Suicide

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  • wolfbear
    wolfbear Posts: 3,965
    nickcat0 wrote:
    Thanks for the good wishes Jeanie and wolfbear .

    I think my mum suffers from a guilt that maybe she could have done more to support her father over his bereavement . That if she had "been there for him " a little bit more , he wouldn't have taken his life .

    Then she also has the mental image of his body , slumped , with his head in the gas oven .

    Finally , she was pregnant with me at the time , and I think she wishes that he'd stayed a little longer and maybe found some joy in his 1st grandchild , and started to enjoy life again .

    Now don't get me wrong . This unhappy event hasn't clouded her entire life , but there are moments when something will remind her .

    That is certainly understandable, but that would have happened whether or not he had committed suicide. Death is a part of life and certain things always remind you of someone who has died. Wishing you could share a moment or thought. I think you and your mom are ok, at least it sounds like it to me. Love life but don't be afraid of death either, it's inevitable! :)
    "I'd rather be with an animal." "Those that can be trusted can change their mind." "The in between is mine." "If I don't lose control, explore and not explode, a preternatural other plane with the power to maintain." "Yeh this is living." "Life is what you make it."
  • Jeanie
    Jeanie Posts: 9,446
    nickcat0 wrote:
    I'm certain my grandad had no intention of hurting anyone but himself . I'd suggest that the grief he was feeling led to some disturbed thinking .

    Death can be a blessing . My wife and I watched her mother deteriorate over several years . To see her lying there , in her hospital bed , at peace , looking years younger , was strangely reassuring .

    :) This is very true.

    I guess I'm just not that big a fan of it at the moment. I'm tired of losing loved ones. And completely unreasonable I know, but I just wish we could all live forever. I welcome death as an alternative to suffering but it's really not much of a choice as far as I can see. But yes I know this feeling you're describing and it is comforting to know that your loved one has peace. :)
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • nickcat0
    nickcat0 Posts: 75
    Jeanie wrote:
    :) This is very true.

    I guess I'm just not that big a fan of it at the moment. I'm tired of losing loved ones. And completely unreasonable I know, but I just wish we could all live forever. I welcome death as an alternative to suffering but it's really not much of a choice as far as I can see. But yes I know this feeling you're describing and it is comforting to know that your loved one has peace. :)

    Whilst not wishing to hijack this thread , and turn it into a religious debate .

    I suspect it helps to find peace and comfort in the death of a loved one , if you believe in an afterlife that is "better" than this life .

    If you believe that this life is all there is , then maybe you cling on to it more .
    Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
    9/9/06
    Everton 3 RS 0
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    nickcat0 wrote:
    If you believe that this life is all there is , then maybe you cling on to it more .

    not i. i believe this is a one shot deal. you screw up you don't get another shot. of course even if you don't screw it up you don't get a second shot. can't say that i'll be happy to go but my hold on this life is what it is - a light grip with opportunities aplenty to go my own way. :)
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • Bu2
    Bu2 Posts: 1,693
    catefrances wrote:
    not i. i believe this is a one shot deal. you screw up you don't get another shot. of course even if you don't screw it up you don't get a second shot. can't say that i'll be happy to go but my hold on this life is what it is - a light grip with opportunities aplenty to go my own way. :)

    And isn't that what life is all about? Holding on....EDIT....until it's time to let go.
    Feels Good Inc.
  • Jeanie
    Jeanie Posts: 9,446
    nickcat0 wrote:
    Whilst not wishing to hijack this thread , and turn it into a religious debate .

    I suspect it helps to find peace and comfort in the death of a loved one , if you believe in an afterlife that is "better" than this life .

    If you believe that this life is all there is , then maybe you cling on to it more .

    :) Interesting progression in the conversation because we were just discussing that in the other thread.

    I'm not a believer so maybe that is true. I still find comfort and peace or perhaps it's just I become used to it? Learn to live with it? Think I'm just currently in the grieving process so probably not going to be able to think of it unemotionally. But I do know that I'm tired of saying good bye to people and of not having them physically in my life. I don't really believe in the afterlife so death is a finality for me. Perhaps I would take more comfort if I did believe, but I can't muster it if it aint happening. :) I think it's great for people that can though. :)
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • nickcat0
    nickcat0 Posts: 75
    I hope there's a bit more to it than just holding on , Bu2 .

    I assume you mean in the thread about God , Jeanie . I haven't read all of that one , so didn't know that was where the discussion had gone .

    I do believe in an afterlife , I call myself a Christian , and personally find a lot of comfort in my beliefs .

    My best wishes to you as you come to terms with your losses .
    Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
    9/9/06
    Everton 3 RS 0
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    Bu2 wrote:
    And isn't that what life is all about? Holding on....EDIT....until it's time to let go.

    no. i don't see it as such. we should be living, not just holding on until...
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • Bu2
    Bu2 Posts: 1,693
    catefrances wrote:
    no. i don't see it as such. we should be living, not just holding on until...

    Living IS taking each day and everything that happens in it. Rolling with the punches, finding better ways to roll, so that the punches don't hurt as much, with time. Holding on. Hanging on. Surviving. Holding on.

    I never said "getting by"....there's a difference.
    Feels Good Inc.
  • nickcat0
    nickcat0 Posts: 75
    Bu2 wrote:
    Living IS taking each day and everything that happens in it. Rolling with the punches, finding better ways to roll, so that the punches don't hurt as much, with time. Holding on. Hanging on. Surviving. Holding on.

    I never said "getting by"....there's a difference.

    Fair point ..... living is rolling with the punches etc .

    But it's also the hug from your children ; the smile of your partner ; the laughter of friends .
    Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
    9/9/06
    Everton 3 RS 0
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    Bu2 wrote:
    Living IS taking each day and everything that happens in it. Rolling with the punches, finding better ways to roll, so that the punches don't hurt as much, with time. Holding on. Hanging on. Surviving. Holding on.

    I never said "getting by"....there's a difference.


    holding on for me connotes something negative Bu.

    how does one survive a life when one ends up dead in the end? ;)
    but i do know what you mean.

    i don't just want to survive. i want to take this life and shake the shit out of it. where i am right now in that life denies me that. but i am working on it and when it happens look out, cause i will take no prisoners. :)
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • Jeanie
    Jeanie Posts: 9,446
    nickcat0 wrote:
    ...

    I assume you mean in the thread about God , Jeanie . I haven't read all of that one , so didn't know that was where the discussion had gone .

    I do believe in an afterlife , I call myself a Christian , and personally find a lot of comfort in my beliefs .

    My best wishes to you as you come to terms with your losses .

    Yeah, the God thread. :) It's an interesting read so far.

    I'm really happy for you nick, truly. I can see how having your belief system would be a comfort. And thank you for the wishes. :)
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • Bu2
    Bu2 Posts: 1,693
    catefrances wrote:
    holding on for me connotes something negative Bu.

    how does one survive a life when one ends up dead in the end? ;)
    but i do know what you mean.

    i don't just want to survive. i want to take this life and shake the shit out of it. where i am right now in that life denies me that. but i am working on it and when it happens look out, cause i will take no prisoners. :)

    I'd like it to be said that I held on to life as long as I could.

    I'd also like it to be said that I was a wonderful person, but let's not push it.
    Feels Good Inc.
  • nickcat0
    nickcat0 Posts: 75
    catefrances wrote:

    how does one survive a life when one ends up dead in the end? ;)

    See the thread on God for details ;)
    Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
    9/9/06
    Everton 3 RS 0
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    nickcat0 wrote:
    See the thread on God for details ;)

    what do you mean see the God thread. i created that God thread. I AM GOD!!! :D:D:p LMAO!!!
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • nickcat0
    nickcat0 Posts: 75
    catefrances wrote:
    what do you mean see the God thread. i created that God thread. I AM GOD!!! :D:D:p LMAO!!!

    Nice one Centurion , lol .
    Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
    9/9/06
    Everton 3 RS 0
  • Jeanie
    Jeanie Posts: 9,446
    Bu2 wrote:
    I'd like it to be said that I held on to life as long as I could.

    I'd also like it to be said that I was a wonderful person, but let's not push it.

    At my funeral I hope everyone gets pissed and talks about all the fun times we had together and listens to lots of really cool PJ and other music that I loved and they're all happy that we shared time together. And that they remember that I love them. :)
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • nickcat0
    nickcat0 Posts: 75
    Jeanie wrote:
    At my funeral I hope everyone gets pissed and talks about all the fun times we had together and listens to lots of really cool PJ and other music that I loved and they're all happy that we shared time together. And that they remember that I love them. :)

    Very wise words .
    Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
    9/9/06
    Everton 3 RS 0
  • Jeanie
    Jeanie Posts: 9,446
    nickcat0 wrote:
    Very wise words .

    Dunno nick. :o I might be cross I'm missing all the fun! :D
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • nickcat0
    nickcat0 Posts: 75
    Jeanie wrote:
    Dunno nick. :o I might be cross I'm missing all the fun! :D

    I thought you didn't believe in an afterlife , so how would you know ?;)
    Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
    9/9/06
    Everton 3 RS 0

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