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Do animals go to heaven?

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  • CosmoCosmo Posts: 12,225
    RolandTD20Kdrummer wrote:
    According to this research, the Bible is silent regarding an afterlife for animals.

    http://www.clarifyingchristianity.com/pets.shtml

    No animals in heaven? I think I would be miserable without the presence of animals.
    ...
    Maybe in pet Heaven... they're the ones that feed us.
    ...
    And if there are no animals in Heaven... where does the Prime Rib come from? How can it be Heaven if there ain't a nice Prime Rib dinner up there?
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!
  • AhnimusAhnimus Posts: 10,560
    Christian 1: "I'm going to die, the doctor gave me 3 weeks to live."

    Christian 2: "Good news! Say hi to grandpa for me! :)"

    Why is it that when I go to a funeral, the Christian folks ball their eyes out weeping "Why? Why does it have to be this way?" and the one atheist (me) smiles in delight that so many arrived to honour the life of a loved one, and I take joy in knowing that they led a good and fruitful life.

    I think Christians would want to expedite their trip to paradise, not fear it.
    I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
  • CJMST3KCJMST3K Posts: 9,722
    Cosmo wrote:
    How can it be Heaven if there ain't a nice Prime Rib dinner up there?

    Your heaven would be my hell.

    I'm a strict vegetarian.


    Wait a minute. If you're in heaven - where are you gonna get the prime rib from? Gonna slaughter a heaven-animal? Where does IT go?
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  • CosmoCosmo Posts: 12,225
    CJMST3K wrote:
    ...I think we've forgotten something.

    Do Sasquach go to heaven? Big feet = Big hearts
    ...
    And here's something else... what about people born with so-called 'defects', such as no arms or something. Are they in Heaven with arms and stuff.. or the same so the people that gave them Hell down here can give them Hell up there?
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!
  • CosmoCosmo Posts: 12,225
    CJMST3K wrote:
    Your heaven would be my hell.

    I'm a strict vegetarian.


    Wait a minute. If you're in heaven - where are you gonna get the prime rib from? Gonna slaughter a heaven-animal? Where does IT go?
    ...
    That's what i'm wondering. I mean, do you have to make a trip to Hell to get a descent steak dinner or what?
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!
  • RolandTD20KdrummerRolandTD20Kdrummer Posts: 13,066
    Ok I think I found the "answer". Basically, heaven is what you want it to be. If you want your pets there..they will be there.

    http://www.emmitsburg.net/tumc/pastor_wade/2005/pets.htm
    Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
    and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
    over specific principles, goals, and policies.

    http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg

    (\__/)
    ( o.O)
    (")_(")
  • CJMST3KCJMST3K Posts: 9,722
    Cosmo wrote:
    ...
    And here's something else... what about people born with so-called 'defects', such as no arms or something. Are they in Heaven with arms and stuff.. or the same so the people that gave them Hell down here can give them Hell up there?

    Yup - that's a similar question...
    CJMST3K wrote:
    If you're born with a severe mental handicap and die at the age of 3, do you go to heaven? If yes, are you still handicapped? And are you still 3? And do you still age? If you do age, can you die?

    I mean - OBVIOUSLY god made you that way. So I assume you would stay that way, since god made you that way.
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  • CJMST3KCJMST3K Posts: 9,722
    RolandTD20Kdrummer wrote:
    Ok I think I found the "answer". Basically, heaven is what you want it to be. If you want your pets there..they will be there.

    http://www.emmitsburg.net/tumc/pastor_wade/2005/pets.htm


    What if I want the devil to be there with me, and for him to duke it out with god to the "death"? ...and pets too?

    So I get my wish?



    ...also, what if I want to be with a deceased wife, but an old girlfriend wants to be with me? Who's version of heaven prevails?
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  • chadwickchadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    CJMST3K wrote:
    What about sharks? Humans cut off their dorcal fin just to throw the shark into the water to bleed to death, or be killed, or just die on its own.

    We throw them away. And if humans were made in "god's image"...

    Because some human-beings are the stupidest life forms on the planet.
    As well as the evilest, most wasteful, disrespectful, creatures ever.
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • AhnimusAhnimus Posts: 10,560
    First you have to go to pergatory, because God isn't sure yet what to do with you. But hey, you can by time credits from the Catholic church.
    I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
  • AhnimusAhnimus Posts: 10,560
    Send me $50 and I'll make sure fluffy goes to heaven. ;)
    I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
  • AbookamongstthemanyAbookamongstthemany Posts: 8,209
    What about sex in heaven? Do you just have it there on the fluffy clouds?
    If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

    Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
    -Oscar Wilde
  • CosmoCosmo Posts: 12,225
    CJMST3K wrote:
    Yup - that's a similar question...



    I mean - OBVIOUSLY god made you that way. So I assume you would stay that way, since god made you that way.
    ...
    Same thing as the GorillaMan thing... what if your leg got blown off in a War. In Heaven, is your leg back were it was or is it waiting for you in Heaven?
    Do blind people who are really ugly get their sight and realize how ugly they are?
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!
  • CJMST3KCJMST3K Posts: 9,722
    Abookamongstthemany wrote:
    What about sex in heaven? Do you just have it there on the fluffy clouds?

    They give you fresh bagels that are warm and some KY.

    They're actually very accomodating, AND leave a mint on your pillow.

    I highly recommend heaven.
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  • chadwickchadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    im out of this thread.
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • CosmoCosmo Posts: 12,225
    Abookamongstthemany wrote:
    What about sex in heaven? Do you just have it there on the fluffy clouds?
    ...
    I guess it depends on the sex... like that time I did those Jager shots and woke up in that apartment with that really ugly gal and felt like Hell.
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!
  • CJMST3KCJMST3K Posts: 9,722
    Cosmo wrote:
    ...
    Same thing as the GorillaMan thing... what if your leg got blown off in a War. In Heaven, is your leg back were it was or is it waiting for you in Heaven?
    Do blind people who are really ugly get their sight and realize how ugly they are?


    ALSO - how strong is the gravity in heaven? Jupiter has a much stronger gravitational pull than Earth.

    And how long of a time are you there for? Which ties in to the gravity question, since it's been proven that the closer to a gravitational field, the slower time moves. So time literally is faster at the top of a mountain than at the bottom of the mountain. Or in the center of a black hole, time pretty much stops.

    Are there different physics for heaven?
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  • AbookamongstthemanyAbookamongstthemany Posts: 8,209
    Cosmo wrote:
    ...
    I guess it depends on the sex... like that time I did those Jager shots and woke up in that apartment with that really ugly gal and felt like Hell.

    You know you've gotta scope the room before getting too wasted and make sure it's safe. tsk tsk, cosmo ;)
    If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

    Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
    -Oscar Wilde
  • surferdudesurferdude Posts: 2,057
    Ahnimus wrote:
    But I do it in a critically analytical way.
    After all this time you still accepted science's short fall. Science only accepts a reality that humans have devised a way to measure. If we haven't figured out a way to measure it, science basically says it doesn't exist. You seem fine and happy to operate in this paradigm but there's so much more. You don't accept I fell but because you can't deal with the real reality, so yo uare happy to make shit up that it just doesn't exist.
    “One good thing about music,
    when it hits you, you feel to pain.
    So brutalize me with music.”
    ~ Bob Marley
  • CosmoCosmo Posts: 12,225
    Abookamongstthemany wrote:
    You know you've gotta scope the room before getting too wasted and make sure it's safe. tsk tsk, cosmo ;)
    ...
    That's the bad part... i remember laughing and doing shots in the bar... and sort of rolling around in the back seat of a car... and stairs... and... that's about it.
    Next thing I know, it's 1 P.M. the next day and I'm naked in a strange room with my face feeling like a glazed doughnut and someone's panties around my neck and i feel like I just drank a bottle of bleach. And yeah... she was really ugly.
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!
  • AhnimusAhnimus Posts: 10,560
    surferdude wrote:
    After all this time you still accepted science's short fall. Science only accepts a reality that humans have devised a way to measure. If we haven't figured out a way to measure it, science basically says it doesn't exist. You seem fine and happy to operate in this paradigm but there's so much more. You don't accept I fell but because you can't deal with the real reality, so yo uare happy to make shit up that it just doesn't exist.

    I'm not making shit up dude.

    I'm saying things exist that are observable. To suggest that heaven exists is a non sequitur. It's making shit up. You are making shit up by suggesting that there are things beyond what we already know. I am accepting the probability of unknown facts, but you are positing a truth claim that there is in-fact something else to be known, and that is making shit up.
    I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
  • RolandTD20KdrummerRolandTD20Kdrummer Posts: 13,066
    Abookamongstthemany wrote:
    What about sex in heaven? Do you just have it there on the fluffy clouds?

    According to Barbara Walters no...you have mind sex with god.

    http://www.beliefnet.com/story/181/story_18118_1.html

    Personally I think yes...definitely yes. Lot's of hot steamy cloud action.

    but the pets get their own cloud... I can't do it with the cat watching...
    Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
    and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
    over specific principles, goals, and policies.

    http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg

    (\__/)
    ( o.O)
    (")_(")
  • AbookamongstthemanyAbookamongstthemany Posts: 8,209
    Cosmo wrote:
    ...
    That's the bad part... i remember laughing and doing shots in the bar... and sort of rolling around in the back seat of a car... and stairs... and... that's about it.
    Next thing I know, it's 1 P.M. the next day and I'm naked in a strange room with my face feeling like a glazed doughnut and someone's panties around my neck and i feel like I just drank a bottle of bleach. And yeah... she was really ugly.

    LOL! Ewww. That's why you've got to have someone there looking out for you! :D

    How quick were you outta there? Did you jump out the bathroom window? :p
    If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

    Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
    -Oscar Wilde
  • AbookamongstthemanyAbookamongstthemany Posts: 8,209
    RolandTD20Kdrummer wrote:
    According to Barbara Walters no...you have mind sex with god.

    http://www.beliefnet.com/story/181/story_18118_1.html

    Personally I think yes...definitely yes. Lot's of hot steamy cloud action.

    but the pets get their own cloud... I can't do it with the cat watching...

    :D I think that's what I'm going with too.
    If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

    Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
    -Oscar Wilde
  • Eliot RosewaterEliot Rosewater Posts: 2,659
    dunkman wrote:
    if they do then wasps will be in Hell.. wasps are evil fuckers of an animal!!

    and pigeons... i want them all to die
    My dad raised some pigeons when I was young. Each of my siblings and I had our own. I remember mine being on the side of the road one day after school as a teenager swerved to run over it. I've never been the same since.....
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    how is it heaven if there's a chance you could tread in doggy doodoo? :D
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • CosmoCosmo Posts: 12,225
    Abookamongstthemany wrote:
    LOL! Ewww. That's why you've got to have someone there looking out for you! :D

    How quick were you outta there? Did you jump out the bathroom window? :p
    ...
    No... you know me... I'm Mr. Nice Guy... I never claimed I wasn't stupid. I made up some bullshit story about work or something... but, i honestly DID feel like crap... and had her give me a ride back to the bar to get my car.
    ...
    Then, i drove home and slept for about a week.
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!
  • CosmoCosmo Posts: 12,225
    catefrances wrote:
    how is it heaven if there's a chance you could tread in doggy doodoo? :D
    ...
    In Heaven.. dog shit smells like roses and evaporates from the bottom of your shoes. i read that in the Bible or something.
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!
  • CJMST3KCJMST3K Posts: 9,722
    don't gimme no wrote:
    My dad raised some pigeons when I was young. Each of my siblings and I had our own. I remember mine being on the side of the road one day after school as a teenager swerved to run over it. I've never been the same since.....


    That's messed up. I'm so sorry.

    I hope that driver gets cancer, and has someone very close to him die in a very tradgic way.

    I hate people who prey on the weak.
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  • CosmoCosmo Posts: 12,225
    don't gimme no wrote:
    My dad raised some pigeons when I was young. Each of my siblings and I had our own. I remember mine being on the side of the road one day after school as a teenager swerved to run over it. I've never been the same since.....
    ...
    In pigeon Heaven... that teenager is perpetually sitting below that pigeon.
    ...
    Just like in Prairie Dog Heaven... they shoot the people who shoot Prairie Dogs as sport, as they come out of the front doors of their houses.
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!
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