funniest songs in rock

BLACK_animal_BLOOD

how bout

A Boy Named Sue - Johnny Cash

lalalalaaaaaaaa

Cuntry Boner

(search youtube)

Pearl Jam and toast

glasshouse wrote:

depends what your definition of funny is:

i mean most of the songs nickleback composed are fucking hilarious

true.



"No Pussy Blues" - Grinderman (aka Nick Cave and a few Bad Seeds).

analogueaddict72

I always find Several Species of Furry animals off Ummagumma by the Floyd very amusing.

Although most recently Robbie Williams Rude Box is gotta be the best example, it utterly atrocious but the lyric are so lame their hilarious.

If you thought his rapping in Rock DJ was bad Rude Box makes him sound like KRS 1 on that one.

Check these out.

head

Ok then back to baseheads dance like you just won at the special Olympics
I got the rudebox of the back of a spaceship, so sick I just had to take it
The R.U.D.E.B.O.X. up yer jacksy, split yer kecks sing a song of semtex, pocket full of durex body full of mandrex
Are we gonna have sex (yes) will you wear your knee socks (ohh) back to the rudebox

Got this double fantasy where we just never stop,
I've got one design and that's to funk you to the top
Know whats on my mind there's only one thing you will find
I got one design and that's to bump you til you drop

Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty

Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty

Ok then back to spaceship, take both pills fuck the matrix
Jack those jills shake your Playtex rock 3 stripes not the asics
A.D.I.D.A.S old school cos it's the best %u2013 yes
Tk max cost less yes
Jackson looks a mess bless

Ok then what to do
if you try to jack me ill rudebox you
if you rudebox me ill rudebox your whole crew
cos its what I do aint that right boo %u2013 true

I'll ride with you if you can get me to the border cos the sheriff's after me for what I did to his daughter
I did it like this you did it like that I love it when you double clap clap
[ Rudebox lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]

Grab this double fantasy where we just never stop
I've got one design and that's to funk you to the top
Know whats on my mind there%'s only one thing you will find
I got one design and that's to bump you til you drop

Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty

Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty

Ok then check the tan line, make your body shape like you're stood on a landmine
call me on my mobile not the landline and the jack the mainline at the same time

Ok this is what we do, got a jam so fresh its nice for you
Ok give it what you got and dial 808 for the bass to drop
Ok then whats the fracas grab your cardy your lead hat and your bus pass
you don't sweat much for a fat lass grab your rudebox cos your box is righteous

Ok bum rush the show I got high speed dubbing on my stereo and all the tunes in the box are the cherrio
I know I told you before
did you hear me though

Grab this double fantasy where we just never stop
ive got one design and that's to funk you to the top
Know whats on my mind there's only one thing you will find
I got one design and that's to bump you til you drop

Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty

Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty

Do the rudebox, shake your rudebox (repeat to fade)


To think EMI shelled out millions on this shit, all his albums since the very expensive deal have been utter flops, serves your own right you corporate cock suckers!

Pearl Jam and toast

BlackCorduroy wrote:

Dirty Frank:p I laugh every time at "My God he's been ate!":D

their sunk!

HE'S DRUNK!

NOW THEY SO FA LYIN HIGHLIN THAN BEFORE!

No idea what that last line really is but it's my favorite delivery in the entire song

MattCameronKicksButt

May I say a few?

Ex Girlfriend - The Vandals.
Don't Eat The Yellow Snow - Zappa (still)
Bobby Brown Goes Down - Frank Zappa
I'm An Asshole - Dennis Leary (if that counts, sorry)

...and probably Tribute too.

'Big Bottom' by Spinal Tap, also.

Pearls&Stones

"Institutionalized" by Suicidal Tendancies is really funny

and maybe
"I Palindrome I" by They Might Be Giants

and
"Hot For Teacher" by Van Halen....has the line "I brought my pencil, gimme somethin' to write on," plus awesome intrumental work

tybird

moeaholic wrote:

that's my ringtone.


Wynona's got herself a big brown beaver
and she shows it off to all her friends.
One day, you know, that beaver tried to leave her,
So she caged him up with cyclone fence.
Along came Lou with the old baboon
And said "Recognize that smell?"
"Smells like seven layers,
That beaver eats Taco Bell."
Now Rex was a Texan out of New Orleans
And he travelled with the carnival shows.
He ran bumper cars, sucked cheap cigars
And he candied up his nose.
He got wind of the big brown beaver
So he though he'd take himself a peek,
But the beaver was quick
And grabbed him by the kiwis.
Now he ain't pissed for a week.
(And a half!)
Now Wynona took her big brown beaver,
And she stuck him up in the air.
Said "I sure do love this big brown beaver
And I wish I did have a pair."
Now the beaver once slept for seven days
And it gave us all an awful fright.
So I tickled his chin and I gave him a pinch
And the bastard tried to bite me.
Wynona loved her big brown beaver
And she stroked him all the time.
She pricked her finger one day and it
Occurred to her she might have a porcupine.

What a cool ring tone!!!!

FinsburyParkCarrots

Does the "My Mum" song by Derek and Clive c(o)unt?

Ved in the Head91

"Debra" by Beck

"Lady, step into my Hyundai" - kills me every single time

lucylespian

Sorry guys, for piss funny, it is impossible to ignore Kevin Bloody Wilson. This is teh SAnta Claus song, tehr is another ripper called "You Can't Say Cunt In Canada", and teh Festival of Light is possibly teh best of all.


Hey Santa claus you cunt!

Where's me fucking bike?

I've unwrapped all this other junk and there's nothing that I like.

I wrote you a fucking letter and I come to see you twice

Ya worn out geriatric fart, you forgot me fucking bike.

If I wanted a pair of bloody thongs, I'd have bloody asked.

And this cowboy suit and ping pong set you can shove right up your arse!

You've stuffed me bloody order up

It's enough to make you spew

And I'm not the only one who's snakey

Me sisters dirty too!

(female voice)
Hey santa clause you cunt!

Where's me fucking pram?

You promised me you'd bring me one, you remember who I am.

'Cause I'm the little girl who you made sit right on your hand

I'll give you fucking ho ho ho

You forgot me fucking pram

(male voice)
Next time I come to see ya, I'm gonna punch you in the guts

And I'll let your fucking reihndeer go and kick Rudolf in the nuts!

You just wait 'till next year, when you go to that store

And me and me little sister, come stomping through the door

And we'll say, yeah you wait for it

Hey mums and dads you smell his breath and check his bloodshot eyes

And don't listen to him boys and girls 'cause he tells fucking lies

He's just a piss tank and a pervert, and he's not even very bright

'Cause the old fucking wanker Forgot me fucking bike.

You wait you old cunt, I'm gonna dob you in

Tell me old man on you, he's gonna punch your fucking lights out

"I saw mummy sucking santa clause"

Bwalker545

How has NoFX not gotten any love in this thread yet...


Clams have feelings too...

Birds are dumb, 'cause small bird brains
But so are kids and old people
Some birds talk, most others sing
I don't see you eat a talking bird

Pigs smell bad, they roll in poo
But so do kids and elderly
I don't see you chop off an old man's feet
Put 'em in a mason jar and pickle them

No chowder for you, 'cause clams have feelings too
Actually they don't have central nervousness
No manhatten style, clams have the right to smile
Come to think about it, they don't have a face

They have no face, no place for ears
There's no clam eyes, to cry clam tears
No spinal cord, they must get bored
Might as well just put them out of misery

I don't beleive it's selfish
To eat defenceless shellfish

No chowder for you, clams have feelings too
It could happen to you, clams have feelings too
I don't think they do, clams have feelings too


Fun Things To Fuck (If You're A Winner)"

fun things to fuck. fun things to fuck. fun things to fuck. fun things to fuck. fuck the front door, fuck the back. fuck the good girls with the knack. fuck the government until they fuck you back. fuck a muslim, fuck a jew. fuck fans of blink 182. that's illegal if you were born in '83. yeah, yeah, yeah. fuck a bean cheese burrito. fuck a bowl of cookie dough. fuck the space between the big and neighbor toe. fuck a cop, fuck a marine. fuck a jar of vaseline. fuck a calzone with pepperoni. fuck a midget, fuck a dwarf. fuck chris cringle with an elf. but before you fuck it all... go fuck yourself!


"My Vagina"

My vagina has two sets of lips
But I don't get monthly blood drips
My vagina hardly even used

My vagina's got lots of extra skin
They took my outtie and made it an in
Changing Donnie to Marie Osmond

Operation successfull
But now I gotta pee
Through a miniature hole
Gotta remember to put the seat down
And when I wipe my ass
I go from front to back
Cause I don't want a bladder infection

I never thought I'd miss my vas deferans
I traded it in for a pair of huge cans
Now I get to hang with lesbians

Operation paid up front
Now I show all my friends
My new designer cunt
They think I'm kinda weird
But that's OK with me
Cause now I kick their ass
Playing from the ladies tee
Theres nothing finer than having a vagina

Sian-of-the-dead

"No Legs" by Adam Green (granted, not to EVERYONES taste! lol no offence meant to anyone, I just think it's funny cuz it's such a nice little song with wrong, wrong lyrics)......

"there's no wrong way to fuck a girl with no legs
just tell her you love her as she's crawlin' away.
there's no wrong way to fuck a bitch with no faith.
now you'll never be sad again.

lovin' you are the two best things in a world that's skipping town.
reaching blind into the deepest mouth in the brownest place around.

there's something amiss in her cum stained lips.
so i get the first kiss before she takes the last bite.
genital outlaws in a positive way, and in everything bagel too.

getting strangeld by the junkie priest as the boys get stoned in school.
there's a knock at the door and your parents come in.
they thought you were a different girl.

so if you're alone when you're parents aren't home
and no one can see your incestuous tree.
no need to contain what the sparrows can say.
now you'll never be sad again."


........ or Dirty Frank.... Classic.

reeferchief

King Missile - Detachable Penis: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byDiILrNbM4

Primus - Wynona's Big Brown Beaver: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CetPq_pkHc

NoFx - Together on the Sand/Lori Myers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6192VZPUbTM

Bloodhound Gang - Kiss Me Where it Smells Funny: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkEHFJbTeOI

Bloodhound Gang - Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKpSganJh9s

reeferchief

Spoiler - Electrifying: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1K2N_DYPoZw

I almost forgot this one.:D

Yngwie Malmsteen's cover of Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie is a good one also, but I cant find a video for that one.:)

Oh fuck Toy Dolls How could I forget the oy Dolls?:eek::D

Yul Bryner Was A Skinhead: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKzmao49qKI
Nellie The Elephant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eti21PVHXrg
My Wife's A Psychopath: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nkny6T5tntk

IndianSummer

anything by weird al.

crazymerrie

"Megalomaniac" by Incubus

"If I met you in a sicissor fight I would cut off both your wings on principle alone"

tybird

"So What" that song Metallica covered. Some obscure English band originally wrote and recorded it.

norm

"little girls" - oingo biongo......:)

bharQ

"Into The Woods" by My Morning Jacket.......

"A kitten on fire, a baby in a blender.
Both sound as sweet as a night of surrender."

Sung so sweetly... I remember hearing that for the first time and laughing really hard