funniest songs in rock

245

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  • zircona1
    zircona1 Posts: 293
    The Stroke - Billy Squier

    Stroke!
    Stroke!
    Stroke!
    "As long as the music's loud enough, we won't hear the world falling apart."—Jubilee

    "I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions." - George Carlin
  • illfated
    illfated Posts: 65
    DREAD ZEPPELIN - Watch the whole thing.
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=16LI4TUucW4
  • Byrnzie
    Byrnzie Posts: 21,037
    'Elvis is everywhere' by Mojo Nixon

    When I look out into your eyes out there,
    When I look out into your faces,
    You know what I see?
    I see a little bit of Elvis
    In each and every one of you out there.

    Lemme tell ya...
    Weeeeeeeeeellllllll...

    Elvis is everywhere
    Elvis is everything
    Elvis is everybody
    Elvis is still the king

    Man o man
    What I want you to see
    Is that the big E's
    Inside of you and me

    Elvis is everywhere, man!
    He's in everything.
    He's in everybody...

    Elvis is in your jeans.
    He's in your cheesburgers
    Elvis is in Nutty Buddies!
    Elvis is in your mom!

    He's in everybody.
    He's in the young, the old,
    the fat, the skinny,
    the white, the black
    the brown and the blue
    people got Elvis in 'em too

    Elvis is in everybody out there.
    Everybody's got Elvis in them!
    Everybody except one person that is...
    Yeah, one person!
    The evil opposite of Elvis.
    The Anti-Elvis

    Anti-Elvis got no Elvis in 'em,
    lemme tell ya.

    Michael J. Fox has no Elvis in him.

    And Elvis is in Joan Rivers
    but he's trying to get out, man!
    He's trying to get out!
    Listen up Joanie Baby!

    Elvis is everywhere
    Elvis is everything
    Elvis is everybody
    Elvis is still the king

    Man o man
    What I want you to see
    Is that the big E's
    Inside of you and me

    Man, there's a lot of unexplained phenomenon
    out there in the world.
    Lot of things people say
    What the heck's going on?

    Let me tell ya!

    Who built the pyramids?
    ELVIS!
    Who built Stonehenge?
    ELVIS!

    Yeah, man you see guys
    walking down the street
    pushing shopping carts
    and you think they're talking to allah,
    they're talking to themself.
    Man, no they're talking to ELVIS!
    ELVIS! ELVIS!

    You know whats going on in that Bermuda Triangle?
    Down in the Bermuda Traingle
    Elvis needs boats.
    Elvis needs boats.
    Elvis Elvis Elvis
    Elvis Elvis Elvis
    Elvis needs boats.

    Aahh! The Sailing Elvis!
    Captain Elvis!
    Commodore Elvis it is.

    Yeah man, you know people from outer space,
    people from outer space they come up to me.
    They don't look like like Doctor Spock.
    They don't look like Klingons,
    all that Star Trek jive.

    They look like Elvis.
    ELVIS!
    Everybody in outer space looks like Elvis.
    Cause Elvis is a perfect being.
    We are all moving in perfect peace and harmony towards Elvisness

    Soon all will become Elvis.
    Everything everywhere will be Elvis.
    Why do you think they call it evolution anyway?
    It's really Elvislution!
    Elvislution!

    Elvis is everywhere
    Elvis is everything
    Elvis is everybody
    Elvis is still the king

    Man o man
    What I want you to see
    Is that the big E's
    Inside of you and me

    That's right ladies and gentlemen,
    The time has come!
    Time has come to talk
    To that little bit of Elvis inside of you.

    Talk to it!
    Call it up!
    Say "Elvis, heal me!"
    "Save me, Elvis!"
    "Make me be born again
    in the perfect Elvis light"

    That's right!
    You've got that Elvis inside of ya
    and he's talkin to ya
    He says he wants you to sing!
    Everybody's got to sing like the king!

    Like the king
    Get that leg going now
    Get your lip too.
    Not no fool Billy Idol lip either
    Everybody!
    Yeah, we're rockin now!

    Elvis is with us.
    He's with us and he's speaking to us.
    He says "Peoples!"
    "Peoples!"
    "Everybody!"
    "Everybody got to sing!"

    Elvis is everywhere
    Elvis is everything
    Elvis is everybody
    Elvis is still the king

    Man o man
    What I want you to see
    Is that the big E's
    Inside of you and me

    Elvis is everywhere
    Elvis is everything
    Elvis is everybody
    Elvis is still the king

    Man o man
    What I want you to see
    Is that the big E's
    Inside of you and me

    Elvis!
  • Larry Zisstans
    Larry Zisstans Posts: 167
    keller williams - 'novelty song'

    Intro:
    I'm gonna do just one more song and then I'm gonna go in the back and take a real short break. And hopefully you'll take a break too and then you'll come back and you'll sit back down and I got more instruments to play as you can see behind me so, I know it's a school night and it's a work day and all that and you probably want to go home and if you do I understand. I'm probably the same way when I got to a show too, but if you're not, please hang out with me.

    This is a novelty song
    It's the kind of song that means absolutely nothing at all.
    Please take my advice; tune out the words
    And focus on the bass

    It's a really bad, ignorant song
    And you know, probably should have never seen the light of day at all, but it did
    May I suggest go check out the t-shirts and CDs
    Or just focus on the bass

    While I play my novelty song
    Y'all will probably shout out the names of other songs
    In hope that I will stop what I am doing and play but I won't
    Because I'm focusing on the bass

    It's not a song that the label will push
    The radio it speaks to me and tells me that it's mush
    And it tells me to go back, go back into the woods and so I do
    And I focus on the bass

    When is it going to end is what you're thinking
    Don't you hate the way that I get up inside your head?
    And sing about all them things that you're thinking
    Well I can do this because I focus on the bass

    So while you ask, does it continue to go on?
    Sounds like you're making it up as you go along
    Well because I did and I should probably give more of a shit, but I don't
    So I focus on the bass

    I don't care it was a novelty song
    But don't you wish you listened when I said tune out the words, but you didn't
    And now we've gotten this far
    Simply because we've focused on the bass

    So if there is a next time you come to my show
    And you hear me start this song and then
    You will surely know not to listen to the words
    And focus on the bass
    The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. The ride goes up and down, around and around, it has thrills and chills, and it's very brightly colored, and it's very loud, and it's fun for a while. Many people have been on the ride a long time, and they begin to wonder, "Hey, is this real, or is this just a ride?" And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and say, "Hey, don't worry; don't be afraid, ever. Because this is just a ride." And we...kill those people. "Shut him up! I've got a lot invested in this ride, shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real." It's just a ride. But we always kill the good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok? But it doesn't matter, because it's just a ride. And we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings of money. Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one. Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defenses each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace.
    --Bill Hicks
  • Stephen Flow
    Stephen Flow Posts: 3,327
    They're Coming To Take Me Away, Ha-haaa by Napoleon XIV

    maybe more annoying than funny...
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    presidents of the united states of america
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    illfated wrote:
    DREAD ZEPPELIN - Watch the whole thing.
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=16LI4TUucW4


    i know those dudes!!!!.....from where i grew up....:)
  • moeaholic
    moeaholic Posts: 535
    tybird wrote:
    Wynona's Big Brown Beaver by Primus

    that's my ringtone.


    Wynona's got herself a big brown beaver
    and she shows it off to all her friends.
    One day, you know, that beaver tried to leave her,
    So she caged him up with cyclone fence.
    Along came Lou with the old baboon
    And said "Recognize that smell?"
    "Smells like seven layers,
    That beaver eats Taco Bell."
    Now Rex was a Texan out of New Orleans
    And he travelled with the carnival shows.
    He ran bumper cars, sucked cheap cigars
    And he candied up his nose.
    He got wind of the big brown beaver
    So he though he'd take himself a peek,
    But the beaver was quick
    And grabbed him by the kiwis.
    Now he ain't pissed for a week.
    (And a half!)
    Now Wynona took her big brown beaver,
    And she stuck him up in the air.
    Said "I sure do love this big brown beaver
    And I wish I did have a pair."
    Now the beaver once slept for seven days
    And it gave us all an awful fright.
    So I tickled his chin and I gave him a pinch
    And the bastard tried to bite me.
    Wynona loved her big brown beaver
    And she stroked him all the time.
    She pricked her finger one day and it
    Occurred to her she might have a porcupine.
    "PC Load Letter?! What the fuck does that mean?"
    ~Michael Bolton
  • r2g2
    r2g2 Posts: 66
    Detachable Penis- King Missile


    Quality!!!
    I said Yeaaaaaaah!
  • gleemonex
    gleemonex Posts: 848
    Presidents of the USA - We Are Not Going To Make It

    We're not gonna make it
    Oh, no!
    We're not gonna make it

    Cause there's a million better bands
    with a million better songs
    Singers who can drum
    Singers who can sing

    Deep in my heart,
    I do believe
    We're not gonna make it
    Oh, no!
    We're not gonna make it

    Cause we don't have the talent
    And we don't have the time
    We don't have the patience
    And we don't know how to rhyme

    No, no, no
    We're not gonna make it!
    “Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies — ‘God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.’” - Kurt Vonnegut
  • harmless_little_f***
    harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    Tenacious D, 'Tribute'

    The Darkness, 'Get Your Hands off my Woman'
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • glasshouse
    glasshouse Posts: 1,762
    depends what your definition of funny is:

    i mean most of the songs nickleback composed are fucking hilarious
    Athens, Greece: 2006/09/30

    "Call me Ishmael. Some years ago- never mind how long precisely- having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world." Herman Melville : Moby Dick
  • Kann
    Kann Posts: 1,146
    date rape by sublime (don't know if it's considered rock though)
    i'm designer by qotsa
    girls by the beastie boys (still don't know if it's rock)
    a few songs by bloodhound gang
    many more that I can't exactly remember right now
  • bestsane
    bestsane Posts: 131
    The Offspring - When You're In Prison
  • pdh1978
    pdh1978 Posts: 211
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    Tenacious D, 'Tribute'

    The Darkness, 'Get Your Hands off my Woman'

    The funniest Tenacious D has to be either Karate ("Oh yeah, motherfucker, I'm gonna kick your fucking deriere, yeah-yeah!") or Kielbasa ("I check my dipstick, you need lubrication honey, my kielbasa sausage has just got to perform") or even Double Team. Tribute is one of their more serious songs...

    And dude, don't ever mention the D******* on these boards again. Seeing their name offends my eyes. Them breaking up is possibly the best thing that ever happened in music...
    If you all stop hitting refresh for just two minutes, I can buy my tickets...
  • harmless_little_f***
    harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    pdh1978 wrote:
    The funniest Tenacious D has to be either Karate ("Oh yeah, motherfucker, I'm gonna kick your fucking deriere, yeah-yeah!") or Kielbasa ("I check my dipstick, you need lubrication honey, my kielbasa sausage has just got to perform") or even Double Team. Tribute is one of their more serious songs...

    And dude, don't ever mention the D******* on these boards again. Seeing their name offends my eyes. Them breaking up is possibly the best thing that ever happened in music...

    I happen to think Permission to Land is a great, funny record I'm afraid. Although I agree they were a joke which was always going to get old very quickly, GYHOMW is a very funny song. :)

    And 'Tribute' is serious? Wow. There are probably more funny songs in their catalogue, but it depends whether you like cock humour or not; it's not my thing.
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • Poncier
    Poncier Posts: 17,889
    And then there's Mojo Nixon

    Don Henley Must Die
    Stuffin' Martha's Muffin
    Debbie Gibson is Pregnant With My 2 Headed Love Child
    This weekend we rock Portland
  • rcs
    rcs Posts: 711
    Rock 'n Roll McDonalds - Wesley Willis
    E agora? Faz xixi na mão e deita fora!
  • bharQ
    bharQ Posts: 1,201
    dont even get me started with the briliance that is Ween... :D

    Ween - L.M.L.Y.P.

    Whooa, yeah, whoa, whoa, yeah
    Yeah yeah yeah, ahhhhhh, whoa, whoa, yeah

    "Shockadelica" section:
    The lights go out, the smell of doom
    I'll bet is creeping into your lonely room
    The bed's on fire, your fate is sealed
    And you're so tired, and the reason is Camille-mille
    Shockadelica
    The girl must be a witch
    She's got your mind, body, and soul hitched
    Shockadelica
    You need a second opinion
    But she never wears a stitch
    So you can't take her home, she's got you tied with a golden rope
    She won't let you play your guitar
    And when you've cried enough
    Maybe she'll let you up
    For a nasty ride in her Shockadeli-car
    Gonna make you beg!

    Gonna make you beg
    Gonna make you spread your leg
    Gonna want it, gonna get it
    And you'll never regret it

    [unintelligible rap]

    "Alphabet Street" rap:
    Talk to me lover, come on tell me what you taste
    Didn't your mama tell you life is to good to waste?
    Didn't she tell you that Lovesexy was the glam of them all?
    If you can hang, you can trip on it
    You surely won't fall
    No side effects and the feeling last forever
    Straight up - it tastes good
    It makes you feel clever
    You kiss your enemies like you know you should
    Then you jerk your body like a horny pony would
    You jerk your body like a horny pony would
    Now run and tell your mama about that!

    Let me lick your pussy, let me lick your cunt
    Let me eat your body, baby, let me make you squeal and grunt
    Let me show you how to please me baby
    Let me show you how to tease me baby
    Baby baby babe get down on your knees
    Let me lick your pussy
    Let me lick your pussy
    Let me lick your pussy

    Come on baby, I got somethin' to say
    Let me lick your pussy
    I wanna say I wanna lick your pussy
    Let me lick your pussy
    I ain't messin' around - I ain't messin' around
    I'm sayin' baby
    Let me lick your pussy
    Let me lick your pussy
    Let me lick your pussy

    Oh baby, come here, let me tell you somethin'
    How's your pussy baby?
    Now we've all got something, you know what I mean?
    You've got your pussy
    Right there between your legs, baby
    You know what it is, don't you? It's a pussy!
    Oooh yeah!
    You know what I wanna do what that pussy, baby?
    You know what I wanna do?
    Yeah, don't you, don't you, baby
    Take it out, wanna take it to town
    Make it feel good for me, bring it back to my place
    Then I'm gonna...can you imagine baby?
    Let me lick your pussy, oohooohooh
    Let me lick your pussy, let me lick your pussy
    Let me lick your pussy, oooh baby
    Let me lick, let me lick, let me lick your pussy
    Come here baby!

    First we'll take a bath
    Then I'll get my towel, baby
    I'll wrap you up - I'm gonna wrap you up in my towel, baby
    You know what I'm gonna do then
    I just wanna say - you know baby, I could give a great massage
    Oh, you can, Gener?
    I say, yeah baby, I give you a massage like, like thirteen kings, baby
    Oh, Gener!
    I say, what you got between your legs, baby?
    What does that have to do with a massage, baby?
    You know, you know what I really want...it's your pussy baby
    I wanna lick your pussy baby
    Yeah, you know what I'm saying
    You know what I'm saying
    You got me going baby
    Oh, you got me going like I never thought I'd go before
    Shit baby! Come here! Let me lick your pussy!
    Let me lick your pussy, baby
    Let me lick your pussy!

    Take it, Deaner!
    09/04/05 - Calgary, AB
    08/02/07 - LOLLA!!!
  • You'veGotRedOnYou
    You'veGotRedOnYou Posts: 133
    Anything by Stephen Lynch
    "Strangers passing in the street, by chance two seperate glances meet, and I am you and what I see is me."

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