Do animals go to heaven?

13

Comments

  • Ahnimus
    Ahnimus Posts: 10,560
    Send me $50 and I'll make sure fluffy goes to heaven. ;)
    I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
  • Abookamongstthemany
    Abookamongstthemany Posts: 8,209
    What about sex in heaven? Do you just have it there on the fluffy clouds?
    If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

    Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
    -Oscar Wilde
  • Cosmo
    Cosmo Posts: 12,225
    CJMST3K wrote:
    Yup - that's a similar question...



    I mean - OBVIOUSLY god made you that way. So I assume you would stay that way, since god made you that way.
    ...
    Same thing as the GorillaMan thing... what if your leg got blown off in a War. In Heaven, is your leg back were it was or is it waiting for you in Heaven?
    Do blind people who are really ugly get their sight and realize how ugly they are?
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!
  • CJMST3K
    CJMST3K Posts: 9,722
    Abookamongstthemany wrote:
    What about sex in heaven? Do you just have it there on the fluffy clouds?

    They give you fresh bagels that are warm and some KY.

    They're actually very accomodating, AND leave a mint on your pillow.

    I highly recommend heaven.
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  • chadwick
    chadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    im out of this thread.
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • Cosmo
    Cosmo Posts: 12,225
    Abookamongstthemany wrote:
    What about sex in heaven? Do you just have it there on the fluffy clouds?
    ...
    I guess it depends on the sex... like that time I did those Jager shots and woke up in that apartment with that really ugly gal and felt like Hell.
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!
  • CJMST3K
    CJMST3K Posts: 9,722
    Cosmo wrote:
    ...
    Same thing as the GorillaMan thing... what if your leg got blown off in a War. In Heaven, is your leg back were it was or is it waiting for you in Heaven?
    Do blind people who are really ugly get their sight and realize how ugly they are?


    ALSO - how strong is the gravity in heaven? Jupiter has a much stronger gravitational pull than Earth.

    And how long of a time are you there for? Which ties in to the gravity question, since it's been proven that the closer to a gravitational field, the slower time moves. So time literally is faster at the top of a mountain than at the bottom of the mountain. Or in the center of a black hole, time pretty much stops.

    Are there different physics for heaven?
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  • Abookamongstthemany
    Abookamongstthemany Posts: 8,209
    Cosmo wrote:
    ...
    I guess it depends on the sex... like that time I did those Jager shots and woke up in that apartment with that really ugly gal and felt like Hell.

    You know you've gotta scope the room before getting too wasted and make sure it's safe. tsk tsk, cosmo ;)
    If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

    Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
    -Oscar Wilde
  • surferdude
    surferdude Posts: 2,057
    Ahnimus wrote:
    But I do it in a critically analytical way.
    After all this time you still accepted science's short fall. Science only accepts a reality that humans have devised a way to measure. If we haven't figured out a way to measure it, science basically says it doesn't exist. You seem fine and happy to operate in this paradigm but there's so much more. You don't accept I fell but because you can't deal with the real reality, so yo uare happy to make shit up that it just doesn't exist.
    “One good thing about music,
    when it hits you, you feel to pain.
    So brutalize me with music.”
    ~ Bob Marley
  • Cosmo
    Cosmo Posts: 12,225
    Abookamongstthemany wrote:
    You know you've gotta scope the room before getting too wasted and make sure it's safe. tsk tsk, cosmo ;)
    ...
    That's the bad part... i remember laughing and doing shots in the bar... and sort of rolling around in the back seat of a car... and stairs... and... that's about it.
    Next thing I know, it's 1 P.M. the next day and I'm naked in a strange room with my face feeling like a glazed doughnut and someone's panties around my neck and i feel like I just drank a bottle of bleach. And yeah... she was really ugly.
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!
  • Ahnimus
    Ahnimus Posts: 10,560
    surferdude wrote:
    After all this time you still accepted science's short fall. Science only accepts a reality that humans have devised a way to measure. If we haven't figured out a way to measure it, science basically says it doesn't exist. You seem fine and happy to operate in this paradigm but there's so much more. You don't accept I fell but because you can't deal with the real reality, so yo uare happy to make shit up that it just doesn't exist.

    I'm not making shit up dude.

    I'm saying things exist that are observable. To suggest that heaven exists is a non sequitur. It's making shit up. You are making shit up by suggesting that there are things beyond what we already know. I am accepting the probability of unknown facts, but you are positing a truth claim that there is in-fact something else to be known, and that is making shit up.
    I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
  • RolandTD20Kdrummer
    RolandTD20Kdrummer Posts: 13,066
    Abookamongstthemany wrote:
    What about sex in heaven? Do you just have it there on the fluffy clouds?

    According to Barbara Walters no...you have mind sex with god.

    http://www.beliefnet.com/story/181/story_18118_1.html

    Personally I think yes...definitely yes. Lot's of hot steamy cloud action.

    but the pets get their own cloud... I can't do it with the cat watching...
    Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
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    over specific principles, goals, and policies.

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  • Abookamongstthemany
    Abookamongstthemany Posts: 8,209
    Cosmo wrote:
    ...
    That's the bad part... i remember laughing and doing shots in the bar... and sort of rolling around in the back seat of a car... and stairs... and... that's about it.
    Next thing I know, it's 1 P.M. the next day and I'm naked in a strange room with my face feeling like a glazed doughnut and someone's panties around my neck and i feel like I just drank a bottle of bleach. And yeah... she was really ugly.

    LOL! Ewww. That's why you've got to have someone there looking out for you! :D

    How quick were you outta there? Did you jump out the bathroom window? :p
    If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

    Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
    -Oscar Wilde
  • Abookamongstthemany
    Abookamongstthemany Posts: 8,209
    RolandTD20Kdrummer wrote:
    According to Barbara Walters no...you have mind sex with god.

    http://www.beliefnet.com/story/181/story_18118_1.html

    Personally I think yes...definitely yes. Lot's of hot steamy cloud action.

    but the pets get their own cloud... I can't do it with the cat watching...

    :D I think that's what I'm going with too.
    If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

    Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
    -Oscar Wilde
  • Eliot Rosewater
    Eliot Rosewater Posts: 2,659
    dunkman wrote:
    if they do then wasps will be in Hell.. wasps are evil fuckers of an animal!!

    and pigeons... i want them all to die
    My dad raised some pigeons when I was young. Each of my siblings and I had our own. I remember mine being on the side of the road one day after school as a teenager swerved to run over it. I've never been the same since.....
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    how is it heaven if there's a chance you could tread in doggy doodoo? :D
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • Cosmo
    Cosmo Posts: 12,225
    Abookamongstthemany wrote:
    LOL! Ewww. That's why you've got to have someone there looking out for you! :D

    How quick were you outta there? Did you jump out the bathroom window? :p
    ...
    No... you know me... I'm Mr. Nice Guy... I never claimed I wasn't stupid. I made up some bullshit story about work or something... but, i honestly DID feel like crap... and had her give me a ride back to the bar to get my car.
    ...
    Then, i drove home and slept for about a week.
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!
  • Cosmo
    Cosmo Posts: 12,225
    catefrances wrote:
    how is it heaven if there's a chance you could tread in doggy doodoo? :D
    ...
    In Heaven.. dog shit smells like roses and evaporates from the bottom of your shoes. i read that in the Bible or something.
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!
  • CJMST3K
    CJMST3K Posts: 9,722
    don't gimme no wrote:
    My dad raised some pigeons when I was young. Each of my siblings and I had our own. I remember mine being on the side of the road one day after school as a teenager swerved to run over it. I've never been the same since.....


    That's messed up. I'm so sorry.

    I hope that driver gets cancer, and has someone very close to him die in a very tradgic way.

    I hate people who prey on the weak.
    ADD 5,200 to the post count you see, thank you. :)
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  • Cosmo
    Cosmo Posts: 12,225
    don't gimme no wrote:
    My dad raised some pigeons when I was young. Each of my siblings and I had our own. I remember mine being on the side of the road one day after school as a teenager swerved to run over it. I've never been the same since.....
    ...
    In pigeon Heaven... that teenager is perpetually sitting below that pigeon.
    ...
    Just like in Prairie Dog Heaven... they shoot the people who shoot Prairie Dogs as sport, as they come out of the front doors of their houses.
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!

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