A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

mickeyrat

HughFreakingDillon said:

jhager79 said:

It's taken me a long time, but I finally realize that it's ok that I'm not ok. 

honestly, sometimes that's when the ladder appears to get you out. 

yep. we seem to buy into these societal expectations of xyz. its bullshit. comparing our insides against what we perceive others outsides to be.....

lastexitlondon

Lockdown has made me safer than ive ever been. Ocd means im the  best to do lots of the jobs that now require  military precision and im thriving. I lost 1 stone in weight. I cook fresh everyday . (I was most days anyway).I excersise 30mins every morning  at 9am. I am the one who does  the  trip  out to shop for 2 families.  I have a routine  with cleaning  down the shopping and myself.. ive moved my veg growing  stuff to a piece of grass behind my flat and started  with  my 2 year old to get that going  . Only thing is i cant sleep and im getting angry at night.
I just wanted to say out of adversity  and now not only the  fear for my life but my childrens ive driven on to be the boss of this  situation.
Do i still  have all my previous problems?yes.
Am i completely  clean?yes.
Do i want to drink or smoke weed .? Yes everyday. And my trouble will come when they say its ok to go out again because i wont. But my family will want to. Thats where my life will be not ever ok.
I guess im saying if this is my last hurrah then im going down fighting. Much love to my brothers and sisters here. Stay safe and stay home. Oh and  i dont look at any phone or internet except for once a day i watch dr.campbell a retired dr who only does fact for that day.  Cutting the  media out has saved my life at this  time. Well  worth  doing for us with health anxiety  or anxiety  at all.
There  is a quote my mum sent me. And i will try post it. 
The  words are the exact  words  i said to her the  week  before this one. 
Be pro active and control the controllable. 
Rob.

lastexitlondon

lastexitlondon

Sending what little strength i have left at 2.15a.m to you if  you  need it. 
Listen to the  new album and think of me. 
Whoever said.

hedonist

Rob, I’m happy you’ve got a sense of control over what you can right now. That you’re finding - and creating - your own routine and way to some peace through this. 

I hope good sleep finds you soon. And, that the anger dissipates some. Totally understandable, though. 

lastexitlondon

Thank you . I will try again for some sleep now. Stay safe at home . This  is only the start. Hold on as tight  as you  can.

oftenreading

Sleep - ah, yes, I kind of remember you.

Yesterday I was awake for the day at 2:45. This morning was somewhat better. On the bright side, I get lots of reading done in the night, and then get several things accomplished before work if I get up at 5:00. 

It's an ill wind that blows nobody any good. 

what dreams

lastexitlondon said:

Lockdown has made me safer than ive ever been. Ocd means im the  best to do lots of the jobs that now require  military precision and im thriving. I lost 1 stone in weight. I cook fresh everyday . (I was most days anyway).I excersise 30mins every morning  at 9am. I am the one who does  the  trip  out to shop for 2 families.  I have a routine  with cleaning  down the shopping and myself.. ive moved my veg growing  stuff to a piece of grass behind my flat and started  with  my 2 year old to get that going  . Only thing is i cant sleep and im getting angry at night.
I just wanted to say out of adversity  and now not only the  fear for my life but my childrens ive driven on to be the boss of this  situation.
Do i still  have all my previous problems?yes.
Am i completely  clean?yes.
Do i want to drink or smoke weed .? Yes everyday. And my trouble will come when they say its ok to go out again because i wont. But my family will want to. Thats where my life will be not ever ok.
I guess im saying if this is my last hurrah then im going down fighting. Much love to my brothers and sisters here. Stay safe and stay home. Oh and  i dont look at any phone or internet except for once a day i watch dr.campbell a retired dr who only does fact for that day.  Cutting the  media out has saved my life at this  time. Well  worth  doing for us with health anxiety  or anxiety  at all.
There  is a quote my mum sent me. And i will try post it. 
The  words are the exact  words  i said to her the  week  before this one. 
Be pro active and control the controllable. 
Rob.

This is a great perspective. In the "dis"- ability community over the past decade, there has been a lot of reframing of how we see people with different intellectual and mental challenges. Mental illness is no different. It can be a blessing. I really admire how you never give up.

Good luck with the sleep. That can take a toll after a while, so I hope you find some peace at night soon. 

Thoughts_Arrive

Nobody likes me and I'm feeling down.
People at university don't seem friendly.
People on here are all against me.
I don't know anymore.

mickeyrat

how has the new record been taken by everyone?

Thoughts_Arrive

mickeyrat said:

how has the new record been taken by everyone?

I have not had time to listen to it yet. I should not even be posting here but need a break.

Thoughts_Arrive

Being ghosted sucks hard. There is no way to make amends. 

Thoughts_Arrive

Trying not to cry and I have a Zoom meeting soon for university.

lastexitlondon

mickeyrat said:

how has the new record been taken by everyone?

I love it with the exception of buckle up which i cant stand. The lyrics  on most songs blow me away with the relevance to me.

Fifthelement

Sorry you’re struggling M.  I hope your meeting went well.  Sending (((hugs))) your way.

mickeyrat

lastexitlondon said:

mickeyrat said:

how has the new record been taken by everyone?

I love it with the exception of buckle up which i cant stand. The lyrics  on most songs blow me away with the relevance to me.

that is for sure a weird one.

can do without who ever said and swbm. back half are the gems for me. that trifecta to close it out, man......

lastexitlondon

mickeyrat said:

lastexitlondon said:

mickeyrat said:

how has the new record been taken by everyone?

I love it with the exception of buckle up which i cant stand. The lyrics  on most songs blow me away with the relevance to me.

that is for sure a weird one.

can do without who ever said and swbm. back half are the gems for me. that trifecta to close it out, man......

Who ever said is my favourite.  Something for everyone on here

Thoughts_Arrive

Fifthelement said:

Sorry you’re struggling M.  I hope your meeting went well.  Sending (((hugs))) your way.

Thanks S, I don't deserve it. But thank you.
It went well. Long but well.
More of them to come seeing everything is online now due to covid-19. Zoom is great.

Thoughts_Arrive

I still haven't had the chance to listen to the new album. 

mickeyrat

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Being ghosted sucks hard. There is no way to make amends. 

this came out of the blue?