agressive debate and it's not only educational; it's fun. we're talking about personal attacks and anger directed at one person.
you argue with your friends. let's face it; you really can't argue with strangers (in real life). when you argue with your friends you keep it civil.
so in short; we're saying that it is possible to have heated debates while being civil and respectful to eachother.
and, i will say that this reasoned debate always gives me a chance to look at both sides of a topic.
but the greatest gift i have extracted from participation is that some of the techniques i have learned or even the eating of humble pie has created a better melody...in fact, when i first came here, i was pretty conservative in my thinking; i was one of those emotional reactors, and as i have allowed myself to get to know some of the "hard batters", i have realized that i couldn't understand even myself....when i had a bunch of anger interference surrounding me.. so, i say that this debating topic is not for me...and for that i apologize for my actions in the past...
the truth about anger, is it is our inner reflection where we are not paying attention to our rhythms and is reactionary...
when we are using energy resources for anger, we are missing out on the best and most easiest part of life and that is joy and love and even marvelling at yourself...
i not want to argue with anyone anymore....but we have choices to make for ourselves...and we have our mirrors to look in and this mirror is the path to your happiness, your prosperity, and your entire postitioning in the universe.
we are interconnected cosmic beings and each of us has an opportunity...
a derivitive of nature.
nature is god
god is love
love is light
that's where i made my mistake. i opened up. if you saved all my posts you'd have a book about my entire life. the problem is; i had a very eventful life. i've had some of the worst things that can happen to a person happen to me. on the other hand; i've had some incredable things happen to me. i found that if i bring something good out of the bad things; i've got a good life. happiness isn't getting what you want; it's wanting what you have. i want what i have. i haven't been in a fight since 6th grade and i'm 51. if i get angry it only hurts me. from the rise in blood pressure to the stress on the body. so i fully understand what you're saying. but opening up isn't the answer here. for example; i had my identity stolen by a criminal. someone started the rumor that i stole someones identity. now what is that? i think jealousy because i can't think of any other reason. this is why my position is that jealousy breeds anger too.
most people don't really care enough to take out the time to violate others, most people are busy trying to understand themselves or follow their own legend..
how do i know this? well, i once danced around a dangerous pole...and i thought in my head that i was so ego centric, to think that someone else found me so impporatnat that they would want to erradicate my existence..i was so scared of this person, i moved to another town and then guess what! those people never even called me or really wanted to hurt me, they just found another naive soul to seduce..and it's been 25 years now...!!!!
i will always subscribe to being candid and open, but i think that the main point is to be able to articulate and to express one's grievences without assaulting another person's feelings...humans are like orchids, we can be very beautiful but the soul can be bruised so easiy..we are like an evolving resource to ourselves, we just have to want to make the changes in our hearts and once we do, each day is evoluitionary and fruitful..but we also have to understand that processes happen over time...
i remember a long while back, that a person here would just attack and attack and atttack and what good did it do for the energy..while on the other hand, yes there are a lot of insecure people, but if we can, we should always try to love and to serve others..
i guess i just come from the angle that i have nothing to take that i won't give willingly and freely...i too have had some mental issues surrounding the boards i participate at, but i found out, that even when another is trying to seduce me or manipulate me d questionablity that all this energy ; ie anxiety doubt, etc,...still and always will be my own reflection..that comes from within...
jealousy...i think that it's really more about seeking self approval...and i am the most guiltiest person who has exerted a lot of negative energy, even in the name of fun and even in and under certain themes of the board..again, i continue to learn..
i can tell you are one of the hard hitters i speak of becasue you speak of your positon as opposed to perspective....i guess both can be changed...thanks have a great day...be loving to who ever you encounter and it might make this universe a more postive place..
* i guess the reason i think making positive impact is so important is becasue nature and other variables will always throw us a curve ball...we need to have as much cushioning around us to exist and to maintain a healthy heart..
our minds and perspectives and love are the keys to make ourselves a bit more stable in a universe of correlation....
a derivitive of nature.
nature is god
god is love
love is light
you are really a nice person. thank you for the education and perspective too. see; this is how it should be. you have a great day too.
ols
i never liked it when people would equate anger with hurt all the time. anger is not always a derivative of hurt. times when i've said "that makes me mad" or "i'm angry" - i've had people say "no, you're hurt". arg! that'd make me....angry.
i think they are 2 separate and distinct sets of feelings most of the time. anger might be a result of being attempted to be "hurt" too many times, but by the time it's anger - that's what it is then! anger! it ain't hurt no more.
ols: it's always nice to talk to you, very nice indeed...!!!!
a derivitive of nature.
nature is god
god is love
love is light