I missed Arlo not being with me, but was happy at the same time to finally get some time to myself the last few weeks were so frantic that even I had to run out of energy eventually. I set down on the sofa to sit down and listen to my newest purchase. I love finding new bands and I finally had given myself the chance to check out some new music. Mogwai had been on my to buy list for quite some time now, but I kept forgetting.
« One man's glory is another man's hell.
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
staring into space listening to music was usually a pleasant experience for me. but sitting here, on this sofa with a blank canvas leaning against the wall in front of me, wasn't helping. i stood up and taking hold of one end of the sofa, i swung it around so i could look out the window at a quickly darkening sky.
a couple of minutes of that and i was through. i was too restless to sit still and yet too tired to do anything else. laying down, i closed my eyes and tried to drift off. the music filled my space and i thought i heard knocking. i opened my eyes. another knock on the door. woohoo arlo! i jumped up and tried not to run to the door. i flung it open.
'i was just thinking about y.... oh'
my face fell.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
Hallo. Will you let me in? I desperately need to talk to you.
« One man's glory is another man's hell.
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
« One man's glory is another man's hell.
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
Yes where to start? I left Vincent a few days ago. I've been sleeping in my car ever since. Well every night except for the first night.
« One man's glory is another man's hell.
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
'ahh well that explains why he came after me. do you want my congratulations? is that why you're here freya?'
i didn't really know how to deal with other people when they came to me for help. i knew that's why freya was here. and i knew that she would rather have been anywhere but there.
'i highly doubt i was your only resort.'
i walked over to the stereo and turned the music down. i turned back to my sister. i hope she wasn't expecting me to guess what was wrong or for that matter to empathise with her. she should have known better. i folded my arms across my body.
' so what is it you want?'
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
I must say I was a bit blow away when she said: "I am pragnant".
« One man's glory is another man's hell.
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
' i don't know what to say freya. is that why you left vincent? are you going to keep it? you're not thinking about going back to him are you?'
i couldn't deal with this. all my thoughts of adalita came flooding back and hearing that my sister was going to have a child wasn't something i wanted to hear. i just wanted to run out of there. i exhaled audibly and slumped down on the sofa. wow for the first time in her life my sister actually needed my help. i reached out and rested my hand on hers.
'i don't know what you want from me freya, but i'm here for you. just don't expect too much from me okay?'
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
I know it is hard for you Anna. It is just that I have no where else to go and I am scared. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I want to keep it, I'm not sure.
The only thing I do know is that I will not go back to Vincent. But I need your help you have been here before and I can't do this alone Anna. I hope you want to help me even if it is hard for you, I wouldn't ask this of you if I had anywhere else to go. But every one is tied to Vincent one way or another and I can't go to them.
« One man's glory is another man's hell.
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
Nine weeks already. And I don't know what I want to do. I was in an abortion clinic this afternoon, but I didn't dare. I don't know if I can handle a baby in this situation. And that it will be Vincent's baby.
She didn't finish her sentence, but I think I know what she wanted to say.
« One man's glory is another man's hell.
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
'well i hate to say this freya but you're the only person who can make that decision. i can support you all i can but it's not up to me or anyone else. you have to decide whetehr you're going to tell vincent as well. though i can't imagine if you are going to get rid of his child it'd be a wise move. where have you been staying?'
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
« One man's glory is another man's hell.
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
she had to be kidding. she thought i was being harsh.
'come on freya this is reality time. you've got a decision to make and you're the only one who can make it. i didn't mean to sound harsh but those are the facts.'
i stood up.
'do you want a drink? i know i could use one right about now.'
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
I know I have to make my own decision. It was just the way you said it that made it sound so,..... so,..... so ..... harsh. Nevermind. Yes I could use a drink right about now.
« One man's glory is another man's hell.
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
'yeah well no harsher than locking your sister up in rehab.'
with that i disappeared into the kitchen. opening the fridge all i had was water and two opened bottles of wine. i grabbed one of the bottles and two glasses out of the cupboard. as i walked i poured the wine into the glasses.
'so tell me again where you've been staying'
i handed one of the glasses to freya. and sat down next to her staring out the window. a flash of lightning lit up the sky.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
« One man's glory is another man's hell.
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
Well I would love to take a shower if that would be alright?
« One man's glory is another man's hell.
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
Ok I'll besure and try to mis that. It feels like ages ago that I actually washed my hair. God I smell worse than a corps.
« One man's glory is another man's hell.
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
i had no comeback for that comment.
so while my sister showered, i stood at the balcony door watching the rain come down wondering how long i'd have to share my space and where arlo was. why couldn't he spend the weekend with me. teachers didn't work on weekends. i closed my eyes and tried to lose myself in my thoughts.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
I stood there while the rain pored down. I loved this it always seemed to clear up my head.
« One man's glory is another man's hell.
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
Wow I didn't know you cared.
She smiled to soften up the remark, but I knew she wasn't entirely joking. I guess that's typical for the relationship we have.
« One man's glory is another man's hell.
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
i left her standing and went to get a broom. while i was in the storeroom, i heard the phone ring. then i hard freya talking. collecting the broom i came out and again ran into freya. i just looked her, saying nothing.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
She handed me the phone after saying: "Well she just walked in so here she comes."
« One man's glory is another man's hell.
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
Comments
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
a couple of minutes of that and i was through. i was too restless to sit still and yet too tired to do anything else. laying down, i closed my eyes and tried to drift off. the music filled my space and i thought i heard knocking. i opened my eyes. another knock on the door. woohoo arlo! i jumped up and tried not to run to the door. i flung it open.
'i was just thinking about y.... oh'
my face fell.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
'sure come on in.'
freya walked past me and i closed the door behind her.
'you know you look like shit freya.'
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
'i must be your last resort, so tell me what it is i can do for you.'
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
Yes where to start? I left Vincent a few days ago. I've been sleeping in my car ever since. Well every night except for the first night.
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
i didn't really know how to deal with other people when they came to me for help. i knew that's why freya was here. and i knew that she would rather have been anywhere but there.
'i highly doubt i was your only resort.'
i walked over to the stereo and turned the music down. i turned back to my sister. i hope she wasn't expecting me to guess what was wrong or for that matter to empathise with her. she should have known better. i folded my arms across my body.
' so what is it you want?'
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
i couldn't deal with this. all my thoughts of adalita came flooding back and hearing that my sister was going to have a child wasn't something i wanted to hear. i just wanted to run out of there. i exhaled audibly and slumped down on the sofa. wow for the first time in her life my sister actually needed my help. i reached out and rested my hand on hers.
'i don't know what you want from me freya, but i'm here for you. just don't expect too much from me okay?'
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
The only thing I do know is that I will not go back to Vincent. But I need your help you have been here before and I can't do this alone Anna. I hope you want to help me even if it is hard for you, I wouldn't ask this of you if I had anywhere else to go. But every one is tied to Vincent one way or another and I can't go to them.
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
i couldn't help myself. i did doubt freya knew and perhaps i should have kept the comment to myself but it was too late now.
'so how far along are you?'
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
She didn't finish her sentence, but I think I know what she wanted to say.
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
'come on freya this is reality time. you've got a decision to make and you're the only one who can make it. i didn't mean to sound harsh but those are the facts.'
i stood up.
'do you want a drink? i know i could use one right about now.'
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
with that i disappeared into the kitchen. opening the fridge all i had was water and two opened bottles of wine. i grabbed one of the bottles and two glasses out of the cupboard. as i walked i poured the wine into the glasses.
'so tell me again where you've been staying'
i handed one of the glasses to freya. and sat down next to her staring out the window. a flash of lightning lit up the sky.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
call me a bitch if you want, but the reason i extended this offer was because i knew freya would get tired of living with me real quick.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
so while my sister showered, i stood at the balcony door watching the rain come down wondering how long i'd have to share my space and where arlo was. why couldn't he spend the weekend with me. teachers didn't work on weekends. i closed my eyes and tried to lose myself in my thoughts.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
'jesus christ freya. don't sneak up on me like that. get back before you cut your feet.'
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
She smiled to soften up the remark, but I knew she wasn't entirely joking. I guess that's typical for the relationship we have.
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
i left her standing and went to get a broom. while i was in the storeroom, i heard the phone ring. then i hard freya talking. collecting the broom i came out and again ran into freya. i just looked her, saying nothing.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
Atlantic City: 09/30/05, 10/01/05
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»