Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Banning alcohol won't work - my husband's fraternity was shut down a couple years ago because of alcohol abuse (he was in college years ago - and drank a lot, btw). And that was at Stanford.
My daughter just finished her freshman year in college and they had a big orientation speech about no no no to alcohol and drugs and of course they were available at parties she went to. I've tried to teach her to be sensible, but what else can you do?
If anything, banning alcohol would make everything way, way worse. Prohibition never works. I can't believe it is still considered a viable option by anyone, frankly. It reminds me of the definition of crazy.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
His father is appalling and his nonchalance of what happened shows what kinda of person he is. And you see where the kid got his gall from. There was no remorse- nor compassion- which shows how some men still view women- as lesser- as less a person. The judge is worse by giving that hand slap of nothingness.
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g under p
Surfing The far side of THE Sombrero Galaxy Posts: 18,122
Banning alcohol won't work - my husband's fraternity was shut down a couple years ago because of alcohol abuse (he was in college years ago - and drank a lot, btw). And that was at Stanford.
My daughter just finished her freshman year in college and they had a big orientation speech about no no no to alcohol and drugs and of course they were available at parties she went to. I've tried to teach her to be sensible, but what else can you do?
I agree it won't work not on this country's colleges. My daughter a few days before she was to start her freshman year classes she went to one of these frat parties with her room mate. Well, she had too much to drink and passed out. Thankfully, her roommate called 911 and they took good care of her at the hospital. This happened in late August but she never said anything about it till November when hospital bills were sent to her. She was ashamed and embarrassed as to what happened.
I had a long talk with her as to what detriment she put herself into and the many dangers there are on a college campus. We had talked about this before and all the many things that can happen with me living in FL and my daughter attending UMD, College Park. I told her about an incident I had back in HS with having too much to drink and how helpless I was in blacking out. Luckily I had friends who got me home safely but many times it doesn't always turn out so well.
Well, she's about to start her junior year she tells me she has not had a drink since that incident. I gather she has learned her lesson as time has gone by.
Peace
*We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
edit: and your posts and this page of this thread has proven the point of why women find it hard to report sexual assaults, because eventually the narrative gets put on them instead of the asshole who perpetrated a violent crime.
There's probably some truth to that, and it is very unfortunate, it's a bitter pill to swallow. It's a shame people feel the need to broach the issue to victims, that is inappropriate at the least. I am speaking to the message we need to send to young women before they become victims, not the message to send to victims.
I'm sure I sound very insensitive, but I have been through all of this in real life with my cousin, and I am speaking from the distance of a decade of time for everyone to digest what happened and how everyone reacted. I was more senstive with my message in person, and I would never go on this girl's social media to tell her what I think objectively like I do here.
Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
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F Me In The Brain
this knows everybody from other commets Posts: 30,625
I think the people suggesting to tone it down on the liquor to keep yourself safe is based in reality and common sense. These comments are more towards taking precaution versus attributing blame.
Men typically comprise the bulk of the scum of humanity (I say this as a man). With 50% of all women 'reporting' rape of some sort at some point in their life... it's obvious a woman getting hammered around a pack of men is tantamount to walking in dangerous neighbourhoods at night while flashing a massive wad of bills.
You don't deserve to be raped just as one doesn't deserve to be robbed. But reality is reality: take precautions. There are thieves... and there are scumbag rapists.
In her case, as she admitted, she was a little foolish for not taking precautions to protect herself from the inevitable and lurking predators.
This is not the same thing as saying she is at fault. The fault lies entirely with the fast swimmer. This is saying she placed herself in a very vulnerable position.
* My daughter and her friends have been counselled by me and others to look out for each other- go to the bathroom together... leave together... things like this- and to drink nothing that hasn't been opened by themselves. She's been counselled this way because I know there are scumbags out there that the naked eye cannot distinguish.
I think the people suggesting to tone it down on the liquor to keep yourself safe is based in reality and common sense. These comments are more towards taking precaution versus attributing blame.
Men typically comprise the bulk of the scum of humanity (I say this as a man). With 50% of all women 'reporting' rape of some sort at some point in their life... it's obvious a woman getting hammered around a pack of men is tantamount to walking in dangerous neighbourhoods at night while flashing a massive wad of bills.
You don't deserve to be raped just as one doesn't deserve to be robbed. But reality is reality: take precautions. There are thieves... and there are scumbag rapists.
In her case, as she admitted, she was a little foolish for not taking precautions to protect herself from the inevitable and lurking predators.
This is not the same thing as saying she is at fault. The fault lies entirely with the fast swimmer. This is saying she placed herself in a very vulnerable position.
* My daughter and her friends have been counselled by me and others to look out for each other- go to the bathroom together... leave together... things like this- and to drink nothing that hasn't been opened by themselves. She's been counselled this way because I know there are scumbags out there that the naked eye cannot distinguish.
this is one of the best things to be taught. do not leave friends behind. always thought that was one of the worst things that happened in the Natalee Holloway story. one thing my niece has told me she used to do in college, and still does in her mid 20s, is if her and friends were going to a party at a place they were unfamiliar with she would take a picture of the house and send the picture and address to her sister who was at another college at the time. leaving a record of where last was. always thought that was a great idea.
I think the people suggesting to tone it down on the liquor to keep yourself safe is based in reality and common sense. These comments are more towards taking precaution versus attributing blame.
Men typically comprise the bulk of the scum of humanity (I say this as a man). With 50% of all women 'reporting' rape of some sort at some point in their life... it's obvious a woman getting hammered around a pack of men is tantamount to walking in dangerous neighbourhoods at night while flashing a massive wad of bills.
You don't deserve to be raped just as one doesn't deserve to be robbed. But reality is reality: take precautions. There are thieves... and there are scumbag rapists.
In her case, as she admitted, she was a little foolish for not taking precautions to protect herself from the inevitable and lurking predators.
This is not the same thing as saying she is at fault. The fault lies entirely with the fast swimmer. This is saying she placed herself in a very vulnerable position.
* My daughter and her friends have been counselled by me and others to look out for each other- go to the bathroom together... leave together... things like this- and to drink nothing that hasn't been opened by themselves. She's been counselled this way because I know there are scumbags out there that the naked eye cannot distinguish.
it is all in how it is presented, 30. there are many good comments regarding keeping yourself safe, but there are other comments that are, well......
I was 19. I briefly dated a girl who was 17. we were at a party. things got hot and heavy. she told me to hold off, she wasn't ready. I said "cool, do you want to go back out to the party?". she looked at me like I was an alien. I asked her what was wrong. She said she had never been with a guy who treated her with respect like that. I thought that was so incredibly sad. a few months later she was back to dating assholes, and a few years later she was dead under circumstances her family won't talk about. always made me sad.
I was 19. I briefly dated a girl who was 17. we were at a party. things got hot and heavy. she told me to hold off, she wasn't ready. I said "cool, do you want to go back out to the party?". she looked at me like I was an alien. I asked her what was wrong. She said she had never been with a guy who treated her with respect like that. I thought that was so incredibly sad. a few months later she was back to dating assholes, and a few years later she was dead under circumstances her family won't talk about. always made me sad.
I had a similar experience HFD. A girl I had brought to one of my fraternity parties got way to drunk. She passed out on our couch. Since I invited her, I was responsible for her (that was what my fraternity brothers mentality.) I was fine with that. She threw up over herself. Since she passed out on a couch we had on the back porch, I was able to get the garden hose and clean her off. A girlfriend of a frat brother had a shirt that we changed her into.
When she woke up the next morning, needless to say, she was freaked out. I explained to her what happened and assured her that nobody had took advantage of her. She cried for 30 minutes thinking what could have happened. She ended up being a regular at our parties after that. She felt safe with us.
will myself to find a home, a home within myself we will find a way, we will find our place
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F Me In The Brain
this knows everybody from other commets Posts: 30,625
I was 19. I briefly dated a girl who was 17. we were at a party. things got hot and heavy. she told me to hold off, she wasn't ready. I said "cool, do you want to go back out to the party?". she looked at me like I was an alien. I asked her what was wrong. She said she had never been with a guy who treated her with respect like that. I thought that was so incredibly sad. a few months later she was back to dating assholes, and a few years later she was dead under circumstances her family won't talk about. always made me sad.
I had a similar experience HFD. A girl I had brought to one of my fraternity parties got way to drunk. She passed out on our couch. Since I invited her, I was responsible for her (that was what my fraternity brothers mentality.) I was fine with that. She threw up over herself. Since she passed out on a couch we had on the back porch, I was able to get the garden hose and clean her off. A girlfriend of a frat brother had a shirt that we changed her into.
When she woke up the next morning, needless to say, she was freaked out. I explained to her what happened and assured her that nobody had took advantage of her. She cried for 30 minutes thinking what could have happened. She ended up being a regular at our parties after that. She felt safe with us.
Had a number of similar experiences at our Fraternity House. Beyond being decent human beings, we knew that if women felt unsafe at our house that we would not have women coming around and everyone looked out for everyone else. Bent over backward to make sure that any crazy shit that happened always saw another woman part of the "helping" process...to clean anyone who was getting sick up, or to get her home, etc. 18-22 year old people over-indulge. This is known. Normal 18-22 year old people take care of one another. This is known as well. Sadly, there are lots of fucked up people out there. Like this dick-hole Brock.
The love he receives is the love that is saved
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g under p
Surfing The far side of THE Sombrero Galaxy Posts: 18,122
In California, Black Lives Matter activist Jasmine Richards faces up to four years in prison at her sentencing today after she was convicted of a rarely used statute in California law known up until recently as "felony lynching." Police accused her of trying to de-arrest someone during a peace march in Pasadena last August. The arrest and jailing of a young black woman activist on charges of felony lynching has sparked a firestorm of protest, with supporters vowing to pack the court today. Meanwhile, in another California case, a judge sentenced white former Stanford University swimmer Brock Allen Turner to six months in jail after he was convicted of three felony counts of sexual assault. We get reaction from California Senate President Pro-Tem Kevin de León and Los Angeles City Councilmember Gil Cedillo. "You started your show talking about someone from Stanford who rapes a woman and gets six months, and then you’ve got a woman who is part of the Black Lives [Matter] movement who is trying to bring forth the challenges that face us in America around racism and racial discrimination, and she’s participating, trying to exercise her First Amendment rights, ... and she’s going to be given four years?" Cedillo says, somethings wrong with this picture.
Yeah something IS certainly wrong with this picture.
Peace
Post edited by g under p on
*We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
Can't open the link from computer at work; I'll check it tonight.
Just read that the judge can't comment on his sentencing or anything about the case because Turner is appealing his sentence.
Dude, you got off really light. Can't believe you want to push your luck.
Wow he thinks he's really living in a self perceived privileged world. I wonder if he's still enrolled at Stanford? Unbelievable!
Let me add he's so privileged that the 16 month trial which ended in March his mug shot was never released by news media. You could google him but the pictures are of him smiling and of him swimming.
*We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
Can't open the link from computer at work; I'll check it tonight.
Just read that the judge can't comment on his sentencing or anything about the case because Turner is appealing his sentence.
Dude, you got off really light. Can't believe you want to push your luck.
Wow he thinks he's really living in a self perceived privileged world. I wonder if he's still enrolled at Stanford? Unbelievable!
Peace
Nope Been expelled and banned from campus permanently. Or so they say
GOOD. The father was probably pissed about that expulsion. This story just sickens me to no end.
Peace
*We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
dude's also ruining the lives of his family and friends ... his childhood friend is a drummer in a band and they've had a lot of their shows cancelled because she wrote a letter of support for the dude ...
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hedonist
standing on the edge of forever Posts: 24,524
Where's the mother in all this? I don't recall reading anything about her (if she's still in the picture).
Also, that stupida fucking mugshot makes me want to junk-punch him even more.
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hedonist
standing on the edge of forever Posts: 24,524
The idea that your son has never violated another woman next to a dumpster before isn’t a credit to his character. We don’t get kudos for only raping one person in our lifetime.
Poor poor victim , fuck this kid & that dad I'd kick his ass just for saying shit like this I bet this dad never ever had a one to one with this imbecile on how to treat & respect women !!!
Jose, you bring up something that has been bothering me the last few days, ever since this story received national attention.
Someone here said previously that they had real life experience with a rape victim. I have real life experience, too, and a lot of it. I understand that this is a good time for parents to talk to their daughters about taking care in certain situations, about not drinking to excess. Those are good lessons for young women to learn. They should also learn about how to assess situations, how to have a back up plan to remove themselves from bad situations, and how to trust their instincts. But it has to be expressed appropriately. Much of the discussion around this case has focused on the victim being partly culpable. Sorry, she's not, and when things are expressed such a way as to assign blame to a victim, it's easy to understand why rape is so under-reported.
I want to say that in all the talk about how young women (and believe me, older women too) should take care, I am really fucking tired. Tired of how the onus to prevent rape is placed on women. Tired of scoping out every situation, where should I park, looking around, behind, under my car, making sure I have deadbolt locks on the door of my home, keeping my gas tank full so that I don't have to stop at night, taking care where I drive, don't roll my window all the way day down if someone happens to speak to me. Don't get on an elevator if the only other passenger is a man. Avoid streets, parks, any public place where I may have to walk alone with no safe place around. I have been watching out for so long that it's second nature to me.
So what I want to know in all of this is, what are men saying to their sons? Are they telling them that taking advantage of vulnerable people is wrong? Why do professional athletes all seem to act like thugs? Why aren't they saying to young men that you can be strong without being brutal, that how you live your life off the field or the court is even more important than how well you play a game?
I'm not on a tear about the men on this board or in this discussion. Far from it. Most of the men I've known have been good people. My kind, caring husband is a prince. But this situation reminds me that so many young men aren't getting the right kind of messages from the people they respect. And that will only change if men decide to change it.
Rant over.
"The stars are all connected to the brain."
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hedonist
standing on the edge of forever Posts: 24,524
I don't think that was a rant, WP. It made me sad though. My husband was at a work party at a bar last week and a young woman he was sitting with got up, put a napkin on top of her drink and said, "Will you watch my drink? I have to go to the bathroom." And of course he did, but when he told me the story it made us both sad. We're of an age where back in the Dark Ages you could go to a party or a bar and not worry that somebody would drop something in your drink.
When did that become a thing? And why?
There's a piece floating around online about the Swedish grad students who rescued the girl from Stanford rape boy - again, I think/hope there are more good people in the world than bad.
Comments
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Prohibition never works. I can't believe it is still considered a viable option by anyone, frankly. It reminds me of the definition of crazy.
I had a long talk with her as to what detriment she put herself into and the many dangers there are on a college campus. We had talked about this before and all the many things that can happen with me living in FL and my daughter attending UMD, College Park. I told her about an incident I had back in HS with having too much to drink and how helpless I was in blacking out. Luckily I had friends who got me home safely but many times it doesn't always turn out so well.
Well, she's about to start her junior year she tells me she has not had a drink since that incident. I gather she has learned her lesson as time has gone by.
Peace
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
There's probably some truth to that, and it is very unfortunate, it's a bitter pill to swallow.
It's a shame people feel the need to broach the issue to victims, that is inappropriate at the least. I am speaking to the message we need to send to young women before they become victims, not the message to send to victims.
I'm sure I sound very insensitive, but I have been through all of this in real life with my cousin, and I am speaking from the distance of a decade of time for everyone to digest what happened and how everyone reacted. I was more senstive with my message in person, and I would never go on this girl's social media to tell her what I think objectively like I do here.
https://change.org/p/california-state-house-recall-judge-aaron-persky
Men typically comprise the bulk of the scum of humanity (I say this as a man). With 50% of all women 'reporting' rape of some sort at some point in their life... it's obvious a woman getting hammered around a pack of men is tantamount to walking in dangerous neighbourhoods at night while flashing a massive wad of bills.
You don't deserve to be raped just as one doesn't deserve to be robbed. But reality is reality: take precautions. There are thieves... and there are scumbag rapists.
In her case, as she admitted, she was a little foolish for not taking precautions to protect herself from the inevitable and lurking predators.
This is not the same thing as saying she is at fault. The fault lies entirely with the fast swimmer. This is saying she placed herself in a very vulnerable position.
* My daughter and her friends have been counselled by me and others to look out for each other- go to the bathroom together... leave together... things like this- and to drink nothing that hasn't been opened by themselves. She's been counselled this way because I know there are scumbags out there that the naked eye cannot distinguish.
last was. always thought that was a great idea.
www.headstonesband.com
www.headstonesband.com
When she woke up the next morning, needless to say, she was freaked out. I explained to her what happened and assured her that nobody had took advantage of her. She cried for 30 minutes thinking what could have happened. She ended up being a regular at our parties after that. She felt safe with us.
we will find a way, we will find our place
18-22 year old people over-indulge. This is known. Normal 18-22 year old people take care of one another. This is known as well.
Sadly, there are lots of fucked up people out there. Like this dick-hole Brock.
http://www.democracynow.org/2016/6/7/why_is_black_lives_matter_activist Yeah something IS certainly wrong with this picture.
Peace
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
http://johnpavlovitz.com/2016/06/06/to-brock-turners-father-from-another-father/
Just read that the judge can't comment on his sentencing or anything about the case because Turner is appealing his sentence.
Dude, you got off really light. Can't believe you want to push your luck.
www.headstonesband.com
Let me add he's so privileged that the 16 month trial which ended in March his mug shot was never released by news media. You could google him but the pictures are of him smiling and of him swimming.
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/after-months-requests-mugshots-stanford-rapist-brock-turner-finally-emerge-n586936
Peace
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
Been expelled and banned from campus permanently.
Or so they say
Peace
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
Also, that stupida fucking mugshot makes me want to junk-punch him even more.
This in particular got me:
The idea that your son has never violated another woman next to a dumpster before isn’t a credit to his character. We don’t get kudos for only raping one person in our lifetime.
Someone here said previously that they had real life experience with a rape victim. I have real life experience, too, and a lot of it. I understand that this is a good time for parents to talk to their daughters about taking care in certain situations, about not drinking to excess. Those are good lessons for young women to learn. They should also learn about how to assess situations, how to have a back up plan to remove themselves from bad situations, and how to trust their instincts. But it has to be expressed appropriately. Much of the discussion around this case has focused on the victim being partly culpable. Sorry, she's not, and when things are expressed such a way as to assign blame to a victim, it's easy to understand why rape is so under-reported.
I want to say that in all the talk about how young women (and believe me, older women too) should take care, I am really fucking tired. Tired of how the onus to prevent rape is placed on women. Tired of scoping out every situation, where should I park, looking around, behind, under my car, making sure I have deadbolt locks on the door of my home, keeping my gas tank full so that I don't have to stop at night, taking care where I drive, don't roll my window all the way day down if someone happens to speak to me. Don't get on an elevator if the only other passenger is a man. Avoid streets, parks, any public place where I may have to walk alone with no safe place around. I have been watching out for so long that it's second nature to me.
So what I want to know in all of this is, what are men saying to their sons? Are they telling them that taking advantage of vulnerable people is wrong? Why do professional athletes all seem to act like thugs? Why aren't they saying to young men that you can be strong without being brutal, that how you live your life off the field or the court is even more important than how well you play a game?
I'm not on a tear about the men on this board or in this discussion. Far from it. Most of the men I've known have been good people. My kind, caring husband is a prince. But this situation reminds me that so many young men aren't getting the right kind of messages from the people they respect. And that will only change if men decide to change it.
Rant over.
When did that become a thing? And why?
There's a piece floating around online about the Swedish grad students who rescued the girl from Stanford rape boy - again, I think/hope there are more good people in the world than bad.