So glad to hear it went the right way. One of my sisters is going through a court battle with her boyfriends kids. Bio mom had kids in holey filthy clothes,sleeping on the floor and just not in an acceptable environment. Somehow she got enough money to try and get all final say on things through a lawyer. Sadly I think my sister and her boyfriend lose. No lawyer and they aren't married. They didn't want to use what little money they had on one. They would rather buy clothes and such for the kids. Bio mom still wants joint custody luckilly.
I'm so sorry to hear that...my daughter comes from a situation like that, her and her half sister were removed by CPS and placed with their father's thankfully. And the courts awarded full custody to their dad's so we do have full custody and she makes no attempt to see either child, and has since had 3 more children with a third man...and both girls feel like they've been replaced, she doesn't call anymore, it's been 2+ years since she called to speak tomy daughter on the phone...her 11th birthday was the last time...and what did she do, not wish her a happy birthday, not say I love you, not ask how she was, first thing out of her mouth was "Guess what, I just had twins..." My daughter's reaction was to be sad, and told her mom I have to go and she hung up on her, she has not called one time since...and she thought she could object to the name change and have a leg to stand on,....? Yeah right.
cdycinge, I really hope those kids are ok...I wish your family luck with them, at least they'll have joint custody, and know they are cared for when in his care...just give them lots of love and attention...
I still give my baby girl lots of love and attention, we have mommy daughter dates all the time...so she gets that sort of quality time with a mother figure, because I don't want her to ever think back and think she didn't have a mom....
You are an awesome mom. That girl was blessed to end up with u.
Tom Brady & Donald Trump, BFF's Fuckus rules all Rob Seattle
Well, her bio mom didn't even show up to the hearing, she "appeared" over the phone. So she didn't have to see her. I'm sure she's relieved a little bit over that...and the judge ruled in our favor and changed her last name...so I know she's thrilled about that....
Great news! Maybe dump a victory tub of Gatorade over her head to celebrate?
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
We took her out to dinner last night, and she was in a good mood when we went and then my hubby said something, I don’t even know what it was because I missed it and he didn’t know what part of what he said upset her, and she just got in a bad mood….all I know is it had to do with spending time with her today(Saturday)…I have to work until 3:30…anyway, we tried talking to her at dinner, and she wouldn’t talk…finally on the way home we got her to talk…she was upset about her mom not showing up at court…she was relieved to have not had to see her, but her feelings were also hurt that she made no effort to see her…
We had a good long talk with her last night about all the stuff with her mom and she said she thinks her mom just doesn’t really care much anymore, or has given up on her and her sister…and moved on with her new family, and the only reason she even objected to the name change was to be a pain in the ass…(my 13 year old is wise)…this is my husband’s and my theory as well…she has agreed to change her behavior…to work on it…and we will work on helping her, and she is putting down the metaphorical sword she carries, as my hubby refers to it…basically the sword is her rage at her mother, which she takes out on us because we’re here…that’s what she has agreed to work on, and we agreed to do whatever it takes to help her.
After the long talk, I loved and kissed on her and told her not to ever feel like she doesn’t have a mommy, because I’m her mommy…any woman can bring a child into the world but it takes someone special to be a mommy…(someone said that to me when I was young about my dad, and was pointing out that my uncle and grandfathers were more like my dad)…anyway, I love this little girl, to bits and pieces, and even though she’s not mine I will raise her like she is…
Thanks again for all your advice!
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
We took her out to dinner last night, and she was in a good mood when we went and then my hubby said something, I don’t even know what it was because I missed it and he didn’t know what part of what he said upset her, and she just got in a bad mood….all I know is it had to do with spending time with her today(Saturday)…I have to work until 3:30…anyway, we tried talking to her at dinner, and she wouldn’t talk…finally on the way home we got her to talk…she was upset about her mom not showing up at court…she was relieved to have not had to see her, but her feelings were also hurt that she made no effort to see her…
We had a good long talk with her last night about all the stuff with her mom and she said she thinks her mom just doesn’t really care much anymore, or has given up on her and her sister…and moved on with her new family, and the only reason she even objected to the name change was to be a pain in the ass…(my 13 year old is wise)…this is my husband’s and my theory as well…she has agreed to change her behavior…to work on it…and we will work on helping her, and she is putting down the metaphorical sword she carries, as my hubby refers to it…basically the sword is her rage at her mother, which she takes out on us because we’re here…that’s what she has agreed to work on, and we agreed to do whatever it takes to help her.
After the long talk, I loved and kissed on her and told her not to ever feel like she doesn’t have a mommy, because I’m her mommy…any woman can bring a child into the world but it takes someone special to be a mommy…(someone said that to me when I was young about my dad, and was pointing out that my uncle and grandfathers were more like my dad)…anyway, I love this little girl, to bits and pieces, and even though she’s not mine I will raise her like she is…
Thanks again for all your advice!
This is all really great news to hear PJSiren! Just an open ear can do such wonders. I'm very glad she was able to talk about what was upsetting her so much, and it was really great of you to tell her you'll be there for her.
The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
We took her out to dinner last night, and she was in a good mood when we went and then my hubby said something, I don’t even know what it was because I missed it and he didn’t know what part of what he said upset her, and she just got in a bad mood….all I know is it had to do with spending time with her today(Saturday)…I have to work until 3:30…anyway, we tried talking to her at dinner, and she wouldn’t talk…finally on the way home we got her to talk…she was upset about her mom not showing up at court…she was relieved to have not had to see her, but her feelings were also hurt that she made no effort to see her…
We had a good long talk with her last night about all the stuff with her mom and she said she thinks her mom just doesn’t really care much anymore, or has given up on her and her sister…and moved on with her new family, and the only reason she even objected to the name change was to be a pain in the ass…(my 13 year old is wise)…this is my husband’s and my theory as well…she has agreed to change her behavior…to work on it…and we will work on helping her, and she is putting down the metaphorical sword she carries, as my hubby refers to it…basically the sword is her rage at her mother, which she takes out on us because we’re here…that’s what she has agreed to work on, and we agreed to do whatever it takes to help her.
After the long talk, I loved and kissed on her and told her not to ever feel like she doesn’t have a mommy, because I’m her mommy…any woman can bring a child into the world but it takes someone special to be a mommy…(someone said that to me when I was young about my dad, and was pointing out that my uncle and grandfathers were more like my dad)…anyway, I love this little girl, to bits and pieces, and even though she’s not mine I will raise her like she is…
Thanks again for all your advice!
This is all really great news to hear PJSiren! Just an open ear can do such wonders. I'm very glad she was able to talk about what was upsetting her so much, and it was really great of you to tell her you'll be there for her.
Thanks! I'm trying...it's a learning experience constantly...to go from not having kids to a mother of an 8 year old, to now suddenly she's a teenager...and the teenager part happened too fast! lol
Daughter just came on, I think she really needs to hear that song...she's heard some PJ but I don't think she's ever heard that song, and I know that one early on helped me to deal with my feelings about my dad...might help her...
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
My daughter is 18. So. I get it. I remember what a bitch I was to my mom when I was a teen. I look back and think - ugh, how did my mother put up with that? But at the same time, my daughter is the queen of eye rolls. And slamming doors. I try to let her vent, but sometimes I lose my temper. I always try to make sure we talk before bedtime no matter how awful a fight we've had.
She's adopted (international) and when she was younger, occasionally she'd say, "I wish I was living with my birth mom." And that was like a knife to the heart. But as she's gotten older, she doesn't say that any more. We've talked a lot about her adoption and that's been good.
I know it will get better, but some times it makes me insane.
My daughter is 18. So. I get it. I remember what a bitch I was to my mom when I was a teen. I look back and think - ugh, how did my mother put up with that? But at the same time, my daughter is the queen of eye rolls. And slamming doors. I try to let her vent, but sometimes I lose my temper. I always try to make sure we talk before bedtime no matter how awful a fight we've had.
She's adopted (international) and when she was younger, occasionally she'd say, "I wish I was living with my birth mom." And that was like a knife to the heart. But as she's gotten older, she doesn't say that any more. We've talked a lot about her adoption and that's been good.
I know it will get better, but some times it makes me insane.
It will, here in the next few years you guys will become such good friends...it's so close!
See I didn't turn into megabitch until I was about 22...then it was all over and I was like crazy, I think that's when my bipolar REALLY got bad...I think I had the bipolar since I was about 15, but I was on an antidepressant in HS and college, and then I quit taking it and when I left school I went to live with my grandparents in KY and I was awful sometimes, and i think it was because I was not medicated, and this continued until I was properly diagnosed and medicated at about 28...but yeah...that's when my bitch came out and my wild side and sewed my wild oates so to speak...
Now I'm best friends again with my mom and my grandma.
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
So my daught lost her cell phone and has to communicate with her father and I while we're at work via email...last night she emailed us both and said she was going for a walk, but in the mean time her dad got home before she went on said walk, and she told him she was going to 7/11(mind you this is all she said)...which is around the corner from our house or another just up the street, pick your poison...well, 20 minutes went by and she still wasn't home, I get home and she still isn't home, it's been an hour by this point, and we sit and wait a while longer, another hour goes by and she is still not home we contact one of her friends who we have a number for, and she hasn't seen her....we get in my truck and drive to 7/11...both of them, no sign of my child at either, we drive to the park she goes to, not there only a family is there on the swings, otherwise it's empty....we drive back home and decide to drive to the other end of our neighborhood and here she comes walking up with some boy we've never seen before....My husband parks the car and yells at the boy to leave and her to get in the truck....a neighbor comes out of his house and get's involved seriously because we're telling our daughter to get in the truck and asking her where she's been.....???? Yes my husband yelled it...but she had been MIA for 2+ hours and as it turns out with a strange boy doing GOD KNOWS WHAT???? Anyway, the guy ended up calling the cops and they show up at our house and we find out the boy is not just a stranger to us...but he is 3 years older than my daughter....WTF is a 16 year old boy doing hanging out with a 13 year old girl???? They had gong to the same school when she was in the 6th grade, but had not seen each other since then....and she sees nothing wrong with the age difference...the COPS even found it inappropriate! And agreed with us for what we had done and just wanted to make sure everyone was safe....but how do you get it through to a kids head that the likely hood of a boy hanging out with a girl that much younger than him just to hang out....is pretty slim....most likely it's because he wants something and thinks she'd be easy to get it from....???? How can I make my daughter see the inappropriateness of it??? I mean she just argued with us over and over....she already once put herself in a situation with an older boy who tried to force himself on her....and she tried to argues with us, than THIS boy is different....when she hardly knows him....I'm just so frustrated and don't know what to do....
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
Statistically I think there is data supporting your theory that girls are more likely to be attacked by older males. But I'd caution you in the language you use with her. Remember you're not angrily punishing her for "putting herself in a position with an older boy who tried to force himself on her" you're trying to protect her from predatory charismatic dudes.
I'm not a parent so my word means nothing. I'd suggest you educate her with real world examples of some of the horrors teenage boys have been convicted of. Or at least make her watch a bunch of SVU episodes.
I'm biased.I was way more protective of my girls then my son.I would back burner the boy/age thing as secondary to the real issue that is trust. She wants to be treated like an adult so in doing so she must resciprocate the same.I think that should be your focus.Truth and honesty. Trust me it won't be the last boy age thing you deal with but if she is honest and open with you at least you will know,be on same page and not need to worry as much.
I'm biased.I was way more protective of my girls then my son.I would back burner the boy/age thing as secondary to the real issue that is trust. She wants to be treated like an adult so in doing so she must resciprocate the same.I think that should be your focus.Truth and honesty. Trust me it won't be the last boy age thing you deal with but if she is honest and open with you at least you will know,be on same page and not need to worry as much.
That's the problem is we can't trust her because she lies to us....she's an out right liar...she learned it in her formative years from her biological mother....lying and manipulating....
I can't watch your video at work, my computer hates to play videos so I'll have to watch that later from my kindle....
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
Statistically I think there is data supporting your theory that girls are more likely to be attacked by older males. But I'd caution you in the language you use with her. Remember you're not angrily punishing her for "putting herself in a position with an older boy who tried to force himself on her" you're trying to protect her from predatory charismatic dudes.
I'm not a parent so my word means nothing. I'd suggest you educate her with real world examples of some of the horrors teenage boys have been convicted of. Or at least make her watch a bunch of SVU episodes.
We do try to make her see that it's for her protection, we tell her that....especially after what happened with the other boy....now we're like HYPER PROTECTIVE...but she has it in her head that any attention from boys is good attention....and not all of it is....the SVU thing might not be a bad idea...
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
My sister is 4 years older than me. When she asked my dad why I didn't have a curfew when I was a teenager and she did, his response was simply "he's a boy."
Good luck with this. I would like to think I will be equipped when this happens but I know my response will be wrong. So far so good with my 15 year old daughter but I know this is coming soon. My response probably would have been to beat the tar out of the older boy once I found out the age.
Tom Brady & Donald Trump, BFF's Fuckus rules all Rob Seattle
I had plenty of 16 year old male friends when I was 13. 16 year old boys and 13 year old girls are pretty much on the same level maturity wise.
Did you lie to your parents to go out with them alone?
Well, I lied to my parents about where I was going constantly, whether I was with older boys or not, lol. But I didn't hide these people from my parents. They would come and hang out at my house if the urge stuck us. And my parents weren't particularly lenient. These were just normal teenaged boys, so why would my parents mind? They trusted me not to just randomly fuck them I guess? And I didn't. Though I did of course have some boyfriends who were older than me all through high school (my most serious BF when I was in high school was 19 when I was 15. He was super nice, lived up the street - my parents liked him, and we got a long great, had friends in common... it was just normal (and no, I didn't have sex with him; he was respectful of my age), and that was okay too. They were perfectly nice boys. What's your concern with your daughter? That she will have sex with them? That's my assumption, since I don't know why else you would mind. Maybe your daughter wouldn't lie about where she was going if you didn't have such a problem with her hanging out with a boy who is only 3 years older than her?
Post edited by PJ_Soul on
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
I agree that this is more a problem of mutual trust. She knows you don't trust her so she has to sneak around. She knows you expect the worst from her so why should she deliver anything different? That might sound harsh and I apologize if so. I feel strongly that by this age the proper morals and standards, self respect and self honoring should be instilled so the parents can let go a little. It's best when the parents can say to the kid.....I trust that you can make the smart decisions for your self bc of the values that you have learned to this point. You are smart and I know that you know what to do. Then take a deep breath and pray if that helps. Of course, you are still there to lead by example and to mop up the mess when mistakes are made bc mistakes will be made. That's where learning happens. Of course I'm not talking about mistakes in the sense of harm coming to the child. That requires more direct intervention. It's when the child hasn't developed a strong sense of self respect and believes that no one around them believes in them either that big issues can develop through the teen years. The job of the teenager is to pull away and find them selves. They either do it in a healthy, positive and supported manner or they do it in a rebellious, possibly self destructive manner. Trust is key on both sides.
Post edited by shetellsherself on
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It's not about trusting HER....it's about trusting the older boys....a 17 year old boy she was hanging out with already tried to forse himself on her....why should we trust that this boy would be any different especially when HE is sneaking around behind our back and not coming to us and introducing himself to us and saying hey I like hanging out with your daughter can we be friends? A stand up guy in our opinion would be like that.....
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
It's not about trusting HER....it's about trusting the older boys....a 17 year old boy she was hanging out with already tried to forse himself on her....why should we trust that this boy would be any different especially when HE is sneaking around behind our back and not coming to us and introducing himself to us and saying hey I like hanging out with your daughter can we be friends? A stand up guy in our opinion would be like that.....
That's fine of you know a person is bad news. Just make sure you don't start lumping all 16 year old boys together and ban them all, because you will just drive your daughter to sneak around behind your back. Before your main concern was just that she was with a boy three years older than her and it sounded like this was the reason behind your protective reaction. But now you're saying the boy sexually assaulted her..... obviously you know there is a big difference between those two things. Did you call the cops to tell them that someone tried to force himself on your daughter?? If that's true, why would she be hanging out with him still? That would be messed up. Maybe your idea of force is different than mine? Obviously, if you need to protect your daughter from someone who is dangerous to her in any way, this is a whole other story. And yeah, you should meet the people your daughter hangs with no matter who they are.
Post edited by PJ_Soul on
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
No this is a different boy...not the same one who did that to her...but yes we need to protect her by meeting and knowing the people she spends her time with....the situation with the other boy who did try to force himself on her was reported and handled yes... We just want her to see that a boy who would sneak around and not be willing to meet her parents probably doesn't have good intentions...at any age. And we want her to see that what we are doing is for her protection.
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
No this is a different boy...not the same one who did that to her...but yes we need to protect her by meeting and knowing the people she spends her time with....the situation with the other boy who did try to force himself on her was reported and handled yes... We just want her to see that a boy who would sneak around and not be willing to meet her parents probably doesn't have good intentions...at any age. And we want her to see that what we are doing is for her protection.
I agree that if ue's specifically refusing to meet you when asked there is something weird there (has yourbdaughter asked him to come over to meet you though?). But don't expect any teenager to be all gung ho about it either, lol, and make a plint of being sure you meet them. That is not where most kids' priorities would be. A rule for your daughter - I.e. bring her friends around at least once so you can meet them - wouod be a good one and assuming you're not doing anything weird, haha, or forcing them to spend time with you, then that's a pretty easy rule to follow.
That said, don't distrust boys too much.... your daughter needs to be the biggest factor when it comes to screening the people she hangs out with. Hopefully she can manage to make decisions that show respect to herself in that department, and if that's a problem for her, then I'd definitely worry (but again that is about trust her, not about the boys).
Post edited by PJ_Soul on
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
No this is a different boy...not the same one who did that to her...but yes we need to protect her by meeting and knowing the people she spends her time with....the situation with the other boy who did try to force himself on her was reported and handled yes... We just want her to see that a boy who would sneak around and not be willing to meet her parents probably doesn't have good intentions...at any age. And we want her to see that what we are doing is for her protection.
I agree that if ue's specifically refusing to meet you when asked there is something weird there (has yourbdaughter asked him to come over to meet you though?). But don't expect any teenager to be all gung ho about it either, lol, and make a plint of being sure you meet them. That is not where most kids' priorities would be. A rule for your daughter - I.e. bring her friends around at least once so you can meet them - wouod be a good one and assuming you're not doing anything weird, haha, or forcing them to spend time with you, then that's a pretty easy rule to follow.
That said, don't distrust boys too much.... your daughter needs to be the biggest factor when it comes to screening the people she hangs out with. Hopefully she can manage to make decisions that show respect to herself in that department, and if that's a problem for her, then I'd definitely worry (but again that is about trust her, not about the boys).
Yes, we are making it a rule that we have to meet all her friends before she can hang out with them from now on....and no we don't make it weird or anything we just have to meet them, make sure they meet our approval(ie: not bad influences like one of her former friends who she made up her own mind about) but you know...just normal kids and everything...
The boys thing is just because of the age thing....we don't like the fact that he was so much older than her and he didn't come introduce himself to us first...we feel a nice kid would have done that...and I know she has since asked him to come meet us, and he told her no...so she was very hurt by that...because she thought he was a nice boy....and clearly is not as nice as she thought...
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
Perhaps your daughter needs to explain to the boy, "you just need to meet my parents so they know who you are otherwise we can't hang out. They aren't going to be weird, they just want to know who you are" I trust that you aren't going to grill the guy either, that's what scares off most teenagers.
Good for you to have rules like that. The world is scarier out there for teenagers now...
The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
Perhaps your daughter needs to explain to the boy, "you just need to meet my parents so they know who you are otherwise we can't hang out. They aren't going to be weird, they just want to know who you are" I trust that you aren't going to grill the guy either, that's what scares off most teenagers.
Good for you to have rules like that. The world is scarier out there for teenagers now...
I am pretty sure that is what she tried to do...and he flat out told her no....which, honestly was no skin off our noses we didn't want her hanging out with him anyway because we did feel he was too old...and she has plenty of friends her own age, both boys and girls that we do already approve of....
My daughter is just constantly searching for validation....that is also a problem, even though we give it to her, it's because of the issues with her birth mother...so she goes looking for it in what my hubby and I consider innappropriate places....such as the company of boys much too old for her....who may or may not be harmless...but after the experience we already had with one, we are hyper proptective of her when it comes to that...we don't want it to happen again....
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
Comments
Fuckus rules all
Rob
Seattle
Maybe dump a victory tub of Gatorade over her head to celebrate?
We had a good long talk with her last night about all the stuff with her mom and she said she thinks her mom just doesn’t really care much anymore, or has given up on her and her sister…and moved on with her new family, and the only reason she even objected to the name change was to be a pain in the ass…(my 13 year old is wise)…this is my husband’s and my theory as well…she has agreed to change her behavior…to work on it…and we will work on helping her, and she is putting down the metaphorical sword she carries, as my hubby refers to it…basically the sword is her rage at her mother, which she takes out on us because we’re here…that’s what she has agreed to work on, and we agreed to do whatever it takes to help her.
After the long talk, I loved and kissed on her and told her not to ever feel like she doesn’t have a mommy, because I’m her mommy…any woman can bring a child into the world but it takes someone special to be a mommy…(someone said that to me when I was young about my dad, and was pointing out that my uncle and grandfathers were more like my dad)…anyway, I love this little girl, to bits and pieces, and even though she’s not mine I will raise her like she is…
Thanks again for all your advice!
Tattooed Dissident!
- Christopher McCandless
Daughter just came on, I think she really needs to hear that song...she's heard some PJ but I don't think she's ever heard that song, and I know that one early on helped me to deal with my feelings about my dad...might help her...
Tattooed Dissident!
She's adopted (international) and when she was younger, occasionally she'd say, "I wish I was living with my birth mom." And that was like a knife to the heart. But as she's gotten older, she doesn't say that any more. We've talked a lot about her adoption and that's been good.
I know it will get better, but some times it makes me insane.
See I didn't turn into megabitch until I was about 22...then it was all over and I was like crazy, I think that's when my bipolar REALLY got bad...I think I had the bipolar since I was about 15, but I was on an antidepressant in HS and college, and then I quit taking it and when I left school I went to live with my grandparents in KY and I was awful sometimes, and i think it was because I was not medicated, and this continued until I was properly diagnosed and medicated at about 28...but yeah...that's when my bitch came out and my wild side and sewed my wild oates so to speak...
Now I'm best friends again with my mom and my grandma.
Tattooed Dissident!
Tattooed Dissident!
I'm not a parent so my word means nothing. I'd suggest you educate her with real world examples of some of the horrors teenage boys have been convicted of. Or at least make her watch a bunch of SVU episodes.
LIVEFOOTSTEPS.ORG/USER/?USR=435
She wants to be treated like an adult so in doing so she must resciprocate the same.I think that should be your focus.Truth and honesty.
Trust me it won't be the last boy age thing you deal with but if she is honest and open with you at least you will know,be on same page and not need to worry as much.
I can't watch your video at work, my computer hates to play videos so I'll have to watch that later from my kindle....
Tattooed Dissident!
Tattooed Dissident!
Fuckus rules all
Rob
Seattle
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Tattooed Dissident!
Looks like a fun road ahead.
Obviously, if you need to protect your daughter from someone who is dangerous to her in any way, this is a whole other story. And yeah, you should meet the people your daughter hangs with no matter who they are.
We just want her to see that a boy who would sneak around and not be willing to meet her parents probably doesn't have good intentions...at any age. And we want her to see that what we are doing is for her protection.
Tattooed Dissident!
That said, don't distrust boys too much.... your daughter needs to be the biggest factor when it comes to screening the people she hangs out with. Hopefully she can manage to make decisions that show respect to herself in that department, and if that's a problem for her, then I'd definitely worry (but again that is about trust her, not about the boys).
The boys thing is just because of the age thing....we don't like the fact that he was so much older than her and he didn't come introduce himself to us first...we feel a nice kid would have done that...and I know she has since asked him to come meet us, and he told her no...so she was very hurt by that...because she thought he was a nice boy....and clearly is not as nice as she thought...
Tattooed Dissident!
Good for you to have rules like that. The world is scarier out there for teenagers now...
- Christopher McCandless
My daughter is just constantly searching for validation....that is also a problem, even though we give it to her, it's because of the issues with her birth mother...so she goes looking for it in what my hubby and I consider innappropriate places....such as the company of boys much too old for her....who may or may not be harmless...but after the experience we already had with one, we are hyper proptective of her when it comes to that...we don't want it to happen again....
Tattooed Dissident!