Should men really be living longer

deadendp

hedonist said:

Hobbes said:

rr165892 said:

You should break into a rendition of "Moon River" while asking the doc if he's using the whole hand.

Me too!

My dad had prostate cancer (ultimately passed of the bladder kind), and must say that as funny as this thread is, I'm glad - or hope - it's opening the eyes of some to address these most awkward and uncomfortable situations. Laughing at it can help to take away some of the fear and trepidation.

deadend, why is it always frozen peas? Would corn or broccoli florets not suffice?

We have used corn. In fact, any bags that I used, I wrote on the outside so that we knew not to consume them. No eating of penis peas in our house, thank you.

Peas because they are small and "moldable" to areas that need some ice, but not honkin' like an ice pack. I think that Mark would have gone through the ceiling if I tried to give him a handful of ice packs or a bag of ice cubes. Lighter. They also freeze a lot faster and don't leak all over the place like ice can. Broccoli doesn't snuggle up to curves, dips and doodles like peas or corn can.

PJ_Soul

whispering hands said:

shortstack said:

this thread has potential.

why would a butt hole be any different than an ear hole when it comes to a medical examination?
i get my butt and vagina examined every year by either a man or a woman doctor. they feel my boobies up too. i never feel violated.

guys are so dumb

I just did my only second Gyno exam three years ago, and it will most likely be the last. I just can't do it.. I should really be sedated.. And that's illegal.. But nine years out of ten I don't have the mental mustard ( not a typo btw) to refrain from murdering the unlucky doctor that drew my
Medical file.. I know it's really dumb.. But I get so mentally fucked up over the literal feeling of trauma in it, That I just can't do the regular routine Of it.. So sometimes us girls are dummies too. p.s. I love your straightforwardness!!

Just sedate yourself before you go in then. Take a couple Valium or something? Because these exams are important, especially as we get older, and no matter what your issues with them are, you need to do it anyway. I never feel violated, but I definitely feel somewhat mortified for no particular reason. I know the doctor doesn't give a flying fuck.

Cervical cancer is super common and super curable if you catch it on time, and deadly if you don't. And my grandfather had colon cancer which was only discovered once he started shitting blood, and then he had surgery for it, and then he died of the ensuing infection, which must have been horrific and unbelievably painful.

I remember this ad from a few years ago, where there is a woman's bare bum filling the screen, and then it blushes. And the tag line was "don't die of embarrassment". It was a really great commercial.

rr165892

Another hint is find a DR.with very small baby hands and fingers.Limiting his or her range of reach.

rr165892

Hobbes said:

rr165892 said:

You should break into a rendition of "Moon River" while asking the doc if he's using the whole hand.

I'm glad someone got that!

dankind

rr165892 said:

Hobbes said:

rr165892 said:

You should break into a rendition of "Moon River" while asking the doc if he's using the whole hand.

I'm glad someone got that!

I got it, but the line is "fist" not "hand."

D'oh!

Not to worry. We'll charge it to the Underhills.

Malroth

shortstack said:

this thread has potential.

why would a butt hole be any different than an ear hole when it comes to a medical examination?
i get my butt and vagina examined every year by either a man or a woman doctor. they feel my boobies up too. i never feel violated.

guys are so dumb

Amongst the Ani said:

deadendp said:

Thank you, shortstack. They take this lil brush and twirl it around in the vagina but only after placing this cold metal thing in there and clicking that mother open. Part of one hand in and the other out to feel around for issues. Squish of breasts, but then there is the mammogram. Had to have two on January because the asshat of a tech just let the machine drop on my delicate tissues rather than do a gentle crank. Felt like someone crushed my girls in some medieval device. The second, dare I say, was pleasant with no pain and confirmation that I had no suspicious tissue. (Pleasant because of good results.) Just get the parts inspected. Rob will agree that a lil discomfort now isn't so bad.

Is the brush to apply a new layer of sealent like when we re-seal the patio? I'm confused.

Malroth, did he at least buy you a drink first? I feel like dinner and a show should be required first.

#stillabuttholevirgin

No.......that would have been an awkward dinner

Malroth

brianlux said:

Ugh... I hate having my prostate checked. On the other hand, at 64 it's good to know it's healthy.

Worse than a the prostate check though was being in a room with a bunch of other guys and having us all told to bend over and spread our cheeks. Was this some kind of kinky porn video I was in? No, this is what they did back in the day when you had to have a mandatory armed forces (there's a term that fits, huh?) physical exam.

Does this go along with the rumors that guys used to have to swim naked in swimming class at school years ago?

WhatYouTaughtMe

Good for you for having it done. It's important and so many people neglect it out of fear. That being said, did he tell you to bend over and then kick your feet apart? Did he say your welcome after you thanked him?

Malroth

I

WhatYouTaughtMe said:

Good for you for having it done. It's important and so many people neglect it out of fear. That being said, did he tell you to bend over and then kick your feet apart? Did he say your welcome after you thanked him?

he told me to take my pants down, so I did, and I stood there with them down for 2 minutes while he did something in the corner. Finally he told me to bend over the table with that white sheet on it. No. He didn't say you're welcome, ushered me out the door quick, no nightcap.

HesCalledDyer

What is this tape ripping everyone is talking about?

I really don't know how you guys do it. The thought of anyone going anywhere near my balls with surgical equipment is utterly terrifying.

That said, I've never quite understood the big deal about the ol' finger in the bum exam.

WhatYouTaughtMe

Malroth said:

I

WhatYouTaughtMe said:

Good for you for having it done. It's important and so many people neglect it out of fear. That being said, did he tell you to bend over and then kick your feet apart? Did he say your welcome after you thanked him?

he told me to take my pants down, so I did, and I stood there with them down for 2 minutes while he did something in the corner. Finally he told me to bend over the table with that white sheet on it. No. He didn't say you're welcome, ushered me out the door quick, no nightcap.

That doesn't sound very pleasant. He could have at least dimmed the lights, maybe a little Kenny G to lighten the mood. Chivalry is dead.

Amongst the Ani

I wouldn't hold off too long on getting snipped. I was supposed to do it after kid number 3. I procrastinated a couple of years. Then came kids number 4. Wife finally took it out of my hands and got herself soldered after kid number 4 was born. I say soldered because that is what they did. It smelled nasty when they did it. I should have left the room but I think she would have been pissed.

Malroth

shortstack said:

this thread has potential.

why would a butt hole be any different than an ear hole when it comes to a medical examination?
i get my butt and vagina examined every year by either a man or a woman doctor. they feel my boobies up too. i never feel violated.

guys are so dumb

Oh, we are dumb............................
but now I am wondering about the female doctor..................
would that be considered cheating if I .............................................

rr165892

Ill have the Lobster Thermidor.

Malroth said:

shortstack said:

this thread has potential.

why would a butt hole be any different than an ear hole when it comes to a medical examination?
i get my butt and vagina examined every year by either a man or a woman doctor. they feel my boobies up too. i never feel violated.

guys are so dumb

Oh, we are dumb............................
but now I am wondering about the female doctor..................
would that be considered cheating if I .............................................

No it's not cheating.But it is a form of prostitution (an expensive one)since your paying her for her service.

WhatYouTaughtMe

Malroth said:

I

WhatYouTaughtMe said:

Good for you for having it done. It's important and so many people neglect it out of fear. That being said, did he tell you to bend over and then kick your feet apart? Did he say your welcome after you thanked him?

he told me to take my pants down, so I did, and I stood there with them down for 2 minutes while he did something in the corner. Finally he told me to bend over the table with that white sheet on it. No. He didn't say you're welcome, ushered me out the door quick, no nightcap.

Well this is what I get for making jokes. Got a surprise prostate exam today while seeing a specialist. He asked me some questions then told me the same routine with the paper sheet table. Worst part is, after he pointed to the tissues and I had to stand with my pants down and wipe the excess lube off my rectal area in front of another man, I had to sit with him for another ten minutes and answer questions. I did my best to not make eye contact. The things we do to make sure we are healthy...

hedonist

Aww.

(and awwkward)

I've got a problem going to the doctor to begin with (anxiety), let alone having something extra sprung upon me.

Good for you though, for going with the flow...so to speak. And now it's out of the way!

WhatYouTaughtMe

hedonist said:

Aww.

(and awwkward)

I've got a problem going to the doctor to begin with (anxiety), let alone having something extra sprung upon me.

Good for you though, for going with the flow...so to speak. And now it's out of the way!

Yes it's out of the way and it sounds like there's no reason to go back up there for awhile. So I've got that going for me.

Malroth

WhatYouTaughtMe said:

Malroth said:

I

WhatYouTaughtMe said:

Good for you for having it done. It's important and so many people neglect it out of fear. That being said, did he tell you to bend over and then kick your feet apart? Did he say your welcome after you thanked him?

he told me to take my pants down, so I did, and I stood there with them down for 2 minutes while he did something in the corner. Finally he told me to bend over the table with that white sheet on it. No. He didn't say you're welcome, ushered me out the door quick, no nightcap.

Well this is what I get for making jokes. Got a surprise prostate exam today while seeing a specialist. He asked me some questions then told me the same routine with the paper sheet table. Worst part is, after he pointed to the tissues and I had to stand with my pants down and wipe the excess lube off my rectal area in front of another man, I had to sit with him for another ten minutes and answer questions. I did my best to not make eye contact. The things we do to make sure we are healthy...

My doctor wiped my butt for me, he must really like me.

Hobbes

Malroth said:

WhatYouTaughtMe said:

Malroth said:

I

WhatYouTaughtMe said:

Good for you for having it done. It's important and so many people neglect it out of fear. That being said, did he tell you to bend over and then kick your feet apart? Did he say your welcome after you thanked him?

he told me to take my pants down, so I did, and I stood there with them down for 2 minutes while he did something in the corner. Finally he told me to bend over the table with that white sheet on it. No. He didn't say you're welcome, ushered me out the door quick, no nightcap.

Well this is what I get for making jokes. Got a surprise prostate exam today while seeing a specialist. He asked me some questions then told me the same routine with the paper sheet table. Worst part is, after he pointed to the tissues and I had to stand with my pants down and wipe the excess lube off my rectal area in front of another man, I had to sit with him for another ten minutes and answer questions. I did my best to not make eye contact. The things we do to make sure we are healthy...

My doctor wiped my butt for me, he must really like me.

Seriously laughing out loud!

PJ_Soul

Malroth said:

WhatYouTaughtMe said:

Malroth said:

I

WhatYouTaughtMe said:

Good for you for having it done. It's important and so many people neglect it out of fear. That being said, did he tell you to bend over and then kick your feet apart? Did he say your welcome after you thanked him?

he told me to take my pants down, so I did, and I stood there with them down for 2 minutes while he did something in the corner. Finally he told me to bend over the table with that white sheet on it. No. He didn't say you're welcome, ushered me out the door quick, no nightcap.

Well this is what I get for making jokes. Got a surprise prostate exam today while seeing a specialist. He asked me some questions then told me the same routine with the paper sheet table. Worst part is, after he pointed to the tissues and I had to stand with my pants down and wipe the excess lube off my rectal area in front of another man, I had to sit with him for another ten minutes and answer questions. I did my best to not make eye contact. The things we do to make sure we are healthy...

My doctor wiped my butt for me, he must really like me.

:rofl: