'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'
i mean most of the songs nickleback composed are fucking hilarious
Athens, Greece: 2006/09/30
"Call me Ishmael. Some years ago- never mind how long precisely- having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world." Herman Melville : Moby Dick
date rape by sublime (don't know if it's considered rock though)
i'm designer by qotsa
girls by the beastie boys (still don't know if it's rock)
a few songs by bloodhound gang
many more that I can't exactly remember right now
The funniest Tenacious D has to be either Karate ("Oh yeah, motherfucker, I'm gonna kick your fucking deriere, yeah-yeah!") or Kielbasa ("I check my dipstick, you need lubrication honey, my kielbasa sausage has just got to perform") or even Double Team. Tribute is one of their more serious songs...
And dude, don't ever mention the D******* on these boards again. Seeing their name offends my eyes. Them breaking up is possibly the best thing that ever happened in music...
If you all stop hitting refresh for just two minutes, I can buy my tickets...
The funniest Tenacious D has to be either Karate ("Oh yeah, motherfucker, I'm gonna kick your fucking deriere, yeah-yeah!") or Kielbasa ("I check my dipstick, you need lubrication honey, my kielbasa sausage has just got to perform") or even Double Team. Tribute is one of their more serious songs...
And dude, don't ever mention the D******* on these boards again. Seeing their name offends my eyes. Them breaking up is possibly the best thing that ever happened in music...
I happen to think Permission to Land is a great, funny record I'm afraid. Although I agree they were a joke which was always going to get old very quickly, GYHOMW is a very funny song.
And 'Tribute' is serious? Wow. There are probably more funny songs in their catalogue, but it depends whether you like cock humour or not; it's not my thing.
'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'
"Shockadelica" section:
The lights go out, the smell of doom
I'll bet is creeping into your lonely room
The bed's on fire, your fate is sealed
And you're so tired, and the reason is Camille-mille
Shockadelica
The girl must be a witch
She's got your mind, body, and soul hitched
Shockadelica
You need a second opinion
But she never wears a stitch
So you can't take her home, she's got you tied with a golden rope
She won't let you play your guitar
And when you've cried enough
Maybe she'll let you up
For a nasty ride in her Shockadeli-car
Gonna make you beg!
Gonna make you beg
Gonna make you spread your leg
Gonna want it, gonna get it
And you'll never regret it
[unintelligible rap]
"Alphabet Street" rap:
Talk to me lover, come on tell me what you taste
Didn't your mama tell you life is to good to waste?
Didn't she tell you that Lovesexy was the glam of them all?
If you can hang, you can trip on it
You surely won't fall
No side effects and the feeling last forever
Straight up - it tastes good
It makes you feel clever
You kiss your enemies like you know you should
Then you jerk your body like a horny pony would
You jerk your body like a horny pony would
Now run and tell your mama about that!
Let me lick your pussy, let me lick your cunt
Let me eat your body, baby, let me make you squeal and grunt
Let me show you how to please me baby
Let me show you how to tease me baby
Baby baby babe get down on your knees
Let me lick your pussy
Let me lick your pussy
Let me lick your pussy
Come on baby, I got somethin' to say
Let me lick your pussy
I wanna say I wanna lick your pussy
Let me lick your pussy
I ain't messin' around - I ain't messin' around
I'm sayin' baby
Let me lick your pussy
Let me lick your pussy
Let me lick your pussy
Oh baby, come here, let me tell you somethin'
How's your pussy baby?
Now we've all got something, you know what I mean?
You've got your pussy
Right there between your legs, baby
You know what it is, don't you? It's a pussy!
Oooh yeah!
You know what I wanna do what that pussy, baby?
You know what I wanna do?
Yeah, don't you, don't you, baby
Take it out, wanna take it to town
Make it feel good for me, bring it back to my place
Then I'm gonna...can you imagine baby?
Let me lick your pussy, oohooohooh
Let me lick your pussy, let me lick your pussy
Let me lick your pussy, oooh baby
Let me lick, let me lick, let me lick your pussy
Come here baby!
First we'll take a bath
Then I'll get my towel, baby
I'll wrap you up - I'm gonna wrap you up in my towel, baby
You know what I'm gonna do then
I just wanna say - you know baby, I could give a great massage
Oh, you can, Gener?
I say, yeah baby, I give you a massage like, like thirteen kings, baby
Oh, Gener!
I say, what you got between your legs, baby?
What does that have to do with a massage, baby?
You know, you know what I really want...it's your pussy baby
I wanna lick your pussy baby
Yeah, you know what I'm saying
You know what I'm saying
You got me going baby
Oh, you got me going like I never thought I'd go before
Shit baby! Come here! Let me lick your pussy!
Let me lick your pussy, baby
Let me lick your pussy!
I always find Several Species of Furry animals off Ummagumma by the Floyd very amusing.
Although most recently Robbie Williams Rude Box is gotta be the best example, it utterly atrocious but the lyric are so lame their hilarious.
If you thought his rapping in Rock DJ was bad Rude Box makes him sound like KRS 1 on that one.
Check these out.
head
Ok then back to baseheads dance like you just won at the special Olympics
I got the rudebox of the back of a spaceship, so sick I just had to take it
The R.U.D.E.B.O.X. up yer jacksy, split yer kecks sing a song of semtex, pocket full of durex body full of mandrex
Are we gonna have sex (yes) will you wear your knee socks (ohh) back to the rudebox
Got this double fantasy where we just never stop,
I've got one design and that's to funk you to the top
Know whats on my mind there's only one thing you will find
I got one design and that's to bump you til you drop
Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty
Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty
Ok then back to spaceship, take both pills fuck the matrix
Jack those jills shake your Playtex rock 3 stripes not the asics
A.D.I.D.A.S old school cos it's the best %u2013 yes
Tk max cost less yes
Jackson looks a mess bless
Ok then what to do
if you try to jack me ill rudebox you
if you rudebox me ill rudebox your whole crew
cos its what I do aint that right boo %u2013 true
I'll ride with you if you can get me to the border cos the sheriff's after me for what I did to his daughter
I did it like this you did it like that I love it when you double clap clap
[ Rudebox lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
Grab this double fantasy where we just never stop
I've got one design and that's to funk you to the top
Know whats on my mind there%'s only one thing you will find
I got one design and that's to bump you til you drop
Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty
Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty
Ok then check the tan line, make your body shape like you're stood on a landmine
call me on my mobile not the landline and the jack the mainline at the same time
Ok this is what we do, got a jam so fresh its nice for you
Ok give it what you got and dial 808 for the bass to drop
Ok then whats the fracas grab your cardy your lead hat and your bus pass
you don't sweat much for a fat lass grab your rudebox cos your box is righteous
Ok bum rush the show I got high speed dubbing on my stereo and all the tunes in the box are the cherrio
I know I told you before
did you hear me though
Grab this double fantasy where we just never stop
ive got one design and that's to funk you to the top
Know whats on my mind there's only one thing you will find
I got one design and that's to bump you til you drop
Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty
Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty
Do the rudebox, shake your rudebox (repeat to fade)
To think EMI shelled out millions on this shit, all his albums since the very expensive deal have been utter flops, serves your own right you corporate cock suckers!
Ex Girlfriend - The Vandals.
Don't Eat The Yellow Snow - Zappa (still)
Bobby Brown Goes Down - Frank Zappa
I'm An Asshole - Dennis Leary (if that counts, sorry)
Wynona's got herself a big brown beaver
and she shows it off to all her friends.
One day, you know, that beaver tried to leave her,
So she caged him up with cyclone fence.
Along came Lou with the old baboon
And said "Recognize that smell?"
"Smells like seven layers,
That beaver eats Taco Bell."
Now Rex was a Texan out of New Orleans
And he travelled with the carnival shows.
He ran bumper cars, sucked cheap cigars
And he candied up his nose.
He got wind of the big brown beaver
So he though he'd take himself a peek,
But the beaver was quick
And grabbed him by the kiwis.
Now he ain't pissed for a week.
(And a half!)
Now Wynona took her big brown beaver,
And she stuck him up in the air.
Said "I sure do love this big brown beaver
And I wish I did have a pair."
Now the beaver once slept for seven days
And it gave us all an awful fright.
So I tickled his chin and I gave him a pinch
And the bastard tried to bite me.
Wynona loved her big brown beaver
And she stroked him all the time.
She pricked her finger one day and it
Occurred to her she might have a porcupine.
What a cool ring tone!!!!
All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a thousand enemies, and whenever they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you, digger, listener, runner, prince with the swift warning. Be cunning and full of tricks and your people shall never be destroyed.
Sorry guys, for piss funny, it is impossible to ignore Kevin Bloody Wilson. This is teh SAnta Claus song, tehr is another ripper called "You Can't Say Cunt In Canada", and teh Festival of Light is possibly teh best of all.
Hey Santa claus you cunt!
Where's me fucking bike?
I've unwrapped all this other junk and there's nothing that I like.
I wrote you a fucking letter and I come to see you twice
Ya worn out geriatric fart, you forgot me fucking bike.
If I wanted a pair of bloody thongs, I'd have bloody asked.
And this cowboy suit and ping pong set you can shove right up your arse!
You've stuffed me bloody order up
It's enough to make you spew
And I'm not the only one who's snakey
Me sisters dirty too!
(female voice)
Hey santa clause you cunt!
Where's me fucking pram?
You promised me you'd bring me one, you remember who I am.
'Cause I'm the little girl who you made sit right on your hand
I'll give you fucking ho ho ho
You forgot me fucking pram
(male voice)
Next time I come to see ya, I'm gonna punch you in the guts
And I'll let your fucking reihndeer go and kick Rudolf in the nuts!
You just wait 'till next year, when you go to that store
And me and me little sister, come stomping through the door
And we'll say, yeah you wait for it
Hey mums and dads you smell his breath and check his bloodshot eyes
And don't listen to him boys and girls 'cause he tells fucking lies
He's just a piss tank and a pervert, and he's not even very bright
'Cause the old fucking wanker Forgot me fucking bike.
You wait you old cunt, I'm gonna dob you in
Tell me old man on you, he's gonna punch your fucking lights out
How has NoFX not gotten any love in this thread yet...
Clams have feelings too...
Birds are dumb, 'cause small bird brains
But so are kids and old people
Some birds talk, most others sing
I don't see you eat a talking bird
Pigs smell bad, they roll in poo
But so do kids and elderly
I don't see you chop off an old man's feet
Put 'em in a mason jar and pickle them
No chowder for you, 'cause clams have feelings too
Actually they don't have central nervousness
No manhatten style, clams have the right to smile
Come to think about it, they don't have a face
They have no face, no place for ears
There's no clam eyes, to cry clam tears
No spinal cord, they must get bored
Might as well just put them out of misery
I don't beleive it's selfish
To eat defenceless shellfish
No chowder for you, clams have feelings too
It could happen to you, clams have feelings too
I don't think they do, clams have feelings too
Fun Things To Fuck (If You're A Winner)"
fun things to fuck. fun things to fuck. fun things to fuck. fun things to fuck. fuck the front door, fuck the back. fuck the good girls with the knack. fuck the government until they fuck you back. fuck a muslim, fuck a jew. fuck fans of blink 182. that's illegal if you were born in '83. yeah, yeah, yeah. fuck a bean cheese burrito. fuck a bowl of cookie dough. fuck the space between the big and neighbor toe. fuck a cop, fuck a marine. fuck a jar of vaseline. fuck a calzone with pepperoni. fuck a midget, fuck a dwarf. fuck chris cringle with an elf. but before you fuck it all... go fuck yourself!
"My Vagina"
My vagina has two sets of lips
But I don't get monthly blood drips
My vagina hardly even used
My vagina's got lots of extra skin
They took my outtie and made it an in
Changing Donnie to Marie Osmond
Operation successfull
But now I gotta pee
Through a miniature hole
Gotta remember to put the seat down
And when I wipe my ass
I go from front to back
Cause I don't want a bladder infection
I never thought I'd miss my vas deferans
I traded it in for a pair of huge cans
Now I get to hang with lesbians
Operation paid up front
Now I show all my friends
My new designer cunt
They think I'm kinda weird
But that's OK with me
Cause now I kick their ass
Playing from the ladies tee
Theres nothing finer than having a vagina
"Almost unconsciously he traced with his finger in the dust on the table: 2+2=5" 1984
"No Legs" by Adam Green (granted, not to EVERYONES taste! lol no offence meant to anyone, I just think it's funny cuz it's such a nice little song with wrong, wrong lyrics)......
"there's no wrong way to fuck a girl with no legs
just tell her you love her as she's crawlin' away.
there's no wrong way to fuck a bitch with no faith.
now you'll never be sad again.
lovin' you are the two best things in a world that's skipping town.
reaching blind into the deepest mouth in the brownest place around.
there's something amiss in her cum stained lips.
so i get the first kiss before she takes the last bite.
genital outlaws in a positive way, and in everything bagel too.
getting strangeld by the junkie priest as the boys get stoned in school.
there's a knock at the door and your parents come in.
they thought you were a different girl.
so if you're alone when you're parents aren't home
and no one can see your incestuous tree.
no need to contain what the sparrows can say.
now you'll never be sad again."
........ or Dirty Frank.... Classic.
Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...
... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
"So What" that song Metallica covered. Some obscure English band originally wrote and recorded it.
All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a thousand enemies, and whenever they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you, digger, listener, runner, prince with the swift warning. Be cunning and full of tricks and your people shall never be destroyed.
Comments
The Darkness, 'Get Your Hands off my Woman'
- the great Sir Leo Harrison
i mean most of the songs nickleback composed are fucking hilarious
"Call me Ishmael. Some years ago- never mind how long precisely- having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world." Herman Melville : Moby Dick
i'm designer by qotsa
girls by the beastie boys (still don't know if it's rock)
a few songs by bloodhound gang
many more that I can't exactly remember right now
The funniest Tenacious D has to be either Karate ("Oh yeah, motherfucker, I'm gonna kick your fucking deriere, yeah-yeah!") or Kielbasa ("I check my dipstick, you need lubrication honey, my kielbasa sausage has just got to perform") or even Double Team. Tribute is one of their more serious songs...
And dude, don't ever mention the D******* on these boards again. Seeing their name offends my eyes. Them breaking up is possibly the best thing that ever happened in music...
I happen to think Permission to Land is a great, funny record I'm afraid. Although I agree they were a joke which was always going to get old very quickly, GYHOMW is a very funny song.
And 'Tribute' is serious? Wow. There are probably more funny songs in their catalogue, but it depends whether you like cock humour or not; it's not my thing.
- the great Sir Leo Harrison
Don Henley Must Die
Stuffin' Martha's Muffin
Debbie Gibson is Pregnant With My 2 Headed Love Child
Ween - L.M.L.Y.P.
Whooa, yeah, whoa, whoa, yeah
Yeah yeah yeah, ahhhhhh, whoa, whoa, yeah
"Shockadelica" section:
The lights go out, the smell of doom
I'll bet is creeping into your lonely room
The bed's on fire, your fate is sealed
And you're so tired, and the reason is Camille-mille
Shockadelica
The girl must be a witch
She's got your mind, body, and soul hitched
Shockadelica
You need a second opinion
But she never wears a stitch
So you can't take her home, she's got you tied with a golden rope
She won't let you play your guitar
And when you've cried enough
Maybe she'll let you up
For a nasty ride in her Shockadeli-car
Gonna make you beg!
Gonna make you beg
Gonna make you spread your leg
Gonna want it, gonna get it
And you'll never regret it
[unintelligible rap]
"Alphabet Street" rap:
Talk to me lover, come on tell me what you taste
Didn't your mama tell you life is to good to waste?
Didn't she tell you that Lovesexy was the glam of them all?
If you can hang, you can trip on it
You surely won't fall
No side effects and the feeling last forever
Straight up - it tastes good
It makes you feel clever
You kiss your enemies like you know you should
Then you jerk your body like a horny pony would
You jerk your body like a horny pony would
Now run and tell your mama about that!
Let me lick your pussy, let me lick your cunt
Let me eat your body, baby, let me make you squeal and grunt
Let me show you how to please me baby
Let me show you how to tease me baby
Baby baby babe get down on your knees
Let me lick your pussy
Let me lick your pussy
Let me lick your pussy
Come on baby, I got somethin' to say
Let me lick your pussy
I wanna say I wanna lick your pussy
Let me lick your pussy
I ain't messin' around - I ain't messin' around
I'm sayin' baby
Let me lick your pussy
Let me lick your pussy
Let me lick your pussy
Oh baby, come here, let me tell you somethin'
How's your pussy baby?
Now we've all got something, you know what I mean?
You've got your pussy
Right there between your legs, baby
You know what it is, don't you? It's a pussy!
Oooh yeah!
You know what I wanna do what that pussy, baby?
You know what I wanna do?
Yeah, don't you, don't you, baby
Take it out, wanna take it to town
Make it feel good for me, bring it back to my place
Then I'm gonna...can you imagine baby?
Let me lick your pussy, oohooohooh
Let me lick your pussy, let me lick your pussy
Let me lick your pussy, oooh baby
Let me lick, let me lick, let me lick your pussy
Come here baby!
First we'll take a bath
Then I'll get my towel, baby
I'll wrap you up - I'm gonna wrap you up in my towel, baby
You know what I'm gonna do then
I just wanna say - you know baby, I could give a great massage
Oh, you can, Gener?
I say, yeah baby, I give you a massage like, like thirteen kings, baby
Oh, Gener!
I say, what you got between your legs, baby?
What does that have to do with a massage, baby?
You know, you know what I really want...it's your pussy baby
I wanna lick your pussy baby
Yeah, you know what I'm saying
You know what I'm saying
You got me going baby
Oh, you got me going like I never thought I'd go before
Shit baby! Come here! Let me lick your pussy!
Let me lick your pussy, baby
Let me lick your pussy!
Take it, Deaner!
08/02/07 - LOLLA!!!
A Boy Named Sue - Johnny Cash
(search youtube)
"No Pussy Blues" - Grinderman (aka Nick Cave and a few Bad Seeds).
http://www.wishlistfoundation.org
Oh my, they dropped the leash.
Morgan Freeman/Clint Eastwood 08' for President!
"Make our day"
Although most recently Robbie Williams Rude Box is gotta be the best example, it utterly atrocious but the lyric are so lame their hilarious.
If you thought his rapping in Rock DJ was bad Rude Box makes him sound like KRS 1 on that one.
Check these out.
head
Ok then back to baseheads dance like you just won at the special Olympics
I got the rudebox of the back of a spaceship, so sick I just had to take it
The R.U.D.E.B.O.X. up yer jacksy, split yer kecks sing a song of semtex, pocket full of durex body full of mandrex
Are we gonna have sex (yes) will you wear your knee socks (ohh) back to the rudebox
Got this double fantasy where we just never stop,
I've got one design and that's to funk you to the top
Know whats on my mind there's only one thing you will find
I got one design and that's to bump you til you drop
Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty
Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty
Ok then back to spaceship, take both pills fuck the matrix
Jack those jills shake your Playtex rock 3 stripes not the asics
A.D.I.D.A.S old school cos it's the best %u2013 yes
Tk max cost less yes
Jackson looks a mess bless
Ok then what to do
if you try to jack me ill rudebox you
if you rudebox me ill rudebox your whole crew
cos its what I do aint that right boo %u2013 true
I'll ride with you if you can get me to the border cos the sheriff's after me for what I did to his daughter
I did it like this you did it like that I love it when you double clap clap
[ Rudebox lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
Grab this double fantasy where we just never stop
I've got one design and that's to funk you to the top
Know whats on my mind there%'s only one thing you will find
I got one design and that's to bump you til you drop
Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty
Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty
Ok then check the tan line, make your body shape like you're stood on a landmine
call me on my mobile not the landline and the jack the mainline at the same time
Ok this is what we do, got a jam so fresh its nice for you
Ok give it what you got and dial 808 for the bass to drop
Ok then whats the fracas grab your cardy your lead hat and your bus pass
you don't sweat much for a fat lass grab your rudebox cos your box is righteous
Ok bum rush the show I got high speed dubbing on my stereo and all the tunes in the box are the cherrio
I know I told you before
did you hear me though
Grab this double fantasy where we just never stop
ive got one design and that's to funk you to the top
Know whats on my mind there's only one thing you will find
I got one design and that's to bump you til you drop
Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty
Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty
Do the rudebox, shake your rudebox (repeat to fade)
To think EMI shelled out millions on this shit, all his albums since the very expensive deal have been utter flops, serves your own right you corporate cock suckers!
HE'S DRUNK!
NOW THEY SO FA LYIN HIGHLIN THAN BEFORE!
No idea what that last line really is but it's my favorite delivery in the entire song
http://www.wishlistfoundation.org
Oh my, they dropped the leash.
Morgan Freeman/Clint Eastwood 08' for President!
"Make our day"
Ex Girlfriend - The Vandals.
Don't Eat The Yellow Snow - Zappa (still)
Bobby Brown Goes Down - Frank Zappa
I'm An Asshole - Dennis Leary (if that counts, sorry)
...and probably Tribute too.
'Big Bottom' by Spinal Tap, also.
and maybe
"I Palindrome I" by They Might Be Giants
and
"Hot For Teacher" by Van Halen....has the line "I brought my pencil, gimme somethin' to write on," plus awesome intrumental work
we sit around and wonder exactly why our marriage should feel threatened by gay marriage
"Lady, step into my Hyundai" - kills me every single time
Hey Santa claus you cunt!
Where's me fucking bike?
I've unwrapped all this other junk and there's nothing that I like.
I wrote you a fucking letter and I come to see you twice
Ya worn out geriatric fart, you forgot me fucking bike.
If I wanted a pair of bloody thongs, I'd have bloody asked.
And this cowboy suit and ping pong set you can shove right up your arse!
You've stuffed me bloody order up
It's enough to make you spew
And I'm not the only one who's snakey
Me sisters dirty too!
(female voice)
Hey santa clause you cunt!
Where's me fucking pram?
You promised me you'd bring me one, you remember who I am.
'Cause I'm the little girl who you made sit right on your hand
I'll give you fucking ho ho ho
You forgot me fucking pram
(male voice)
Next time I come to see ya, I'm gonna punch you in the guts
And I'll let your fucking reihndeer go and kick Rudolf in the nuts!
You just wait 'till next year, when you go to that store
And me and me little sister, come stomping through the door
And we'll say, yeah you wait for it
Hey mums and dads you smell his breath and check his bloodshot eyes
And don't listen to him boys and girls 'cause he tells fucking lies
He's just a piss tank and a pervert, and he's not even very bright
'Cause the old fucking wanker Forgot me fucking bike.
You wait you old cunt, I'm gonna dob you in
Tell me old man on you, he's gonna punch your fucking lights out
"I saw mummy sucking santa clause"
Clams have feelings too...
Birds are dumb, 'cause small bird brains
But so are kids and old people
Some birds talk, most others sing
I don't see you eat a talking bird
Pigs smell bad, they roll in poo
But so do kids and elderly
I don't see you chop off an old man's feet
Put 'em in a mason jar and pickle them
No chowder for you, 'cause clams have feelings too
Actually they don't have central nervousness
No manhatten style, clams have the right to smile
Come to think about it, they don't have a face
They have no face, no place for ears
There's no clam eyes, to cry clam tears
No spinal cord, they must get bored
Might as well just put them out of misery
I don't beleive it's selfish
To eat defenceless shellfish
No chowder for you, clams have feelings too
It could happen to you, clams have feelings too
I don't think they do, clams have feelings too
Fun Things To Fuck (If You're A Winner)"
fun things to fuck. fun things to fuck. fun things to fuck. fun things to fuck. fuck the front door, fuck the back. fuck the good girls with the knack. fuck the government until they fuck you back. fuck a muslim, fuck a jew. fuck fans of blink 182. that's illegal if you were born in '83. yeah, yeah, yeah. fuck a bean cheese burrito. fuck a bowl of cookie dough. fuck the space between the big and neighbor toe. fuck a cop, fuck a marine. fuck a jar of vaseline. fuck a calzone with pepperoni. fuck a midget, fuck a dwarf. fuck chris cringle with an elf. but before you fuck it all... go fuck yourself!
"My Vagina"
My vagina has two sets of lips
But I don't get monthly blood drips
My vagina hardly even used
My vagina's got lots of extra skin
They took my outtie and made it an in
Changing Donnie to Marie Osmond
Operation successfull
But now I gotta pee
Through a miniature hole
Gotta remember to put the seat down
And when I wipe my ass
I go from front to back
Cause I don't want a bladder infection
I never thought I'd miss my vas deferans
I traded it in for a pair of huge cans
Now I get to hang with lesbians
Operation paid up front
Now I show all my friends
My new designer cunt
They think I'm kinda weird
But that's OK with me
Cause now I kick their ass
Playing from the ladies tee
Theres nothing finer than having a vagina
"there's no wrong way to fuck a girl with no legs
just tell her you love her as she's crawlin' away.
there's no wrong way to fuck a bitch with no faith.
now you'll never be sad again.
lovin' you are the two best things in a world that's skipping town.
reaching blind into the deepest mouth in the brownest place around.
there's something amiss in her cum stained lips.
so i get the first kiss before she takes the last bite.
genital outlaws in a positive way, and in everything bagel too.
getting strangeld by the junkie priest as the boys get stoned in school.
there's a knock at the door and your parents come in.
they thought you were a different girl.
so if you're alone when you're parents aren't home
and no one can see your incestuous tree.
no need to contain what the sparrows can say.
now you'll never be sad again."
........ or Dirty Frank.... Classic.
... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
Primus - Wynona's Big Brown Beaver: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CetPq_pkHc
NoFx - Together on the Sand/Lori Myers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6192VZPUbTM
Bloodhound Gang - Kiss Me Where it Smells Funny: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkEHFJbTeOI
Bloodhound Gang - Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKpSganJh9s
I almost forgot this one.:D
Yngwie Malmsteen's cover of Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie is a good one also, but I cant find a video for that one.:)
Oh fuck Toy Dolls How could I forget the oy Dolls?:eek::D
Yul Bryner Was A Skinhead: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKzmao49qKI
Nellie The Elephant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eti21PVHXrg
My Wife's A Psychopath: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nkny6T5tntk
Take my hand, my child of love
Come step inside my tears
Swim the magic ocean,
I've been crying all these years
"If I met you in a sicissor fight I would cut off both your wings on principle alone"
"A kitten on fire, a baby in a blender.
Both sound as sweet as a night of surrender."
Sung so sweetly... I remember hearing that for the first time and laughing really hard
08/02/07 - LOLLA!!!