Attacker's apology revives a victim's nightmare

sponger

mammasan wrote:

I'm not one to resort to personal attacks, but you are one big fucking prick. Unless you have walked a mile in these people's shoes you have no right criticizing the way they handled their abuse.

Yet, I probably still know a whole lot more about it than you do. Meanwhile, these child molesters are probably out there continuing their victimization on small children.

And if Vedder and the rest really understood the severity of what happened them instead just running away from it, they would not be able to tolerate the idea of that abuse happening to others.

Tell me, what, if any, knowledge do you have about this subject? I didn't think so.

mammasan

sponger wrote:

Yet, I probably still know a whole lot more about it than you do. Meanwhile, these child molesters are probably out there continuing their victimization on small children.

And if Vedder and the rest really understood the severity of what happened them instead just running away from it, they would not be able to tolerate the idea of that abuse happening to others.

Tell me, what, if any, knowledge do you have about this subject? I didn't think so.

Personally first hand none, but my niece was raped, one of my dearest friends was raped by her ex-boyfriend pressed charges, went through the whole embarrassing ordeal of a trial and sat there while he was aquitted of all charges simply because she was intoxicated when it happened. I testified at her trial that they did not have an ongoing sexual relationship and that he was all over her that evening prior to the rape. Still after that, and other people testified she was the one who was treated like some kind of sexual devieant. Like she brought this apon herself because she was drinking. My niece pressed charges, it was a case of date rape, and again had to endure the attack all over again during the trial simply to see the guy get a slap on the wrist. So I do have some knowledge. Even if I had no knowledge of the these situation or was an expert I still wouldn't assume to know more than people who have lived through it.

Let me ask you want knowledge do you have besides some college credits.

sponger

mammasan wrote:

Personally first hand none, but my niece was raped and I have dealt with children, through a mentoring program, who have been sexually assaulted. So I do have some experience with it, so you can shove your assumptions up your ass. Even if I had no knowledge of the these situation or was an expert I still wouldn't assume to know more than people who have lived through it.

These children were sexually assaulted, yet you fail to mention if those assaults had previously been reported. You mean to say these children disclosed to you before anyone else their sexual abuse?

And the reason I assumed you had no background on this is because I know from experience that anyone who does have background on this would definitely be calling for these child molesters to be brought to justice --YES at the expense of bringing up old trauma. Geez. Part of growing up is learning that it's not always about us.

Stop pretending and give up already.

mammasan

sponger wrote:

These children were sexually assaulted, yet you fail to mention if those assaults had previously been reported. You mean to say these children disclosed to you before anyone else their sexual abuse?

And the reason I assumed you had no background on this is because I know from experience that anyone who does have background on this would definitely be calling for these child molesters to be brought to justice --YES at the expense of bringing up old trauma. Geez. Part of growing up is learning that it's not always about us.

Stop pretending and give up already.

Unless you have been a victim you are simpling talking shit. You can say what ever you like and state what you believe is the right thing to do, but unless you have lived through the experience you don't know shit. As far as I can see you are the only one pretending that they know anything here. I don't pretend to know what victims feel like or what their reasons are for not reporting the assault so I don't criticize them for not doing so. I would definetly encourage that they do but would not hold it against them if they didn't. So maybe you should stop pretending that you know what you are talking about and have a little compasion.

sponger

mammasan wrote:

Unless you have been a victim you are simpling talking shit. You can say what ever you like and state what you believe is the right thing to do, but unless you have lived through the experience you don't know shit. As far as I can see you are the only one pretending that they know anything here. I don't pretend to know what victims feel like or what their reasons are for not reporting the assault so I don't criticize them for not doing so. I would definetly encourage that they do but would not hold it against them if they didn't. So maybe you should stop pretending that you know what you are talking about and have a little compasion.

They're adults now. It's possible the people that are being abused right now are children.

The fact of the matter is that it is not uncommon for adults to come forward about their abuse years later, and as a result, bring about the end of a continuing cycle of abuse.

So, your "compassion" is really just the enabling of child sexual abuse. But, it's not really that you have compassion. It's just that you don't understand the severity of the situation.

soulsinging

sponger wrote:

These children were sexually assaulted, yet you fail to mention if those assaults had previously been reported. You mean to say these children disclosed to you before anyone else their sexual abuse?

And the reason I assumed you had no background on this is because I know from experience that anyone who does have background on this would definitely be calling for these child molesters to be brought to justice --YES at the expense of bringing up old trauma. Geez. Part of growing up is learning that it's not always about us.

Stop pretending and give up already.

i notice you still wont say what experience you have outside of sitting in on a few college therapy sessions.

nobody is saying child molesters should not be brought to justice. we are saying you have no business tormenting people who have already been abused becos they did not react to it exactly the way you want them to. or maybe you're a child molestor yourself and the guilt is killing you so you're just dying for someone to turn you in?

sponger

soulsinging wrote:

i notice you still wont say what experience you have outside of sitting in on a few college therapy sessions.

nobody is saying child molesters should not be brought to justice. we are saying you have no business tormenting people who have already been abused becos they did not react to it exactly the way you want them to. or maybe you're a child molestor yourself and the guilt is killing you so you're just dying for someone to turn you in?

And in each of those sessions, every single one of the sexual abuse victims in the room had either a) already contacted authorities or b) been urged to contact authorities.

That's still more victims and more conseling than can be fully disclosed on a message board. I could sit here for hours and tell you stories about child sexual abuse and the counseling they received.

What have you got? You've got nothing.

If you go on a police ride along and notice cops arresting people breaking the law, you get the general idea that breaking the law will warrant some kind of police action. It doesn't take years and years of experience.

When you sit in on a semester full of group therapy sessions and notice what kind of advice child sexual abuse victims are being given, then you get the general idea.

Neither Vedder nor Just Her Way have sought counseling, so you've got nothing to say in terms of what a qualified professional might actually say to them. I do.

sponger

soulsinging wrote:

yes, nobody has ever made a grammatical error on a msg board before in an emotional state.

A grammatical error that would be conveniently timed and used in conjuction with other contradictory statements, such as never having gone to the police. You're reaching, and it's pathetic.

put no words in your mouth, you clearly called her a coward for failing to report. as a psych major, you should know more about the psychological trauma sexual abuse can inflict upon the victim.

Yet, just a moment ago, you were hellbent on proving that my limited education would stunt my ability to understand. You contradict yourself. This is what you do. You talk out of your ass...constantly.

it robs them of their identity and ability to make strong choices in many instances. as evidenced by a number of victims and the counselors. i know hippiemom's background, but it is not for me to explain it to you. however, i notice that you do not deny that you've never been abused, never known anyone who has, and only have as much experience as your pampered undergrad volunteer sessions gave you. what'd you take... 20 credit hours? yeah, clearly you know far more than the collective wisdom of all the people on here who ahve dealt with the issue.

Hippiemom said she counseled "A woman" who has been through this. Just one? How is it that in one semester of weekly group sessions, I have more exposure to this scenario than I can count?

Bringing child sexual abuse to the attention of authorities is textbook counseling. You can argue with that, but that would just make you look more naive.

and yes, i know people outside this forum who have been abused.

And whether or not that abuse was appropriately handled is in question. You've made no relevant point with that statement.

and yeehaw, kentucky enacted certain stricter laws stricter... as far as i can see, however, the only particular mention of licensed counselors is that they cannot hide behind privilege when called to testify or offer evidence.

And what that means is that they will not be held legally accountable when they break confidentiality for those reasons. And believe me, they take advantage of that loophole. When considering that it's for the sake of other small children who might also be falling victim to an abuser, it's an easy choice for them to make.

JD Sal

sponger wrote:

When you sit in on a semester full of group therapy sessions and notice what kind of advice child sexual abuse victims are being given, then you get the general idea.

Neither Vedder nor Just Her Way have sought counseling, so you've got nothing to say in terms of what a qualified professional might actually say to them. I do.

My wife is a counselor for emotionally disturbed and behaviorally challenged kids / teenagers, many of whom have a history of sexual and physical abuse. Let me ask you, since you say you have experience in terms of what a qualified professional might actually say to a victim, would a counselor or therapist encourage the victim to report the incident(s), or would they go as far as to insult the victim for not doing so by calling them child molestor enablers and claim they are personally responsible for other victims, such as you have?

mammasan

sponger wrote:

They're adults now. It's possible the people that are being abused right now are children.

The fact of the matter is that it is not uncommon for adults to come forward about their abuse years later, and as a result, bring about the end of a continuing cycle of abuse.

So, your "compassion" is really just the enabling of child sexual abuse. But, it's not really that you have compassion. It's just that you don't understand the severity of the situation.

No my compasion is in not assuming to know better than the victim. Like I stated i would encourage the victim to report the crime, but would not criticize them for not doing so being that I do not understand nor know what they are going through. Simply because you had a couple of visiting professionals in a college course does not make you an expert in the field. Nor does it qualify you in passing any judgement on these people. In fact I'm pretty sure that a professional therapist would probably agree with me on this.

sponger

mammasan wrote:

No my compasion is in not assuming to know better than the victim. Like I stated i would encourage the victim to report the crime, but would not criticize them for not doing so being that I do not understand nor know what they are going through. Simply because you had a couple of visiting professionals in a college course does not make you an expert in the field. Nor does it qualify you in passing any judgement on these people. In fact I'm pretty sure that a professional therapist would probably agree with me on this.

You're pretty sure a professional therapist would agree with you, huh? LOL. How many professional therapists have you seen treat sexual abuse victims?

Again, go home.

mammasan

JD Sal wrote:

My wife is a counselor for emotionally disturbed and behaviorally challenged kids / teenagers, many of whom have a history of sexual and physical abuse. Let me ask you, since you say you have experience in terms of what a qualified professional might actually say to a victim, would a counselor or therapist encourage the victim to report the incident(s), or would they go as far as to insult the victim for not doing so by calling them child molestor enablers and claim they are personally responsible for other victims, such as you have?

Thank you. You stated the point I was trying to make a little more elequently. A professional therapist would definetly encourage the victim to report the crime but would definetly not resort to insulting them. Spongers reaction leads me to believe that he has very little experience with this. One college course doesn't mean squat. So he has no business passing judgement on these people for not reporting the crime.

soulsinging

sponger wrote:

And in each of those sessions, every single one of the sexual abuse victims in the room had either a) already contacted authorities or b) been urged to contact authorities.

That's still more victims and more conseling than can be fully disclosed on a message board. I could sit here for hours and tell you stories about child sexual abuse and the counseling they received.

What have you got? You've got nothing.

If you go on a police ride along and notice cops arresting people breaking the law, you get the general idea that breaking the law will warrant some kind of police action. It doesn't take years and years of experience.

When you sit in on a semester full of group therapy sessions and notice what kind of advice child sexual abuse victims are being given, then you get the general idea.

Neither Vedder nor Just Her Way have sought counseling, so you've got nothing to say in terms of what a qualified professional might actually say to them. I do.

this goes to show the fantasy world you live in buddy. vedder was not sexually abused. alive is a SONG not a police report. second, i suppose when you sat in on those group counseling sessions the "encouragement" they received to urge them to report the abuse was along the lines of "you're a weak and cowardly, worthless human and you are directly responsible for raping children and just as guilty as the actual rapist." did they say that in counseling? cos you've said it here. it's all well and good to encourage victims to report abuse, but you clearly took no more than a semester's worth of it becos you don't know the first thing about empathy, human kindness, or how to help people.

what have i got? what ahve you got... still nothing more than a semester's worth of sitting in while mommy and daddy payed your tuition.

sponger

soulsinging wrote:

what have i got? what ahve you got... still nothing more than a semester's worth of sitting in while mommy and daddy payed your tuition.

LMAO. You've been going on and on about how I'm "spoiled" and pampered. It's just kind of funny. Goes to show you know absolutely nothing about my life. Not everyone in southern california is rich.

In fact, I bet YOU are the mama's boy. Something tells me you cry like a little girl when it comes down to it.

mammasan

sponger wrote:

You're pretty sure a professional therapist would agree with you, huh? LOL. How many professional therapists have you seen treat sexual abuse victims?

Again, go home.

Yes I'm damn sure that a professional therapist would not insult their patient just because they decided not to report the crime. In fact I'm 100% sure that any half way decent therapist would never do such a thing. So again you are just talking shit.

soulsinging

"Yet, just a moment ago, you were hellbent on proving that my limited education would stunt my ability to understand. You contradict yourself. This is what you do. You talk out of your ass...constantly."

it's called sarcasm.

"Hippiemom said she counseled "A woman" who has been through this. Just one? How is it that in one semester of weekly group sessions, I have more exposure to this scenario than I can count?

Bringing child sexual abuse to the attention of authorities is textbook counseling. You can argue with that, but that would just make you look more naive."

as i said, it's not my business to tell her story, but it is a helluva lot more xp than one semester of ego-stroking. i've never said abuse should be hidden, i've said it should not be worsened by people like you.

sponger

First of all, people, I think we're finally getting somewhere.

I never on a single say that a counselor would ride anybody's ass on this.

I am the person riding their ass on this, and I admit that I'm being somewhat direct about it. Yes, that's what separates me from a professional.

But, let's not contradict ourselves. From the beginning, you yahoos have been saying that the mere thought of them being urged to confront their abusers is just cold-hearted and thoughtless.

Remember, my first post about this was simply, "You need to destroy the abuser's life before that abuser destroys the lives of others."

And I got a whole bunch of a flak from people who really didn't have clue about what was going on.

Now you want to change your tune and say that these people should be at least "URGED" to bring this matter to the authorities.

Well, that's a whole lot different from how this thread was going earlier.

Looks like my work is done.

soulsinging

sponger wrote:

LMAO. You've been going on and on about how I'm "spoiled" and pampered. It's just kind of funny. Goes to show you know absolutely nothing about my life. Not everyone in southern california is rich.

In fact, I bet YOU are the mama's boy. Something tells me you cry like a little girl when it comes down to it.

answer the question tough guy. do you know ANYTHING about counseling beyond one semester of college classes?

i've seen your attitude before. usually in the perpetrator's of the abuse of people i know.

soulsinging

sponger wrote:

But, let's not contradict ourselves. From the beginning, you yahoos have been saying that the mere thought of them being urged to confront their abusers is just cold-hearted and thoughtless.

where did anyone take this stance? the only umbrage (you might have to look that one up) anyone took was your judgmental attitude and callousness towards victims' feelings.

good to see you admitting that you are an asshole about it though. that's progress. your therapist would be proud.

sponger

soulsinging wrote:

"Yet, just a moment ago, you were hellbent on proving that my limited education would stunt my ability to understand. You contradict yourself. This is what you do. You talk out of your ass...constantly."

it's called sarcasm.

I see. So when your foot gets put in your mouth, it's because you were just being sarcastic. I will make note of that.

"Hippiemom said she counseled "A woman" who has been through this. Just one? How is it that in one semester of weekly group sessions, I have more exposure to this scenario than I can count?

Bringing child sexual abuse to the attention of authorities is textbook counseling. You can argue with that, but that would just make you look more naive."

as i said, it's not my business to tell her story, but it is a helluva lot more xp than one semester of ego-stroking. i've never said abuse should be hidden, i've said it should not be worsened by people like you.

Ego-stroking? You think I enjoyed it.

Hippiemom having counseled a single person about this doesn't mean shit. If you think it does, then you're lost.

Besides, you've already acknowledged in an earlier post that these victims are "encouraged" to report the abuse to the authorities. That contradicts what hippiemom was saying. So you are contradicting hippiemom. Suppose that's just more sarcasm?