Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
over specific principles, goals, and policies.
But, you admit, you aren't literally creating a new reality. You can't simply wish the spider away and it's gone. You need to physically interact with reality to get rid of the spider.
So, I'm confused. I'm identifying negatives within our social norms and gender models. I also see many positives in them, but there is much miscommunication over them. Everytime a man says "Women do this.." or a woman says "Men do this..." they are creating a negative image about the gender role and passing it on to others who may or may not reciprocate. In my experience, men and women tend to agree with each other, which further solidifies the gender model with negativity. If you are suggesting that you prefer to say "Men do this [positive]" instead of "Men do this [negative]" then I suppose you are postulating a positive gender model, unfortunately that is quite rare, and a very admirable quality indeed.
I guess, I'm just not understanding the language.
women are such good listeners and so kind and understanding.
men are so strong and dependable emotionally.
is that negative?
you're just projecting your glass is half empty mentality on the entire world.
lmao Cupcock... Gives Poundcake a crass new meaning I guess.
Oh yeah!
Yeah! She's gotta have soul
Or it won't feel right
Well, just plain, clean, and simple
Wrapped up nice n' tight
It's gettin' hard to find
Guess it ain't hip enough now
You take an average guy, he can't identify, uh
And there's a short supply of her fine, fine stuff
Lemme get on, lemme get on, lemme get on some o' that
Shake it up, bake it up nice, uh!
Lemme get on, lemme get on, lemme get on all that
...I so love my baby's poundcake
Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
over specific principles, goals, and policies.
women are such good listeners and so kind and understanding.
men are so strong and dependable emotionally.
is that negative?
you're just projecting your glass is half empty mentality on the entire world.
I just see a glass that is 50% occupied by H2O and 50% occupied by Air.
I'm not a fan of this optimist/pessimist paradigm that's become so popular.
I think it's used as an excuse for ignoring the part that is empty.
"men are so strong and dependable emotionally." Who says that? Nobody says that!
I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
hey, we're not the ones bursting into tears over a really sad commercial. who's gonna tell you to toughen the fuck up when that happens if not a man who realizes how stupid it is?
you go to a funeral? who's weeping and moaning and who's being the strong, comforting presence?
hey, we're not the ones bursting into tears over a really sad commercial. who's gonna tell you to toughen the fuck up when that happens if not a man who realizes how stupid it is?
you go to a funeral? who's weeping and moaning and who's being the strong, comforting presence?
Could your caricatures be any more transparent??
"The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth." ~ Niels Bohr
hey, we're not the ones bursting into tears over a really sad commercial. who's gonna tell you to toughen the fuck up when that happens if not a man who realizes how stupid it is?
you go to a funeral? who's weeping and moaning and who's being the strong, comforting presence?
I guess it all depends on who's wearing the pants in the relationship...
"Sarcasm: intellect on the offensive"
"What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact."
i can try. my point was simply that he's obsessing over how stereotypes are cultural and dictate behave and are horribly oppressive and restrictive. that's wrong. stereotypes are inherently descriptive, they become stereotypes becos people notice commonalities in the behavior of x group of people. and they are not all inherently oppressive and bad.
hey, we're not the ones bursting into tears over a really sad commercial. who's gonna tell you to toughen the fuck up when that happens if not a man who realizes how stupid it is?
you go to a funeral? who's weeping and moaning and who's being the strong, comforting presence?
conor conor conor you macho man you. :rolleyes:
if only i watched commercials or even gave a shit.
when you've finished pounding your chest like a gorilla, can you take that garbage out for me. thanks babe.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
over specific principles, goals, and policies.
i can try. my point was simply that he's obsessing over how stereotypes are cultural and dictate behave and are horribly oppressive and restrictive. that's wrong. stereotypes are inherently descriptive, they become stereotypes becos people notice commonalities in the behavior of x group of people. and they are not all inherently oppressive and bad.
I agree that they are not inherently oppressive or bad, even though there is a shadow side to generalizing and stereotyping. They are technically neutral in that these norms are meeting needs for us, or they would fall away.
"The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth." ~ Niels Bohr
i can try. my point was simply that he's obsessing over how stereotypes are cultural and dictate behave and are horribly oppressive and restrictive. that's wrong. stereotypes are inherently descriptive, they become stereotypes becos people notice commonalities in the behavior of x group of people. and they are not all inherently oppressive and bad.
I didn't say they are all negative. But mostly the negative connotations are used. Women say nice things about women and bad things about men, and vice versa.
For example, many men would say women are worse drivers because they try to multi-task, chatting on their phones, doing their make-up, etc.. Meanwhile, women will say men are worse drivers because their testosterone and macho mentality. The insurance companies using their accuators will tell you that women are statistically better drivers. However, I've never caused an accident, I've been in several, one that almost took my life as a child and within all my power, I will not do that to someone else. I don't talk on my cell-phone while driving, I mostly ignore my passengers, my focus is on the road and I obey every law of the road. Both of those stereotypes are wrong, it comes down to the individual.
I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
I was listening to body language psychologists talk about how the position of our bodies during communication can actually outspeak our words and lead to miscommunication.
One example that comes to mind is if your woman is getting dressed to go out, and comes to you asking you how she looks, you need to line up your hip position in tandem with hers i.e. facing her square on before you provide your answer. If your hips are misaligned to the left right or sideways, the message is interpreted as "I really don't give a shit". Also talked about were all the poker tells that poker players give away when they have the "nuts" or are just bluffing. Men and women are quite different here as well. People who touch around the throat and neck area a lot are actually soothing themselves subconsciously.
Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
over specific principles, goals, and policies.
it's so good having a big strong man around the house. i don't know what i'd ever do without you.
I'm down with all that, but when it becomes "Women are better parents" and therefor have favor in child custody battles. Then it's a problem. Or when the O.P.P. (Ontario Provincial Police) respond to a domestic violence call and have to follow this script that says; remove the man from the home; take photographs of damage to female; place charges on male. Then it's a problem.
I'll tell you this story, if you haven't heard it. A couple, friends of mine, had a fight. Shandel (female) was leaving that morning to her parents for the weekend. John (male) was sleeping. Shadel was pissed off that John wouldn't get out of bed to see her off, she tried waking him and he just said "see you later" and went back to sleep. So, Shandel jumped on him, and she is a big woman, he's a little guy. She continued to beat the shit out of him and he tried to restrain her. A neighbour called the O.P.P., when they showed up they automatically assumed that he was hitting her. Shandel explained the whole situation honestly to the police. The officers examined both of them for bruises and found that John was pretty beat up and Shandel had a few restraint marks. They placed charges of assault on both of them, removed John from the home and placed a restraining order on him. He wasn't allowed to see his wife or his baby for 3 months. He was the major bread-winner and had to pay all of the bills in her name and rent through a proxy. Finally they went to court and received diversion, which means no criminal charges, but were both sentenced to anger management counseling. At this point you would think they would put them in a private session, but no, they have a system set up. They put the men in anger management training, force them to confront their anger and learn to control it. They put the women in a class for coping with partner's aggression, they have tea, lounge around on sofas and discuss their husband's rage or whatever else. You see, how these stereotypes affect how society deals with situations. It's totally lop-sided and, well, it bugs me.
A guy I knew in Victoria.. his wife divorced him, but she charged him with something, he was a teacher and lost his job cause he was in jail, he was found not-guilty, but ended up working at Radio Shack as a salesman. He lost his kids, his house and he pays through his nose to support her. He gets to see his kids once a week and can't even afford to buy them an ice-cream. It's fucking sick, and it's the "gender role" bias of the legal system that makes it sick.
All the rest, is good stuff, it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye.
I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
I was listening to body language psychologists talk about how the position of our bodies during communication can actually outspeak our words and lead to miscommunication.
One example that comes to mind is if your woman is getting dressed to go out, and comes to you asking you how she looks, you need to line up your hip position in tandem with hers i.e. facing her square on before you provide your answer. If your hips are misaligned to the left right or sideways, the message is interpreted as "I really don't give a shit". Also talked about were all the poker tells that poker players give away when they have the "nuts" or are just bluffing. Men and women are quite different here as well. People who touch around the throat and neck area a lot are actually soothing themselves subconsciously.
Yea man. Wide-leg stance, sitting on hands, it all says something
I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
Duran Duran rules!!! I love to receive my myspace bulletins written by John Taylor, the legend, himself! And baraka's husband resembled him back in the day!
........For example, I used to believe men were abusive and that the large majority were sexually assaultive. I then attraced abusive man after man and sexual assault after sexual assault. Since I've learned to focus differently, I've come to attract cool, intelligent, reasonably balanced men who can not only handle, but who actually appreciate strong, intelligent, reasonably balanced women...........
Managed the first bit girl. But teach me the second?
I'm down with all that, but when it becomes "Women are better parents" and therefor have favor in child custody battles. Then it's a problem. Or when the O.P.P. (Ontario Provincial Police) respond to a domestic violence call and have to follow this script that says; remove the man from the home; take photographs of damage to female; place charges on male. Then it's a problem.
I'll tell you this story, if you haven't heard it. A couple, friends of mine, had a fight. Shandel (female) was leaving that morning to her parents for the weekend. John (male) was sleeping. Shadel was pissed off that John wouldn't get out of bed to see her off, she tried waking him and he just said "see you later" and went back to sleep. So, Shandel jumped on him, and she is a big woman, he's a little guy. She continued to beat the shit out of him and he tried to restrain her. A neighbour called the O.P.P., when they showed up they automatically assumed that he was hitting her. Shandel explained the whole situation honestly to the police. The officers examined both of them for bruises and found that John was pretty beat up and Shandel had a few restraint marks. They placed charges of assault on both of them, removed John from the home and placed a restraining order on him. He wasn't allowed to see his wife or his baby for 3 months. He was the major bread-winner and had to pay all of the bills in her name and rent through a proxy. Finally they went to court and received diversion, which means no criminal charges, but were both sentenced to anger management counseling. At this point you would think they would put them in a private session, but no, they have a system set up. They put the men in anger management training, force them to confront their anger and learn to control it. They put the women in a class for coping with partner's aggression, they have tea, lounge around on sofas and discuss their husband's rage or whatever else. You see, how these stereotypes affect how society deals with situations. It's totally lop-sided and, well, it bugs me.
A guy I knew in Victoria.. his wife divorced him, but she charged him with something, he was a teacher and lost his job cause he was in jail, he was found not-guilty, but ended up working at Radio Shack as a salesman. He lost his kids, his house and he pays through his nose to support her. He gets to see his kids once a week and can't even afford to buy them an ice-cream. It's fucking sick, and it's the "gender role" bias of the legal system that makes it sick.
All the rest, is good stuff, it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye.
I think these scenarios are very sad, and completely unfair. Having said that, the reason that the procedures and laws are in place that are is because of statistics. In order for the statistics to change and then impact on the procedures, means that more men need to come forward. It also means that this scenario is currently happening more to women than men. What should we do about that?
Comments
I fucking LOVE the internet!!!
if only all men were so.....errrrrrrrr......erect.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
I guess you could call it a cupcock. lol...
and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
over specific principles, goals, and policies.
http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg
(\__/)
( o.O)
(")_(")
lmao Cupcock... Gives Poundcake a crass new meaning I guess.
"What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact."
Camden 5-28-06
Washington, D.C. 6-22-08
:eek:
ha!
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
women are such good listeners and so kind and understanding.
men are so strong and dependable emotionally.
is that negative?
you're just projecting your glass is half empty mentality on the entire world.
LMFAO
the words of a man looking to get to some.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
lol I was waiting for this post. Thanks cate.
"What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact."
Camden 5-28-06
Washington, D.C. 6-22-08
yeah well.... i love a man with a sense of humour.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
Oh yeah!
Yeah! She's gotta have soul
Or it won't feel right
Well, just plain, clean, and simple
Wrapped up nice n' tight
It's gettin' hard to find
Guess it ain't hip enough now
You take an average guy, he can't identify, uh
And there's a short supply of her fine, fine stuff
Lemme get on, lemme get on, lemme get on some o' that
Shake it up, bake it up nice, uh!
Lemme get on, lemme get on, lemme get on all that
...I so love my baby's poundcake
and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
over specific principles, goals, and policies.
http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg
(\__/)
( o.O)
(")_(")
I just see a glass that is 50% occupied by H2O and 50% occupied by Air.
I'm not a fan of this optimist/pessimist paradigm that's become so popular.
I think it's used as an excuse for ignoring the part that is empty.
"men are so strong and dependable emotionally." Who says that? Nobody says that!
hey, we're not the ones bursting into tears over a really sad commercial. who's gonna tell you to toughen the fuck up when that happens if not a man who realizes how stupid it is?
you go to a funeral? who's weeping and moaning and who's being the strong, comforting presence?
http://www.myspace.com/illuminatta
Rhinocerous Surprise '08!!!
I guess it all depends on who's wearing the pants in the relationship...
"What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact."
Camden 5-28-06
Washington, D.C. 6-22-08
i can try. my point was simply that he's obsessing over how stereotypes are cultural and dictate behave and are horribly oppressive and restrictive. that's wrong. stereotypes are inherently descriptive, they become stereotypes becos people notice commonalities in the behavior of x group of people. and they are not all inherently oppressive and bad.
conor conor conor you macho man you. :rolleyes:
if only i watched commercials or even gave a shit.
when you've finished pounding your chest like a gorilla, can you take that garbage out for me.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
over specific principles, goals, and policies.
http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg
(\__/)
( o.O)
(")_(")
http://www.myspace.com/illuminatta
Rhinocerous Surprise '08!!!
I didn't say they are all negative. But mostly the negative connotations are used. Women say nice things about women and bad things about men, and vice versa.
For example, many men would say women are worse drivers because they try to multi-task, chatting on their phones, doing their make-up, etc.. Meanwhile, women will say men are worse drivers because their testosterone and macho mentality. The insurance companies using their accuators will tell you that women are statistically better drivers. However, I've never caused an accident, I've been in several, one that almost took my life as a child and within all my power, I will not do that to someone else. I don't talk on my cell-phone while driving, I mostly ignore my passengers, my focus is on the road and I obey every law of the road. Both of those stereotypes are wrong, it comes down to the individual.
or who is wearing the dress.
no problem darling. ill lift that. i wouldnt want you to get those pretty nails dirty.
*he pats her on the arse as she hands him a beer*
*she smiles lovingly at him*
it's so good having a big strong man around the house. i don't know what i'd ever do without you.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
The one second from the left. :eek:
I can tell you it made kissing somewhat dangerous for the eyes!!
Needless to say we broke up!!
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
One example that comes to mind is if your woman is getting dressed to go out, and comes to you asking you how she looks, you need to line up your hip position in tandem with hers i.e. facing her square on before you provide your answer. If your hips are misaligned to the left right or sideways, the message is interpreted as "I really don't give a shit". Also talked about were all the poker tells that poker players give away when they have the "nuts" or are just bluffing. Men and women are quite different here as well. People who touch around the throat and neck area a lot are actually soothing themselves subconsciously.
and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
over specific principles, goals, and policies.
http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg
(\__/)
( o.O)
(")_(")
I'm down with all that, but when it becomes "Women are better parents" and therefor have favor in child custody battles. Then it's a problem. Or when the O.P.P. (Ontario Provincial Police) respond to a domestic violence call and have to follow this script that says; remove the man from the home; take photographs of damage to female; place charges on male. Then it's a problem.
I'll tell you this story, if you haven't heard it. A couple, friends of mine, had a fight. Shandel (female) was leaving that morning to her parents for the weekend. John (male) was sleeping. Shadel was pissed off that John wouldn't get out of bed to see her off, she tried waking him and he just said "see you later" and went back to sleep. So, Shandel jumped on him, and she is a big woman, he's a little guy. She continued to beat the shit out of him and he tried to restrain her. A neighbour called the O.P.P., when they showed up they automatically assumed that he was hitting her. Shandel explained the whole situation honestly to the police. The officers examined both of them for bruises and found that John was pretty beat up and Shandel had a few restraint marks. They placed charges of assault on both of them, removed John from the home and placed a restraining order on him. He wasn't allowed to see his wife or his baby for 3 months. He was the major bread-winner and had to pay all of the bills in her name and rent through a proxy. Finally they went to court and received diversion, which means no criminal charges, but were both sentenced to anger management counseling. At this point you would think they would put them in a private session, but no, they have a system set up. They put the men in anger management training, force them to confront their anger and learn to control it. They put the women in a class for coping with partner's aggression, they have tea, lounge around on sofas and discuss their husband's rage or whatever else. You see, how these stereotypes affect how society deals with situations. It's totally lop-sided and, well, it bugs me.
A guy I knew in Victoria.. his wife divorced him, but she charged him with something, he was a teacher and lost his job cause he was in jail, he was found not-guilty, but ended up working at Radio Shack as a salesman. He lost his kids, his house and he pays through his nose to support her. He gets to see his kids once a week and can't even afford to buy them an ice-cream. It's fucking sick, and it's the "gender role" bias of the legal system that makes it sick.
All the rest, is good stuff, it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye.
Yea man. Wide-leg stance, sitting on hands, it all says something
Oooh!! I LOVE Duran Duran!!!
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
I'm with you girl!!! Love those fellas!!
And how LUCKY is baraka???
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
Managed the first bit girl. But teach me the second?
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
I think these scenarios are very sad, and completely unfair. Having said that, the reason that the procedures and laws are in place that are is because of statistics. In order for the statistics to change and then impact on the procedures, means that more men need to come forward. It also means that this scenario is currently happening more to women than men. What should we do about that?
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift