Edit: I'm trying to be more respectful and mindful of others since the thread is a little more on the serious side. My life has went through some big changes the past few years. I have more time to interact on social media than I ever have before. I've tried out a few different forums. Maybe because this one is the first, and I've been coming and going for the past decade, I feel more comfortable here than I have anywhere else.
I was painfully shy, sensitive and nervous when I first signed up here. There's no Pearl Jam fans in my area for me to relate to, so it's an isolated "real life" experience. As I've gotten older, my social circle has become smaller. Sometimes I just like to have fun. Sometimes I want to have a serious conversation. I've come to the realization of how insignificant I really am in the grand scheme of things. This has helped me in a lot of ways, but it sometimes also makes me feel invisible. I'm okay with that.
Compared to some of the other forums I've tried to interact on, this one isn't anywhere near as toxic. I haven't seen the territorial hazing that I have felt elsewhere. Overall, I agree with what @SmallestOceans posted and will take the necessary steps to try and be a good example to others. Thanks.
Post edited by erocshifty on
"It's best to live in grace before you're forced to." EV- 10/09/2014
Man, there’s just so many different types of people thinking with their different brains in such a small, contained space. I think all social media in general is toxic and anxiety inducing. Every single thing that somebody says on social media or in real life has such a ripple effect that you never really see. Everything said is so important because everybody sees it, and is influenced by it.
It’s my belief that social media was created to make masses of people clash, not to bring them together. I’ve met some great people online that I never would have met otherwise. Hell, found my girlfriend on here out of the blue. But other than that, there’s disastrous ramifications. It’s destructive and addictive.
100+ years ago you had your own thoughts and only knew your own existence. That’s probably closer to the natural state of being than we have in this crazy age of technology. Nowadays you can see everybody’s input and opinions and a lot of it is bad energy. You can try to hold onto love, think it keeps us safe, but bad energy is contagious and easy to get sucked into. There’s so much to disagree with. There’s way too much information and overstimulation out there in society today. Getting pulled in all different directions.
You have extroverts and introverts on here. Spiritual and non-spiritual people. People that have time for socializing and conversation, people that only have time to drop a line. People that have been here 30 years, people that signed up yesterday. Entitled people, non-entitled people. People that read entire threads, people that just make a post instantly. People that think Just Breathe is a piss break song, other people get married to it. Trolls and loving/caring/mindful people. People that had a bad day or a good day. People that feel good, and ones that feel bad.
People that speak their mind and ones that don’t, People that stay involved, people less involved. People that want to fight and argue, people that mediate. Loose people and tight/dense people. People that only talk about their own life, people that try to raise the collective of the community. People that play certain games. So it turns into a convoluted shitstorm of toxicity. —————
Every interaction that has ever been is a battle for energy. Energy is always at stake between two people whether we are aware of it or not. Think about people you know and strangers you meet on a daily basis. You either come out of an interaction having gained energy at another’s expense, you have it drained out of you to the benefit of another, or there’s an even flow (balance), and a nice two way street where both people mutually benefit.
Since this energy at stake is so vital to our essence, some people adopt a control drama to try and manipulate energy for themselves. It’s usually molded into us by our parents in childhood. I’m sure we all adopt these dramas at times to protect our energy depending on who we are dealing with. Sometimes it is necessary to use one. Nobody is perfect.
The 4 control dramas are... 1)Intimidators/bullies that steal energy by threat 2)Interragators that steal energy by judging and questioning others 3)Aloof people that attract attention by acting reserved or withdrawn 4)Poor me’s that make us feel guilty and responsible for them
It’s important to identify which games and dramas people are playing for the benefit of our own well being. Maybe even more important to recognize which control dramas we are using ourselves. —————
There’s less toxicity in social media and in life when we abide by the Four Agreements...
1) Be impeccable with your word.
Say what you mean. Be mindful of what you say. Think before you speak. Do your best to come with love and good intention.
2) Don’t take anything personally.
How often do things get taken the wrong way? There’s a communication breakdown. You’re the only one who truly knows who you are.
3) Don’t make assumptions.
Because nothing is ever really what it seems to be. You have no clue what somebody else is really going through in their life or where they’ve been. Especially on social media. People take on different personas. The person you meet in real life is usually different than their display on social media.
4) Always do your best
————— When we connect, tune in, and identify with SPIRIT, we all have the ability to unify together as a community and transcend the norm.
Post edited by SmallestOceans on
Worcester1 13, Worcester2 13, Hartford 13, San Diego 13, Los Angeles1 13, Los Angeles2 13 Trieste 14, Vienna 14, Gdynia 14, Leeds 14, Milton Keynes 14, Denver 14 Central Park 15 Fort Lauderdale 16, Miami 16, Tampa 16, Jacksonville 16, Greenville 16, Hampton 16, Columbia 16, Lexington 16, Philly1 16, Philly2 16, NYC1 16, NYC2 16, Quebec City 16, Ottawa 16, Toronto1 16, Toronto2 16, Fenway1 16, Fenway2 16, Wrigley1 16, Wrigley2 16
I’ve tried to be a better human on here. Made a mistake a few weeks ago when I was all fired up about Trump and lashed out at HFD. He’s a good dude... not my finest moment. I also wasn’t very nice when the original Canadian Politics thread was shut down. That was ALL my fault.
I am changed human being since then for sure. I dealt with the anger I felt. It was an Inside Job that day (my white whale and favourite song)
To anyone I have ever offended in the past I am incredibly sorry. Having said that getting banned for a while off here combined with a few other things forced me to look at myself and what I’d become. I sure didn’t like it 😔
I don’t post often and I don’t really know anyone on here personally or converse with any long term regulars but I think you’ve made quite a few steps forward regarding whatever it is that you’ve done. I’m not wasting time looking back at your old posts and to me it really doesn’t matter what it was you’ve said in the past as long as you feel you’re making progress and eventually come to peace with yourself. And it sure sounds like you’re punishing yourself sufficiently and that you already figured out how to move forward. We are all messed up in one way or another and it’s not easy to deal with shit sometimes. Stay positive and stay well physically and mentally because they both matter.
Man, there’s just so many different types of people thinking with their different brains in such a small, contained space. I think all social media in general is toxic and anxiety inducing. Every single thing that somebody says on social media or in real life has such a ripple effect that you never really see. Everything said is so important because everybody sees it, and is influenced by it.
It’s my belief that social media was created to make masses of people clash, not to bring them together. I’ve met some great people online that I never would have met otherwise. Hell, found my girlfriend on here out of the blue. But other than that, there’s disastrous ramifications. It’s destructive and addictive.
100+ years ago you had your own thoughts and only knew your own existence. That’s probably closer to the natural state of being than we have in this crazy age of technology. Nowadays you can see everybody’s input and opinions and a lot of it is bad energy. You can try to hold onto love, think it keeps us safe, but bad energy is contagious and easy to get sucked into. There’s so much to disagree with. There’s way too much information and overstimulation out there in society today. Getting pulled in all different directions.
You have extroverts and introverts on here. Spiritual and non-spiritual people. People that have time for socializing and conversation, people that only have time to drop a line. People that have been here 30 years, people that signed up yesterday. Entitled people, non-entitled people. People that read entire threads, people that just make a post instantly. People that think Just Breathe is a piss break song, other people get married to it. Trolls and loving/caring/mindful people. People that had a bad day or a good day. People that feel good, and ones that feel bad.
People that speak their mind and ones that don’t, People that stay involved, people less involved. People that want to fight and argue, people that mediate. Loose people and tight/dense people. People that only talk about their own life, people that try to raise the collective of the community. People that play certain games. So it turns into a convoluted shitstorm of toxicity. —————
Every interaction that has ever been is a battle for energy. Energy is always at stake between two people whether we are aware of it or not. Think about people you know and strangers you meet on a daily basis. You either come out of an interaction having gained energy at another’s expense, you have it drained out of you to the benefit of another, or there’s an even flow (balance), and a nice two way street where both people mutually benefit.
Since this energy at stake is so vital to our essence, some people adopt a control drama to try and manipulate energy for themselves. It’s usually molded into us by our parents in childhood. I’m sure we all adopt these dramas at times to protect our energy depending on who we are dealing with. Sometimes it is necessary to use one. Nobody is perfect.
The 4 control dramas are... 1)Intimidators/bullies that steal energy by threat 2)Interragators that steal energy by judging and questioning others 3)Aloof people that attract attention by acting reserved or withdrawn 4)Poor me’s that make us feel guilty and responsible for them
It’s important to identify which games and dramas people are playing for the benefit of our own well being. Maybe even more important to recognize which control dramas we are using ourselves. —————
There’s less toxicity in social media and in life when we abide by the Four Agreements...
1) Be impeccable with your word.
Say what you mean. Be mindful of what you say. Think before you speak. Do your best to come with love and good intention.
2) Don’t take anything personally.
How often do things get taken the wrong way? There’s a communication breakdown. You’re the only one who truly knows who you are.
3) Don’t make assumptions.
Because nothing is ever really what it seems to be. You have no clue what somebody else is really going through in their life or where they’ve been. Especially on social media. People take on different personas. The person you meet in real life is usually different than their display on social media.
4) Always do your best
————— When we connect, tune in, and identify with SPIRIT, we all have the ability to unify together as a community and transcend the norm.
Wow, I think I need to copy and print this out and reflect on it regularly. It's not just an overview of social media behavior but one of life in general. Very interesting read. Simply put, people. While we all share the same basic anatomy, basic needs . . . we are all unique. But we all have choices when it comes to how we treat each other and it shouldn't matter if it's direct one on one or behind a keyboard. Kindness is one of the best qualities one can have.
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brianlux
Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 40,717
:hangs head low: I have contributed to the madness. The Porch really is AMT relocated.
Hold your head high for being honest. I think that's great.
I'm sure I have to. I never intentionally try to be a jerk, certainly never go out of my way to troll, but somethings I've said have come across offensively. I generally feel bad about that. At times, I feel so strongly enough about some things that sometimes my words come across too strong, or I am too bluntly honest, or I don't slow down long enough to take a more clear look at how something I say might come across. I try to learn, I try to be better. Sometimes I do well, sometimes, I admit it, sometimes I fail. I am a flawed human being. Learning and growing are a life-long effort. I'm still working on it.
Beyond that, there is no one here I hate, no one I wish ill upon. I think as a group, Pearl Jam fans are fine people. Surely that has something to do with who and what brought us here.
Post edited by brianlux on
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
Since we're being honest (not that anyone will care) about toxicity, I find some of those who have thousands of posts on here to be rather mean. There's a lot of us who joined years ago but for whatever reason didn't pay attention or post or were just too busy. And I know others feel the same way because it's been stated all over the place. It's kind of like the lunch table in high school, if you don't announce you're new and awkwardly respond to a comment (like you're asking for permission to speak) then you aren't welcomed. Act shy and meek and they welcome you. Please note that it's NOT everyone.
I don't like the forum posters whose first response is always being a smart shit or hates everything or the one who feels it's necessary to comment on or explain other people's posts all the time. And I certainly don't like any form of ugly.
I'm strong willed and minded, extremely accepting of anyone, everyone and anything that doesn't hurt anyone or anything. I'm also extremely disciplined in counting to ten, taking a breath and moving on because an ass is an ass is an ass no matter what color, religion, nationality, gender, etc. they are.
And I feel that a toxic President makes toxic people feel they have the right now to verbalize their hate. I have literally been physically ill since he became president. So that's where my belief differs from some others on here....an ass on the forum, an ass in real life.
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hedonist
standing on the edge of forever Posts: 24,524
Since we're being honest (not that anyone will care) about toxicity, I find some of those who have thousands of posts on here to be rather mean. There's a lot of us who joined years ago but for whatever reason didn't pay attention or post or were just too busy. And I know others feel the same way because it's been stated all over the place. It's kind of like the lunch table in high school, if you don't announce you're new and awkwardly respond to a comment (like you're asking for permission to speak) then you aren't welcomed. Act shy and meek and they welcome you. Please note that it's NOT everyone.
I don't like the forum posters whose first response is always being a smart shit or hates everything or the one who feels it's necessary to comment on or explain other people's posts all the time. And I certainly don't like any form of ugly.
I'm strong willed and minded, extremely accepting of anyone, everyone and anything that doesn't hurt anyone or anything. I'm also extremely disciplined in counting to ten, taking a breath and moving on because an ass is an ass is an ass no matter what color, religion, nationality, gender, etc. they are.
And I feel that a toxic President makes toxic people feel they have the right now to verbalize their hate. I have literally been physically ill since he became president. So that's where my belief differs from some others on here....an ass on the forum, an ass in real life.
Since we're being honest (not that anyone will care) about toxicity, I find some of those who have thousands of posts on here to be rather mean. There's a lot of us who joined years ago but for whatever reason didn't pay attention or post or were just too busy. And I know others feel the same way because it's been stated all over the place. It's kind of like the lunch table in high school, if you don't announce you're new and awkwardly respond to a comment (like you're asking for permission to speak) then you aren't welcomed. Act shy and meek and they welcome you. Please note that it's NOT everyone.
I don't like the forum posters whose first response is always being a smart shit or hates everything or the one who feels it's necessary to comment on or explain other people's posts all the time. And I certainly don't like any form of ugly.
I'm strong willed and minded, extremely accepting of anyone, everyone and anything that doesn't hurt anyone or anything. I'm also extremely disciplined in counting to ten, taking a breath and moving on because an ass is an ass is an ass no matter what color, religion, nationality, gender, etc. they are.
And I feel that a toxic President makes toxic people feel they have the right now to verbalize their hate. I have literally been physically ill since he became president. So that's where my belief differs from some others on here....an ass on the forum, an ass in real life.
I assure you that there are quite a number of thousands of posts people here who are delightful. I have met a number of them, dined, laughed, cried, shared housing, ticket buddied, covered and been covered for RSD... I know that many of us here can break rule #1. (Don't be an asshole.) 🙋♀️ Often, we don't mean it. Kind of a reactionary thing, but not excusable. I get that. I apologize for that.
Please don't judge the current state of the boards as standard behavior. Tour time is a crabby time. (You would think it wouldn't be.)
At any rate, we welcome you along. Let the dust settle. After the boards calm a bit after NAL1, I think you will find most tray tables have been returned to their upright positions and the crabby folks will have returned home from their (all encompassing) trip, a bit worn but hopefully aurally satisfied.
The only time I comment on low post counts is when someone uses their first post to lash out at the band or 10c in anger. I get that people can be upset and sometimes rightfully so, but it seems a strange way to introduce yourself to a community.
The only time I comment on low post counts is when someone uses their first post to lash out at the band or 10c in anger. I get that people can be upset and sometimes rightfully so, but it seems a strange way to introduce yourself to a community.
Not my first post so definitely not introducing myself, never said I was angry and I promise you I'm not upset. I was answering the question regarding the toxicity in this place. I believe you've proven my point. Thanks to the other two posts though for not being asses.
The only time I comment on low post counts is when someone uses their first post to lash out at the band or 10c in anger. I get that people can be upset and sometimes rightfully so, but it seems a strange way to introduce yourself to a community.
Not my first post so definitely not introducing myself, never said I was angry and I promise you I'm not upset. I was answering the question regarding the toxicity in this place. I believe you've proven my point. Thanks to the other two posts though for not being asses.
I'm fairly certain that he was not talking about you. The way I read it was the "long time member, first time comment" folks pitching a bitch about lack of tickets, ticket specifications, seniority, didn't read carefully, GA only complainers... You were neither lashing out at the band or at 10c in anger.
The only time I comment on low post counts is when someone uses their first post to lash out at the band or 10c in anger. I get that people can be upset and sometimes rightfully so, but it seems a strange way to introduce yourself to a community.
Not my first post so definitely not introducing myself, never said I was angry and I promise you I'm not upset. I was answering the question regarding the toxicity in this place. I believe you've proven my point. Thanks to the other two posts though for not being asses.
I don't know what you are talking about in this post, or why you think my response was targeting you. And I have no idea why you have decided to lash out at me at all, nevermind in this thread. Good God.
___________________________________________
"...I changed by not changing at all..."
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hedonist
standing on the edge of forever Posts: 24,524
The only time I comment on low post counts is when someone uses their first post to lash out at the band or 10c in anger. I get that people can be upset and sometimes rightfully so, but it seems a strange way to introduce yourself to a community.
Not my first post so definitely not introducing myself, never said I was angry and I promise you I'm not upset. I was answering the question regarding the toxicity in this place. I believe you've proven my point. Thanks to the other two posts though for not being asses.
I don't know what you are talking about in this post, or why you think my response was targeting you. And I have no idea why you have decided to lash out at me at all, nevermind in this thread. Good God.
I apologize if I misunderstood, which obviously I must have. I guess the first line “the only time I comment on low posts”....why is that and why if only negative? I realize written words can easily be misconstrued but new members need reinforcement and time to understand. Since this isn’t supposed to be a chat room I’ll end with my apology. Answer the question if you wish because I am curious as to what you meant and since I messed up understanding the rest of your post maybe the first line falls in the same category. The subject was about toxicity on the forum and one wonderful person took the time to explain why everyone’s so nasty right now.
Comments
I'm trying to be more respectful and mindful of others since the thread is a little more on the serious side.
My life has went through some big changes the past few years. I have more time to interact on social media than I ever have before. I've tried out a few different forums. Maybe because this one is the first, and I've been coming and going for the past decade, I feel more comfortable here than I have anywhere else.
I was painfully shy, sensitive and nervous when I first signed up here. There's no Pearl Jam fans in my area for me to relate to, so it's an isolated "real life" experience. As I've gotten older, my social circle has become smaller. Sometimes I just like to have fun. Sometimes I want to have a serious conversation. I've come to the realization of how insignificant I really am in the grand scheme of things. This has helped me in a lot of ways, but it sometimes also makes me feel invisible. I'm okay with that.
Compared to some of the other forums I've tried to interact on, this one isn't anywhere near as toxic. I haven't seen the territorial hazing that I have felt elsewhere. Overall, I agree with what @SmallestOceans posted and will take the necessary steps to try and be a good example to others. Thanks.
It’s my belief that social media was created to make masses of people clash, not to bring them together. I’ve met some great people online that I never would have met otherwise. Hell, found my girlfriend on here out of the blue. But other than that, there’s disastrous ramifications. It’s destructive and addictive.
100+ years ago you had your own thoughts and only knew your own existence. That’s probably closer to the natural state of being than we have in this crazy age of technology. Nowadays you can see everybody’s input and opinions and a lot of it is bad energy. You can try to hold onto love, think it keeps us safe, but bad energy is contagious and easy to get sucked into. There’s so much to disagree with. There’s way too much information and overstimulation out there in society today. Getting pulled in all different directions.
You have extroverts and introverts on here. Spiritual and non-spiritual people. People that have time for socializing and conversation, people that only have time to drop a line. People that have been here 30 years, people that signed up yesterday. Entitled people, non-entitled people. People that read entire threads, people that just make a post instantly. People that think Just Breathe is a piss break song, other people get married to it. Trolls and loving/caring/mindful people. People that had a bad day or a good day. People that feel good, and ones that feel bad.
People that speak their mind and ones that don’t, People that stay involved, people less involved. People that want to fight and argue, people that mediate. Loose people and tight/dense people. People that only talk about their own life, people that try to raise the collective of the community. People that play certain games. So it turns into a convoluted shitstorm of toxicity.
—————
Every interaction that has ever been is a battle for energy. Energy is always at stake between two people whether we are aware of it or not. Think about people you know and strangers you meet on a daily basis. You either come out of an interaction having gained energy at another’s expense, you have it drained out of you to the benefit of another, or there’s an even flow (balance), and a nice two way street where both people mutually benefit.
Since this energy at stake is so vital to our essence, some people adopt a control drama to try and manipulate energy for themselves. It’s usually molded into us by our parents in childhood. I’m sure we all adopt these dramas at times to protect our energy depending on who we are dealing with. Sometimes it is necessary to use one. Nobody is perfect.
The 4 control dramas are...
1)Intimidators/bullies that steal energy by threat
2)Interragators that steal energy by judging and questioning others
3)Aloof people that attract attention by acting reserved or withdrawn
4)Poor me’s that make us feel guilty and responsible for them
It’s important to identify which games and dramas people are playing for the benefit of our own well being. Maybe even more important to recognize which control dramas we are using ourselves.
—————
There’s less toxicity in social media and in life when we abide by the Four Agreements...
1) Be impeccable with your word.
Say what you mean. Be mindful of what you say. Think before you speak. Do your best to come with love and good intention.
2) Don’t take anything personally.
How often do things get taken the wrong way? There’s a communication breakdown. You’re the only one who truly knows who you are.
3) Don’t make assumptions.
Because nothing is ever really what it seems to be. You have no clue what somebody else is really going through in their life or where they’ve been. Especially on social media. People take on different personas. The person you meet in real life is usually different than their display on social media.
4) Always do your best
—————
When we connect, tune in, and identify with SPIRIT, we all have the ability to unify together as a community and transcend the norm.
Trieste 14, Vienna 14, Gdynia 14, Leeds 14, Milton Keynes 14, Denver 14
Central Park 15
Fort Lauderdale 16, Miami 16, Tampa 16, Jacksonville 16, Greenville 16, Hampton 16, Columbia 16, Lexington 16, Philly1 16, Philly2 16, NYC1 16, NYC2 16, Quebec City 16, Ottawa 16, Toronto1 16, Toronto2 16, Fenway1 16, Fenway2 16, Wrigley1 16, Wrigley2 16
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
I don't like the forum posters whose first response is always being a smart shit or hates everything or the one who feels it's necessary to comment on or explain other people's posts all the time. And I certainly don't like any form of ugly.
I'm strong willed and minded, extremely accepting of anyone, everyone and anything that doesn't hurt anyone or anything. I'm also extremely disciplined in counting to ten, taking a breath and moving on because an ass is an ass is an ass no matter what color, religion, nationality, gender, etc. they are.
And I feel that a toxic President makes toxic people feel they have the right now to verbalize their hate. I have literally been physically ill since he became president. So that's where my belief differs from some others on here....an ass on the forum, an ass in real life.
I don’t judge by quantity, just quality.
Please don't judge the current state of the boards as standard behavior. Tour time is a crabby time. (You would think it wouldn't be.)
At any rate, we welcome you along. Let the dust settle. After the boards calm a bit after NAL1, I think you will find most tray tables have been returned to their upright positions and the crabby folks will have returned home from their (all encompassing) trip, a bit worn but hopefully aurally satisfied.
2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
"...I changed by not changing at all..."
Thanks to the other two posts though for not being asses.
Correct me if I am wrong @JimmyV .
2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
"...I changed by not changing at all..."
You're fine.
(I say that in a completely platonic way
A number of people have turned against me it seems, just the vibe I get from posts.
Or is that some other user maybe. My mistake, if that is the case.