Cancer, and me.

F Me In The Brain

mickeyrat said:

channeling Chadwick....

this is a real kick in balls, full of shit and piss.

yes/no?

She would say "yes" for sure, Mickey.  She loved Chad's spirit....there is no way for us to un-chop wood like that.  If there is a beyond I'd like to think they've shared a few laughs, already.

eeriepadave

oftenreading said:

I am really sorry to have to let everyone know that Hedo died this afternoon with her husband Dan, the love of her life, by her side. 

Dan and I had a conversation this morning and he asked if I would be willing to let everyone here know when the time came, as he is not on the forum. I agreed but I had no idea that it would be so soon. 

People may wish to make a donation to an animal shelter or pit bull rescue in Hedo's name, if you want to honour her in that way.

Listen to some Puscifer this evening and think about our amazing, funny, fierce, and loyal Hedo. Goodbye for now. 

Never commented on this thread. just browse through every now and again. I saw GlowGirl post something in the kitty thread about hedo and saw this.

:sad: thoughts are with her and loved ones. Will think of her when i come across a Pusicfer song

eeriepadave

oftenreading said:

This morning I received a request from Dan to post this on his behalf. With tears, here are Dan's words about Hedo. 

My dearest Melina. We met by chance in 1998 when you joined the Synergy message board to learn more about the band Pearl Jam.  (I wish I had kept all our posts and direct messages.) We quickly became the best of friends, each day looking forward to the other's posts.  What intriguing story or humorous post is waiting for us.  You had a true talent with words and it matched up perfectly with me.

We went on to share our life story with each other, and quickly that our future would be together, even though we were 2500 miles apart.

This was just the first time you saved my life.  I was in a miserable place and had resigned myself to the fact that I would be alone the rest of my life.  You always said that was your mindset, too.  Two souls who had given up on relationships, came together.

We then spent thousands of dollars on long distance calls, using every form of media to talk to each other... leading to me and you finally meeting and spending our first 2 weeks together.

In those two weeks I learned what a soulmate was and that I had now found mine.  In those two weeks, we knew there was no going back... We knew this was our future together.

It took us until 9/11/2001 to realize we needed to make this happen sooner rather than later.  Nothing was going to stop us from being together, so I packed everything I owned into the back of my truck, quit my job and headed to LA, headed to my soulmate.

We spent the next 20 years loving and taking care of each other.  You went on to save my life multiple times.  When I was out of work and thinking this city beat me, you supported me and kept me pushing.  When I fell ill and was just hours away from dying.  Whenever I was down, you and your beautiful smile were always there to comfort me.

You met my mother in 2008, and you knew just how much she was a part of me.  She saw how happy you made me, she saw that my family was complete, now with you.

A little over 2 years later, my mother, who had many health issues, passed away.  But to this day, I don't think she would have left if she didn't know her children were in good hands.

That was a tough loss, but with you by my side I was able to pick myself up and move on.

The struggles never ceased.  But through them all we leaned on each other.  We made a great team, and whatever we wanted to do, we accomplished it.

My dearest Melina, we are one!  Every single day that I stay here waiting to be reunited with you, I will cherish our memories.  I will never forget what we did and how we did it.

You are the most beautiful, the most sincere, the most loving and caring person in the whole world!  I will forever love you with all my heart!

Thank you for all of that, every minute that you gave to me.  Thank you, my love!  Your smile makes me happy!

wow, powerful! Definitely got teary eyed reading this.

josevolution

Oh man I’m at a loss for words, you are one of my favorite peeps on here I’m totally saddened by this news! 

josevolution

This really sucks so bad! 

tempo_n_groove

I clicked on this just last week so I thought she'd be around a while more.

RIP Hedo.

This sucks.  Condolences and a hug to Dan.

OffSheGoes35

Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us, Melina. 

Fifthelement

I thought we had more time. 

Her compassion, kindness, and wit have been so generously shared with us all over the years. Thank you. You will be missed more than you can imagine.

Sending my deepest condolences to Dan, her family and friends. The board won’t be the same without her.

lastexitlondon

Lovely words. I agree,she always had truth and honesty  and wit.  I for one will miss her kind words when i needed them.

what dreams

A class act. We should all aspire to be as kind and compassionate as hedo. 

 I have reduced my role on this forum to the occasional lurker, and I only came here today to check on hedo. When I was more active, she reached out to me privately a couple times on her own to encourage me to keep speaking out in spite of the asshole comments piled up against me, as I usually presented an alternative point of view or probing questions. She did not have to do that. She doesn't know me from Adam, as they say. But she cared always that people express themselves truthfully, and didn't tolerate rudeness or personal attacks. She was humble and never pretended to have all the correct answers to our most complex problems. She lived her life on here with curiosity and humor and a willingness to learn from others. She was not obsessed with being right all the time, or proving her superior opinions. She never responded with anything less than honesty about her own limitations as a human being, right up to accepting the really shitty hand she had been dealt with cancer at the end.

My condolences to her husband and the rest of her family. It will be a long road to normal again. I pray for their strength to get them through the darkest days ahead. 

deadendp

It was too far down on the page. ☹️

PJ_Soul

oftenreading said:

I am really sorry to have to let everyone know that Hedo died this afternoon with her husband Dan, the love of her life, by her side. 

Dan and I had a conversation this morning and he asked if I would be willing to let everyone here know when the time came, as he is not on the forum. I agreed but I had no idea that it would be so soon. 

People may wish to make a donation to an animal shelter or pit bull rescue in Hedo's name, if you want to honour her in that way.

Listen to some Puscifer this evening and think about our amazing, funny, fierce, and loyal Hedo. Goodbye for now. 

This is heartbreaking. I dropped in to check and see how she was doing and offer my well wishes. To find this news... I'm so sad. Hedo was a good one. The grace that she displayed here through her illness (and before that) was stunning. I know she'll be sorely grieved and missed by Dan and all her loved ones, and I grieve for you. She'll also be missed by those of us here who got to share a little bit of her life with her, which shows what a lovely woman she was. RIP Hedo.

Merkin Baller

https://youtu.be/qtZJiQSmJ9g

Spunkie

^ Thanks, Merk! I wondered what the hell she was talking about. 

I'm grateful E and the Ethings got me to Vegas where I road tripped to the canyon the day after the show!

Hedo: Sharing the light from the beyond! How damn fitting, these, her last mortal conjurings! Standing on the edge of Forever.

Purple Fairy Tree

Hedo helped me quit smoking after reading her postings on here. I never told her. 

tempo_n_groove

Keeping this page on top for Hedo.

Gern Blansten

hedonist said:

Hey all, letting you know that I’ll be out of the hospital shortly and going home to hospice care. Just buying time now but no more treatment for the cancer itself. 

It’s been a true pleasure knowing you all and I really appreciate all you’ve done to boost me up when I needed it. Thank you 🙂

I can't believe I didn't see this before. I've been on here a lot but busy at work.

What a warrior. I can't imagine having to deal with what she's gone through and give my best wishes. Rest in peace Hedonist.

Gern Blansten

oftenreading said:

I am really sorry to have to let everyone know that Hedo died this afternoon with her husband Dan, the love of her life, by her side. 

Dan and I had a conversation this morning and he asked if I would be willing to let everyone here know when the time came, as he is not on the forum. I agreed but I had no idea that it would be so soon. 

People may wish to make a donation to an animal shelter or pit bull rescue in Hedo's name, if you want to honour her in that way.

Listen to some Puscifer this evening and think about our amazing, funny, fierce, and loyal Hedo. Goodbye for now. 

I'm going to see Puscifer in a few weeks....I'll be thinking of her for sure

Merkin Baller

West Coast Dreamgirl said:

Hedo helped me quit smoking after reading her postings on here. I never told her. 

Congrats. Quitting smoking was one of the hardest things I've ever done. If this is a recent thing for you, I can tell you from experience, the urge lessens over time. It never 100% goes away, but it's pretty damn rare when I get the urge anymore.

Hang in there. 

tempo_n_groove

Merkin Baller said:

West Coast Dreamgirl said:

Hedo helped me quit smoking after reading her postings on here. I never told her. 

Congrats. Quitting smoking was one of the hardest things I've ever done. If this is a recent thing for you, I can tell you from experience, the urge lessens over time. It never 100% goes away, but it's pretty damn rare when I get the urge anymore.

Hang in there. 

My smoking urge is all gone now.  Smelling cigarette smoke actually makes me ill now.

I've quit for 12 years.

And yes, Congrats on quitting.