PJ fans in 12 step Recovery

lastexitlondon

I'm good at helping. Too much mostly run the well dry. 
I don't think I've ever been able to soothe myself if you know what I mean. 
And I need to stop looking for something or someone to help.
Comes from a traumatic childhood I've learned that much and see it more and more. 
No point being sad about what happened and why but I wonder what it will take to be at peace, I lose hope for sure. 

Spunkie

Thanks run pretty fairly smoothly in my life year after year but we hit a little bump this year that's for sure. I forgot how to deal practically. 

HughFreakingDillon

Day 1?

lastexitlondon

Give it go is all you can do. The first 2 weeks I found hardest. After that filling my time helped

HughFreakingDillon

lastexitlondon said:

Give it go is all you can do. The first 2 weeks I found hardest. After that filling my time helped

I convinced myself a couple years ago that successfully completing Sober October meant I had control and didn’t have a problem. 

I honestly found it quite easy. But a therapist later told me that some drinkers can “white knuckle it” knowing there’s a payoff at the end of the period. 

I’m a weekend warrior. I had also convinced myself (I see a pattern) thst since I’m not your “movie drunk” getting loaded on a Tuesday and beating my wife, that there was no problem. But then I get obliterated on the weekends. Again, just while watching tv or movies or listening to music, no anger/emotional outburts/etc. But a 40oz of whiskey every weekend is a bit much. And it used to be 26oz. I had to increase it when I’d run out too early on the Saturday night.   

Beer literally has almost zero affect on me now.  But I still love the taste. This isn’t me making excuses. I have tried every single near beer in Winnipeg’s market: all fucking terrible. If I could find a 0% craft beer, I’d be golden. 

I know there’s never a good time to quit. I’m not 100% today is the day.  Ut I’ll take it one at a time. All I know is, this past week I haven’t gone crazy, but I still feel like ass just having a little alcohol several days in a row. 

lastexitlondon

I guess one day at a time if you want to. 
That's all I thought. I'm done with drinking being fat and having stomach acid and issues and I can stop that by not drinking. 
So I decided I really actually don't want drink. That way it's easier if you reach the stage where you just don't want all that comes with it.

mickeyrat

HughFreakingDillon said:

lastexitlondon said:

Give it go is all you can do. The first 2 weeks I found hardest. After that filling my time helped

I convinced myself a couple years ago that successfully completing Sober October meant I had control and didn’t have a problem. 

I honestly found it quite easy. But a therapist later told me that some drinkers can “white knuckle it” knowing there’s a payoff at the end of the period. 

I’m a weekend warrior. I had also convinced myself (I see a pattern) thst since I’m not your “movie drunk” getting loaded on a Tuesday and beating my wife, that there was no problem. But then I get obliterated on the weekends. Again, just while watching tv or movies or listening to music, no anger/emotional outburts/etc. But a 40oz of whiskey every weekend is a bit much. And it used to be 26oz. I had to increase it when I’d run out too early on the Saturday night.   

Beer literally has almost zero affect on me now.  But I still love the taste. This isn’t me making excuses. I have tried every single near beer in Winnipeg’s market: all fucking terrible. If I could find a 0% craft beer, I’d be golden. 

I know there’s never a good time to quit. I’m not 100% today is the day.  Ut I’ll take it one at a time. All I know is, this past week I haven’t gone crazy, but I still feel like ass just having a little alcohol several days in a row. 

thats just it hugh. its not forever. its not til next week. just do today.  this 24 hrs. then make the same decision tomorrow..

same goes for you Rob. Any of the emotions become to hard to bear, reach out to a willing ear and spill.

mickeyrat

The Guest House


This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.


— Jellaludin Rumi,

Spunkie

Thanks, Mickey! HNY!!!

 

lastexitlondon

Great words

mickeyrat

Spunkie said:

Thanks, Mickey! HNY!!!

 

HNY yourself.

Adventure awaits......

mickeyrat

I have been on a philosophy kick of late. the truth I'm finding I hope sinks in deep. That I can incorporate the lessons into daily living without having to think about it.

Stoics, Jung, Buddhism,  Native American , certain music , whatever furthers my elevating humanity .

aspiring to anyway.

Spunkie

What's the point?

"The point is to grow along spiritual lines."

lastexitlondon

6 months down the road.

Spunkie

That makes me smile ^.
Tip of the hat to you

mickeyrat

good for you rob. no easy feat to be sure.

lastexitlondon

Thank you. 
I've learned a bit .
Nothing major but I know more than I did

Poncier

lastexitlondon said:

6 months down the road.

Well done.
I'm sure it wasn't easy some days, but in the long run worth it.

lastexitlondon

Thank you. 
It's brought to light my actual issues .
Which i understood before but it's just now I must live every minute of the issues. It's ok.
It is what it is. I have no compulsion to drink at all.

HughFreakingDillon

Shit’s getting worse. I need to stop.