PJ fans in 12 step Recovery

Wobbie

mickeyrat said:

@wobbie ,

how was this first for you?

um....well.....er.....uh.....

my quest for sobriety has not been 100%. it was for maybe the first 50 days or so. since then, I have drank on very infrequent occasions. I have NOT gotten shitfaced drunk or wasted any complete days due to hangovers. when I have drank, I’ve been very conscious to “pace myself” and stop before I reach the “point of no return.”

I have not been perfect but I know I have made a positive change and I’m happy with myself. whether my future is as a total abstainer or a “responsible” drinker, time will tell... 

mickeyrat

Wobbie said:

mickeyrat said:

@wobbie ,

how was this first for you?

um....well.....er.....uh.....

my quest for sobriety has not been 100%. it was for maybe the first 50 days or so. since then, I have drank on very infrequent occasions. I have NOT gotten shitfaced drunk or wasted any complete days due to hangovers. when I have drank, I’ve been very conscious to “pace myself” and stop before I reach the “point of no return.”

I have not been perfect but I know I have made a positive change and I’m happy with myself. whether my future is as a total abstainer or a “responsible” drinker, time will tell... 

whats important here is you recognized where alcohol has been a problem for you and sought to address it.  if that means a significant break to stop the habitual nature of when and how you drink then its a success. just be aware when it may bleed back into your old "normal" and that awareness may occur after the fact.

if you find you have slipped back into frequency/quanity it may show you should probably abstain.

in either case your presence is still welcome here to help keep you on the more social end of partaking......

Wobbie

^^^^ You are spot on. it was the habitual/frequecy/quantity that had to change....and it has.

as the mantra goes, “one day at a time.”

lastexitlondon

Im on day 20 and its  very hard

mickeyrat

I will suggest if you cant get to any support meetings such as AA in person, you explore that online. For real. Immensely helpful to me.

Just do not be turned off by god talk. 99 times out of 100 its not religious in intent. you get to chose your own conception of what "god" means for you.

lastexitlondon

Friday's  i go to a meeting but it seems to be full  of people still using and from what i see are not even trying. Its not AA. But  a place called spectrum.  
I like wobbie wasn't  in any trouble from drink  or drinking  volumes. 
But it was a habit and too frequent.
I will continue  like this see what happens. 
There is no way i could do AA. I have no god or even a concept of any higher being whatsoever.
I do have a strong  will and what i have learned already is  drink is poison i want to be free of any poison.

mickeyrat

lastexitlondon said:

Friday's  i go to a meeting but it seems to be full  of people still using and from what i see are not even trying. Its not AA. But  a place called spectrum.  
I like wobbie wasn't  in any trouble from drink  or drinking  volumes. 
But it was a habit and too frequent.
I will continue  like this see what happens. 
There is no way i could do AA. I have no god or even a concept of any higher being whatsoever.
I do have a strong  will and what i have learned already is  drink is poison i want to be free of any poison.

and you dont have to have a godlike higher power. the group or the program can be that in itself.....

oftenreading

lastexitlondon said:

Friday's  i go to a meeting but it seems to be full  of people still using and from what i see are not even trying. Its not AA. But  a place called spectrum.  
I like wobbie wasn't  in any trouble from drink  or drinking  volumes. 
But it was a habit and too frequent.
I will continue  like this see what happens. 
There is no way i could do AA. I have no god or even a concept of any higher being whatsoever.
I do have a strong  will and what i have learned already is  drink is poison i want to be free of any poison.

I don’t want to push you into something you don’t want to do, but could you consider Nature your higher power? You’ve posted about your allotment many times - it seems like it’s a source of strength and comfort for you. 

lastexitlondon

Yes i like my allotment  but  its only a hobby

mickeyrat

Well for me the universe is a power greater than myself. And I now know I have a firm place in it. That wasnt always the case.

lastexitlondon

Interesting.  Im not saying  it doesn't  work or anything.  Why didn't  you think you had a place in the universe?

Hobbes

For a secular and science-based approach, may I suggest Smart Recovery.

https://www.smartrecovery.org/

Approach, principles, and methods:

https://www.smartrecovery.org/about-us/

mickeyrat

lastexitlondon said:

Interesting.  Im not saying  it doesn't  work or anything.  Why didn't  you think you had a place in the universe?

irrational feeling that it was so.....

abject lonliness is a motherfucker

hedonist

Last week, I went to a smallish family gathering.  Everyone was drinking wine, no big deal for me.  Woohoo!

(I did have an edible beforehand.)

During the evening, my mom came up to me with a glass of red in her hand, and leaned in to say something.

I got a whiff of that wine - so distinctive! - and it brought back such a flood of memories and associations.  It continually surprises and amazes me, how powerful the olfactory sense is on the mind and recollections.  It was just this...whoosh of emotions.  And it was alright.

Rob, congratulations on over a month (?) now without alcohol.

And Wob, best of luck tomorrow.  I told my husband that Super Bowl Sunday must be the largest annual ingestion of beer

hedonist

My husband's getting ready for work and there's an old Seinfeld on - "The Red Dot".  Jerry goes into talking about being on and off the wagon, and we decided that whether off or on, that goddamn wagon is always there.

You may be like the dog in Vacation, tied to it and dragged along, or keep huffing away to keep up with it.  But you're still bound to it.

For life.

Thank goodness we can laugh about this shit.

HughFreakingDillon

the drummer of the Tea Party does this thing every year, a cleanse, the 90 day sobriety challenge. he usually does this leading up to a tour, so he can get in shape. He usually adds a running regimen along with it. I decided to hop on the train, so I'm at day 5. No big deal, right? well yesterday I found out my 13 year old daughter has a boyfriend and they were texting about pornhub. 

JFC. I sure could have used a few Crown Royals last night. MFer. 

lastexitlondon

Man im at 2 months and that is a pressure situation. Well done

mickeyrat

in Canada for our twice yearly retreat/conference up here. RIGHT on Lake Erie at Holy Family Retreat House

https://hfrh.ca

deadendp

^^ Are you freezing to death up there?  NEO is a bit chilly. 

mickeyrat

30. was colder at home.  very windy on the ride up.