ah, for a second there i thought you were an expert on healthy ways for sexual harassment victims to respond to their abuse. whew! now i know i was right and you're just talking out your self-righteous ass.
lol Talk about egos. This is the post that set everything off. It had nothing to do with what sponger said, but rather soulsinging's perception of what he thought sponger was saying. Which is usually being perceived upon from high atop his self-righteous bird's nest.
Vedder brought his own personal, private issue here for all of us to read about. If he doesn't want people to comment on them, in any way they wish, he shouldn't bring it here. Sponger doesn't need to be a psychological expert in order to comment on the topic, although he does need to join the army if he wishes to continue supporting the war.
"Sarcasm: intellect on the offensive"
"What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact."
Angelica: bullshit. I really am disappointed by your post. You know what you're saying is bullshit. You know that counselors who are informed of child sexual abuse do what they can to bring that abuse to a halt, even if it means contacting the authorities. My goodness.
Just look at Vedderlution's post. He is obviously still really fucked up. He needs help. Maybe I lack the skills and patience to "politely" urge him to do so, but I don't see how any of you are helping him either.
I can't say what my response would be because my children have never been molested and I have never been molested. For me to state how I would react would be utter bullshit because nobody knows how they will face a tragedy like this when they encounter it.
I would at least think it would piss you off to no avail. Such an incident would basically mean that your child could end up fucked up for the rest of his life. That's just something I have a hard time taking nonchalantly.
an atheist has no business telling a christian the proper way to conduct a mass. a lawyer has no business telling a surgeon how to perform an operation. a hippy has no business teaching an NRA member how to fire a gun. and a jackass who has no experience dealing with sexual abuse has no business telling telling a victim how they should respond to it.
A jackass who has no experience dealing with sexual abuse has no business telling a victim to report a felony offense to the authorities?
You're right. You should be a lawyer.
"Sarcasm: intellect on the offensive"
"What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact."
Yes I'm damn sure that a professional therapist would not insult their patient just because they decided not to report the crime. In fact I'm 100% sure that any half way decent therapist would never do such a thing. So again you are just talking shit.
Sponger's arrogance is unreal.
I was raped. Last thing I wanted when it happened was some self-righteous prick telling me what to do. No, wait... telling me that if I failed to report my assaulter, I would be "enabling" more rapes. I did not seek counseling, but if I did and met with that kind of response I would have felt even more alone and helpless. Thank god you decided not to pursue therapy.
... and the will to show I will always be better than before.
lol Talk about egos. This is the post that set everything off. It had nothing to do with what sponger said, but rather soulsinging's perception of what he thought sponger was saying. Which is usually being perceived upon from high atop his self-righteous bird's nest.
Vedder brought his own personal, private issue here for all of us to read about. If he doesn't want people to comment on them, in any way they wish, he shouldn't bring it here. Sponger doesn't need to be a psychological expert in order to comment on the topic, although he does need to join the army if he wishes to continue supporting the war.
he mentioned that issue only after sponger pressed for details becos "that sounds like a fucked up story and i wanna hear more!"
and one semester's worth of volunteering doesn't make you one either.
And as I said before, it doesn't take a psychiatrist to take the first steps here. The first steps are all that I've been talking about.
A better analogy is an eagle-scout trying to construct a splint for a broken bone. Then someone comes along and says, "Hey, where's your medical degree?"
I would at least think it would piss you off to no avail. Such an incident would basically mean that your child could end up fucked up for the rest of his life. That's just something I have a hard time taking nonchalantly.
Hell yes I would be pissed off. I can tell you that i would definetly want to kill the motherfucker, but as far as how I would feel about his past victims, if they didn't report the crime, I don't know. I might be pissed at them I might not. Until I'm in the situation, which hopefully I never will, I can't say with any degree of certainty, besides how I would feel towards the perpitrator, how I would react.
"When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." - Ron Paul
I would at least think it would piss you off to no avail. Such an incident would basically mean that your child could end up fucked up for the rest of his life. That's just something I have a hard time taking nonchalantly.
then you can understand why we would be pissed at someone who is trying very hard to make them even more fucked up?
Sponger's arrogance is unreal.
I was raped. Last thing I wanted when it happened was some self-righteous prick telling me what to do. No, wait... telling me that if I failed to report my assaulter, I would be "enabling" more rapes. I did not seek counseling, but if I did and met with that kind of response I would have felt even more alone and helpless. Thank god you decided not to pursue therapy.
This is generally the course of action. If a rapist is allowed to continue raping, he/she will continue to rape. If that makes you feel alone and helpless, give the offender time. Maybe he/she will get around to a few family members and friends.
"Sarcasm: intellect on the offensive"
"What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact."
This is why I'm thankful that none of you here are my neighbors.
Comforting the victim and being supportive is one thing. Offering help beyond that is not something I am trained for. Victims need professional help and being that I'm not a professional therapits the help I may offer may not be what they necessarily need.
I'm also extremely happy I'm not your neighbor.
"When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." - Ron Paul
Angelica: bullshit. I really am disappointed by your post. You know what you're saying is bullshit.
If you want to jump to conclusions and judgments, you will disappoint yourself.
You know that counselors who are informed of child sexual abuse do what they can to bring that abuse to a halt, even if it means contacting the authorities.
When it is happening to a child at the time IT IS HAPPENING. For many people help is not sought out until many many years after. For example, many people like myself will blank out the abuse until years later. I blanked out the oral sodomy I endured at age five until my own daughter was 5 years old. Others will not seek help until they are ready and I support them completely, based on sound psychological principles--ones that I happen to also know and understand from experience.
Just look at Vedderlution's post. He is obviously still really fucked up. He needs help. Maybe I lack the skills and patience to "politely" urge him to do so, but I don't see how any of you are helping him either.
sponger, it's clear to me that you lack the basic understanding of how to effectively support and encourage someone in this situation. It makes me wonder why you are against such victimization in the first place. Do you not care about these children? I ask you to think about the assaulted child that is alive and well listening to your every word through the eyes and ears of Vedderlution, and is it just my way.
"The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth." ~ Niels Bohr
This is generally the course of action. If a rapist is allowed to continue raping, he/she will continue to rape. If that makes you feel alone and helpless, give the offender time. Maybe he/she will get around to a few family members and friends.
Yes reporting the crime should be encouraged but should you insult the victim because, for personal reasons, they decide not to.
"When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." - Ron Paul
There is nothing that any of us can say that will make Vedderlution more fucked up than he already is.
What you guys are worried about is bringing up old school trauma. Well, if he's never dealt with that trauma, then we're actually doing him a favor if that's what's happening. If he doesn't get it out and deal with it, it will forever pervade his well being, just as we've witnessed in this thread.
Angelica has dealt with her shit. That's why she can talk about it without going into a meltdown. It's healthy, and I'm sure she'll agree that getting to that point was no picnic.
This is generally the course of action. If a rapist is allowed to continue raping, he/she will continue to rape. If that makes you feel alone and helpless, give the offender time. Maybe he/she will get around to a few family members and friends.
Well, I'll gladly give up aplomb and posting rights and go for:
fuck you
... and the will to show I will always be better than before.
And as I said before, it doesn't take a psychiatrist to take the first steps here. The first steps are all that I've been talking about.
A better analogy is an eagle-scout trying to construct a splint for a broken bone. Then someone comes along and says, "Hey, where's your medical degree?"
you're not even an eagle scout though. you're more like someone who watched a lot of er and is trying to set a broken bone. and given the fact that almost everyone here thinks you're an ass, id say that apparently it DOES take a shrink to take the first step. the first step is making sure the victim is ok and healed before putting them through that ordeal. what is the first thing you hear in a 911 call? are you safe and ok? they want to be sure they are dealing with someone who is prepared for the ordeal that may follow. since you so casually describe vedder as somebody who seems "fucked up," how do you think the police or a jury or a defense attorney would react? did you hear how his own MOTHER reacted? the first step is healing the victim. then you start to talk about what the victim can do to remedy things. you acknowledged that angelica had to deal with her problems first, yet you're advocating a police report and jury trial by someone who will melt down on the stand and ruin the case.
There is nothing that any of us can say that will make Vedderlution more fucked up than he already is.
What you guys are worried about is bringing up old school trauma. Well, if he's never dealt with that trauma, then we're actually doing him a favor if that's what's happening. If he doesn't get it out and deal with it, it will forever pervade his well being, just as we've witnessed in this thread.
Angelica has dealt with her shit. That's why she can talk about it without going into a meltdown. It's healthy, and I'm sure she'll agree that getting to that point was no picnic.
Agree, but insulting or attack him is not the way to do it and it doesn't take a professional to know that.
"When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." - Ron Paul
yeah, becos we would have encouraged them to seek counseling so they could get HEALED.
This means nothing. All the guy said was that he should've called the damn cops so as to avoid this from happening to other people. That is in no way insulting, degrading or a mismanagement of psychology skills. I have no clue where the counseling garbage was tossed into the argument.
"Sarcasm: intellect on the offensive"
"What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact."
The eagle scout handbook is no thicker than your average novel. In comparison, I've read numerous of those novels and have been tested on them. So, I'd say that puts in the range of an eagle scout.
We've all had our rough childhoods. Sometimes people just need to suck it up and do the right thing instead of sniveling about it on a message board and then acting as though they are still being victimized to this day.
First of all, I'm calling bullshit on Is it Just My Way.
She said she has been silent for 23 years, yet she is 30 years old.
This means she went to the police at age 7? She went to the police, screamed molestation, and was told to go fuck herself?
I don't buy it. Unless Australia is significantly different from the US, no law enforcement person in their right mind would blow off a 7 year old going straight to the police to accuse a person of molestation.
And how many 7 year olds actually find the strength to the call the police?
That's why she contradicted herself. She really never has gone to the police, but then later changed her story to justify in her mind just how much of a victim she still is. It's a "No, sponger, it really is hopeless. You have to believe me," kind of mentality that is the mantra of victims who refuse to appropriately deal with their suffering.
So, again, Is It Just My Way, you are full of shit.
I am no counselor, but I did quite a bit of extracurricular activities for my psych minor in college, which included sitting in on group therapy sessions with the permission of all who were in attendance.
The stories that I heard are just simply atrocious. They're unimaginable. It would be just vulgar to detail them on this message board.
And so I know for a fact that you cannot disclose molestation to a counselor without said counselor at least recommending contacting authorities. If the victim is a minor, then the counselor is obligated to contact the authorities.
And that is how I can guess with a very high rate of probability have neither vedderlution nor Is it Just My Way have seen a therapist about said abuse.
And if neither of them have done such, then all of you need to STFU because you're really just enabling their victim mentality.
It's childhood trauma 101. One does not need to be a fucking psychiatrist to know this shit.
If this is not insulting the victims on this board then I don't know what your idea of insulting someone is.
"When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." - Ron Paul
Telling a victim of rape/abuse that they are enabling rape and abuse, and responsible for other victims is far more than insulting.
I'd say it's curt, not insulting. Besides, that was only after several failed attempts to be cordial. If cordiality doesn't work, then I'll cut to the chase especially when I'm being bullshitted, which Just Her Way was in fact doing.
Again, you're assuming these people can get more fucked up than they already are. That is doubtful.
Comments
lol Talk about egos. This is the post that set everything off. It had nothing to do with what sponger said, but rather soulsinging's perception of what he thought sponger was saying. Which is usually being perceived upon from high atop his self-righteous bird's nest.
Vedder brought his own personal, private issue here for all of us to read about. If he doesn't want people to comment on them, in any way they wish, he shouldn't bring it here. Sponger doesn't need to be a psychological expert in order to comment on the topic, although he does need to join the army if he wishes to continue supporting the war.
"What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact."
Camden 5-28-06
Washington, D.C. 6-22-08
Just look at Vedderlution's post. He is obviously still really fucked up. He needs help. Maybe I lack the skills and patience to "politely" urge him to do so, but I don't see how any of you are helping him either.
http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
and one semester's worth of volunteering doesn't make you one either.
I would at least think it would piss you off to no avail. Such an incident would basically mean that your child could end up fucked up for the rest of his life. That's just something I have a hard time taking nonchalantly.
http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
But none of us is trying to help him. I would never think that I can help a victim of sexual assault without having the proper training to do so.
A jackass who has no experience dealing with sexual abuse has no business telling a victim to report a felony offense to the authorities?
You're right. You should be a lawyer.
"What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact."
Camden 5-28-06
Washington, D.C. 6-22-08
Sponger's arrogance is unreal.
I was raped. Last thing I wanted when it happened was some self-righteous prick telling me what to do. No, wait... telling me that if I failed to report my assaulter, I would be "enabling" more rapes. I did not seek counseling, but if I did and met with that kind of response I would have felt even more alone and helpless. Thank god you decided not to pursue therapy.
LMAO! "But none of us is trying to help him."
This is why I'm thankful that none of you here are my neighbors.
"What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact."
Camden 5-28-06
Washington, D.C. 6-22-08
he mentioned that issue only after sponger pressed for details becos "that sounds like a fucked up story and i wanna hear more!"
And as I said before, it doesn't take a psychiatrist to take the first steps here. The first steps are all that I've been talking about.
A better analogy is an eagle-scout trying to construct a splint for a broken bone. Then someone comes along and says, "Hey, where's your medical degree?"
http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
Hell yes I would be pissed off. I can tell you that i would definetly want to kill the motherfucker, but as far as how I would feel about his past victims, if they didn't report the crime, I don't know. I might be pissed at them I might not. Until I'm in the situation, which hopefully I never will, I can't say with any degree of certainty, besides how I would feel towards the perpitrator, how I would react.
then you can understand why we would be pissed at someone who is trying very hard to make them even more fucked up?
This is generally the course of action. If a rapist is allowed to continue raping, he/she will continue to rape. If that makes you feel alone and helpless, give the offender time. Maybe he/she will get around to a few family members and friends.
"What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact."
Camden 5-28-06
Washington, D.C. 6-22-08
yeah, becos we would have encouraged them to seek counseling so they could get HEALED.
Comforting the victim and being supportive is one thing. Offering help beyond that is not something I am trained for. Victims need professional help and being that I'm not a professional therapits the help I may offer may not be what they necessarily need.
I'm also extremely happy I'm not your neighbor.
When it is happening to a child at the time IT IS HAPPENING. For many people help is not sought out until many many years after. For example, many people like myself will blank out the abuse until years later. I blanked out the oral sodomy I endured at age five until my own daughter was 5 years old. Others will not seek help until they are ready and I support them completely, based on sound psychological principles--ones that I happen to also know and understand from experience.
sponger, it's clear to me that you lack the basic understanding of how to effectively support and encourage someone in this situation. It makes me wonder why you are against such victimization in the first place. Do you not care about these children? I ask you to think about the assaulted child that is alive and well listening to your every word through the eyes and ears of Vedderlution, and is it just my way.
http://www.myspace.com/illuminatta
Rhinocerous Surprise '08!!!
Yes reporting the crime should be encouraged but should you insult the victim because, for personal reasons, they decide not to.
There is nothing that any of us can say that will make Vedderlution more fucked up than he already is.
What you guys are worried about is bringing up old school trauma. Well, if he's never dealt with that trauma, then we're actually doing him a favor if that's what's happening. If he doesn't get it out and deal with it, it will forever pervade his well being, just as we've witnessed in this thread.
Angelica has dealt with her shit. That's why she can talk about it without going into a meltdown. It's healthy, and I'm sure she'll agree that getting to that point was no picnic.
http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
Well, I'll gladly give up aplomb and posting rights and go for:
fuck you
you're not even an eagle scout though. you're more like someone who watched a lot of er and is trying to set a broken bone. and given the fact that almost everyone here thinks you're an ass, id say that apparently it DOES take a shrink to take the first step. the first step is making sure the victim is ok and healed before putting them through that ordeal. what is the first thing you hear in a 911 call? are you safe and ok? they want to be sure they are dealing with someone who is prepared for the ordeal that may follow. since you so casually describe vedder as somebody who seems "fucked up," how do you think the police or a jury or a defense attorney would react? did you hear how his own MOTHER reacted? the first step is healing the victim. then you start to talk about what the victim can do to remedy things. you acknowledged that angelica had to deal with her problems first, yet you're advocating a police report and jury trial by someone who will melt down on the stand and ruin the case.
Agree, but insulting or attack him is not the way to do it and it doesn't take a professional to know that.
This means nothing. All the guy said was that he should've called the damn cops so as to avoid this from happening to other people. That is in no way insulting, degrading or a mismanagement of psychology skills. I have no clue where the counseling garbage was tossed into the argument.
"What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact."
Camden 5-28-06
Washington, D.C. 6-22-08
Who was insulted and where?
"What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact."
Camden 5-28-06
Washington, D.C. 6-22-08
Telling a victim of rape/abuse that they are enabling rape and abuse, and responsible for other victims is far more than insulting.
The eagle scout handbook is no thicker than your average novel. In comparison, I've read numerous of those novels and have been tested on them. So, I'd say that puts in the range of an eagle scout.
http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
Here is one of Spongers posts.
We've all had our rough childhoods. Sometimes people just need to suck it up and do the right thing instead of sniveling about it on a message board and then acting as though they are still being victimized to this day.
First of all, I'm calling bullshit on Is it Just My Way.
She said she has been silent for 23 years, yet she is 30 years old.
This means she went to the police at age 7? She went to the police, screamed molestation, and was told to go fuck herself?
I don't buy it. Unless Australia is significantly different from the US, no law enforcement person in their right mind would blow off a 7 year old going straight to the police to accuse a person of molestation.
And how many 7 year olds actually find the strength to the call the police?
That's why she contradicted herself. She really never has gone to the police, but then later changed her story to justify in her mind just how much of a victim she still is. It's a "No, sponger, it really is hopeless. You have to believe me," kind of mentality that is the mantra of victims who refuse to appropriately deal with their suffering.
So, again, Is It Just My Way, you are full of shit.
I am no counselor, but I did quite a bit of extracurricular activities for my psych minor in college, which included sitting in on group therapy sessions with the permission of all who were in attendance.
The stories that I heard are just simply atrocious. They're unimaginable. It would be just vulgar to detail them on this message board.
And so I know for a fact that you cannot disclose molestation to a counselor without said counselor at least recommending contacting authorities. If the victim is a minor, then the counselor is obligated to contact the authorities.
And that is how I can guess with a very high rate of probability have neither vedderlution nor Is it Just My Way have seen a therapist about said abuse.
And if neither of them have done such, then all of you need to STFU because you're really just enabling their victim mentality.
It's childhood trauma 101. One does not need to be a fucking psychiatrist to know this shit.
If this is not insulting the victims on this board then I don't know what your idea of insulting someone is.
I'd say it's curt, not insulting. Besides, that was only after several failed attempts to be cordial. If cordiality doesn't work, then I'll cut to the chase especially when I'm being bullshitted, which Just Her Way was in fact doing.
Again, you're assuming these people can get more fucked up than they already are. That is doubtful.
http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825