Teenagers...?

2-feign-reluctance

I worked with parents for 12 years in family therapy on how not to further instigate teenage drama. Take the high road, leave the water in the tap. I can see how one would get there being all irritated and angry, but gotta check those urges down.

Last-12-Exit

Haven't any of you seen a league of their own? When Jimmy Duggan threw kit in the cold shower because she was mad after being taken out of the game? I really can't believe pouring some water over your own child's head is getting this much backlash. It's not child abuse, it's not demeaning the child. Hopefully, it teaches the kid a lesson. Something to the effect of "hey, your attitude and drama is unacceptable and unless you like to be wet, you need to cool it."

badbrains

Last-12-Exit said:

Haven't any of you seen a league of their own? When Jimmy Duggan threw kit in the cold shower because she was mad after being taken out of the game? I really can't believe pouring some water over your own child's head is getting this much backlash. It's not child abuse, it's not demeaning the child. Hopefully, it teaches the kid a lesson. Something to the effect of "hey, your attitude and drama is unacceptable and unless you like to be wet, you need to cool it."

And isn't said child actually a teenager? Shit, when I misbehaved my mom used to grab me by the fucken ear and drag me to my room. That shit hurt a hell of a lot more then water being poured over my head. I turned out pretty good.

PJ_Soul

I don't think for a second it's child abuse or anything close to it. It's just a huge instigation and a sure way to piss the kid off even more (and she was pissed about a joke that she apparently felt was a slight on her, whatever the joke teller ' s feelings about it were). As i said before, if that had been done to me while i was already mad or hurt or whatever, I would have seen red. That's probably not what one should be inspiring in an angry teenager!

badbrains

PJ_Soul said:

I don't think for a second it's child abuse or anything close to it. It's just a huge instigation and a sure way to piss the kid off even more (and she was pissed about a joke that she apparently felt was a slight on her, whatever the joke teller ' s feelings about it were). As i said before, if that had been done to me while i was already mad or hurt or whatever, I would have seen red. That's probably not what one should be inspiring in an angry teenager!

Come on pjsoul, you would NOT have punched your mom or dad in the face if they had poured water on your head. Let's be real here. Those are your parents.

rr165892

badbrains said:

Last-12-Exit said:

Haven't any of you seen a league of their own? When Jimmy Duggan threw kit in the cold shower because she was mad after being taken out of the game? I really can't believe pouring some water over your own child's head is getting this much backlash. It's not child abuse, it's not demeaning the child. Hopefully, it teaches the kid a lesson. Something to the effect of "hey, your attitude and drama is unacceptable and unless you like to be wet, you need to cool it."

And isn't said child actually a teenager? Shit, when I misbehaved my mom used to grab me by the fucken ear and drag me to my room. That shit hurt a hell of a lot more then water being poured over my head. I turned out pretty good.

Jury is still out on that one.Lol

PJ_Soul

badbrains said:

PJ_Soul said:

I don't think for a second it's child abuse or anything close to it. It's just a huge instigation and a sure way to piss the kid off even more (and she was pissed about a joke that she apparently felt was a slight on her, whatever the joke teller ' s feelings about it were). As i said before, if that had been done to me while i was already mad or hurt or whatever, I would have seen red. That's probably not what one should be inspiring in an angry teenager!

Come on pjsoul, you would NOT have punched your mom or dad in the face if they had poured water on your head. Let's be real here. Those are your parents.

Pretty sure I would have wound up without thinking. It would have been a reflex (and yes I know because it happened once. My mom slapped me out of nowhere once, and before a thought even went through my mind I hit her back hard. It was pure fight instinct).

rr165892

badbrains said:

PJ_Soul said:

I don't think for a second it's child abuse or anything close to it. It's just a huge instigation and a sure way to piss the kid off even more (and she was pissed about a joke that she apparently felt was a slight on her, whatever the joke teller ' s feelings about it were). As i said before, if that had been done to me while i was already mad or hurt or whatever, I would have seen red. That's probably not what one should be inspiring in an angry teenager!

Come on pjsoul, you would NOT have punched your mom or dad in the face if they had poured water on your head. Let's be real here. Those are your parents.

I beat the shit out my moms 3 rd husband and sent him to the ER with broken ribs.He was a class a prick,never fucked with me again.I was 17.Dumb ass got drunk on Beam and started a fight with me over taking my shoes off at the front door.
My mom left him less then a year later.

FoxyRedLa

rr165892 said:

badbrains said:

Last-12-Exit said:

Haven't any of you seen a league of their own? When Jimmy Duggan threw kit in the cold shower because she was mad after being taken out of the game? I really can't believe pouring some water over your own child's head is getting this much backlash. It's not child abuse, it's not demeaning the child. Hopefully, it teaches the kid a lesson. Something to the effect of "hey, your attitude and drama is unacceptable and unless you like to be wet, you need to cool it."

And isn't said child actually a teenager? Shit, when I misbehaved my mom used to grab me by the fucken ear and drag me to my room. That shit hurt a hell of a lot more then water being poured over my head. I turned out pretty good.

Jury is still out on that one.Lol

- on a side note I heard me a little bad brain's on pj's xm today.

badbrains

FoxyRedLa said:

rr165892 said:

badbrains said:

Last-12-Exit said:

Haven't any of you seen a league of their own? When Jimmy Duggan threw kit in the cold shower because she was mad after being taken out of the game? I really can't believe pouring some water over your own child's head is getting this much backlash. It's not child abuse, it's not demeaning the child. Hopefully, it teaches the kid a lesson. Something to the effect of "hey, your attitude and drama is unacceptable and unless you like to be wet, you need to cool it."

And isn't said child actually a teenager? Shit, when I misbehaved my mom used to grab me by the fucken ear and drag me to my room. That shit hurt a hell of a lot more then water being poured over my head. I turned out pretty good.

Jury is still out on that one.Lol

- on a side note I heard me a little bad brain's on pj's xm today.

Sweet, more royalty checks!

HesCalledDyer

rr165892 said:

badbrains said:

Last-12-Exit said:

Haven't any of you seen a league of their own? When Jimmy Duggan threw kit in the cold shower because she was mad after being taken out of the game? I really can't believe pouring some water over your own child's head is getting this much backlash. It's not child abuse, it's not demeaning the child. Hopefully, it teaches the kid a lesson. Something to the effect of "hey, your attitude and drama is unacceptable and unless you like to be wet, you need to cool it."

And isn't said child actually a teenager? Shit, when I misbehaved my mom used to grab me by the fucken ear and drag me to my room. That shit hurt a hell of a lot more then water being poured over my head. I turned out pretty good.

Jury is still out on that one.Lol

Go ahead and retire "halts maul." There will never be anything halts-maulier!

badbrains

HesCalledDyer said:

rr165892 said:

badbrains said:

Last-12-Exit said:

Haven't any of you seen a league of their own? When Jimmy Duggan threw kit in the cold shower because she was mad after being taken out of the game? I really can't believe pouring some water over your own child's head is getting this much backlash. It's not child abuse, it's not demeaning the child. Hopefully, it teaches the kid a lesson. Something to the effect of "hey, your attitude and drama is unacceptable and unless you like to be wet, you need to cool it."

And isn't said child actually a teenager? Shit, when I misbehaved my mom used to grab me by the fucken ear and drag me to my room. That shit hurt a hell of a lot more then water being poured over my head. I turned out pretty good.

Jury is still out on that one.Lol

Go ahead and retire "halts maul." There will never be anything halts-maulier!

Fuck you dyer, haha

PJ_Soul

HesCalledDyer said:

rr165892 said:

badbrains said:

Last-12-Exit said:

Haven't any of you seen a league of their own? When Jimmy Duggan threw kit in the cold shower because she was mad after being taken out of the game? I really can't believe pouring some water over your own child's head is getting this much backlash. It's not child abuse, it's not demeaning the child. Hopefully, it teaches the kid a lesson. Something to the effect of "hey, your attitude and drama is unacceptable and unless you like to be wet, you need to cool it."

And isn't said child actually a teenager? Shit, when I misbehaved my mom used to grab me by the fucken ear and drag me to my room. That shit hurt a hell of a lot more then water being poured over my head. I turned out pretty good.

Jury is still out on that one.Lol

Go ahead and retire "halts maul." There will never be anything halts-maulier!

PJSiren

oftenreading said:

JK_Livin said:

My daughter is turning 11 very soon and can't take a joke for shit and thy're little jabs. She storms off. The jokes aren't stopping.

Sure, jokes are good; we joke all the time. Just make sure they're relatively kind if they're about her. Be cautious about embarrassing her, and whatever you do don't make fun of her appearance or her body - that's off limits, particularly from a dad (if you are a dad).

Oh we would never make fun of her appareance, or her body...that is out of line...his joke was at a silly thing she had done, and she knew she had and normally when we joke about stuff like that she rolls her eyes and laughs, but this time she blew up...

PJ_Soul

Sounds like the moral of the story might be "know when to lay off."

PJSiren

She might be acting out too because there is a court hearing today about a name change...We filed to change her last name to ours, she has her mother's last name, and wants ours, and her mother objected so they scheduled a hearing for today...she may see her bio mom today for the first time in years if the bio mom shows up....that may also be messing with her emotions...

but yes, PJ_Soul....I think I agree...my hubby doesn't know when to lay off...he's done the same to me before...when he finds something funny, he runs with it...and I, as an adult can handle it better than an emotional teenager...

Last-12-Exit

I did not notice this was a step child/step father situation. My oversight. That definitely changes the atmosphere of the situation, but I still don't think it is that big of a deal.

PJ_Soul

That's what I thought, but with PJSiren's most recent post looks like it's a step mom/bio dad fam.

PJSiren

PJ_Soul said:

That's what I thought, but with PJSiren's most recent post looks like it's a step mom/bio dad fam.

Yes, I'm step mom...but she calls me mom, she pretty much says she hates her mom...and I can identify with those feelings, because my dad wasn't around when I was growing up and as a teen I hated him...we have full custody of her and her bio mom makes no attempt what-so-ever to see her hasn't in 5+ years, and hasn't called in 2+ years...

shetellsherself

Just some thoughts offered with love and without judgement.

Dad says a joke that normally kid would have laughed at but instead gets all angry and starts to act out and be disrespectful.

This is unusual for kid so parents PAUSE, take a step back in surprise... Woah, what's up? Something bothering you? You wouldn't normally get so mad about that. Maybe you are upset about something else. Wow, you have a big day coming up with that hearing. Are you nervous about that? How are you feeling about seeing your mom? I just want you to know that I'm here to listen if you need to talk. I think it's possible that the joke isn't really the reason you are so upset right now. To be honest this is a stressful time for all of us. I wonder how your dad feels about seeing her again? I think we need to take a breath and realize that.

Teens don't easily see the perspective of others bc they are so busy trying to figure out their own. It might be helpful to recognize how the hearing and the stress around it is affecting the whole family